Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM’s devout followers, a.k.a. Pastafarians? Some say it’s the assuring touch from the FSM’s “noodly appendage.” Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church’s flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match–and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden.
Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts– dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!)
See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say:
“If Intelligent Design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory.”
–Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D.
“Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative ‘theories’ like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice.”
–J. Simon, Ph.D.
“In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory.”
–Afshin Beheshti, Ph.D.
Read the book and decide for yourself!
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Smart, hilarious, and incisive, the Liberal Rednecks confront outdated traditions and intolerant attitudes, tackling everything people think they know about the South—the good, the bad, the glorious, and the shameful—in a laugh-out-loud funny and lively manifesto for the rise of a New South. Home to some of the best music, athletes, soldiers, whiskey, waffles, and weather the country has to offer, the South has also been bathing in backward bathroom bills and other bigoted legislation that Trae Crowder has targeted in his Liberal Redneck videos, which have gone viral with over 50 million views.
Perfect for fans of Stuff White People Like and I Am America (And So Can You), The Liberal Redneck Manifesto skewers political and religious hypocrisies in witty stories and hilarious graphics—such as the Ten Commandments of the New South—and much more! While celebrating the South as one of the richest sources of American culture, this entertaining book issues a wake-up call and a reminder that the South’s problems and dreams aren’t that far off from the rest of America’s.
In keeping with the theme of her comedic New York Times bestsellers, from Belly Laughs to Love, Lust & Faking It, McCarthy brings her trademark honesty, humility, and humor to bear as she chronicles her often embarrassing, occasionally outlandish, and always entertaining life as a born-and-raised Catholic girl.
Jenny attended one of the most prestigious all-girl Catholic schools in Chicago. While most young girls in Jenny's neighborhood were playing with Cabbage Patch dolls for fun, Jenny was playing with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph dolls. She had every intention of growing up and becoming a nun, but a few hilarious speed bumps and blinking red lights along the way changed her mind. Jenny never did accept Sister Mary's reasoning that she could avoid purgatory if she just bought a string necklace for $10. The fact that two of her aunts are simultaneously nuns and cops-yes, they carry guns and shoot people while wearing a habit-never made complete sense to her. And neither does her mother's insistence that Jenny bury certain religious statues in the front lawns of her houses before she sells them. But then again, Jenny does have four of them buried across Southern California.
This book tells the story of what went wrong during Jenny's Catholic upbringing, or, as Jenny puts it now, what went right. Chapters include: "I Knew I Should Have Worn Underwear to Church", "Jesus' Baby Mama", "Can Someone Kill Our Dog, Please?", and "Oh No, My Mom is Going to Hell."
BAD HABITS is a brutally honest, hilarious memoir that will delight the legions of Jenny McCarthy fans.
In 108 brief stories with titles like "The Bad Elephant," "Girlfriend Power," and "The Happiness License," Ajahn Brahm offers up more timeless wisdom that will speak to people from all walks of life. Drawing from his own experiences, stories shared by his students, and old chestnuts that he delivers with a fresh twist, Ajahn Brahm shows he knows his way around the humorous parable, delighting even as he surprises us with unexpected depth and inspiration.
Raised in a secular family but increasingly interested in the relevance of faith in our modern world, A.J. Jacobs decides to dive in headfirst and attempt to obey the Bible as literally as possible for one full year. He vows to follow the Ten Commandments. To be fruitful and multiply. To love his neighbor. But also to obey the hundreds of less publicized rules: to avoid wearing clothes made of mixed fibers; to play a ten-string harp; to stone adulterers.
The resulting spiritual journey is at once funny and profound, reverent and irreverent, personal and universal and will make you see history’s most influential book with new eyes.
Jacobs’s quest transforms his life even more radically than the year spent reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica for The Know-It-All. His beard grows so unruly that he is regularly mistaken for a member of ZZ Top. He immerses himself in prayer, tends sheep in the Israeli desert, battles idolatry, and tells the absolute truth in all situations—much to his wife’s chagrin.
