A literary tribute to the last earthly frontier - the ocean.
“Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine
When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it.
In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives.
Readers Guide Inside
A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from Aziz Ansari, the star of Master of None and one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices
At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?”
But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.
For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.
In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.
Purl one . . . But with a little help from her friends, and her beloved Gran, Jo is building a new life for herself by the sea, stitch by stitch. Warm and witty, Knit One Pearl One will delight new readers to the Beach Street series and give the legions of existing fans a chance to visit the British seaside again, without having to worry about the weather.
But with Molly's conniving brother running the family hotel nearby, the return of a high school flame with ulterior motives, and three sons whose idea of a new country life seems to involve vast quantities of mud, this is not going to be easy. And then Harrington Hall begins to work its magic, and the roses start to bloom...
Warm, witty, and chock-full of quintessential British charm, A GOOD YEAR FOR THE ROSES is a story for anyone who has ever dreamed of starting over...with or without bacon.
A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat
People I want to punch in the throat:
• anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer
• people who treat their pets like children
Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book.
Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat
“People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
“Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes
“Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves
“Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine.").
Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
A year after her husband's death, Jo Mackenzie is finally starting to get the hang of being a single parent.
Knit two together ...
The boys are thriving in their new seaside home, the wool shop is starting to do well and despite two weddings, an in-school knitting project and Trevor the Wonder Dog coming to stay, she's just about keeping her head above water.
Cast off ...
But boys, babies and best friends certainly make life a lot more interesting. Can Jo cope when things get really complicated? Because if knitting truly does keep you sane when your life starts to unravel then it looks like Jo is going to need much bigger needles.
Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies."
Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so hes' now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat.
From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists").
Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.
Alice Mayhew, part-time architect and full-time mother to Alfie, is to gardening what Alan Titchmarsh is to deep-sea fishing. So finding she's been volunteered to design a new garden for the village comes as a bit of a shock, because apart from anything else she's far too busy trying to convince Alfie that wearing green trousers doesn't make you Peter Pan, and that flying is best left to the experts. Molly O'Brien is finding it hard enough coping with Lily (aged four and likes washing up) and Matt (aged thirty two and doesn't) before she discovers she's pregnant. And then there's Lola Barker, who causes havoc wherever she goes, and brings a whole new meaning to the word high-maintenance.
Toddlers, jelly, bad behaviour, romance and gardening tips all loom large in Gil McNeil's hilarious and heartbreaking new novel. Stand By Your Man turns prejudices and assumptions upside down with humour and passion, telling it like it really is. Sometimes it's hard to be a woman...
There is nothing more wonderful than a mother’s love. There is also nothing more annoying. Who else can proudly insist that you’re perfect while simultaneously making you question every career, fashion, and relationship decision you have ever made?
No one understands the delicate mother-daughter dynamic better than Kate Siegel—her own mother drove her so crazy that she decided to broadcast their hilarious conversations on Instagram. Soon, hundreds of thousands of people were following their daily text exchanges, eager to see what outrageous thing Kate’s mom would do next. Now, in Mother, Can You NOT?, Kate pays tribute to the woman who invented the concept of drone parenting.
From embarrassing moments (like crashing Kate's gynecological exams) to outrageous stories (like the time she made Kate steal a cat from the pound) to hilarious celebrations (including but not limited to parties for Kate's menstrual cycles), Mother, Can you NOT? lovingly lampoons the lengths to which our mothers will go to better our lives (even if it feels like they’re ruining them in the process).
Two weddings and a year after her husband's funeral, Jo Mackenzie is finally starting to get the hang of being a single parent. The boys are thriving, the yarn shop is doing well--thanks to Jo's improvements--and she's just about keeping her head above water. Knit two together . . .
But a man from Jo's past and a new romance with the hunky local carpenter come along and make life a whole lot more interesting. Cast off . . .
Can Jo cope when things get really complicated? Because if knitting really does keep you sane when life starts to unravel, Jo's going to need much bigger needles.
