"Describes a particular kind of youthful male desolation better than it has ever been described before, by anyone." --Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon
I don’t want to get out of bed.
I’m so stupid.
I did so many things wrong.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m going to be in so much trouble.
What am I going to do?
I’m completely screwed.
In 1991, fourteen-year-old Brent Runyon came home from school, doused his bathrobe in gasoline, put it on, and lit a match.
He suffered third-degree burns over 85% of his body and spent the next year recovering in hospitals and rehab facilities. During that year of physical recovery, Runyon began to question what he’d done, undertaking the complicated journey from near-death back to high school, and from suicide back to the emotional mainstream of life.
Drawing on her research knowledge and clinical experience, internationally respected neurologist—and mother of two boys—Frances E. Jensen, M.D., offers a revolutionary look at the science of the adolescent brain, providing remarkable insights that translate into practical advice for both parents and teenagers.
Driven by the assumption that brain growth was pretty much complete by the time a child began kindergarten, scientists believed for years that the adolescent brain was essentially an adult one—only with fewer miles on it. Over the last decade, however, the scientific community has learned that the teen years encompass vitally important stages of brain development.
Motivated by her personal experience of parenting two teenage boys, renowned neurologist Dr. Frances E. Jensen gathers what we’ve discovered about adolescent brain functioning, wiring, and capacity and, in this groundbreaking, accessible book, explains how these eye-opening findings not only dispel commonly held myths about the teenage years, but also yield practical suggestions that will help adults and teenagers negotiate the mysterious world of adolescent neurobiology.
Interweaving clear summary and analysis of research data with anecdotes drawn from her years as a parent, clinician, and public speaker, Dr. Jensen explores adolescent brain functioning and development in the contexts of learning and multitasking, stress and memory, sleep, addiction, and decision-making.
Rigorous yet accessible, warm yet direct, The Teenage Brain sheds new light on the brains—and behaviors—of adolescents and young adults, and analyzes this knowledge to share specific ways in which parents, educators, and even the legal system can help them navigate their way more smoothly into adulthood.
Being a teenager has never been easy, but in recent years, with the rise of the Internet and social media, it has become exponentially more challenging. Bullying, once thought of as the province of queen bees and goons, has taken on new, complex, and insidious forms, as parents and educators know all too well.
No writer is better poised to explore this territory than Emily Bazelon, who has established herself as a leading voice on the social and legal aspects of teenage drama. In Sticks and Stones, she brings readers on a deeply researched, clear-eyed journey into the ever-shifting landscape of teenage meanness and its sometimes devastating consequences. The result is an indispensable book that takes us from school cafeterias to courtrooms to the offices of Facebook, the website where so much teenage life, good and bad, now unfolds.
Along the way, Bazelon defines what bullying is and, just as important, what it is not. She explores when intervention is essential and when kids should be given the freedom to fend for themselves. She also dispels persistent myths: that girls bully more than boys, that online and in-person bullying are entirely distinct, that bullying is a common cause of suicide, and that harsh criminal penalties are an effective deterrent. Above all, she believes that to deal with the problem, we must first understand it.
Blending keen journalistic and narrative skills, Bazelon explores different facets of bullying through the stories of three young people who found themselves caught in the thick of it. Thirteen-year-old Monique endured months of harassment and exclusion before her mother finally pulled her out of school. Jacob was threatened and physically attacked over his sexuality in eighth grade—and then sued to protect himself and change the culture of his school. Flannery was one of six teens who faced criminal charges after a fellow student’s suicide was blamed on bullying and made international headlines. With grace and authority, Bazelon chronicles how these kids’ predicaments escalated, to no one’s benefit, into community-wide wars. Cutting through the noise, misinformation, and sensationalism, she takes us into schools that have succeeded in reducing bullying and examines their successful strategies. The result is a groundbreaking book that will help parents, educators, and teens themselves better understand what kids are going through today and what can be done to help them through it.
Contains a new discussion guide for classroom use and book groups.
Praise for Sticks and Stones
“Intelligent, rigorous . . . [Emily Bazelon] is a compassionate champion for justice in the domain of childhood’s essential unfairness.”—Andrew Solomon, The New York Times Book Review
“[Bazelon] does not stint on the psychological literature, but the result never feels dense with studies; it’s immersive storytelling with a sturdy base of science underneath, and draws its authority and power from both.”—New York
“A humane and closely reported exploration of the way that hurtful power relationships play out in the contemporary public-school setting . . . As a parent herself, [Bazelon] brings clear, kind analysis to complex and upsetting circumstances.”—The Wall Street Journal
“Bullying isn’t new. But our attempts to respond to it are, as Bazelon explains in her richly detailed, thought-provoking book. . . . Comprehensive in her reporting and balanced in her conclusions, Bazelon extracts from these stories useful lessons for young people, parents and principals alike.”—The Washington Post
Drawing on 20 years of clinical experience, Langman offers surprising reasons for why some teens become violent. Langman divides shooters into three categories, and he discusses the role of personality, trauma, and psychosis among school shooters.
From examining the material evidence of notorious school shooters at Columbine and Virginia Tech to addressing the mental states of the violent youths he treats, Langman shows how to identify early signs of homicide-prone youth and what preventive measures educators, parents and communities can take to protect themselves from the tragedy.
