Waffle Irons vs. the Horde
About this audiobook
AI narration has never sounded like this.
That's because it's not really AI narration. Instead, human actors created AI models of their own voices. Then the author played them like a clarinet.
The actors couldn't storm off in a huff, even when it took 20 retakes to voice the scene exactly as its author intended.
Don't worry; they got royalties.
This is a full theatrical production with multiple voices and extensive music. One character is the author's natural voice, and one is a true AI. Can you guess which one?
The Plot:
The first drone war did not go as we hoped. This is the hilarious story of the 32,000 men and women, all of them single between 18 and 25, who drew the duty of kicking the drones off our dead world, so we could start to rebuild.
Author's Summary:
The drones had superior tech and perfect military discipline. Our only advantage was that we had neither.
Everyone knows how we beat them, but you only know what I wanted you to know. Now, it’s finally time to tell you what really happened. This is my memoir of the war, edited by Dr. Insensitive Jerk. As editors go, he was not the most skilled, or the most likeable, but he was reasonably priced. In retrospect, I should have paid more.
Editor's Summary:
I'm not writing a summary. You should have treated me better.
Publisher's Summary
Given the author, we were fools to accept this contract. We won't make that mistake again.
The contract requires us to supply a summary, so here it is: FU.
Are You Still Reading This?
Since you are so persistent, here are some things you will find in this book:
Hiding among the Perseid meteors
A cruel narrator
A Christian hero
A desperate battle
Vengeance
True love
Here are some things you won't find:
A girl boss
A boring page