Jo Mackenzie needs a new start and jumps at the chance to take over her grandmother's wool shop in a small seaside town.
But it's not going to be easy with two young sons to cope with, an A-list actress moving into the local mansion and a knitting group addicted to cake.
Stitch and Bitch!
Gil McNeil's funny and uplifting novel turns prejudices and assumptions upside down, telling it how it really is in the world of knit-one, purl-one.
One of BookRiot's Must-Read Books from Indie Presses for 2014
One of Flavorwire's 50 Best Independent Fiction and Poetry Books of 2014
"You Have to F***ing Eat makes parents of picky eaters smile."
"Adam Mansbach...will delight exhausted and exasperated parents everywhere for a second time with You Have to F**king Eat--another children's book that is most definitely not for children."
"An equally hilarious ode to kids at the table."
"Parents, Adam Mansbach gets you. He understood that sometimes your kids just won't go the f**k to sleep. And, in his new foulmouthed bedtime book for parents out Wednesday, he understands that sometimes they just won't f**king eat. And he knows, well, it's really f**king annoying. So how about some f**king comic relief?"
"A likeable variation on a universal f***ing theme."
"A hilarious sendup of the eternal fight between kids and their parents over what to eat and when--if at all."
--New York Journal of Books
"If you're a frustrated parent with a picky child, or even just one who appreciates 'deranged' humor, especially humor that rhymes, this is a terrific read for you...Parents will enjoy a good chuckle and subtle reminder that everything is better, including parenthood, if tackled with a little bit of humor."
--San Francisco Book Review
"You Have to F**cking Eat, Sequel to Go the F**k to Sleep, Is Finally F**king Coming...It will arrive just in time to gift it to your brother-in-law, who, upon unwrapping it, will clutch it immediately to his chest and shake his head furiously at his waist-high daughter as she claws at him with her chewed up nails. 'No, no, it's not for you,' he'll say, laughing and crying at the same time."
"An uproarious spoof of bedtime board books."
--San Francisco Chronicle
"A 21st-century bedtime story for the ages (and all ages) if there ever was one."
--Bay Area Reporter
"Parents, when your precious angel rips you from your three hours of sleep to demand food that he won't actually eat, you'll want this f'ing book."
"Forthcoming new book by genius funnyman Adam Mansbach."
"Mansbach freely, fabulously curses out the uncensored truth; Brozman makes sure you'll recognize your irresistible, equitably diverse mini-mes with those all-too-familiar expressions, from utter disdain to overwhelming trust and every little eyeball roll in between."
--BookDragon/Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Center
"If your kid has never presented you with some new mind-boggling preference at mealtime, I suspect you're lying."
"This book is genius. It is what every parent is thinking when their child refuses dinner."
--Old School/New School Mom
"With this soon-to-be crude classic, Adam Mansbach has nailed it with his undeniable animal/child comparisons all cozily complimented by Owen Brozman's humorous illustration--we dare you not to giggle into your eggnog."
"Illustrations are just as enjoyable and the narrative again paints the perfect picture."
From the author of the international best seller Go the F*** to Sleep comes a long-awaited sequel about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to F***ing Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads new, old, grand- and expectant, a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem.
A perfect gift book like the smash hit Go the F*** to Sleep (over 1.5 million copies sold worldwide!), You Have to F***ing Eat perfectly captures Mansbach's trademark humor, which is simultaneously affectionate and radically honest. You probably shouldn't read it to your kids.
Translated into more than fifty languages, Cheaper by the Dozen is the unforgettable story of the Gilbreth clan as told by two of its members. In this endearing, amusing memoir, siblings Frank Jr. and Ernestine capture the hilarity and heart of growing up in an oversized family.
Mother and Dad are world-renowned efficiency experts, helping factories fine-tune their assembly lines for maximum output at minimum cost. At home, the Gilbreths themselves have cranked out twelve kids, and Dad is out to prove that efficiency principles can apply to family as well as the workplace.
