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Nick Whittier, having been alive for six centuries, has had plenty of time to master three professions. In a typical week he works as a police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers, pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick's three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his terrible secret.

Dark Moonlighting is the first book in the humorous series.  It explores four of the biggest clichés in popular culture, and it pokes fun at a number of popular television shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliché. For example, the average human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must immediately urinate afterwards.

 

The Dark Moonlighting Series:

Dark Moonlighting
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control
Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard
Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales
Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo

 

Keywords: vampires, american, satire, humor, werewolves, supernatural, dark comedy, funny, comedy, paranormal

Nick Whittier, the lovable vampire who has killed over 30,000
people, is back! He writes his latest tale from inside a shack in Montana where
he is hiding out from the authorities who are hunting him. Who was really
responsible for ruining his life in Starside, Illinois? Nick has uncovered the
truth… but he is not going to discuss it until after he tells the story of how
he killed Adolf Hitler.

Since he only feeds on terrible human beings,
Nick often had a hard time finding victims over the years. World War Two was the
worst military conflict in history, but for Nick it was a vacation. He happily
gorges himself on the despicable people who are goose-stepping all over Europe.
While the lesser Nazis are delicious, Nick’s ultimate goal is to drain the blood
out of Hitler, the worst human being who has ever lived. He gets distracted from
his hunt when he learns that the Nazis are developing a secret weapons program
that could turn the tide of the war. Nick reluctantly decides to intervene to
disrupt the program with the help of a young werewolf named Chuck Kruse.


Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control is the second book in the humorous
Dark Moonlighting series. While book one highlighted Nick’s work as a doctor,
lawyer and cop, book two tells about his career as a Nazi hunter. It explores
war clichés and pokes fun at modern hits like Captain America and Band of
Brothers in addition to classics like Hogan’s Heroes and Indiana Jones. It also
examines more vampire clichés as Nick tells about his early years as a creature
of the night in the 14th century.
 
The Dark Moonlighting Series:

Dark Moonlighting
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control
Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard
Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales
Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo
 
Keywords: vampires, werewolves, suspense, military, paranormal, comedy, satire
Nick Whittier has made a lot of mistakes over his nearly
seven centuries of existence. He has always tried to be a good person, or at
least as good as a vampire who has murdered over 30,000 people can be. He
learned about his most monumental screw up after Chuck Kruse’s stunning
revelation at the end of book two. Because of Nick’s actions during World War
Two, the Nazis have reemerged in the modern era. The most evil vampire who has
ever lived is rallying neo-Nazis all over the world as part of a plan for global
domination. Nick knows that it is up to him to intervene and end the Nazi threat
once and for all.

Laura Collins, a sexy Israeli secret agent, shows up
out of the blue to offer Nick assistance. The mysterious woman appears to be a
powerful ally, but she also has a dark secret. The first stop on their global
journey is to recruit Nick’s friends from Starside, Illinois to join the fight.
Jasmine, Anthony and Lara are essential to the mission, but they also complicate
Nick’s life. He is still in love with Lara even though she hates him for being a
monster. Despite the hardships that he faces, Nick is hopeful that he might be
able to change her mind about him. He now has the opportunity to end his thirst
for human blood. After centuries of research, he has finally perfected the cure
for the vampire virus.

Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark
Moonlighting Hard is the third book in the humorous Dark Moonlighting series.
While the previous books have highlighted Nick’s careers as a doctor, lawyer,
cop and soldier, book three tells of his job as a secret agent. It explores spy
clichés and pokes fun at popular movies like The Bourne Identity, Jurassic Park
and the James Bond films. It also satirizes political stories like The West Wing
and Air Force One.
 
The Dark Moonlighting Series:

Dark Moonlighting
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control
Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard
Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales
Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo
 


Keywords: vampires, werewolves, dark comedy, humor, satire, american,
dark fantasy, dinosaurs





This boxed set contains the first three novels of the
humorous Dark Moonlighting series in one convenient file.  The bundle contains Dark Moonlighting, Dark
Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control and Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark
Moonlighting Hard for one low price.



