The Hand That First Held Mine: A Novel

Maggie O'Farrell

Jan 2011 · Sold by HarperCollins

About this ebook

From the best-selling author of Hamnet and The Marriage Portrait comes a spellbinding novel of two women connected across fifty years by art, love, betrayals, secrets, and motherhood.

"An exquisitely sensual tale of love, motherhood, and other forms of madness, The Hand That First Held Mine will unsettle, move, and haunt you." —Emma Donoghue, author of Room

Lexie Sinclair is plotting an extraordinary life for herself.

Hedged in by her parents' genteel country life, she plans her escape to London. There, she takes up with Innes Kent, a magazine editor who introduces her to the thrilling, underground world of bohemian, post-war Soho. She learns to be a reporter, to know art and artists, to embrace her life fully and with a deep love at the center of it. And when she finds herself pregnant, she doesn't hesitate to have the baby on her own.

Later, in present-day London, a young painter named Elina dizzily navigates the first weeks of motherhood. She doesn't recognize herself: she finds herself walking outside with no shoes; she goes to the restaurant for lunch at nine in the morning; she can't recall the small matter of giving birth. But for her boyfriend, Ted, fatherhood is calling up lost memories, with images he cannot place.

As Ted's memories become more disconcerting and more frequent, it seems that something might connect these two stories—these two women—something that becomes all the more heartbreaking and beautiful as they all hurtle toward its revelation.

Praised by The Washington Post as a “breathtaking, heart-breaking creation,” The Hand That First Held Mine is a gorgeous and tenderly wrought story about the ways in which love and beauty bind us together. It is a gorgeous inquiry into the ways we make and unmake our lives, who we know ourselves to be, and how even our most accidental legacies connect us.

Ratings and reviews

With an understated but clear writing style, Maggie O’Farrell writes about finding love, the essence of being female and embracing motherhood. This is a story that follows two women, a generation apart in age who share a passion for their work and motherhood. Each has a dynamic personality and is easy to care about. Although both stories are engaging, personally I found Lexie’s story more compelling. She is a free spirited soul, who at 19 moves to 1950’s London, lives her life with passion, discovers her true self and develops into a remarkably talented woman. The other is Elina whose story revolves around a difficult childbirth and the struggles of early parenthood. Maggie O’Farrell does an outstanding job describing the postpartum period a woman experiences and also the major impact a baby has on a new mother and a marriage. One thing that bothered me was until the end when everything merged together, I felt like I was reading two unrelated short stories in alternating chapters. Trying to discern the connection between the two was distracting, at least for me. In summary, a fascinating story with many twists that will have appeal to those who appreciate a more literary writing style and engaging characters. Winner of the 2010 Costa Award.

I really enjoyed this book. It was an easy and engaging read with lots of twists and turns to the plot. I saw the connection between the past and present stories immediately and would be surprised if anyone didn't. Surely everyone knows Ted is an abbreviation of Theodore?! As it was so clear I imagined that it wasn't meant to be a secret that he was the child of the past story. I found the story of Lexie far more interesting and engaging than the present. Lexie's romance with Innes was classic and wonderfully old-fashioned. I must admit I found the present story very tedious at times. As I am not a parent I could not relate to the tales of parenthood and found their detatched attitude to their son very frustrating. The only times I felt emotionally engaged in the present story was in the parts featuring Ted's mother who I immediately found unsettling and disliked her. By the end of the book I knew why we were meant to feel this way. I found the ending of both past and present stories very touching and I must admit I was close to tears with the sentiment of it. While I saw the final ending coming a mile off I had not yet figured out who Ted's adoptive parents were, but maybe that was just me being slow! The only criticism I have of the ending is Ted's reaction. I wanted to scream "MAN UP" as he sulked and became a recluse. I thought this was a bit over the top but the lovely ending made up for it. I would definitely recommend this book as a moving contemporary love story with lots of twists. It is not a typical chick-lit book as it has a much deeper meaning and I would certainly not call it shallow.

About the author

MAGGIE O'FARRELL was born in Northern Ireland in 1972. Her novels include The Marriage Portrait, Hamnet (winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award), After You'd Gone, The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox, The Hand That First Held Mine, and Instructions for a Heatwave. She has also written a memoir, I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes with Death. She lives in Edinburgh.