The heartwarming and comic stories of the jumbo-size Gilbreth clan have delighted generations of readers, and will keep you and yours laughing for years.
This ebook features an illustrated biography including rare photos from the authors’ estates.
If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck’s timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life.
Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart.
The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck’s take on the unforgiving frontier of American suburbia.
One dirty pup. One friendly missionary.
When the two meet, a bond is formed. The missionary takes the puppy home and cleans him up. The pup loves his new home and master, but he still loves playing in the mud! He is torn between obeying his master and doing what he thinks is fun. Then one day his fun gets him into a heap of trouble! Can the little pup be saved? Will his master rescue him?
Sin and salvation. Repentance and forgiveness. Children will learn about these important biblical concepts through the fully illustrated, TRUE story of a naughty pup and a loving master in The Prodigal Pup.
comedy = tragedy + time/rosé
Twenty-seven-year-old Nora McInerny Purmort bounced from boyfriend to dopey “boyfriend” until she met Aaron—a charismatic art director and comic-book nerd who once made Nora laugh so hard she pulled a muscle. When Aaron was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer, they refused to let it limit their love. They got engaged on Aaron’s hospital bed and had a baby boy while he was on chemo. In the period that followed, Nora and Aaron packed fifty years of marriage into the three they got, spending their time on what really matters: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, each other, and Beyoncé. A few months later, Aaron died in Nora’s arms. The obituary they wrote during Aaron’s hospice care revealing his true identity as Spider-Man touched the nation. With It’s Okay to Laugh, Nora puts a young, fresh twist on the subjects of mortality and resilience. What does it actually mean to live your “one wild and precious life” to the fullest? How can a joyful marriage contain more sickness than health? How do you keep going when life kicks you in the junk? In this deeply felt and deeply funny memoir, Nora gives her readers a true gift—permission to struggle, permission to laugh, permission to tell the truth and know that everything will be okay. It’s Okay to Laugh is a love letter to life, in all its messy glory; it reads like a conversation with a close friend, and leaves a trail of glitter in its wake.
This book is for people who have been through some shit.
This is for people who aren’t sure if they’re saying or doing the right thing (you’re not, but nobody is). This is for people who had their life turned upside down and just learned to live that way. For people who have laughed at a funeral or cried in a grocery store. This is for everyone who wondered what exactly they’re supposed to be doing with their one wild and precious life. I don’t actually have the answer, but if you find out, will you text me?
Sarah gave up a successful career in business to serve the country. A passionate campaigner for women and children, she mobilised over a million people through her early adoption of Twitter.
If you've ever wondered what it's like to pack for a photo call with supermodels or pause a speech in front of hundreds when the autocue fails, it's all here - from what to do when the school play clashes with a visit to the White House to what it feels like to support the man you love as he takes tough decisions to stave off global financial meltdown...
Intimate, reflective, surprising and funny, Behind the Black Door takes us backstage to reveal what it's like to be an ordinary woman, wife and mother in extraordinary circumstances.
In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t.
If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years?
When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere.
I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier.
Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection.
My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context.
But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation.
I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower.
The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization.
I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.
If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club.
I know why some animals eat their young.
In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions.
Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store.
As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood?
STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS!
I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me.
I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business.
I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.
for you! Let the stories of Alexa, Regina, and Lauren convince you in
this humorous romantic comedy saga that it is "Never Too Late” to find
romance and love.
DESCRIPTION: Sex therapist, Dr. Regina Logan, can fix everyone's love life but her own. Her dating moves always go public, and men flee before they ever even get to her bed. Nice guy and widower, Ben Kaiser, is drawn to passionate Regina and determined to be the one man who toughs out the bad press. Unfortunately, Regina's negative publicity threatens the livelihoods of the very people Ben most cares about.
Hardworking Kansas City rapper Mac Lethal has a problem, and its name is Bennett. His wannabe gangsta cousin is seventeen, uses drugs and foul language, claims to be 13 percent black, and swears he speaks "da female language." (Strangely that last one sort of seems true.)
