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What I feel has no name...

Suanne Laqueur's award-winning debut novel The Man I Love thrilled readers with its memorable characters and depth of emotion. Erik Fiskare's journey of love, recovery and forgiveness captivated hearts but also left questions unanswered. Now Daisy Bianco has a chance to tell her story.

It's been three years since a single lapse of judgment cost Daisy the love of her life. Erik was a conduit to her soul but now he's chosen a path of total disconnection, refusing to speak to her or acknowledge her betrayal. Alone and shattered, Daisy attempts to take responsibility for her actions while building her career as a professional dancer in New York City. But Erik's unforgiving estrangement proves too much for her strength. Plagued by flashbacks to the Lancaster shootings, she falls into a dangerous spiral of self-harm, cutting into her own skin as a means to atone. Only the timely appearance of an old friend, John "Opie" Quillis, saves her from self-destruction and gives her a chance to love again.

Laqueur skillfully weaves flashbacks to the college years with Daisy's present life. Supported by John's patient affection, she works to separate her evolution as an adult from the unresolved guilt and grief of her youth. As her professional accomplishments lift her out of depression, Daisy learns to hold onto her accountability without letting it become her identity. Years pass and she builds a beautiful life filled with dance and friends. Lovers come and eventually go, leaving her on her own with the old thought: Come back to me.

In this parallel narrative, Laqueur peels open the beloved characters from The Man I Love to reveal new and complex layers of vulnerability. The scars from the shooting are deep and pervasive within this circle of friends. Like Daisy, they are trying to evolve without being fully resolved. But when questions from the past go unheeded, you alone must find and give your answers true.

The Man I Love

Book 1

"A watershed moment exists in every man's life, Fish—the moment when you stop being your mother's son and start being your lover's man. When you transition from protected to protector."

Erik "Fish" Fiskare is only a college junior when a gunman walks into the campus theater, intent on stopping the show. From the lighting booth, Fish sees his girlfriend, Marguerite "Daisy" Bianco, get caught in the line of fire. Everyone runs away from the stage but Fish, in a watershed moment, runs toward it.

Spanning fifteen years, The Man I Love explores how a single act of violence reverberates through a circle of friends. At the center are Fish and Daisy, two soul mates who always brought out the best in each other. Both are hailed as heroes after the shooting, yet the tragedy starts to bring out the worst in them, tearing the circle apart.

Soon, Fish is running again—not toward Daisy this time, but as far away as possible. But can you really leave the one you were born to love? And is leaving always the end of loving?

"You never got over her, Fish. You just left. You may think that's closure, but it isn't. You may think a woman like Daisy comes along twice in a lifetime, but she doesn't."

Fearlessly touching on today's social and mental health issues, The Man I Love follows Erik Fiskare's journey back to the truth of himself and a woman he can't forget. With its gripping story and an unforgettable cast of characters, this epic novel of love and forgiveness lingers long after the last page is turned.

"A new kind of romance, well-crafted and intelligently written. Suanne Laqueur deftly explores what it means to be vulnerable, resilient and human."

"A compelling, heartfelt, intense read. The Man I Love raises important and tough social topics that are relevant and timely."

"An intelligent, perfectly-pitched modern romance. NOT your typical boy meets girl, but a story of first love and how people handle extreme situations."

"The Man I Love looks love, sex, depression and PTSD in the face and calls them by name. An astounding journey of forgiveness and recovery."

"Laqueur combines the dynamics of a circle of friends with a school shooting. The result is The Man I Love, a gripping, angsty psychological romance that explores second chances at first love. Book clubs will find plenty to discuss in this coming-of-age emotional journey of forgiveness and recovery. The characters are flawlessly crafted and deserving of love after tragedy. You'll be thinking about them long after you've finished."

"From university to adulthood, through love and loss, devotion and betrayal, estrangement and forgiveness, the Fish Tales series will bring you on an emotional journey of love and truth."

