Have you lost your keys? Using absolutely no military-sourced software this app will help you find them again. Cutting-edge heuristic methods and virtual simulation techniques will walk you through a process that will narrow down their location with an 87%* certainty.
This app has been released for free for the good of humanity. That means you, human! Unless you're a cat secretly using a computer while nobody's looking, in which case what are you thinking? Cats don't have keys!
Guaranteed to contain zero sheep.
*NB 13% chance of serious injury.