But as different as they are, when Bennett and his mom lose their home, Mac’s got their backs. They’re family after all. Sure, it takes patience to live with the eternally smoked-out Bennett and the pill-popped Aunt Lily, but he can handle it.
You know who can’t? Mac’s very pretty, very WASPy, very uptight girlfriend. So as his once-peaceful household gets completely crazy, Mac learns that wanna-be-Crips are thicker than water, that his little cousin—flawed, irreverent, and basically a Saturday morning cartoon gone horribly wrong—has become his mentor, and that he really has no idea what’s up with girls.
Praise for Sh*tty Mom:
“A totally hilarious and uncensored look at some of the impossible situations we mothers find ourselves in.” —TheBump.com
“Smartly, brashly, nearly criminally funny. It also—no small thing—carries a powerful message to all parents, but especially moms, that distilled to its essence is this: chill.” —Time.com
“As the attachment parenting craze has hit a zenith in American culture, four very funny moms—comedy writers, TV producers, and a novelist—blast open a long-locked safe filled with frustrations faced by all modern mothers, with sympathetic and sharp humor. . . . The authors’ unfiltered candor is a welcome reminder for readers that they're not alone. . . .” —Publishers Weekly starred review
“Both funny and practical.” —Brooklyn Based.net
"Hilariously entertaining. A must-read survivor's guide for every mother!"
--Christy Turlington Burns, founder of Every Mother Counts
“Finally, Sh*tty Mom does for motherhood what Chelsea Handler does for female scatology. It’s a long overdue little burst of honesty from the supposed minority of mothers who are, in fact, not that maternal. . . . After a generation of supermoms one-upping each other in dead earnest on playgrounds and schoolyards, the emerging mass appeal of Sh*tty Mom is a welcome relief.” —The New York Observer
"Witty, wise, and wicked! With tongue planted firmly in cheek, these savvy moms dispense some much needed comic relief about raising kids in our crazy culture."?
--Dr. Harvey Karp, bestselling author of The Happiest Baby on the Block
“The most inappropriate parenting book I've ever read. Loved it. The perfect book for any mother who wants to laugh instead of cry at those cringe-worthy moments and the universal indignities we experience on a daily basis.”
--Jessica Seinfeld, bestselling cookbook author and founder of Baby Buggy
“An antidote to the hostage situation that is modern parenting…subversive, delicious, and spit-out-your-latte funny.”
--Pamela Druckerman, bestselling author of Bringing Up Bebe
The text is centred on five case studies, sufficiently different in nature to address the most common research methodologies. Each case study is linked with a specific research question that will be used to illustrate the research process throughout the rest of the book. Topics covered in the book include:Design and Planning, including a literature search, a discussion of different sorts of data, practical and feasibility issues, research ethics and developing a research proposal. Conducting research, including the submission of ethics proposals and responding to feedback, collecting data and dealing with the problems and challenges of analysing data. Dissemination of findings, an overview of the different types of papers, with examples listed and other methods of disseminating findings discussed, such as conference presentations and the use of social media.
Throughout, issues of common difficulty or confusion are highlighted and activities are provided for readers to consider and apply the information discussed further. Additional reading sections and summaries are also provided at the end of each chapter. This book is essential reading for advanced students in Forensic Psychology, as well as trainees and practitioners within relevant forensic psychology organisations.
With this lighthearted, month-by-month instruction manual on the care and nurture of a pregnant wife—the main role of expectant dads—he'll handle all the important milestones and topics: what not to say during the three phases of labor; what to buy, how many, and when; maintaining work-life balance; maintaining work-life-wife balance.
New features in What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding include: The minefield: the wrong gifts for your pregnant wife Social media pregnancy etiquette: status update! Eight reasons why not to pick out maternity clothes
What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding also features the latest trends! Festive gender-reveal parties. (Really!) Updated baby name guide, including Twitter hash tags. Cloth diapers: The debate is back!