Throughout the book, Jacobs also embeds himself in a cross-section of communities that take the Bible literally. He tours a Kentucky-based creationist museum and sings hymns with Pennsylvania Amish. He dances with Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn and does Scripture study with Jehovah’s Witnesses. He discovers ancient biblical wisdom of startling relevance. And he wrestles with seemingly archaic rules that baffle the twenty-first-century brain.
Jacobs’s extraordinary undertaking yields unexpected epiphanies and challenges. A book that will charm readers both secular and religious, The Year of Living Biblically is part Cliff Notes to the Bible, part memoir, and part look into worlds unimaginable. Thou shalt not be able to put it down.
Saints are not born, they are made. And many, as Saints Behaving Badly reveals, were made of very rough materials indeed. The first book to lay bare the less than saintly behavior of thirty-two venerated holy men and women, it presents the scandalous, spicy, and sleazy detours they took on the road to sainthood.In nineteenth- and twentieth-century writings about the lives of the saints, authors tended to go out of their way to sanitize their stories, often glossing over the more embarrassing cases with phrases such as, “he/she was once a great sinner.” In the early centuries of the Church and throughout the Middle Ages, however, writers took a more candid and spirited approach to portraying the saints. Exploring sources from a wide range of periods and places, Thomas Craughwell discovered a veritable rogues gallery of sinners-turned-saints. There’s St. Olga, who unleashed a bloodbath on her husband’s assassins; St. Mary of Egypt, who trolled the streets looking for new sexual conquests; and Thomas Becket, who despite his vast riches refused to give his cloak to a man freezing to death in the street. Written with wit and respect (each profile ends with what inspired the saint to give up his or her wicked ways), Saints Behaving Badly will entertain, inform, and even inspire Catholic readers across America.
In case you haven’t noticed, the New Age has become the Old Age. But don’t recycle your crystals just yet! His Enlightenedness JP Sears is ushering in the Newer Age, blinding us with the dawn-like brilliance that is Ultra Spirituality. How to Be Ultra Spiritual presents Ultra Spiritual JP’s none-of-a-kind guidance, so you can better yourself through teachings on:
• Competitive spirituality—the Ultra Spiritual foundation that the rest of your Ultra Spiritual path rests on
• Why burying your feelings alive makes you thrive
• Dreaming up your awakening—how to engineer your carefully contrived spiritual narrative
• Rigidly yogic yoga—the moisture-filled cloud formation that drops rain upon your river so your flow can flow
• Following the light to the greener spiritual pastures of veganism
• He-ness, financial levity, deathliness, and other qualities of the quality guru
• Mindfullessness—all of the fullness of mindfulness with none of the mind
• Merciless meditation—the most effective way to become more meditative (and, duh, more spiritual)
• Accessing the forces of critical nonjudgment
• Using plant spirit medicine to experience a degree of enlightenment that you aren’t enlightened enough to experience without the spirit who lives inside its particular vegetation
• Humbleness, and how to employ it in the most superior sense of the word
With How to Be Ultra Spiritual, His Enlightenedness JP Sears brings the heart and soul of ancient spirituality back to life with a progressive aggression, replacing the diluted uselessness of modern spirituality with the waaay more spiritual wisdom of Ultra Spirituality. See if you can keep up . . .
A New York Times Notable Book, and a “chaotic, laugh riot” (San Francisco Chronicle) of a memoir.
Shalom Auslander was raised with a terrified respect for God. Even as he grew up and was estranged from his community, his religion and its traditions, he could not find the path to a life where he didn’t struggle daily with the fear of God’s formidable wrath. Foreskin’s Lament reveals Auslander’s “painfully, cripplingly, incurably, miserably religious” youth in a strict, socially isolated Orthodox Jewish community, and recounts his rebellion and efforts to make a new life apart from it. His combination of unrelenting humor and anger renders a rich and fascinating portrait of a man grappling with his faith and family.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Gideon Lamb and Jeremiah Smallchild totally get it. From their take on Hootie and the Blowfish records to hip biblical parables to the joys of home-schooling, they know what the kids are into, and they know how to relate to them like a couple of “awesome dudes.” Which is why Gideon and Jeremiah, aka God’s Pottery, are the perfect people to address the tough issues that plague the Youth of Today—issues as complicated and troubling as rap music, speed dating (“the silent killer”), and the myth of “sexercise.”
