This Soundboard has all his famous and well known quotes and advice.
The Best of The Best Quotes:
✔ That's a Load Of Crap.
✔ Let Me Be Honest.
✔ Live As a Gay Women.
✔ Give Me a Short Answer
✔ Are You Nuts?
Note, this application is for entertainment purpose only, this application should not be used as a real psychologist If you need help seek a real psychologist..
You can either get a random joke or select a category to get a joke from! 30,000 Jokes is fast and easy to use!
Fresh, fast and fun!
Over 30,000 Jokes!
Over 60 Categories!
Would you like to see a joke added? Email the developer and let us know!
Here are some of the jokes! If you want more, just download this Free app today!
A friend told me the other he had a chronic disease which meant that he found everything funny. He can't be serious.
Anytime I eat in a restaurant I always leave the same tip on the table.
"Lock your doors in future when I'm in. That way I wouldn't dine and dash so easily," it says.
As a pyromaniac, I must say I found Match.com to be incredibly disappointing.
I'm a librarian with tourettes syndrome. My life's a joke.
which gives you brief love info
between two horoscope signs!
So please treat it as such!
Let stars tell you what
they think about your relationship!
Try out this simple as it gets love horoscope match!
Select sign of you and then your partner and find out
will relationship work!
Please feel free to comment, rate and suggest!
If you report a bug or have an interesting feature on your mind that could be added to the app please mail me directly!
More coming soon!
****How to use the app****
If your kids need help behaving then load the app and show them who is calling. One look at who is calling to checking up on them will usually help them behave. If that doesn't work then answer the call from Santa (note that Santa does not actually talk) and have a fake, one-sided conversation with Santa explaining their bad behavior. This will always fix the problem.
Here is an actual conversation used on the designer's children:
Parent: "Stop fighting, Santa is watching."
Kids: "No he's not."
Parent: (Loads the apps and shows the kids Santa is calling.) "Oh look who's calling to check on you guys."
Kids: (Surprised but a suspicious look in the eye, calling my bluff.)
Parent: (Answers Santa's call.) "Oh hi Santa. Yes they are being bad. You're not going to bring them presents this year if they keep fighting? Ok, I'll tell them."
Here's what people have said:
"Best app I could of downloaded the fake call from Santa has Lily hyper but she being a little angel not a peep out of her since 7"
"OMG. Every parent should use this app. "Santa Claus Calling" Fake call from Santa."
"Well using the 'fake call from Santa' app just sent Ewan in2 hysteria! After tears &upset,Ewan is now praying 2 Jesus 4 Santa 2still come! 😳"