WITH NEW MATERIAL ON CYBERBULLYING AND
HELPING GIRLS HANDLE THE DANGERS OF LIFE ONLINE When Odd Girl Out was first published, it became an instant bestseller and ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying. Today the dirty looks, taunting notes, and social exclusion that plague girls’ friendships have gained new momentum in cyberspace.In this updated edition, educator and bullying expert Rachel Simmons gives girls, parents, and educators proven and innovative strategies for navigating social dynamics in person and online, as well as brand new classroom initiatives and step-by-step parental suggestions for dealing with conventional bullying. With up-to-the-minute research and real-life stories, Odd Girl Out continues to be the definitive resource on the most pressing social issues facing girls today. READING GROUP GUIDE AND TEACHER’S GUIDE available at www.marinnerreadersguides.com
Why Do They Act That Way? is the first book to explain the changes in teens' brains and show parents how to use this information to understand, communicate with, and stay connected to their kids. Through real-life stories, Dr. Walsh makes sense of teenagers' many mystifying, annoying, and even outright dangerous behavioral difficulties and provides realistic solutions for dealing with everyday as well as severe challenges. Dr. Walsh's techniques include, among others: sample dialogues that help teens and parents talk civilly and constructively with each other, behavioral contracts, and Parental Survival Kits that provide practical advice for dealing with issues like curfews, disrespectful language and actions, and bullying. With this arsenal of strategies, parents can help their kids learn to control impulses, manage erratic behavior, cope with their changing bodies, and, in effect, develop a second brain.
For American parents, teenage sex is something to be feared and forbidden: most would never consider allowing their children to have sex at home, and sex is a frequent source of family conflict. In the Netherlands, where teenage pregnancies are far less frequent than in the United States, parents aim above all for family cohesiveness, often permitting young couples to sleep together and providing them with contraceptives. Drawing on extensive interviews with parents and teens, Not Under My Roof offers an unprecedented, intimate account of the different ways that girls and boys in both countries negotiate love, lust, and growing up.
Tracing the roots of the parents’ divergent attitudes, Amy T. Schalet reveals how they grow out of their respective conceptions of the self, relationships, gender, autonomy, and authority. She provides a probing analysis of the way family culture shapes not just sex but also alcohol consumption and parent-teen relationships. Avoiding caricatures of permissive Europeans and puritanical Americans, Schalet shows that the Dutch require self-control from teens and parents, while Americans guide their children toward autonomous adulthood at the expense of the family bond.
• Why silence reflects a girl’s desperate wish for inclusion, not isolation
• Subtle differences between teen angst and problem behavior
• Vulnerabilities in dating, friendships, school, and families
• How, if untreated, girls will carry feelings of helplessness, anger, and depression into adulthood
Dr. Machoian also offers conversation topics to help girls navigate mixed messages, develop their identity, make healthy decisions, and build resilience that will empower them throughout life, as well as helping parents manage their own frustration.
Is it society itself that has created this separate teen community? Resigned to the attitude that adolescents simply live in "a tribe apart," adults have pulled away, relinquishing responsibility and supervision, allowing the unhealthy behaviors of teens to flourish. Ultimately, this rift between adults and teenagers robs both generations of meaningful connections. For everyone's world is made richer and more challenging by having adolescents in it.
For parents, nurturing their teens to become healthy, well-adjusted adults seems more challenging now than ever before. There are many pressures for kids to grow up faster than they should. Here, renowned adolescent medicine specialist Kenneth Ginsburg, M.D., and award-winning journalist Susan FitzGerald offer parents a practical, thoughtful strategy for guiding children through all the turning points on the way to adulthood - the "whens" and "hows" of adolescence.
Letting Go with Live and Confidence helps parents achieve five goals:
Manage Their Own Emotions. Many parents are conflicted about their teens growing up. The desire to keep things the way they've always been may get in the way of wise parental decisions. This book addresses the emotional turmoil that surrounds letting go, and urges parents to care for themselves, so they can better care for their children.
Reduce Conflict Around the Whens. It's the everyday "When can I?" questions that trigger many struggles. Parents will learn to turn potential sources of conflict into opportunities for growth as they consider 18 scenarios, including When is my child ready to stay home alone? Get a cell phone? Manage money? Date? Drive?
Minimize Anxiety Over the Hows. Certain subjects are tough to talk about and the stakes in these conversations are high. How in the world do you talk about sex? Drugs? Peer pressure? Parents will learn how to approach critical topics with honesty and clarity, increasing the chances that they'll actually be heard.
Gain Confidence To Make the Right Decisions. Parents reading this book will be better prepared to make decisions because they'll have a strategy to apply to each situation and gain new insight into their child's developmental needs.
Understand That Nurturing Independence Is An Act of Love. The ultimate goal of parenting is to produce a well-adjusted adult. When teens understand that their parents support their independence, they're less likely to rebel. As importantly, when independence is not a battle, families can move toward lifelong interdependence.
Letting Go with Live and Confidence is filled with the latest findings on successful parenting and is infused with Dr. Ginsburg's expert advice on how to build resilience in teens. This comprehensive volume also contains stories from real parents from diverse backgrounds who have faced the challenges of raising teens. Empowering and groundbreaking, this book is a one-stop resource to parenting teens in the twenty-first century.