What Would God’s Pottery Do? combines essays, photographs, frank confessionals—not to mention several clearly labeled “humor” sections!—to help steer kids in the right direction, all while speaking their language. Gideon and Jeremiah are totally jazzed to reach out and touch the youth using their trademark blend of people skills and biblical know-how. Though aimed primarily at adolescents, What Would God’s Pottery Do? contains life lessons for students of any age (except old people)!
Many cynics out there claim that God’s Pottery is not really a Christian duo but rather a brilliantly executed parody. To those nonbelievers, Gideon and Jeremiah have but one thing to say: “We still love you, and we still want to help everyone—even the ones who will be going to Hell when they die!”
From the Trade Paperback edition.
The most difficult subjects in our lives are also the ones that we find most uncomfortable to talk about: divorce, body image, sexuality, pornography, or depression. Our awkward silence reveals the gap that exists between what we are and what we know we should be. But God loves those awkward moments, Sammy Rhodes argues, because they are precisely where we find connection with God and one another.
In This Is Awkward, Rhodes talks directly, honestly, hilariously about the most painfully uncomfortable subjects in our lives. In chapters like “Parents Are a Gift (You Can’t Return Them)” and “The Porn in My Side,” he boldly goes where most of us fear to tread, revealing that we can be liberated by the embrace of a God who knows the most shameful things about us and loves us all the same. Because nothing is too awkward for God.
With Arbuckle, readers will enter many rich biblical stories and come away laughing, not laughter as in response to a joke or comedy, but a profound laughter of the heart. Readers will laugh at Sarah as she laughs at God, and they will laugh together with Sarah and God. Readers will discover divine humor in the parables of Jesus and even in his suffering and death, the ultimate paradox for Christians. In addition to uncovering and recovering humor in Scripture, Arbuckle's work is a treasure trove of modern examples of humor--from literature, movies, and television--that surprisingly can be a means of transforming cultures to better reflect the kingdom of God. In the end, readers will want to turn the phrase, He who laughs last, laughs best, into, They who laugh with God, evangelize best.
Gerald A. Arbuckle, SM, PhD, is co-director of Refounding and Pastoral Development, a research ministry, in Sydney, Australia. He is internationally known for his expertise in helping church leaders minister effectively in a postmodern world. Arbuckle's most recent books include: Confronting the Demon: A Gospel Response to Adult Bullying; Violence, Society, and the Church: A Cultural Approach; and Healthcare Ministry: Refounding the Mission in Tumultuous Times (2001 Catholic Press Association Award), all published by Liturgical Press.
Using Colossians 1:9-12 as a springboard, Rhonda takes women on a fun adventure infused with practical spiritual truth about what it means to walk worthy before God. This unique and hilarious exploration is perfect for the "shoe overachiever" in all of us. It makes a great gift for the woman who has it all (and just doesn't have enough closet space to store it), or can be an enlightening small group resource.
Gentile, having separated from its Jewish roots and base. It lost most all understanding of Jewish culture. Very few in the church could read Hebrew, and as significantly, its Scriptures were in Greek, which contributed to its growing ignorance of the intricacies of Jewish word play. They could not and did not retain the richness, the interconnectedness, and the brilliance of the Hebrew writing, and thereby misinterpreted much of what they cherished. Today, many, if not most, Christians also lack the basic knowhow needed to adequately appreciate our Jewish-written Scriptures. This little 150 page book will not heal what ails us, but in a light, sometimes fun, other times serious way, it will help, and that is needed. It may even erase a few of the lines that separate our two great communities–Jewish and Christian–and remind us of our shared humanity and Faith.
Creative, insightful, humorous, sensitive, challenging, thought provoking . . . . What other words are used to describe this book and its author? See pages iv and v.