In this highly anticipated new book, beloved author Jen Hatmaker parlays her own triumphs and tragedies into a sigh of relief for all normal, fierce women everywhere. Whether it’s the time she drove to the wrong city for a fourth-grade field trip (“Why are we in San Antonio?”) or the way she learned to forgive (God was super clear: Pray for this person every day, which was the meanest thing He ever said to me. I was furious.), she offers a reminder to those of us who sometimes hide in the car eating crackers that we do have the moxie to get back up and get back out. We can choose to live undaunted “in the moment” no matter what the moments hold, and lead vibrant, courageous, grace-filled lives.
In her debut memoir, actress and comedian Jen Kirkman delves into her off-camera life with the same snarky sensitivity and oddball humor she brings to her sold-out standup shows and the Chelsea Lately roundtable, where she is a writer and regular performer. As a woman of a certain age who has no desire to start a family, Jen often finds herself confronted (by friends, family, and total strangers) about her decision to be “childfree by choice.” I Can Barely Take Care of Myself offers honest and hilarious responses to questions like “Who will take care of you when you get old?” (Servants!) and a peek into the psyche—and weird and wonderful life—of a woman who has always marched to the beat of a different drummer and is pretty sure she’s not gonna change her mind, but thanks for your concern.
Written and edited by an international range of experts from the UK, North America and Australasia, it provides clear advice on a range of assessments, from psychometric tests to personality functioning, and includes real-life examples to illustrate key points. Uniquely, the book also offers guidance on the range of different client groups that forensic psychologists work with across both civil and legal contexts, including juveniles, female clients, couples and those with cognitive impairments. From core principles to writing style to key issues, each chapter also includes a checklist of advice and further reading.
Comprehensive and practical, The Forensic Psychologist’s Reporting Writing Guide is a user-friendly companion to this critical and often overlooked skill, and will be essential reading for both neophyte and experienced forensic psychologists alike.
"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."
Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend.
"You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.
I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.
Please note that due to the large file size of these special features this enhanced e-book may take longer to download then a standard e-book.
When she began writing her regular newspaper column in 1965, Erma Bombeck’s goal was to make housewives laugh. Thirty years later, she had published more than four thousand columns, and earned countless laughs—from housewives, presidents, and everyone in between.
With grace, good humor, and razor-sharp prose, she gently skewered every aspect of the American family. This collection holds the best of her columns—not just her famous quips, but also the heartbreaking observations that gave her writing such weight. In 1969, Erma wrote: “screaming kids, unpaid bills, green leftovers, husbands behind newspapers, basketballs in the bathroom. They’re real . . . they’re warm . . . they’re the only bit of normalcy left in this cockeyed world, and I’m going to cling to it like life itself.”
With what Publishers Weekly calls her “infectious sense of human absurdity,” Erma Bombeck’s writing remains a timeless examination of the still-cockeyed world. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.
‘This is men,’ said Gran. ‘When they vant you, but you don’t vant them, they stay. But let them know you vant them, they no longer need you, and they go! It’s like that movie, Nanny McPhee.’
Natalie Love has worked hard to have it all. She runs a successful London theatre that's about to host one of Hollywood's leading stars, Ryan Harrison. She’s pretty sure she’s found her man in yoga boyfriend Benjamin, despite his annoying habit of saying Namaste! every time he speaks. And her eccentric, glamorous Hungarian Gran is always on hand to offer sage advice and steaming bowls of goulash.
Life in the bright lights of London has always been Natalie's escape from her chaotic country family in rural Devon and Jamie, the childhood sweetheart she left at the altar fifteen years ago. Until he turns up at her theatre door...
Jamie is in town producing a West End show and with rivalry suddenly clouding old feelings, this isn’t quite the reunion Natalie was expecting.
Will Benjamin prove to be Natalie’s perfect match? With Ryan turning her head, Natalie is more confused than ever. And what about Jamie – could he be her second chance at first love?
Charming, hilarious and totally unputdownable, Miss Wrong and Mr Right will put a huge smile on your face and keep you guessing who Natalie’s ‘Mr Right’ is until the very last page.