Parents, teachers, friends, and even many clinicians are both horrified and mystified upon discovering teenagers who intentionally cut, burn, and otherwise inflict pain on themselves. Often causing permanent and extensive scarring, as well as infections, cutting is increasingly prevalent among today's youth. As many as 1 in 100 adolescents report cutting themselves, representing a growing epidemic of scarred and tormented youth, as we see in this revealing work. Author Plante explains the threat of suicide must always be carefully evaluated, although the vast majority of cutters are not in fact suicidal. Instead, cutting represents a growing teenage method for easing emotional pain and suffering. Bleeding from self-inflicted wounds not only helps to numb and vent despair, it can also be a dramatic means of communicating, controlling, and asking for help from others.
In this book, Plante features the stories of self-injurers and helps the reader understand the meaning of the injuries, and how to help teens stop. This author, who is a psychologist, a parent, and a Stanford University Medical School faculty member, explains in clear detail how cutters and the adults who love them can heal the pain and stop self-injury. Plante describes the frightening developmental tasks teenagers and young adults face, and how the central challenges of the three I's (Independence, Intimacy, and Identity) compel them to cope through self-destructive acts. Readers will feel as if they are in the therapy room with Plante and these struggling teenagers as they seek to overcome their internal pain and that desperate need to cut and self-injure.
No one finds it easy to be a parent of a teenager. How strict or easy-going should you be? What is the best way to support a teenager who is pushing you away? What do you do if homework is being ignored, or if a young person is up half the night on the phone or internet? How do you communicate with someone who seems not to be listening?
In this book, international expert, Oxford psychologist and father, Dr John Coleman, provides a new approach to parenting adolescents.
Why won’t my teenager talk to me?draws on ground-breaking research relating to brain development, sleep patterns in adolescence, and communication to offer a valuable tool enabling parents and carers to become more effective and resilient during this stage.
Based on the author’s long experience in running workshops for parents of teenagers, the combination of practical advice and research evidence will give readers an invaluable guide to the adolescent stage of life. The book draws on the voices and experiences of a wide range of parents of teenagers.
Talking and listening is at the heart of this book. Based on developing strategies for positive and respectful two-way communication, Dr Coleman’s revolutionary "STAGE" framework for parenting offers new insights and helps parents navigate the teenage years. Its aim is to improve relations between parents and teenagers, as well as to help professionals in their work with families. It will appeal to all parents and carers of teenagers, as well as to those in the fields of social work, counselling, health and education.
The text provides students with a learning model which incorporates three essential cornerstones, which are pivotal to understanding child and adolescent psychopathology: the K3 paradigm that consists of knowledge of developmental expectations, knowledge of the sources of influence, and knowledge of the theoretical models. Each chapter opens with a case illustration to highlight the themes of the material that follows. The chapters conclude with a Summary Review, Glossary of New Terms and a Set of Review Questions.
Written by mindfulness expert and licensed clinical psychologist Patricia C. Broderick, Learning to Breatheis a secular program that tailors the teaching of mindfulness to the developmental needs of adolescents to help them understand their thoughts and feelings and manage distressing emotions. Students will be empowered by learning important mindfulness meditation skills that help them improve emotion regulation, reduce stress, improve overall performance, and, perhaps most importantly, develop their attention. The book also includes a website link with student handouts and homework assignments, making it an ideal classroom tool.
The book integrates certain themes of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn, into a program that is shorter, more accessible to students, and compatible with school curricula. Students will learn to pay attention in the moment, manage emotions as they are perceived, and gain greater control over their own feelings and actions. These mindfulness practices offer the opportunity to develop hardiness in the face of uncomfortable feelings that otherwise might provoke a response that could be harmful (e.g. acting out by taking drugs, displaying violent behavior or acting in by becoming more depressed).
This easy-to-use manual is designed to be used by teachers, but can also be used by any mental health provider teaching adolescents emotion regulation, stress reduction and mindfulness skills. The author is a graduate of the MBSR advanced practicum at the Center for Mindfulness in Massachusetts, led by Jon Kabat-Zinn. She is also a clinical psychologist and a certified school psychologist and counselor for grades K-12. In the book, Broderick calls on her years of experience working with adolescents to outline the best strategies for dealing with disruption in the classroom and emotions that are out of hand.
The book is structured around six themes built upon the acronym BREATHE, and each theme has a core message. The program allows for themes to be delivered in 6 longer or 18 shorter sessions, depending upon time and needs of students. The 6 core lessons are: Body, Reflection, Emotions, Attention, Tenderness, and Healthy Mind Habits.
Learning to Breathe is the perfect tool for empowering students as they grapple with the psychological tasks of adolescence.
• Communicate unconditional love
• Handle teenage anger … and your own
• Deal with adolescent depression
• Establish loving communication even when your teen shuts down
• Help your teenager grow spiritually
As you learn to love your teen in ways he or she can receive, you’ll be amazed at the joy the teenage years can bring.
Using personal examples from his work as a former high school counselor and adolescent therapist, Rozema helps teens (and those trying to help teens) understand the issues troubled youths face. Behind the Mask examines the following:
• Three of the masks teens wear • The despair that lies behind the mask • Emotions and behaviors that fuel that despair • The relationship of the mask to addictions • The importance of love and trust, and how they can lead to recovery • Steps to make recovery possible
Behind the Mask shares the personal experiences of adolescents and offers quotes from real journals to illustrate how teenagers minds’ work. It provides information for young people to throw off their masks and live happier, more fulfilling lives.