Featuring titles such as "The Two-Finger Smile" and "The Worm and His Lovely Pile of Dung," these wry and witty stories provide playful, pithy takes on the basic building blocks of everyday life. Suitable for children, adults, and anyone in between, this eloquent volume wraps insight and inspiration inside of a good old yarn.
In God Mocks, Terry Lindvall ventures into the muddy and dangerous realm of religious satire, chronicling its evolution from the biblical wit and humor of the Hebrew prophets through the Roman Era and the Middle Ages all the way up to the present. He takes the reader on a journey through the work of Chaucer and his Canterbury Tales, Cervantes, Jonathan Swift, and Mark Twain, and ending with the mediated entertainment of modern wags like Stephen Colbert. Lindvall finds that there is a method to the madness of these mockers: true satire, he argues, is at its heart moral outrage expressed in laughter. But there are remarkable differences in how these religious satirists express their outrage.The changing costumes of religious satirists fit their times. The earthy coarse language of Martin Luther and Sir Thomas More during the carnival spirit of the late medieval period was refined with the enlightened wit of Alexander Pope. The sacrilege of Monty Python does not translate well to the ironic voices of Soren Kierkegaard. The religious satirist does not even need to be part of the community of faith. All he needs is an eye and ear for the folly and chicanery of religious poseurs. To follow the paths of the satirist, writes Lindvall, is to encounter the odd and peculiar treasures who are God’s mouthpieces. In God Mocks, he offers an engaging look at their religious use of humor toward moral ends.
Another installment in Tucker Max’s series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole,” and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here.
But as you should expect from Tucker by now, he is going out with a bang—literally and figuratively. In this book, you’ll learn:
* How to live and work in Cancun, while still enrolled in Law School
* Why Halloween is really awesome
* How to subtly torture a highstrung roommate until he explodes with furious anger over a misplaced condiment
* What really happened when a dirty pageant girl tried to sue Tucker because he told the truth
* Why you should never accept a homemade treat from a hippie with a van
As we’ve come to learn from Tucker, assholes do finish first...but everything comes with a price.
Pure things, holy things . . . lovely things. These are the life "accessories" that are must-haves, says Rhea. And using Philippians 4:8-9 as a springboard, she takes women on a fun adventure infused with practical spiritual truth about how focusing on those things can lead to more fruitful, more blessed, and more peace-filled lives. Includes a discussion guide, making it great for small group Bible studies.
Veteran author and speaker Phil Callaway is no stranger to daunting challenges. He has been laughed at—repeatedly—by large crowds of people from Halifax to Hong Kong. He fathered three children in three years, spent much of last year on airplanes built by the lowest bidder, and flipped an out-of-control ATV, which doesn’t mean he sold it for a profit. So who better than Phil Callaway to boldly accept a challenge that would make the average person run and hide?
Phil promised to tell the truth for an entire year, and he wasn’t joking. Twelve months later, his journal was crammed with successes, near-successes, and outright failures. During his year-long experiment with veracity, he made a disastrous financial investment, fielded hundreds of intrusive questions from friends and strangers, attended a thirty-year class reunion, and waded into possibly the most revealing—and hilarious—situations he has ever documented.
Find out what happens when a follower of Jesus does his level best to always tell the truth. There is no doubt you’ll be entertained. But don’t be surprised if you are left with a question: how might your life be changed if you sold out to the truth—with no exceptions?
Written with the goal of being the most fun you've ever had reading a book, TOTAL FRAT MOVE pulls back the curtain on this world of hard-partying American decadence. The stories are unabashed. They are hilarious. And they are going to blow you away.
You're welcome, world.
You don’t have to be Catholic to feel a twinge of concern when your love life gets too lively—but it helps. Melinda Anderson and Kathleen Murray to the rescue! They provide guidance from your first impure thoughts to the day you cash in your V-card; from the moment you realize with alarm that your numbers sure are adding up, until the blessed morning you wake in the (almost) safe haven of marital sex. This saucy little catechism covers such burning concerns as:
•Choosing between your hormones and Him
•The intimidating world of self-love
•Etiquette tips for the confessional
•The new Catholic Math: Sex with an ex, an atheist, or a Protestant doesn't count. Were you really, really drunk or was it really, really bad? Doesn’t count either.
