Christy and I have finally entered the social scene again…a Welcoming and Affirming church. She’s looking for a man. I’m looking for a lesbian. My wife of twenty-two years is now my BFF. I came out to her as a TransGender lesbian two years ago. She won’t touch me. She’s tried. Before we met she was raped by something that claimed to be a transgender lesbian. When I came to terms with myself I came out to her. Ever since, we can’t get intimate without her passing out. She needs a man…a real man. I love her enough to let her have him, whoever he is. I hope and pray she loves me enough to let me have my lesbian lover, whoever she is. Christy said she’s all for it. Is she? I don’t want to lose my BFF of twenty years. I don’t ask for much in life, just a happy marriage of four people who deeply love and respect each other, two of whom we’ve not yet met. Yeah. I’m screwed.
Music has only four genders: Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass. All four make sweet music together. I wish the world were like that. Gay men hit on me. I tell them I’m a TransLesbian. They say I’m a phobic straight scamming on lesbians. Would a sister treat me like that? Only the one I love.
Tale 1. Jack & The Reaper.
Jack the serial rapist uses a dog to sniff out ovulating women in the park. He meets his match, literally. This woman looks like his mother’s old photo. Then Jack meets the Grim Reaper. (Researching this story, it goes far beyond anything similar found.)
Tale 2. The Disorderly.
Garreth works in the nursing home where Mildred, his 92-year-old grandmother resides. One day he picks up one of the paperbacks Mildred loves. Flipping it open, it shocks him…not cause it’s smut, but because her need has invaded his fantasy.
Tale 3. The Casting Ouch.
Hopeful Starlet Vera Broad is given two choices. Lose the clothes and get the part, or go home empty handed. She’ll take the third option.
Tale 4. Two-Year Lease.
Terry’s mother-in-law’s Long Term Care has drained them. Luke, the richest, most eccentric tenant of the building Terry manages, hires Terry’s wife Sheila at his firm. An inspection condemns the building as an earthquake deathtrap. Luke has to move. Terry’s out of a job. Luke offers two million up front for a two-year lease on Terry’s master bedroom suite, including the marriage bed…with Sheila in it.
Tale 5. One Flesh.
The Great Rex, a Las Vegas telepath showman, ponders his wife’s intended affair. She and Rex are one flesh. Her lover would take her, Rex’s flesh, without Rex’s consent. That’s rape. For trying that, her lover gives up all his rights.
Waking up, Max remembers seeing lightning all over the club walls, then seeing Jesus. Somebody spiked his drink with ecstasy, and he died for fourteen minutes. It seemed like an eternity, as he got his assignment from the Lord. Max put up a big rainbow sign on the church and signed new gay friendly sponsors. He’s scheduled to preach the ‘Sermon Heard Round the World’. Since the death threats, ‘Deadly Dykes’ have provided armed protection. They’re the bikers with that slogan: ‘Mutilate this, bitch’.
It’s show time. “This two-hour special is brought to you by the TransGender Alliance. If you’re tired of pretending, give them a call. And now, let’s welcome Pastor Max.”
“Dearly Beloved, much of what we thought we knew, was not from God’s word.”
“This is a toxic relationship! You’re amazing, seductively interesting, and you’re hurting me!” Rick’s physics textbook doesn’t scream back at him, of course. “I can’t take any more headache meds for an hour.” He sets the book down carefully and runs down the hall, to go outside. He needs to focus on faraway mountains so the blazing pain in his eyes will fade a little. He’s stopped by a sound. Not just any sound, he peeks in the door and sees her moaning on the bed.
Cindy Calgrove is in a very revealing position, and very busy. Rick politely looks away. Her scream is primal. “Almost honor night and I’m behind again! Oh God, just gimme one more A plus, I need it NOW!” Everyone in the house knows her brain is exploding in bliss.
Blushing, Rick looks into the astonished face of his dear Scarlett. Pulling him down the hall, she whispers. “I wish you had that kind of scholastic passion.”
Through his headache, Rick teases her. “Be careful what you wish for. We eat and drink what they do. God only knows what’s in it.”
Eyebrows wiggling, Guillermo reminds them. “Your first honor night’s tomorrow. Don’t wanna miss that!”
Holy crap. Could this place get any weirder?