Father Hunger will change this situation. First drawn to his topic by observing the recurring nightmares of clinic-referred children of newly separated parents - nightmares in which the children's fear of their own aggression was coupled with desperate wishes for their fathers' return - Herzog went on to spend more than two decades exploring the role of the father in a variety of naturalistic settings. He discovered that the characteristically intense manner in which fathers engaged their children provided an experience of contained excitement that served as a necessary scaffolding to the children's emerging sense of self and as a potential buffer against future trauma.
A brilliant observer and remarkably gifted, caring clinician, Herzog remains true to the ambiguities and multiple leves of meaning that arise in therapeutic encounters with real people. He consistently locates his therapeutic strategies and clinical discoveries within a sophisticated observational framework, thus making his formulations about father hunger and its remediation of immediate value to scientific researchers. A model of humane psychoanalytic exploration in response to a deepening social problem, Father Hunger is a clinical document destined to raise public consciousness and help shape social policy. And in the extraordinary stories of therapeutic struggle and restoration that emerge from its pages, it is a stunning testament to the resiliency of the human spirit.
This volume defines and develops the conceptual, methodological, and practical areas of parental monitoring and monitoring research, locating the right balance of closeness and supervision while also remaining sensitive to ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds. Assembled by leading experts on childrearing and healthy parent-child communication, this book identifies the conditions that best facilitate parental knowledge, ideal interventions for high-risk youth, and the factors that either help or hinder the monitoring of an adolescent's world. This volume also sets the parameters for future research, establishing a new framework in which the nature and approach of monitoring are evaluated within the parent-adolescent relationship and the particular social realities of everyday life.
Making the transition to ninth grade successful
Using technology in the advising process, such as online resources for college and career research, assessing interests, and structuring advising sessions
Preparing for standardized testing and using it to motivate students about the college application process
Assisting students in researching careers and colleges, making the most of college visits, applying for college, and writing the application essay
Equally important, the book focuses on the counselor and his or her role as an advocate and leader for students and details running a guidance office, working with parents, and writing Secondary School Reports. While applicable for all school counselors and students, the authors’ curriculum has a special focus on students in urban public schools to enable them to have the same experiences as their counterparts in suburban and private schools. An accompanying CD contains the tables, exercises, and charts from the book so they can be easily accessed and reproduced.
*Reestablish your authority while building trust.
*Identify and enforce nonnegotiable rules.
*Use rewards and incentives that work.
*Communicate and problem-solve effectively--even in the heat of the moment.
*Restore positive feelings in your relationship.
*Develop your teen's skills for becoming a successful adult.
Vivid stories and answers to frequently asked questions help you put the techniques into action. The updated second edition incorporates new scientific research on why some teens have more problems with self-control than others. Practical forms and worksheets can be downloaded and printed in a convenient 8 1/2" x 11" size.
Mental health professionals, see also the authors' Defiant Teens, Second Edition: A Clinician's Manual for Assessment and Family Intervention. For a focus on younger children, see also Dr. Barkley's Defiant Children, Third Edition (for professionals), and Your Defiant Child, Second Edition (for parents).
Drawing on fascinating new research as well as their own extensive experience in schools, Thompson and Grace demonstrate that children’s friendships begin early–in infancy–and run exceptionally deep in intensity and loyalty. As children grow, their friendships become more complex and layered but also more emotionally fraught, marked by both extraordinary intimacy and bewildering cruelty. As parents, we watch, and often live through vicariously, the tumult that our children experience as they encounter the “cool” crowd, shifting alliances, bullies, and disloyal best friends.
Best Friends, Worst Enemies brings to life the drama of childhood relationships, guiding parents to a deeper understanding of the motives and meanings of social behavior. Here you will find penetrating discussions of the difference between friendship and popularity, how boys and girls deal in unique ways with intimacy and commitment, whether all kids need a best friend, why cliques form and what you can do about them.
Filled with anecdotes that ring amazingly true to life, Best Friends, Worst Enemies probes the magic and the heartbreak that all children experience with their friends. Parents, teachers, counselors–indeed anyone who cares about children–will find this an eye-opening and wonderfully affirming book.
Key chapters cover development across the lifespan, including the prenatal period, infancy, childhood, adolescence and adulthood, while activities help readers build the underpinning generic critical thinking and transferable skills they need to become independent learners, and to meet the requirements of their programme of study.
In The Body Project, historian Joan Jacobs Brumberg answers this question, drawing on diary excerpts and media images from 1830 to the present. Tracing girls' attitudes toward topics ranging from breast size and menstruation to hair, clothing, and cosmetics, she exposes the shift from the Victorian concern with character to our modern focus on outward appearance—in particular, the desire to be model-thin and sexy. Compassionate, insightful, and gracefully written, The Body Project explores the gains and losses adolescent girls have inherited since they shed the corset and the ideal of virginity for a new world of sexual freedom and consumerism—a world in which the body is their primary project.
