Fathers are a rare, special breed, prone to over-the-top yet endearing behaviors that set them apart from the rest of humanity. After all, what makes Vacation's Clark Griswold so funny? Because he epitomizes a blend of millions of daffy dads! Here is a book to honor the fatherly Griswold in your life.
Who else but a father . . .
* Would stand in the pouring rain, ankle-deep in the mud, to watch a peewee football game on the off chance that his kid might be put in during the fourth quarter?
Who Else but a Father? captures the essence of dad-dom and makes a special gift for that special dad who will go the extra mile for you-even if it means pinch-hitting for his sick wife at "Mommy and Me" day.
Consider the author's take on this dadism:
"Let's nip this in the bud right now." Dads love nipping things in the bud. Some dads could go around bud-nipping all day. Among the most nippable . . . cussing, budding young romance, and a daughter's dreams of becoming a Vegas showgirl.
Dadgummit knows just where Dad is coming from . . . and fatherhood will never be the same.
* Cathy Hamilton humorously defines exactly what it means to grapple with simultaneous hot flashes, memory loss, and insomnia.
Women born between 1945 and 1964 account for 27.7 percent of the American population. Approximately 83 million women in this demographic are also experiencing a surge of hormones as they approach that significantly female midlife milestone. For herself and others like her, Cathy Hamilton characterizes the telltale signs of menopause in Menopause Means . . . Never Having to Say You're Chilly.
Hamilton's 100 hilarious insights on menopause are accompanied by full-color spot illustrations. They include:
* Menopause means . . . trading the fear of pregnancy for the greater fear of a man with a Viagra prescription.
* Menopause means . . . becoming intimately familiar with the shopping channel hosts populating the airwaves at 3:30 a.m.
In addition to authoring more than 10 humor titles with AMP, Hamilton has also launched a Web site for women over 40: www.BoomerGirl.com.
Now updated to include the latest 2012 NMC Midwifery Rules and Standards and a brand new chapter on the midwife and public health, this comprehensive resource provides a wide range of need-to-know information for student midwives, including:Effective communication and documentation Confidentiality Interdisciplinary working The fundamentals of antenatal, intrapartum, and postnatal care Assessment and examination of the new-born baby Medicines Public health Clinical decision-making Evidence-based practice
With case studies, words of wisdom from current midwives and a range of activities and self-test questions throughout – making it easy to learn and understand key concepts – The Student’s Guide to Becoming a Midwife is the ideal companion for students throughout their course.
How do you thank a mom who goes above and beyond her motherly duty? You could present her with clunky ceramic candlesticks made in third grade art class that she'll display at all times--even when company comes. Or there's Cathy Hamilton's latest book, Who Else but a Mother?, which celebrates Mom and all the quirky and heroic ways she keeps her household held together--occasionally with the aid of superglue.
After all, who else but a mother . . .
* Would smile and pretend that everything is perfectly normal, even though her precious child is standing stark naked in the middle of her dinner party?
Perfect for Mother's Day, Who Else but a Mother? is the gift to show her you notice and appreciate all the loopy and loving things she does.
Move over Mr. Webster. Cathy Hamilton is now helping readers discover what the message is. Following in the vein of her best-selling Momisms, Dadisms, and Kidisms, the author delivers Over-the-Hillisms: What They Say and What They Really Mean. No legitimate dictionary of American age-related remarks and comments could be funnier.
Perfect material for everyone from forty-somethings on up, Over-the-Hillisms is full of those telling sayings that reveal they've finally gone over to the old side. Oldsters may not be history, but they've certainly got one, and that fact slips out in just about every comment and observation they make. They say, "They don't make 'em like that anymore," "When I was a kid........." or "Do they have an early bird special?" but Cathy knows-and shows-what they really mean.
Consider "What is she wearing?" "This ism is typically used to comment on the more radical fashions of the day," Hamilton writes, "including sheer tops, low-low rise jeans, and extreme body piercings. Many seniors conveniently forget this same ism was used by their elders."
Over-the-Hillisms captures quips on topics from reading glasses and VCRs to the younger generation and thriftiness, and spins them into right-on tongue-in-cheek truth.
Since the dawn of time, the peanut gallery has been driving their parents crazy-occasionally entertaining them-with the same phrases uttered over and over and over again. Kids are never neutral on any subject. Nor are they always understood. That's why Cathy Hamilton has written Kidisms, a book of kidspeak translations for the parentally challenged. It explains timeless phrases used by all children.
Are we there yet?
Children under the age of 25 have no concept of time, especially while traveling cross-country without the calming effects of an Enya CD or Auto Bingo. The average kid will ask this question every five to ten miles unless his parents can explain the estimated time of arrival in terms he can comprehend:
Okay, pay attention. We left our house at the beginning of Sesame Street and we need to drive through Blue's Clues, Barney, I Love Lucy, and The Gong Show. We won't arrive at the hotel until the end of Nick at Nite. Got it?"
Other gems translated for the first time:
* I know you are, but what am I?
* Where do babies come from?
* He started it!
* But Dad already said I could!
Those who suspect that their mothers and fathers took closely guarded secret courses instructing them on "the significance of enigmatic utterances" won't be surprised to learn there are indeed clandestine languages for parents. And here are the books that decipher them.
Finally, Dad's ambiguous responses like "Go ask your mother," cryptic commands such as "Don't make me pull this car over," and the puzzling question, "Do you think I'm made of money?" are explained in comic detail in this handy reference. And Mom's warnings, "Don't you ever let me catch you doing that again!"(implying that you can do it, I just don't want to find out about it) and probes, "Is that what you're going to wear?" are made clear. (Translation of the last Momism: "I wouldn't be caught DEAD in that outfit.")
Dadism and Momisms compile these silly turns of phrases handed down from time immemorial. Interpreted for the new century, each one is translated with tongue-in-cheek humor and insight.
The creator of Boyfriend-in-a-Box is back with a book that lays down the law, chapter and verse, for female relationships. Friendship between women is sacred. The Girlfriends' Bible is filled with hilarious "scriptures" that women can and do live by. What a divine way to tell your best gal pal how valuable that friendship is.
Women and girlfriends of all ages will find bits of inspirational encouragement on every page:
* "Yea, though you walk through the valley of cracked sidewalks in high heels, do not fear. For I will be there to pick you up when you fall on your ass."
* "When you are heavy laden with PMS poundage, I will take your burden for you and deny thy girth."
* "I shalt not steal your boyfriend, hairdo, or signature color."
* "When you get older, I shall forsake you not. For friends are like wine-the older, the better. You can get equally drunk with old or new wine. But intoxication with old wine is far more pleasurable."
* "If your cup runneth over because your bra is too small and you look like a common whore, I will tell you, just as you would tell me about a visible panty line."
The purpose of this book is to provide students with material related to the standards of midwifery education. The students will be able to use the contents of this text and relate it to their own approved programme of midwifery study, as their programme of study would have had to comply with NMC’s requirements. It will help student midwives appreciate how their own programmes have been designed, and why they are required to study and understand some of the subjects they are, or will be studying.
Picking up where Wonder Woman left off, Cathy Hamilton humorously celebrates the innate superhuman qualities of the 83 million women in the U.S. over 40.
In a fresh and humorous approach to the graphic novel, Hamilton's heroine rids the world of evil car mechanics, boomerang children, and department store perfume squirters one hot flash at a time.