Vampires Need Not...Apply?: An Accidentally Yours Novel

Hachette Audio

Narrated by Helen Wick

11 hr 52 min

This is book 4 in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling Accidentally Yours paranormal romance series.

Meet Dr. Antonio Acero. Heir to Spain's wealthiest family, world-renowned physicist, and dedicated bachelor. While on vacation in southern Mexico, Antonio discovers an ancient Mayan tablet. Local legends say it contains magical properties, properties that could put his stalling research on the map.

But is this really his lucky break?

When Antonio attempts to put the tablet to use, he'll discover that Fate has other plans. Her name is Ixtab, and she's quite possibly the deadliest deity who ever lived.

Approx. 85,000 words.

The Accidentally Yours Series BOOK 1: Accidentally in Love with...a God?
BOOK 2: Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?
BOOK 3: Sun God Seeks...Surrogate?
BOOK 3.5: Accidentally...Evil? (a Novella)
BOOK 4: Vampires Need Not...Apply?
BOOK 4.5: Accidentally...Cimil? (a Novella) (Coming in January 2014)
BOOK 5: Accidentally...Over? (Coming in August 2014)
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Additional Information

Publisher
Hachette Audio
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Published on
Mar 25, 2014
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Duration
11h 52m 52s
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ISBN
9781478978824
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Humorous / General
Fiction / Romance / Contemporary
Fiction / Romance / Erotica
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Export option
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Eligible for Family Library

Listening information

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This is book 2 in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling paranormal romance Accidentally Yours series.

"If you love her, set her free. If she comes back, she's yours. If she doesn't...Christ! Stubborn woman! Hunt her down, and bring her the hell back; she's still yours according to vampire law."

- Niccolo DiConti, General of the Vampire Queen's Army.

After a three-century "time out," legendary vampire Niccolo DiConti vows to fulfill an ancient prophecy and, along the way, defeat the demented queen of the damned. All he has to do is find his human mate, seduce her into agreeing to become a vampire, and bond her to him forever. Luckily, he's handsome, charming, and mind-blowing in bed. How hard could this be?

On vacation in sultry Mexico, biologist Helena Strauss makes the discovery of a lifetime when she meets Niccolo-and finds herself caught in a world of supernatural secrets and dangerous delights. Even more shocking is that he seems to know everything about her and claims her as his true immortal companion. Sure, she can't take her eyes-or mouth-off this gorgeous, perfect being. But can a hot-blooded gal like her really settle down with a cold-hearted vampire?

90,000 words

The Accidentally Yours Series BOOK 1: Accidentally in Love with...a God?
BOOK 2: Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?
BOOK 3: Sun God Seeks...Surrogate?
BOOK 3.5: Accidentally...Evil? (a Novella)
BOOK 4: Vampires Need Not...Apply?
BOOK 4.5: Accidentally...Cimil? (a Novella) (Coming in January 2014)
BOOK 5: Accidentally...Over? (Coming in August 2014)

From New York Times Bestseller Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Comes Book #3 of the Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. Series. (Standalone)

HIS MISSION: LOSE BEER BELLY. FIND PERFECT WOMAN. SAVE WORLD.

The God of Wine has been partying for over ten thousand years, and New Year's Eve, when humans around the world succumb to his naturally occurring spike in powers, is his biggest night. Only this year, a plague is sweeping the immortal community, and he's turning downright evil. All those New Year's bashes will turn into bloodbaths if he doesn't stop the transformation.

Sadly, the only known cure is finding a mate. Not so easy for a rude, beer-bellied mess who's definitely not husband material.

But can a little gym-time and help from the pros at Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. turn him into a divine sex-machine the ladies will want? Or will it take something more?
******
WARNING:
This dirty, dirty book contains a buck-naked god, sloppy drunkenness, the c-word, f-word, p-word, d-word--okay, neverthehell mind! It has a lot of f**king bad words. Okay?--invisible unicorns, outrageously sized penises, cocktail recipes, leather pants, no pants, and one healthy eating tip.

If you do not like dirty, dirty books with buck-naked gods, sloppy drunkenness, the c-word, f-word, p-word, d-word--yes, yes, all the bad words--invisible unicorns, outrageously sized penises, cocktail recipes, leather pants, no pants, and healthy eating tips, then this book might not be for you. (But feel free to gift it to your naughty, slutty friend with the gutter mouth.)