Here to Stay

Book 3

"You can't sort of do this, Fish. Draw a line and get on one side or the other... " Love is never so sweet as when it receives a second chance. In the sequel to her award-winning novelThe Man I Love, Suanne Laqueur continues the story of Erik Fiskare's romance with Daisy Bianco. Though separated for twelve years, the extraordinary bond forged in their youth has endured. But when your soulmate has caused you indescribable pain, how easy is it to forgive? How much trust is needed to place your heart back into the hands that once broke it? How much faith does it take to ask the question, "Do you still want me?" and believe in the reply: "I still want us."

Erik and Daisy commit to creating a new life together. They are separated by geography, loyal to career commitments and burdened with lingering pain from a decade spent apart. Yet despite the challenges, Erik knows Daisy is the best thing to happen to him twice.

Slowly Erik earns back Daisy's love as well as the trust of his incomparable friend, Will Kaeger. Both relationships grow deeper and more complex, as do Erik's ties to the past. Unexpected contact with distant cousins offers new insight to the cruel childhood desertion that shaped so much of Erik's adult life. With Daisy at his side, he travels back to his hometown to meet his people, explore his family's history and learn about the men who wore his heirloom necklace before him.

The cathedral once burned down is rebuilt. But a love affair is never a finished thing. Life is never without its tragedies. Daisy and Erik soon face a threat more harrowing than gunfire, more sorrowful than the lost years. With Will at his back and family close by, Erik must fight for the things he once walked away from and prove his love is here to stay.

An Exaltation of Larks

Book 1

"We're so alike, you and I. It's no wonder we kept finding each other."
September 11, 1973: Eleven-year-old Alejandro Penda watches from his apartment window as Santiago, Chile falls to a military coup, destroying his family and his childhood. Arriving alone in America, he’s taken in by the Larks: a prominent family in the town of Guelisten. Though burdened by unresolved grief for his disappeared parents, he becomes fiercely loyal to the Larks, eventually marrying one of their daughters, Valerie.

September 11, 2001: Javier Landes watches from his apartment window as New York City falls to terrorism. As one of Manhattan’s top-paid male escorts, this professional lover has never lacked for company and is loyal only to himself. But in the wake of 9/11, Jav is named guardian for an orphaned nephew in Guelisten and must open his carefully-guarded heart to pain he's long suppressed.

Alex, Valerie and Jav meet first in their twenties, with a sudden attraction each finds strange and compelling. When they meet again in their forties, they discover not only is their bond still strong, but their life experiences are strangely similar. All have been shaped by separate 9/11's, and their unfinished business from the past will change everything they know about love, loyalty and friendship.

"Life has rules. You cannot come in the middle of the night and take what we agreed isn't yours."

Across three decades and two continents, Suanne Laqueur's fifth novel explores the unpredictability of sexual attraction, how family ties are forged, torn and mended, and how love's downfall can turn to exaltation.

The Ones That Got Away: A Collection of Lost Fish Tales

Book 4

Plenty of fish in the sea. But none like the ones that got away.

Author Suanne Laqueur gives her readers an intimate, guided tour of the award-winning novel, The Man I Love. From the embryonic chapters written over twenty years ago to scenes cut from the final draft, you’ll witness the crafting of an emotional journey and the evolution of the beloved characters within The Fish Tales.

Includes never-before-seen material and an excerpt from Laqueur’s next novel, An Exaltation of Larks.

A Charm of Finches

Book 2

From the author of The Fish Tales comes the long-awaited second book in the Venery series. A Charm of Finches follows Javier Landes as he retires from escorting and invites love to be his friend. He meets an art therapist named Steffen Finch and what starts as casual deepens into a passionate relationship—everything Jav has ever wanted, and everything he fears losing.
Stef’s business card reads Curator & Sailor. His creativity and insightful nature have made him into a talented therapist, the one to call for tough cases. His professional success can’t conceal a deep need to connect with someone, but Javier Landes is the last person Stef expected.

Geronimo "Geno" Caan is Stef's most challenging case. To cope with his ordeal, he's allowed an alter-ego called Mos to make decisions, and now lives a double life within a web of lies. Under Stef’s navigation, Geno uses art to express what Mos forbids to be spoken aloud. But as Geno’s attachment to Stef gradually extends to Jav, the boundaries between professional and personal begin to blur.