• Act sweet and nice
• Be a star athlete and get straight A's
• Seem sexy and hot even if you're not
In many ways, today is the best time in history to be a girl: Opportunities for a girl's success are as unlimited as her dreams. Yet societal expectations, cultural trends, and conflicting messages are creating what psychologist and researcher Stephen Hinshaw calls "the Triple Bind." Girls are now expected to excel at "girl skills," achieve "boy goals," and be models of female perfection, 100 percent of the time. Here, Dr. Hinshaw reveals key aspects of the Triple Bind, including
• genes, hormones, and the role of biology in confronting the Triple Bind
• overscheduled lives and how the high pressure to excel at everything sets girls up for crisis
• how traditionally feminine qualities (such as empathy and self-awareness) can put girls at risk for anxiety, depression, and other disorders
• the oversexualization of little girls, preteens, and teenagers
• the reasons girls are channeling pressure into violence
Combining moving personal stories with extensive research, Dr. Hinshaw provides tools for parents who want to empower their daughters to deal in healthy ways with today's pressures.
Latina Girls brings together cutting edge research that challenges these stereotypes. At the same time, the volume offers solid data and suggestions for practical intervention for those who study and work to support this population. It highlights the challenges these young women face, as well as the ways in which they successfully negotiate those challenges. The volume includes research on Latinas and their relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners; academics; career goals; identity; lifelong satisfaction; and the ways in which they navigate across cultures and gender roles.
Latina Girls is the first book to pull together research on the overall strengths and strategies that characterize Latina adolescents' lives in the U.S. It will be of key interest and practical use to those who study and work with Latina youth.
Anthropologist Mimi Nichter spent three years interviewing middle school and high school girls--lower-middle to middle class, white, black, and Latina--about their feelings concerning appearance, their eating habits, and dieting. In "Fat Talk," she tells us what the girls told her, and explores the influence of peers, family, and the media on girls' sense of self. Letting girls speak for themselves, she gives us the human side of survey statistics.
Most of the white girls in her study disliked something about their bodies and knew all too well that they did not look like the envied, hated "perfect girl' But they did not diet so much as talk about dieting. Nichter wryly argues-in fact some of the girls as much as tell her-that "fat talk" is a kind of social ritual among friends, a way of being, or creating solidarity. It allows the girls to show that they are concerned about their weight, but it lessens the urgency to "do" anything about it, other than diet from breakfast to lunch. Nichter concludes that if anything, girls are watching their weight and what they eat, as well as trying to get some exercise and eat "healthfully" in a way that sounds much less disturbing than stories about the epidemic of eating disorders among American girls.
Black girls, Nichter learned, escape the weight obsession and the "fat talk" that is so pervasive among white girls. The African-American girls she talked with were much more satisfied with their bodies than were the white girls. For them, beauty was a matter of projecting attitude ("'tude") and moving with confidence and style.
"Fat Talk" takes the reader into the lives of girls as daughters, providing insights into how parents talk to their teenagers about their changing bodies. The black girls admired their mothers' strength; the white girls described their mothers' own "fat talk," their fathers' uncomfortable teasing, and the way they and their mothers sometimes dieted together to escape the family "curse"--flabby thighs, ample hips. Moving beyond negative stereotypes of mother-daughter relationships, Nichter sensitively examines the issues and struggles that mothers face in bringing up their daughters, particularly in relation to body image, and considers how they can help their daughters move beyond rigid and stereotyped images of ideal beauty.
Adolescents and young adults today face very different choices about family formation than did their parents’ generation, given such societal changes as the rise in cohabitation, the increase in divorce rates, and families having fewer children. These demographic trends are linked in important ways and provide a backdrop against which adolescents and emerging adults form and maintain romantic and sexual relationships.
Editors Crouter and Booth address such questions as:
*What are the ways in which early family and peer relationships give rise to romantic relationships in the late adolescent and early adult years?
*How do early romantic and sexual relationships influence individuals’ subsequent development and life choices, including family formation?
*To what extent are current trends in romantic and sexual relationships in adolescence and emerging adulthood problematic for individuals, families, and communities, and what are the most effective ways to address these issues at the level of practice, program, and policy?
Romance and Sex in Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood: Risks and Opportunities is an enlightening compilation of essays for academicians and upper-lever undergraduate and graduate students in the fields of human development and family studies, sociology, and psychology, as well as for practitioners in those fields who work with families and adolescents. The chapters are accessible to a wide variety of audiences.
As Getting to 30 shows, the road to adulthood is longer than we think—and, for parents, bumpier. It explains what’s really happening to your 18- to 29-year-old, including the story behind your child’s moods. The phenomenon of the boomerang child—and why it’s actually a good thing, for parents and kids. The new landscape of 20-something romance. And it gives all the tools parents need to deal with the challenges, from six ways to listen more than you talk, to knowing when to open (and close) the Bank of Mom and Dad while saving for retirement, to figuring out the protocol for social media.
Published in hardcover as When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up?, Getting to 30 includes the latest research on the optimistic and supportive attitude most parents have regarding their 20-something children.
It turns out that teens’ thrill-seeking activities and quests for independence aren’t just the result of raging hormones, but rather typical effects of the unique structure and development of the adolescent brain. In easily navigable chapters full of practical anecdotes and examples, acclaimed scientists Aaron White and Scott Swartzwelder draw from the most recent studies on the teen brain to illuminate the complexities of issues such as school, driving, social networking, video games, and mental health in kids whose crucial brain connections are just coming online.