The Catholic Girl’s Guide to Sex is here to help you enjoy your inevitable fall from grace.
For someone who made a career out of over-sharing on the Internet, Tyler has a shocking number of personal mishaps and shenanigans to reveal in his first book: experiencing a legitimate rage blackout in a Cheesecake Factory; negotiating a tense standoff with a White House official; crashing a car in front of his entire high school, in an Arby’s uniform; projectile vomiting while bartering with a grandmother; and so much more. In Binge, Tyler delivers his best untold, hilariously side-splitting moments with the trademark flair that made him a star.
Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices.
Touching, absurd, and darkly comic, Allie Brosh’s highly anticipated book Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations.
This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written.
Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to.
FROM THE AUTHOR:
This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:
Stories about things that happened to me
Stories about things that happened to other people because of me
Eight billion dollars*
Stories about dogs
The secret to eternal happiness*
*These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
Over the course of his long and distinguished career, God has literally seen it all. And not just seen. In fact, the multitalented deity has played a pivotal role in many major events, including the Creation of the universe, the entirety of world history, and the successful transitioning of American Idol into the post–Simon Cowell era. Sometimes preachy, sometimes holier-than-thou, but always lively, An Act of God is the ultimate celebrity autobiography.
In Talking as Fast as I Can, Lauren Graham hits pause for a moment and looks back on her life, sharing laugh-out-loud stories about growing up, starting out as an actress, and, years later, sitting in her trailer on the Parenthood set and asking herself, “Did you, um, make it?” She opens up about the challenges of being single in Hollywood (“Strangers were worried about me; that’s how long I was single!”), the time she was asked to audition her butt for a role, and her experience being a judge on Project Runway (“It’s like I had a fashion-induced blackout”).
In “What It Was Like, Part One,” Graham sits down for an epic Gilmore Girls marathon and reflects on being cast as the fast-talking Lorelai Gilmore. The essay “What It Was Like, Part Two” reveals how it felt to pick up the role again nine years later, and what doing so has meant to her.
Some more things you will learn about Lauren: She once tried to go vegan just to bond with Ellen DeGeneres, she’s aware that meeting guys at awards shows has its pitfalls (“If you’re meeting someone for the first time after three hours of hair, makeup, and styling, you’ve already set the bar too high”), and she’s a card-carrying REI shopper (“My bungee cords now earn points!”).
Including photos and excerpts from the diary Graham kept during the filming of the recent Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, this book is like a cozy night in, catching up with your best friend, laughing and swapping stories, and—of course—talking as fast as you can.
Over six million social media fans can’t be wrong: Miranda Sings is one of the funniest faces on YouTube. As a bumbling, ironically talentless, self-absorbed personality (a young Gilda Radner, if you will), she offers up a vlog of helpful advice every week on her widely popular YouTube channel. For the first time ever, Miranda is putting her advice to paper in this easy-to-follow guide, illustrated by Miranda herself. In it, you’ll find instructions on everything: how to get a boyfriend (wear all black and carry a fishing net), to dressing for a date (sequins and an orange tutu), to performing magic (“Magic is Lying”), and much, much more! Miranda-isms abound in these self-declared lifesaving pages, and if you don’t like it…well, as Miranda would say…“Haters, back off!”
Whip-smart and provocative, Turner explores the United States' vast influence on God, told through an amazing true history of faith, politics, and evangelical pyrotechnics. From Puritans to Pentecostals, from progressives to mega-pastors, Turner examines how American history and ideals transformed our perception of God-for better and worse.
Fearless and funny, this is the definitive guide to the American experience of the Almighty-a story so bizarre and incredible that it could only be made in the U.S.A. Regardless of political affiliation, it will make readers reconsider the way they think about America as a "Christian nation," and help them reimagine a better future for God and country.