What people are saying about Miss Wrong and Mr Right:
‘I just love Robert Bryndza's writing. He creates great characters and the funniest situations which could well have you laughing aloud! For all its humour, there is a lot of emotion in this book too…I felt that these were totally believable characters who I'd love to read more about and many of the funny situations could actually happen.’ Portobello Book Blog
‘When it comes to writing about family life and all the palava, Robert does this very well. They feel like real people…He writes great romantic comedy that you want to read again and again.’ Books and Authors UK
‘I found myself smiling continually…Robert Bryndza brings a wonderful turn of phrase to some of this characters, and Natalie's Hungarian gran is a real tonic, and one of my favourite characters…some of what she comes out with will have you laughing your head off…an excellent romantic comedy.’ Rachel’s Random Reads
‘One of my favourite things about Robert’s writing is how he creates these bold, hilarious and massively entertaining characters…When I had Miss Wrong and Mr Right in my bookish hands I was PROPERLEY LAUGHING. His writing is just so funny, yet natural at the same time which I think is all part of its appeal.’ Bookaholic Confessions
Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole.
When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing.
In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
When it comes to scoring on the side, this book is your best friend.
Comedians Bill Burr, Joe DeRosa, and Robert Kelly have experienced the rich pleasures and unspeakable risks of romantic infidelity, and survived to tell their tales.
Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to:
* Wipe away your shame and guilt—and get smart before you get hard
* Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time
* Take an hour to shower and scour—and fight your worst enemy: glitter
* Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl
* Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night
Lie like a woman—and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who’ve lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly’s hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.
No one writes about family quite like Drew Magary. The GQ correspondent and Deadspin columnist’s stories about trying to raise a family have attracted millions of readers online. And now he’s finally bringing that unique voice to a memoir. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children in contemporary America.
In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads (getting drunk while trick-or-treating, watching helplessly as a child defiantly pees in a hotel pool, engaging in role-play with a princess-crazed daughter), and how stepping back can sometimes make all the difference (talking a toddler down from the third story of a netted-in playhouse, allowing children to make little mistakes in the kitchen to keep them from making the bigger ones in life). It’s a celebration of all the surprises—joyful and otherwise—that come with being part of a real family.
In the wake of recent bestsellers that expose how every other culture raises their children better, Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt defense of American child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It’s the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, and flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.
Are you the confused parent of a toddler?
Are you constantly disappointing the 2T in your life?
Are you tired, stressed out, and looking for relief?
I can’t help you with that last one, but if you want to become an A+ servant to your small child, this book is for you. Who better to teach you about toddlers than another toddler? In this book you’ll learn:
• How time-outs make you look like a fool
• Why potty training is not only unnecessary but unrealistic for children under eighteen
• Why toddler beds are OUT and letting your child sleep on the diagonal in your bed is IN
• The best way to apologize to your toddler for all of those Pinterest casseroles
• That when you love someone, you accept them as they are, pants or no pants
The hard-hitting knowledge in The Honest Toddler will save you thousands of dollars in unnecessary whole grains and toothbrushes.
Happy reading. You’re doing the right thing. For once.
Finalist for the PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay * Nominated for “Best Memoir & Autobiography” by Goodreads Choice Awards 2016 * Named a “Best Book of the Year” by New York Post
"You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to read it again." —TheSkimm
“I'm mad Jennifer's Weiner's first book of essays is as wonderful as her fiction. You will love this book and wish she was your friend." —Mindy Kaling, author of Why Not Me?
"Fiercely funny, powerfully smart, and remarkably brave." —Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild
Jennifer Weiner is many things: a bestselling author, a Twitter phenomenon, and an “unlikely feminist enforcer” (The New Yorker). She’s also a mom, a daughter, and a sister, a clumsy yogini, and a reality-TV devotee. In this “unflinching look at her own experiences” (Entertainment Weekly), Jennifer fashions tales of modern-day womanhood as uproariously funny and moving as the best of Nora Ephron and Tina Fey.