 



Description for the first book in the series:



 



Nick Whittier, having been alive for six centuries, has had
plenty of time to master three professions. In a typical week he works as a
police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and
drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he
restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in
Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers,
pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick’s
three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives
in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in
his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his
terrible secret.



 



Dark Moonlighting is the first book in the humorous
series.  It explores four of the biggest
clichés in popular culture, and it pokes fun at a number of popular television
shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more
realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliché. For example, the average
human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick
takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must
immediately urinate afterwards.

 

The Dark Moonlighting Series:

Dark Moonlighting
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control
Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard
Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales
Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo

 

 

Keywords: vampires,
american, bundle, humor, werewolves, World War II, dark comedy





This boxed set contains the last two novels of the humorous Dark
Moonlighting series in one convenient file. 
The bundle contains Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales and
Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo for one low price.



 



Book 4 Description:



 



Nick Whittier has mastered a lot of different professions
during his nearly seven centuries of existence. Now the lovable vampire is
tasked with the most important job that he has ever had.  When aliens attack Earth, it is up to Nick
and his friends to defeat them. He has killed over 30,000 people to quench his
thirst for human blood, but many more will die because of the decisions he
makes as President of the United States. The odds are stacked against humanity,
and Nick’s latest job could be his last.



Dark Moonlighting 4: The One
with the Whales is the fourth book in the humorous Dark Moonlighting series. It
explores science fiction clichés and pokes fun at popular movies and television
shows like Independence Day, Star Trek, Signs, Battleship and Doctor Who.



 



 



Book 5 Description:



 



Nick Whittier, the lovable vampire who has murdered over
30,000 people, returns in this exciting conclusion to the Dark Moonlighting
series.  He has had many jobs over his
nearly seven centuries of existence, but now he faces his most important
challenge.  The zombie apocalypse is at
hand, and it is up to Nick and his friends to save humanity.  Who will live? 
Who will die?  Will Nick finally
be cured of the vampire virus?  What
caused the zombie outbreak?  Does asking
a bunch of questions in the book description really encourage readers to buy it? 



 



Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo is the
fifth book in the humorous Dark Moonlighting series.  It explores zombie clichés and pokes fun at
popular movies and television shows like Dawn of the Dead and The Walking Dead.





The Dark Moonlighting Series:





Dark Moonlighting

Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control

Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard

Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales

Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo

 

 

Keywords: vampires, werewolves, humor, zombies, aliens, superhero, post-apocalyptic



A note for conservative readers: Don't read this book.  It's just going to make you mad, and I don't want to make you mad.  I'm a pretty nice guy.  I just wanted to write a silly story to make my liberal friends laugh.  The plot is outlandish, and it's filled with exaggerated stereotypes and crazy descriptions of conservatives that have no basis in reality.  It was not designed to be accurate or to be taken seriously.  Life's too short to get all worked up over this ridiculous book.  If you're a conservative, I implore you to skip this and go read something you'll actually like.  Or turn on the TV and watch a rerun of Seinfeld.  Everybody likes Seinfeld, right?

From the author of the popular Dark Moonlighting series:

Abraham Lincoln once said, "A house divided against itself cannot stand."
Senator Nick Bennett believes that it should not stand. Disgusted with partisan
politics, Nick calls for America to be split up by political ideology. The idea
of living in separate utopias is wildly popular with Americans. The blue states
form the Progressive States of America and the red states create the United
States of Ronald Reagan. The two new governments are free to address foreign
relations, economic policies and social laws without the interference of an
opposition party.

While the P.S.A. thrives, the U.S.R.R. is crippled by
the inanity of its conservative ideology. A generation of its citizens receives
a terrible education and loses the right to privacy. Many are killed either by
an abhorrent health care system or the preemptive wars their government starts.
The dreadful conditions inside the U.S.R.R. enrage the conservative citizens.
Revolution seems inevitable, and the conflict threatens to engulf the liberal
country as well.

Abraham Lincoln's Lie contains political and social
satire and is intended for a liberal audience.  The novel takes a humorous look
at how fiercely debated ideas could actually be implemented by the two
ideologies.

 

Keywords: civil rights, dystopian, liberal, dark comedy, humor, satire, American

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