Intended to be of practical use to clinicians treating adolescent addiction, the book contains a wealth of information that will be of use to the researcher as well. Contributors to the book represent the US, Canada, the UK, New Zealand, and Australia.
About the Editor:
Cecilia A. Essau is professor of developmental psychopathology at Roehampton University in London, UK. Specializing in child and adolescent psychopathology, she has been an author or editor of 12 previous books in child psychopathology and is author of over 100 research articles and book chapters in this area.
* Comprehensive with the state-of-the-art information on important and the most common adolescent addiction
* Easy to understand and organized chapters
* Written by international experts
The second edition features an increased emphasis on:the historical issues confronting African descended fathers the impact of health issues on Black fathers and their children the need for therapeutic interventions to aid in the healing of fathers and their children the impact of an Afrikan-centered fathering approach and the need for research which considers systemic problems confronting African American fathers community focused models that provide new ideas for (re)connecting absent fathers learning tools including reflective questions and a conclusion in each chapter and more theory and research throughout the book.
Part I provides a historical overview of African descended fathers including their strengths and shortcomings over the years. Next, contributors share their personal stories including one from a communal father working with underserved youth and two others that highlight the impact of absent fathers. Then, the research on father-daughter relationships is examined including the impact of father absence on daughters and on gender identity. This section concludes with a discussion of serving adolescents in the foster care system. Part II focuses on the importance of a two-parent home, communal fathering, and equalitarian households. Cultural implications and barriers to relationships are also explored. This section concludes with a discussion of the struggles Black men face with role definitions. The book concludes with a discussion of the impact of adoption and health issues on Black fathers and their children, and the need for more effective therapeutic interventions that include a perspective centered in the traditions and cultures of Afrika in learning to become a father. The final chapter offers an intervention model to aid in fatherhood.
An ideal supplementary text for courses on fathers and fathering, introduction to the family, parenting, African American families/men, men and masculinity, Black studies, race and ethnic relations, and family issues taught in a variety of departments, the book also appeals to social service providers, policy makers, and clergy who work with community institutions.
In his decades as a therapist, Dr William Glasser has often counselled parents and teenagers. His advice has healed shattered families and changed lives. Now in his first book on the lessons he has learned, he asks parents to reject the 'common sense' that tells them to 'lay down the law', ground teens, or try to coerce them into changing behaviour. These strategies have never worked, asserts Dr Glasser, and never will. Instead he offers a different approach based upon Choice Theory. Glasser spells out the seven deadly habits parents practiSe and then shows them how to accomplish their goals by changing their own behaviour. Above all, he helps parents keep their relationship with their child strong. Dr Glasser provides a groundbreaking method that any parent can use with confidence and love.
"I forgot to turn in the stupid application."
"Could you drive me to school? I missed the bus again."
"I can't walk the dog--I have too much homework!"
If you're the parent of a "smart but scattered" teen, trying to help him or her grow into a self-sufficient, responsible adult may feel like a never-ending battle. Now you have an alternative to micromanaging, cajoling, or ineffective punishments. This positive guide provides a science-based program for promoting teens' independence by building their executive skills--the fundamental brain-based abilities needed to get organized, stay focused, and control impulses and emotions. Executive skills experts Drs. Richard Guare and Peg Dawson are joined by Colin Guare, a young adult who has successfully faced these issues himself. Learn step-by-step strategies to help your teen live up to his or her potential now and in the future--while making your relationship stronger. Helpful worksheets and forms can be downloaded and printed in a convenient 8 1/2" x 11" size.
See also the authors' Smart but Scattered (with a focus on 4- to 13-year-olds) and their self-help guide for adults. Plus, Work-Smart Academic Planner: Write It Down, Get It Done, designed for middle and high school students to use in conjunction with coaching, and related titles for professionals.
Winner (Third Place)--American Journal of Nursing Book of the Year Award, Consumer Health Category
Cyber bullying is rampant. Every day children are being humiliated, violated, and degraded through the use of electronic devices. Young people are frightened and don't know where to turn. Parents are frustrated and unsure how to help or how to protect their children. Although there are dozens of excellent books, videos, websites, and resources addressing cyber bullying, this book will give parents/guardians a manageable number of effective parenting strategies to incorporate into their lives and their children's.Parents/guardians will learn practical safety measures that can be easily implemented for the protection of their children.Parents/guardians will learn a series of intervention strategies to utilize once their child has experienced a cyber bullying attack.Parents/guardians will learn how they can play a role in the prevention of cyber bullying by educating themselves on principles of causation. Parents/guardians will be given specific tools or exercises to implement within each strategy.Parents/guardians will be given recommendations for additional support and education.
Therapists' Acclaim for Cyber Bullying No More
"Rather imply that families can return to some idealistic less complicated time without Facebook, sexting, social networks, and Twitter, and whatever else comes along, Kenley's booklet will help parents mitigate possible harm to their children as they integrate this technology hopefully into healthy lives and relationships."
--Ronald Mah, M.A. LMFT, author of "Difficult Behavior in Early Childhood" and "The One Minute Temper Tantrum Solution"
"Holli addresses children's readiness for technology as well as rules, contracts and education for parents to consider for their children as they introduce or allow entry of new technology into their lives. Cyber bullying and victimization are concerns addressed as well as internet resources for parents, with tools for protection, interventions and prevention--a must for parents in our technological world."