No subject is off-limits in these intimate and honest essays: sex, weight, envy, money, her mother’s coming out of the closet, her estranged father’s death. From lonely adolescence to hearing her six-year-old daughter say the F word—fat—for the first time, Jen dives into the heart of female experience, with the wit and candor that have endeared her to readers all over the world.
With twelve kids, life at the Gilbreth house has always been a big project. But after their father passes away, there are more challenges than ever. And yet, with the irrepressible blend of humor and good cheer characteristic of one of the most beloved families in America, the Gilbreths happily rise to every occasion and find a way to keep it all together.
With the clan struggling to make ends meet, everyone has to pitch in. As their resourceful mother works to keep the family business running without Dad, the kids tackle the adventures of raising themselves and running a household. Their attempts to pinch pennies frequently result in chaos. From tragedy and the trials of the first year as a single-parent household to the daily crises of a family with a double-digit headcount, the episodes in Belles on Their Toes are poignant, inspiring, and hilarious.
“From start to finish, it is a reading joy,” raved the Chicago Sunday Tribune. “There is a sincere and heartwarming atmosphere in this second volume,” wrote Library Journal, “that makes it almost better reading, if possible, than the first.”
This ebook features an illustrated biography including rare photos from the authors’ estates.
Parents, do you often think that if your kids had to grow up the way you did—without iPads, 70-inch flatscreen TVs, American Girl dolls, and wifi in the climate controlled minivan—that they might actually be better off? Do you feel underappreciated or ignored? Do you worry you’re raising a bunch of spoiled softies who will never know how to do anything themselves—because you do everything for them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need Daddy, Stop Talking.
Adam rips parenthood a new one, telling it straight about what adults must do if they don’t want to have to support their kids forever. Using his own crappy childhood as a cautionary tale, and touting the pitfalls of the kind of helicopter parenting so pervasive today, Daddy, Stop Talking is the only parenting book you should ever read. Here, too, is sage advice to Adam’s own kids—and to future parents—on what matters most: dating; drinking and drugs; buying your first house and car; puberty; and what kind of assholes his kids (and yours) should avoid becoming. Even if his own son and daughter pretty much ignore everything he says, you shouldn’t. And you’re welcome. Again.
Deborah Platek, MD, Director of Maternal Fetal Medicine, Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
The best twin-tested tips used by real moms
The stresses that come with raising two babies are numerous - but they are predictable and manageable. From a mom who's been there, Juggling Twins is a funny, realistic, and reassuring guide for every new mom of twins who may be asking herself, "Can I really pull this off?"
From pregnancy to health issues, to eating, sleeping, bathing, and leaving the house, Juggling Twins is packed with the detailed, authoritative information that parents of multiples crave. Author and mother of twin boys Meghan Regan-Loomis offers an indispensable toolkit of solutions and techniques, designed to create order out of the chaos and help you catch your breath during this daunting and exhilarating time.
You'll learn how to:Nurse two babies at the same time, comfortably and efficiently Get exactly the help you need from family and friends in those first few weeks Safely transport two babies at once when it's just you and them Survive the nights by breaking them into shifts (that include you sleeping) Stockpile the right food and supplies in advance of their arrival Maintain your identity and your marriage through the madness
Get prepared, stay calm, and count your blessings (two!)—raising twins can be a wonderful, intense challenge that draws on the best in you.
Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts.
Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.
In his line of work, royal heir Darcy Squires-Thornton has always been content playing second fiddle to close friend Prince Adrian, and happy, too, with whatever brief romantic encounters come his way. Especially one with carefree Caroline McKenzie, whose best friend is engaged to the prince. Fun-loving Caroline McKenzie's motto has always been "love the one you're with". But when the one she's no longer with is the one with whom she's fallen in love, what's a girl an ocean away to do?
What people are saying about Jenny Gardiner's books:
"A fun, sassy read! A cross between Erma Bombeck and Candace Bushnell, reading Jenny Gardiner is like sinking your teeth into a chocolate cupcake…you just want more."