For MORE Immortal Fun: www.mimijean.net/immortal_matchmakers

Experience the internet's most talked-about book, now a major motion picture, from Anna Todd, the writer Cosmopolitan called “the biggest literary phenomenon of her generation.” Now with a new bonus chapter read by the film’s Hero Fiennes Tiffin and a letter to listeners read by Anna Todd

There was the time before Tessa met Hardin, and then there’s everything AFTER... Life will never be the same. #Hessa

Tessa is a good girl with a sweet, reliable boyfriend back home. She’s got direction, ambition, and a mother who’s intent on keeping her that way.

But she’s barely moved into her freshman dorm when she runs into Hardin. With his tousled brown hair, cocky British accent, and tattoos, Hardin is cute and different from what she’s used to.

But he’s also rude—to the point of cruelty, even. For all his attitude, Tessa should hate Hardin. And she does—until she finds herself alone with him in his room. Something about his dark mood grabs her, and when they kiss it ignites within her a passion she’s never known before.

He'll call her beautiful, then insist he isn’t the one for her and disappear again and again. Despite the reckless way he treats her, Tessa is compelled to dig deeper and find the real Hardin beneath all his lies. He pushes her away again and again, yet every time she pushes back, he only pulls her in deeper.

Tessa already has the perfect boyfriend. So why is she trying so hard to overcome her own hurt pride and Hardin's prejudice about nice girls like her?

Unless...could this be love?
This is book 2 in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling paranormal romance Accidentally Yours series.

"If you love her, set her free. If she comes back, she's yours. If she doesn't...Christ! Stubborn woman! Hunt her down, and bring her the hell back; she's still yours according to vampire law."

- Niccolo DiConti, General of the Vampire Queen's Army.

After a three-century "time out," legendary vampire Niccolo DiConti vows to fulfill an ancient prophecy and, along the way, defeat the demented queen of the damned. All he has to do is find his human mate, seduce her into agreeing to become a vampire, and bond her to him forever. Luckily, he's handsome, charming, and mind-blowing in bed. How hard could this be?

On vacation in sultry Mexico, biologist Helena Strauss makes the discovery of a lifetime when she meets Niccolo-and finds herself caught in a world of supernatural secrets and dangerous delights. Even more shocking is that he seems to know everything about her and claims her as his true immortal companion. Sure, she can't take her eyes-or mouth-off this gorgeous, perfect being. But can a hot-blooded gal like her really settle down with a cold-hearted vampire?

90,000 words

The Accidentally Yours Series BOOK 1: Accidentally in Love with...a God?
BOOK 2: Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?
BOOK 3: Sun God Seeks...Surrogate?
BOOK 3.5: Accidentally...Evil? (a Novella)
BOOK 4: Vampires Need Not...Apply?
BOOK 4.5: Accidentally...Cimil? (a Novella) (Coming in January 2014)
BOOK 5: Accidentally...Over? (Coming in August 2014)
This is book 2 in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling paranormal romance Accidentally Yours series.

"If you love her, set her free. If she comes back, she's yours. If she doesn't...Christ! Stubborn woman! Hunt her down, and bring her the hell back; she's still yours according to vampire law."

- Niccolo DiConti, General of the Vampire Queen's Army.

After a three-century "time out," legendary vampire Niccolo DiConti vows to fulfill an ancient prophecy and, along the way, defeat the demented queen of the damned. All he has to do is find his human mate, seduce her into agreeing to become a vampire, and bond her to him forever. Luckily, he's handsome, charming, and mind-blowing in bed. How hard could this be?

On vacation in sultry Mexico, biologist Helena Strauss makes the discovery of a lifetime when she meets Niccolo-and finds herself caught in a world of supernatural secrets and dangerous delights. Even more shocking is that he seems to know everything about her and claims her as his true immortal companion. Sure, she can't take her eyes-or mouth-off this gorgeous, perfect being. But can a hot-blooded gal like her really settle down with a cold-hearted vampire?

90,000 words

The Accidentally Yours Series BOOK 1: Accidentally in Love with...a God?
BOOK 2: Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?
BOOK 3: Sun God Seeks...Surrogate?
BOOK 3.5: Accidentally...Evil? (a Novella)
BOOK 4: Vampires Need Not...Apply?
BOOK 4.5: Accidentally...Cimil? (a Novella) (Coming in January 2014)
BOOK 5: Accidentally...Over? (Coming in August 2014)
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