With a tongue-in-cheek premise that the book is the result of a recently unearthed account of Jesus's formative years as deciphered by Vatican-authorized experts (that is, cartoonists Smith and Penta), Young Jesus Chronicles is a clever and lighthearted collection of cartoons that celebrates the joy of puns and wordplay as much as it rewards you for paying attention in Sunday Bible school.
We may never know the answer to the question, WWJD (What Would Jesus Draw)? But there's a chance (albeit very slim) the answer might be a cartoon memoir of His childhood similar to Young Jesus Chronicles.
'Twas right before Christmas
And in the White House
A dread plan was hatched
To make Santa a louse
Joe Biden assisted, and Mike Bloomberg too
And before we all knew it, old Saint Nick was through.
The comedic minds behind TheBlaze TV’s hit show, The B.S. of A. with Brian Sack bring you their hilarious vision of Christmas Future—or possibly sooner.
What happens when the Scrooge-iest Washington politicians take on the jolliest soul of all time? Can a scandal-plagued administration distract the American public by bringing Santa to his knees? Can a bumbling bureaucracy destroy the reputation of the most popular man in the Northern Hemisphere? Spoiler alert: YES! And faster than you can say ho-ho-ho!
This is the sad story of the real war on Christmas—and how the NSA, IRS, OSHA and every other acronym in Washington came gunning for the man in red with everything they’ve got: two-thousand page reports on the environmental impact of reindeer farts...unionized elves...suspicious audits...character assassination...and all the other cruel and unusual tactics of an out-of-control government.
Yes Virginia, there was a Santa Claus. This is his story.
These are the thorny questions that Lewis Black, the bitingly funny comedian, social critic, and bestselling author, tackles in his new book, Me of Little Faith. And he's come up with some answers. Or at least his answers. In more than two dozen essays that investigate everything from the differences between how Christians and Jews celebrate their holidays, to the politics of faith, to people's individual search for transcendence, Black explores his unique odyssey through religion and belief.
Growing up as a nonpracticing Jewish kid near Washington, D.C., during the 1950s, Black survived Hebrew school and a bar mitzvah (barely), went to college in the South during the tumultuous 1960s, and witnessed firsthand the unsettling parallels between religious rapture and drug-induced visions (even if none of his friends did). He explored the self-actualization movements of the 1970s (and the self-indulgence that they produced), and since then has turned an increasingly skeptical eye toward the politicians and televangelists who don the cloak of religiouos rectitude to mask their own moral hypocrisy.
What he learned along the way about the inconsistencies and peculiarities of religion infuriated Black, and in Me of Little Faith he gives full vent to his comedic rage. Black explores how the rules and constraints of religion have affected his life and the lives of us all. Hilarious experiences with rabbis, Mormons, gurus, psychics, and even the joy of a perfect round of golf give Black the chance to expound upon what we believe and why—in the language of a shock jock and with the heart of an iconoclast.
"To put it as simply as I can," Black writes, "this is a book about my relationship with religion, where my—dare I say it?—spiritual journey has taken me...what it's meant and not meant to me, and why it makes me laugh." By the end of Me of Little Faith, you'll be a convert.
“These hands are so fast, I can get your wallet before you know it. In a minute, you’ll be standing there buck naked and won’t know what hit you!” “Look here—if it wasn’t for my tripped knee, I’d be playing in the NBA today.” “Hey, Jack!” Any of these sound familiar? If they do—or even if they don’t—you’re in for a good laugh. The brother of patriarch Phil Robertson, Uncle Si has a limitless supply of stories about his childhood, duck hunting adventures, his days in Vietnam, and everything in between. Now the best of those tales are gathered into this roaring book.
And as Uncle Si recounts his outlandish tales, he weaves in an up-close look into his personal life. You’ll learn about his childhood as the youngest son in the Robertson family, his college days, and how he came to use a green Tupperware cup for his ever-present tea.. And in many of these never-before-heard tales, Si openly talks about his wife Christine and two children, Scott and Trasa—who are never seen and rarely mentioned on the show.