Over the course of a year, Jav, Stef and Geno form an unexpected and unconventional triangle, revealing how men make love in times of war and how love is a great wisdom made up of small understandings. A Charm of Finches is an epic tale of survival and secrets guaranteed to make you think and feel and remember.

The Voyages of Trueblood Cay: Being an especial accounting of his life and times at sea, as told by Gil Rafael

Suanne Laqueur

Pelippé Trueblood is a giantsblood—one of the great mariners of House Tru. Raised on the mighty ship Cay, he’s chosen at nineteen for a perilous voyage predicted in ancient prophecy. Young and unseasoned, Trueblood fears the gods may have picked the wrong man for the job. Worse, prophecy demands he be accompanied by Fen il-Kheir, and nothing in Trueblood's life at sea has prepared him for this dangerous new crew member.Fen is a kheiron—a creature with the ability to shift between man and horse. With a dark past, little love for humans and less love for ships, Fen proves a reluctant passenger whose secrets about Trueblood could jeopardize not only the voyage, but the future of the world.

A feud of the gods. Ships built by giants. Spice that makes the world beautiful. Flying horses. Murder and misery. Belonging and bravery. Sailors, centaurs, warriors, queens, courtesans and storytellers. A tapestry of mythology and human experience, The Voyages of Trueblood Cay is both Javier Landes’ love letter to his life, and Suanne Laqueur’s most adventurous love story.

The Fish Tales: Complete 4-Book Set: The Man I Love/Give Me Your Answer True/Here to Stay/The Ones That Got Away

Suanne Laqueur

Spanning fifteen years, Suanne Laqueur's award-winning series follows a young man's emotional journey back to the truth of himself and a woman he can't forget.

The Man I Love
The man is Erik "Fish" Fiskare, a student of technical theatre at a Philadelphia university. At twenty-two, he is the lover and soul mate of Daisy Bianco, a beautiful and talented ballerina. His best friend is William Kaeger, Daisy's charismatic, free-spirited partner.
While deeply in love with Daisy and astonished by their physical passion, Erik is fascinated by Will's bisexuality. But when Will embarks on a disastrous affair, it pushes Erik's tolerance and trust to the limit. The young stagehand soon discovers that in the face of heartache, grief and betrayal, love is not always enough to make you stay. And sometimes, it's the only thing that can bring you back.

Give Me Your Answer True
In The Man I Love, Erik Fiskare's journey of love, recovery and forgiveness captivated hearts but also left questions unanswered. Now Daisy Bianco has a chance to tell her story.
It's been three years since a single lapse of judgment cost Daisy the love of her life. While building her career as a professional dancer in New York City, she must separate her evolution as an adult from the unresolved guilt and grief of her youth. Years pass and she builds a beautiful life filled with dance and friends. Lovers come and eventually go, leaving her on her own with the old thought: Come back to me.

Here to Stay
Love is never so sweet as when it receives a second chance. In the sequel to her award-winning novelThe Man I Love, Suanne Laqueur continues the story of Erik Fiskare's romance with Daisy Bianco. Though separated for twelve years, the extraordinary bond forged in their youth has endured. But when your soulmate has caused you indescribable pain, how easy is it to forgive? How much faith does it take to ask the question, "Do you still want me?" and believe in the reply: "I still want us."

Erik and Daisy commit to creating a new life together. They are separated by geography, loyal to career commitments and burdened with lingering pain from a decade spent apart. Yet despite the challenges, Erik knows Daisy is the best thing to happen to him twice.

The Ones That Got Away
Author Suanne Laqueur gives her readers an intimate, guided tour of the award-winning novel, The Man I Love. From the embryonic chapters written over twenty years ago to scenes cut from the final draft, you'll witness the crafting of an emotional journey and the evolution of the beloved characters within The Fish Tales.

Tales from Cushman Row: A Compendium of Love

Suanne Laqueur

"Come here, you moron."

For fans of the Venery series, author Suanne Laqueur offers a compendium of love scenes—unpublished chapters, character sketches and assorted reflections about Javier Landes and Steffen Finch. A treat to skim through, skip around and linger over at leisure. Like caviar.

For people who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they will like. Contains adults in adult situations using adult language and a f**k-ton of gratuitous boning. No socks required. Batteries sold separately.