Uno psicologo e un medico uniscono le proprie forze per affrontare una delle tendenze più allarmanti e fraintese del nostro tempo: i coetanei che prendono il posto dei genitori nella vita dei figli. Il dottor Neufeld ha dato a questo fenomeno il nome di “orientamento ai coetanei”, riferendosi con esso al fatto che bambini e ragazzi tendono a rivolgersi ai coetanei per avere indicazioni rispetto ai valori, al senso di ciò che è giusto o sbagliato, all’identità e ai codici di comportamento. Ma questo orientarsi ai coetanei deteriora la coesione familiare, impedisce un sano sviluppo del bambino, avvelena l’atmosfera scolastica, e favorisce la crescita di una cultura giovanile aggressiva, ostile e sessualizzata. Questo libro aiuta i genitori – insieme con gli insegnanti e gli operatori sociali – a comprendere la natura inquietante del fenomeno e fornisce soluzioni per ristabilire la giusta preminenza del legame spontaneo che unisce genitori e figli. I concetti, i princìpi, e i consigli pratici in esso contenuti daranno ai genitori il potere e la forza di essere per i propri figli ciò che la natura ha inteso: la fonte vera di contatto, sicurezza e calore.

Gordon Neufeld, PH.D., è psicologo clinico a Vancouver, e ha trascorso gran parte della sua vita professionale dedicandosi all’elaborazione di teorie coerenti in grado di spiegare l’evoluzione del bambino. È conosciuto in Canada per il suo lavoro sull’aggressività e la violenza fra i giovani e i bambini.
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 ♥ 能感受自己的情緒,才能察覺自己是否正處於壓力中。
 ♥ 能有效表達情緒,才能確認自己的需求和維護自己的心理界限完整。
 ♥ 能分辨自己的心理反應是否切合當下情境,還是反映了過去遺留的影響。我們的所欲所求應符合當下的需要,而不是從童年而來的無意識、未獲滿足的需求。如果過去和現在分野模糊,我們會在無損的地方誤以為自己有所損失,或以為自己面臨損失的風險。
 ♥ 能察覺真正該滿足的需求,不會為了得到接納或認可而壓抑自己。





☆ 深入探討壓力如何影響健康,剖析心理、壓力與身體的連動關係。

☆ 案例引人共鳴,全面解析患者的生命經歷、情緒感知與行為模式。

☆ 說明壓力反應的因素與生理機制

☆ 歸納出療癒自己的七A法則

In this timely and profoundly original new book, bestselling writer and physician Gabor Maté looks at the epidemic of addictions in our society, tells us why we are so prone to them and what is needed to liberate ourselves from their hold on our emotions and behaviours.

For over seven years Gabor Maté has been the staff physician at the Portland Hotel, a residence and harm reduction facility in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. His patients are challenged by life-threatening drug addictions, mental illness, Hepatitis C or HIV and, in many cases, all four. But if Dr. Maté’s patients are at the far end of the spectrum, there are many others among us who are also struggling with addictions. Drugs, alcohol, tobacco, work, food, sex, gambling and excessive inappropriate spending: what is amiss with our lives that we seek such self-destructive ways to comfort ourselves? And why is it so difficult to stop these habits, even as they threaten our health, jeopardize our relationships and corrode our lives?

Beginning with a dramatically close view of his drug addicted patients, Dr. Maté looks at his own history of compulsive behaviour. He weaves the stories of real people who have struggled with addiction with the latest research on addiction and the brain. Providing a bold synthesis of clinical experience, insight and cutting edge scientific findings, Dr. Maté sheds light on this most puzzling of human frailties. He proposes a compassionate approach to helping drug addicts and, for the many behaviour addicts among us, to addressing the void addiction is meant to fill.

I believe there is one addiction process, whether it manifests in the lethal substance dependencies of my Downtown Eastside patients, the frantic self-soothing of overeaters or shopaholics, the obsessions of gamblers, sexaholics and compulsive internet users, or in the socially acceptable and even admired behaviours of the workaholic. Drug addicts are often dismissed and discounted as unworthy of empathy and respect. In telling their stories my intent is to help their voices to be heard and to shed light on the origins and nature of their ill-fated struggle to overcome suffering through substance use. Both in their flaws and their virtues they share much in common with the society that ostracizes them. If they have chosen a path to nowhere, they still have much to teach the rest of us. In the dark mirror of their lives we can trace outlines of our own.
—from In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts
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