Sure to please die-hard fans and curious newbies alike, Si’s one-liners are presented alongside fun, expressive photographs, as well as photos of his family. As you learn about his behind-the-scenes life, this smattering of zany stories will have you falling over with laughter and retelling them to all your friends.
Four bargain-priced bestsellers in one box!
This box set includes:
Welcome to Hell (Mel Goes to Hell #1)
See You in Hell (Mel Goes to Hell #2)
Mel Goes to Hell (Mel Goes to Hell #3)
Melody Angel's Guide to Heaven and Hell
Welcome to Hell:
"Good morning. Welcome to HELL."
Mel hates job interviews - and this one's shaping up to be the interview from Hell.
From the grumpy receptionist to the disturbingly demonic interview panel and the sleazy CEO, it seems landing her first job is the least of Mel's worries.
Can she make it out of the office alive without selling her soul?
See You in Hell:
Melody Angel takes a job as a temp at the HELL Corporation. Surrounded by eternal bureaucracy gone mad, demons who love making life miserable, and dying for a decent coffee, it may take a miracle for Mel's mission to succeed. She must find out what evil plans Lucifer and his minions have in store and stop them, using any means necessary.
Adding trouble and temptation to Mel's job is Luce Iblis, the damnably hot CEO, who has set his smouldering eyes on the new office angel and he's determined to claim her, body and soul.
Can ultimate evil and angelic perfection escape a limbo of desire and find a paradise of their own?
Mel Goes to Hell:
The ultimate forbidden love - when Lucifer falls for an angel.
Luce and Mel unearth an age-old conspiracy behind his fall from Heaven which could doom their love for eternity. Yet in the deepest levels of Hell lies a secret that could hold their salvation.
Eternal damnation awaits any angel who descends into the Pit of Despair, but Mel will move Heaven and Earth to save Lucifer's soul. Armed with little more than the fury of a righteous angel, Mel will raise Hell in the name of love.
From the heights of Heaven to the depths of Hell, can love truly conquer all?
A tiny taste of what's in store:
"Do you know how long you've made me wait?" Luce lifted his chin. "Close the door."
Mel turned and kicked the door shut with the sole of one shoe. The click of it closing coincided with her eyes meeting Luce's once more.
"Now strip and get your arse on the desk," Luce instructed.
Mel stared at him. He couldn't be serious, could he?
"Every other girl in this building knows how to do as she's told. Do you know how many girls I've had on this desk? You should consider yourself lucky. The last one I had in here was so quick getting undressed that I managed to give her a full fifteen minutes of my time. At this rate, you'll be lucky to have five."
Mel became transfixed by the timber desktop. "Did you wipe it clean afterwards?"
"What?" Luce's face reddened.
Keywords: Dark comedy, Satire, new adult, supernatural, workplace romance, satirical office humour, angels and demons, paranormal romance, business and political humour, CEO secretary romance, redemption, Lucifer, Heaven, Hell
“Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”
Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night.
Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.
What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you’ve got another bestselling book on your hands.
Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to “some next-level shit.”
You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking:
• What’s it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets?
• What does it do to a man to watch a nineteen-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does?
• At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job?
• When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name on her body, what is the appropriate reaction?
The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences:
His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.
Since the dawn of history man has searched for the answer to the most fundamental of questions: “Why am I here…not banging chicks?” The search is over. Now, with the help of The Playbook, you’ll be able to approach any beautiful woman, discover her innermost passion, and use that to trick her into sleeping with you. You’ll master more than seventy-five seduction techniques, developed by pickup guru and all-around good guy Barney Stinson, guaranteed to turn you into a bona fide ladies’ man. Featuring the famous plays including:
· The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
· Mrs. Stinsfire
· The Ted Mosby
· The Time Traveler
· The “SNASA”
· The Scuba Diver
· The “He’s Not Coming”
…and other greatest hits from Barney Stinson’s secret Playbook of legendary moves. So suit up and get ready to be schooled in awesomeness.
By the host of The Grace Helbig Show on E! and the it’sGrace YouTube channel, comedian Grace Helbig offers an irreverent and illustrated guide to life for anyone faced with the challenge of growing up.