--Meg Cabot, NY Times bestselling author of Princess Diaries, Queen of Babble and more, on Sleeping with Ward Cleaver
"As Sweet as a song and sharp as a beak, Bite Me really soars as a memoir about family--children and husbands, feathers and fur--and our capacity to keep loving though life may occasionally bite."
--Wade Rouse, bestselling author of At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream
"With a strong yet delightfully vulnerable voice, food critic Abbie Jennings embarks on a soulful journey where her love for banana cream pie and disdain for ill-fitting Spanx clash in hilarious and heartbreaking ways. As her body balloons and her personal life crumbles, Abbie must face the pain and secret fears she's held inside for far too long. I cheered for her the entire way."
--Beth Hoffman, NY Times bestselling author of Saving CeeCee Honeycutt on Slim to None
"Jenny Gardiner has done it again--this fun, fast-paced book is a great summer read."
--Sarah Pekkanen, NY Times bestselling author of The Opposite of Me, on Slim to None
Keywords: romantic comedy, humor, contemporary romance, modern fairy tale, new adult, Royalty, nobility, prince, aristocrat, , heir, peerage, monarch, Europe, wealthy, Playboy, rich, millionaire, international, vacation, romance, love, chick lit, chicklit, series, wedding, marriage
A beloved literary treasure for more than half a century, Betty MacDonald's The Egg and I is a heartwarming and uproarious account of adventure and survival on an American frontier.
Raised in small-town Oklahoma in a house “thirteen telephone poles past the standpipe north of town,” Rue developed her two great passions—theater and men—at an early age. She arrived in New York City in 1957 with two-weeks worth of money in her pocket, hustled her way into a class with the legendary Uta Hagen, and began working her way up in the acting world against the vibrant, free-spirited backdrop of the sixties. That’s when she met and married Husband #1—a handsome rogue of an aspiring actor who quickly left her with a young son. Still, she was determined to make it on the stage and screen—and in the years that followed, rose to the top of the entertainment world with a host of adventures (and husbands) along the way.
From her roles on Broadway opposite Dustin Hoffman and Brad Davis, to her first television appearances on Maude and All in the Family, to the Golden Girls era and beyond, My First Five Husbands is the irresistible story of one woman’s quest to find herself. Rue is proof that many things can and do get better with age—and that, if she keeps her wits about her, even a small-town girl can make it big.
People always ask me if I'm like Blanche. And I say, 'Well, Blanche was an oversexed, self-involved, man-crazy, vain Southern Belle from Atlanta -- and I'm not from Atlanta!’” -- Rue McClanahan
Twenty-five philosophers examine the wisdom of Louis C.K. from a variety of philosophical perspectives. The chapters draw upon C.K.’s standup comedy, the show Louie, and C.K.’s other writings. There is no attempt to fit Louis into one philosophical school; instead the authors bring out the diverse aspects of the thought of Louis C.K.
One writer looks at the different meanings of C.K.’s statement, “You’re gonna be dead way longer than you were alive.” Another explores how Louis knows when he’s awake and when he’s dreaming, taking a few tips from Descartes. One chapter shows the affinity of C.K.’s “sick of living this bullshit life” with Kierkegaard’s “sickness unto death.” Another pursues Louis’s thought that we may by our lack of moral concern “live a really evil life without thinking about it." C.K.'s religion is "apathetic agnostic," conveyed in his thought experiment that God began work in 1982.
Anyone who thinks motherhood is easy has never had children. To care for children, a husband, and oneself is a superhuman task, and any woman who appears to be expert at doing all three simultaneously is not Supermom—she’s a good actress. For three decades, Erma Bombeck chronicled motherhood’s daily frustrations and victories. In this classic anthology, she presents all sorts of mothers, and even a stay-at-home dad, on good days and bad. With hilarious anecdotes and deep compassion, she shows that there is no other profession that demands so much, and rewards so highly. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.