--Lani Stoner, Marriage and Family Therapist
Learn more at www.HolliKenley.com
From the Growing With Love Series at Loving Healing Press www.LovingHealing.com
This important new book is the result of a four-year international collaboration, funded by the EU, to better understand how we can cope and confront cyberbullying, and how new media technologies can be used to actually support the victims of such abuse. The articles initially define the historical and theoretical context to cyberbullying, before examining key issues involved in managing this pervasive phenomenon. Coverage includes:
The definition and measurement of cyberbullying.
The legal challenges in tackling cyberbullying across a number of international contexts.
The role of mobile phone companies and Internet service providers in monitoring and prevention
How the media frame and present the issue, and how that influences our understanding.
How victims can cope with the effects of cyberbullying, and the guidelines and advice provided in different countries.
How cyber-bullying can continue from school into further education, and the strategies that can be used to prevent it.
The ways in which accessing 'youth voice', or maximising the contribution of young people themselves to the research process, can enhance our understanding
The book concludes with practical guidance to help confront the trauma that cyberbullying can cause. It will be a valuable resource for researchers, students, policy makers and administrators with an interest in how children and young people are rendered vulnerable to bullying and harassment through a variety of online channels.
In Self-Injury: The Ultimate Teen Guide, Judy Dodge Cummings tackles this serious subject, offering hope for young adults everywhere. In this book, Cummings defines self-injury as it is understood by the medical community and examines the causes of self-harm. The author shares the stories of several young women and men to help explain what types of people are most affected by this disorder. Topics covered in this book include
Who is most prone to self-injuryInternal and external triggers to self-harm The impact of social media and the Internet on this issueObvious and subtle signs of self-harmCoping mechanismsResources for individuals
Aimed at teens who need to find healthier ways to handle the pressures of everyday life, this book will also assist friends and families who want to help their loved ones. Weaved throughout the chapters are first-person accounts of teens who intentionally hurt themselves, and their stories will help others understand they are not alone. Providing paths to recovery, Self-Injury: The Ultimate Teen Guide is a valuable resource for anyone who wants to break free from self-destructive behavior.
In Creativity: The Ultimate Teen Guide, Aryna Ryan helps teens remove the barriers to being creative. This book explains what creativity is and what it isn’t, and asserts that everyone—including teens of all ages—are creative beings. Chapters in this book cover
• myths of creativity,
• creativity assessment,
• the role of creativity in happiness,
• the Creative Problem Solving process, and
• creative brainstorming techniques.
Most important, this book offers ways in which teens and those close to them can cultivate creativity. Teens will also learn how to maximize their creative possibilities and resist impulses and individuals that crush creativity. With insights into how teens have the potential to be the most creative people of all, along with a list of resources that can help them, Creativity: The Ultimate Teen Guide is a unique book that young adults and their families will find invaluable.
He takes on two of the most difficult concepts in science, since we first began to think of science. What is intelligence, and why do we play as we do? With a simple toy brick, he demonstrates how play affects our brain and thought processes and how our abilities transfer from one intelligence to another. He also demonstrates how play is vital in our education and communication, for both children and adults. Like the children all around us, if we dare but play, we could face the challenges in our daily life and have fun while doing so.
Understanding children's problem behaviors in school-- seeing beyond the surface actions to reveal and name the root needs fueling those actions--is vital to helping the child. Yet, whether teachers in schools or parents at home, adults often make quick, cursory assessments, then an intervention is sprung. Explanations might be sought from the child, who often resists and becomes more distant. Punishment can occur and things are taken away, but the behavior worsens. These scenarios and similar occurrences frustrate parents, teachers, and other school professionals alike. In "Learning from Behavior," Levine shows us how to observe, question, and think about problem behaviors in such a way that we can understand what is motivating the children to act as they do. Behavior, after all, often represents what the child cannot communicate, due to language limitations, level of psychological development, or traumatic experience. Children think differently; they are not small adults. We need to understand the behavior from the child's perspective before we can intervene to change the behavior. Author Levine shows us, incorporating illustrative vignettes, how to do that.
Step by step, Levine, a clinical social worker experienced as a consultant to dozens of schools, helps us take the astute advice cited in one children's song we've all heard: stop, look and listen, to first understand the behavior. Question the causes. Cases included in this book range from noncompliance and poor academic performance to disinhibition, suspected ADHD, PTSD, and injury-caused acting out. We hear about the history of behavioral interventions, listen as children tell us how they perceive these interventions, and look over the social worker's shoulder as effective helping strategies are put into action. As Levine explains, Given the challenges we share communally in helping children, we should do everything possible to learn more about children's behavior, enhance our methods for reaching out to them, and refine our approaches to intervention. All of us--teachers, parents, clinicians, researchers, and administrators, along with the children we serve--must participate in this vital endeavor.
When Peggy Orenstein's now-classic examination of young girls and self-esteem was first published, it set off a groundswell that continues to this day. Inspired by an American Association of University Women survey that showed a steep decline in confidence as girls reach adolescence, Orenstein set out to explore the obstacles girls face--in school, in the hoime, and in our culture.