Infused with her trademark saucy, sweet, and funny voice, Grace’s Guide is a tongue-in-cheek handbook for millennials, encompassing everything a young or new (or regular or old) adult needs to know, from how to live online to landing a job to surviving a breakup to decorating a first apartment, and much more. Charmingly illustrated, Grace’s Guide features full-color photos, interactive worksheets, and exclusive stories from Grace’s own misadventures, including her disastrous interview for NBC’s Page Program, her lifelong struggles with anxiety, the first (and also last) time she entered a beauty pageant, meeting her first boyfriend at a high school Latin convention, and many other hilarious lessons she learned the hard way.
Amusing and unexpectedly educational, this refreshing and colorful guide proves that becoming an adult doesn’t necessarily mean you have to grow up.
Just because you don't feel like an adult doesn't mean you can't act like one. And it all begins with this funny, wise, and useful book. Based on Kelly Williams Brown's popular blog, ADULTING makes the scary, confusing "real world" approachable, manageable-and even conquerable. This guide will help you to navigate the stormy Sea of Adulthood so that you may find safe harbor in Not Running Out of Toilet Paper Bay, and along the way you will learn:
What to check for when renting a new apartment-Not just the nearby bars, but the faucets and stove, among other things.When a busy person can find time to learn more about the world- It involves the intersection of NPR and hair-straightening.How to avoid hooking up with anyone in your office -- Imagine your coworkers having plastic, featureless doll crotches. It helps.The secret to finding a mechanic you love-Or, more realistically, one that will not rob you blind.From breaking up with frenemies to fixing your toilet, this way fun comprehensive handbook is the answer for aspiring grown-ups of all ages.
Brittany Gibbons has been a plus size her whole life. But instead of hiding herself in the shadows of thinner women, Brittany became a wildly popular blogger and national spokesmodel—known for stripping on stage at TedX and standing in Times Square in a bikini on national television, and making skinny people everywhere uncomfortable.
Talking honestly about size and body image on her popular blog, brittanyherself.com, she has ignited a national conversation. Now in her first book, she shares hilarious and painfully true stories about her life as a weird overweight girl growing up in rural Ohio, struggling with dating and relationships, giving the middle finger to dieting, finding love with a man smaller than her, accidentally having three kids, and figuring out the secret to loving her curves and becoming a nationally recognized body image advocate. And there’s sex, lots of it!
Fat Girl Walking isn’t a diet book. It isn’t one of those former fat people memoirs about how someone battled, and won, in the fight against fat. Brittany doesn’t lose all the weight and reveal the happy, skinny girl that’s been hiding inside her. Instead, she reminds us that being chubby doesn’t mean you’ll end up alone, unhappy, or the subject of a cable medical show. What’s important is learning to love your shape. With her infectious humor and soul-baring honesty, Fat Girl Walking reveals a life full of the same heartbreak, joy, oddity, awkwardness, and wonder as anyone else’s. Just with better snacks.
Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood.
Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is good good good good!
CHELSEA HANDLER ON...
Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy."
Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up."
Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life."
Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
In this universally accessible New York Times bestseller named for her wildly popular web series, Issa Rae—“a singular voice with the verve and vivacity of uncorked champagne” (Kirkus Reviews)—waxes humorously on what it’s like to be unabashedly awkward in a world that regards introverts as hapless misfits and black as cool.
I’m awkward—and black. Someone once told me those were the two worst things anyone could be. That someone was right. Where do I start?
Being an introvert (as well as “funny,” according to the Los Angeles Times) in a world that glorifies cool isn’t easy. But when Issa Rae, the creator of the Shorty Award-winning hit series The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, is that introvert—whether she’s navigating love, the workplace, friendships, or “rapping”—it sure is entertaining. Now, in this New York Times bestselling debut collection written in her witty and self-deprecating voice, Rae covers everything from cybersexing in the early days of the Internet to deflecting unsolicited comments on weight gain, from navigating the perils of eating out alone and public displays of affection to learning to accept yourself—natural hair and all.
The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl is a book no one—awkward or cool, black, white, or other—will want to miss.