For this intimate, girls' eye view of the world, Orenstein spent months observing and interviewing eighth-graders from two ethnically disparate communities, seeking to discover what was causing girls to fall into traditional patterns of self-censorship and self-doubt. By taking us into the lives of real young women who are struggling with eating disorders, sexual harrassment, and declining academic achievement, Orenstein brings the disturbing statistics to life with the skill and flair of an experienced journalist. Uncovering the adolescent roots of issues that remain important to American women throughout their lives, this groundbreaking book challenges us to change the way we raise and educate girls.
“If you need to understand adolescents—whether your own or anyone else’s—you must read this book . . . Steinberg explains why most of our presumptions about adolescence are dead wrong and reveals the truth about this exciting and unnerving stage of life.”—Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No FunOver the past few decades, adolescence has lengthened, and this stage of life now lasts longer than ever. Recent research has shown that the adolescent brain is surprisingly malleable, making it a crucial time of life for determining a person’s future success and happiness. In Age of Opportunity, the world-renowned expert on adolescence Laurence Steinberg draws on this trove of fresh evidence—including his own groundbreaking research—to explain the teenage brain’s capacity for change and to offer new strategies for instilling resilience, self-control, and other beneficial traits. By showing how new discoveries about adolescence must change the way we raise, teach, and treat young people, Steinberg provides a myth-shattering guide for parents, educators, and anyone else who cares about adolescents.
“A fascinating book [that] parents and teachers ought to read.”—Atlanta Journal Constitution
“This book belongs on the shelf of every parent, teacher, youth worker, counselor, judge—heck, anyone interested in pre-teens and teenagers.”—David Walsh, Ph.D., author of Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen
After more than a decade of relentless increase in the urban war zones of large cities, violence by young boys and adolescents is on the rise in our suburbs, small towns, and rural communities. Twenty-five years as a psychologist working in the trenches with such children has convinced James Garbarino that boys everywhere really are angrier and more violent than ever before. In light of the recent school-based shootings, it's now clear that no matter where we live or how hard we try as parents, chances are our children are going to school with troubled boys capable of getting guns and pulling triggers. Beyond the deaths and debilitating injuries that result from this phenomenon are the staggering psychological costs -- children who are afraid to go to school, teachers who are afraid of their students, and parents who fear for their children's lives.
Building on his pioneering work, Garbarino shows why young men and boys have become increasingly vulnerable to violent crime and how lack of adult supervision and support poses a real and growing threat to our children's basic safety. For these vulnerable boys, violence can become normal, the "right thing to do." Terry, one of the boys Garbarino interviews, says "I just wasn't gonna take it anymore. I knew I would have to pay the price for what I did, but I didn't care." We've seen how the deadly combination of ignoring excessively bad behavior and allowing easy access to guns has destroyed families in Pennsylvania, Oregon, New York, Washington, Kentucky, and Arkansas. Fortunately, parents can spot troubled boys and take steps to protect their families from violence if they know what signs to look for -- lack of connection, masking emotions, withdrawal, silence, rage, trouble with friends, hypervigilance, cruelty toward other children and even animals -- all warning signs that every parent and peer can recognize and report.
Dr. Garbarino, whom Dr. Stanley Greenspan of the National Institute of Mental Health hails as "one of the true pioneers in our understanding of the inner life of our youth," addresses the wide range of issues that boys of every temperament and from every background may have to confront as they grow and develop. By outlining the steps parents, teachers, and public officials can take to keep all children safer, Dr. Garbarino holds out hope and solutions for turning our kids away from violence, before it is too late. This is one of the most important and original books ever written about boys.
In The Curse of the Good Girl, bestselling author Rachel Simmons argues that in lionizing the Good Girl we are teaching girls to embrace a version of selfhood that sharply curtails their power and potential. Unerringly nice, polite, modest, and selfless, the Good Girl is a paradigm so narrowly defined that it's unachievable. When girls inevitably fail to live up-experiencing conflicts with peers, making mistakes in the classroom or on the playing field-they are paralyzed by self-criticism, stunting the growth of vital skills and habits. Simmons traces the poisonous impact of Good Girl pressure on development and provides a strategy to reverse the tide. At once expository and prescriptive, The Curse of the Good Girl is a call to arms from a new front in female empowerment.
Looking to the stories shared by the women and girls who attend her workshops, Simmons shows that Good Girl pressure from parents, teachers, coaches, media, and peers erects a psychological glass ceiling that begins to enforce its confines in girlhood and extends across the female lifespan. The curse of the Good Girl erodes girls' ability to know, express, and manage a complete range of feelings. It expects girls to be selfless, limiting the expression of their needs. It requires modesty, depriving the permission to articulate their strengths and goals. It diminishes assertive body language, quieting voices and weakening handshakes. It touches all areas of girls' lives and follows many into adulthood, limiting their personal and professional potential.
Since the popularization of the Ophelia phenomenon, we have lamented the loss of self-esteem in adolescent girls, recognizing that while the doors of opportunity are open to twenty-first-century American girls, many lack the confidence to walk through them. In The Curse of the Good Girl, Simmons provides a catalog of tangible lessons in bolstering the self and silencing the curse of the Good Girl. At the core of Simmons's radical argument is her belief that the most critical freedom we can win for our daughters is the liberty not only to listen to their inner voice but also to act on it.