You can take the job you have—and improve it!
You can take any situation—and make it work for you!
Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you:
-Six ways to make people like you
-Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking
-Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment
And much more! Achieve your maximum potential—a must-read for the twenty-first century with more than 15 million copies sold!
It is a scientific fact that people’s gestures give away their true intentions. Yet most of us don’t know how to read body language–and don’t realize how our own physical movements speak to others. Now the world’s foremost experts on the subject share their techniques for reading body language signals to achieve success in every area of life.
Drawing upon more than thirty years in the field, as well as cutting-edge research from evolutionary biology, psychology, and medical technologies that demonstrate what happens in the brain, the authors examine each component of body language and give you the basic vocabulary to read attitudes and emotions through behavior.
• How palms and handshakes are used to gain control
• The most common gestures of liars
• How the legs reveal what the mind wants to do
• The most common male and female courtship gestures and signals
• The secret signals of cigarettes, glasses, and makeup
• The magic of smiles–including smiling advice for women
• How to use nonverbal cues and signals to communicate more effectively and get the reactions you want
Filled with fascinating insights, humorous observations, and simple strategies that you can apply to any situation, this intriguing book will enrich your communication with and understanding of others–as well as yourself.
From the Hardcover edition.
In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.
Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.
In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
*ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.
*AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
*SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.
Robert Greene’s groundbreaking guides, The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, and Mastery espouse profound, timeless lessons from the events of history to help readers vanquish an enemy, ensnare an unsuspecting victim, or become the greatest in your field. In The 33 Strategies of War, Greene has crafted an important addition to this ruthless and unique series.
Spanning world civilizations, synthesizing dozens of political, philosophical, and religious texts and thousands of years of violent conflict, The 33 Strategies of War is a comprehensive guide to the subtle social game of everyday life informed by the most ingenious and effective military principles in war. Structured in Greene’s trademark style, The 33 Strategies of War is the I-Ching of conflict, the contemporary companion to Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.
Abundantly illustrated with examples from history, including the folly and genius of everyone from Napoleon to Margaret Thatcher, Shaka the Zulu to Lord Nelson, Hannibal to Ulysses S. Grant, as well as movie moguls, Samurai swordsmen, and diplomats, each of the thirty-three chapters outlines a strategy that will help you win life’s wars. Learn the offensive strategies that require you to maintain the initiative and negotiate from a position of strength, or the defensive strategies designed to help you respond to dangerous situations and avoid unwinnable wars. The great warriors of battlefields and drawing rooms alike demonstrate prudence, agility, balance, and calm, and a keen understanding that the rational, resourceful, and intuitive always defeat the panicked, the uncreative, and the stupid. An indispensable book, The 33 Strategies of War provides all the psychological ammunition you need to overcome patterns of failure and forever gain the upper hand.
From the Hardcover edition.
An instant bestseller that is poised to become a classic, Moonwalking with Einstein recounts Joshua Foer's yearlong quest to improve his memory under the tutelage of top "mental athletes." He draws on cutting-edge research, a surprising cultural history of remembering, and venerable tricks of the mentalist's trade to transform our understanding of human memory. From the United States Memory Championship to deep within the author's own mind, this is an electrifying work of journalism that reminds us that, in every way that matters, we are the sum of our memories.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
The legendary tale of top-down change for anyone trying to navigate today's uncertain business seas.
When Captain Abrashoff took over as commander of USS Benfold, it was like a business that had all the latest technology but only some of the productivity. Knowing that responsibility for improving performance rested with him, he realized he had to improve his own leadership skills before he could improve his ship. Within months, he created a crew of confident and inspired problem-solvers eager to take the initiative and responsibility for their actions. The slogan on board became "It's your ship," and Benfold was soon recognized far and wide as a model of naval efficiency. How did Abrashoff do it? Against the backdrop of today's United States Navy, Abrashoff shares his secrets of successful management including:
See the ship through the eyes of the crew: By soliciting a sailor's suggestions, Abrashoff drastically reduced tedious chores that provided little additional value. Communicate, communicate, communicate: The more Abrashoff communicated the plan, the better the crew's performance. His crew eventually started calling him "Megaphone Mike," since they heard from him so often. Create discipline by focusing on purpose: Discipline skyrocketed when Abrashoff's crew believed that what they were doing was important. Listen aggressively: After learning that many sailors wanted to use the GI Bill, Abrashoff brought a test official aboard the ship-and held the SATs forty miles off the Iraqi coast. From achieving amazing cost savings to winning the highest gunnery score in the Pacific Fleet, Captain Abrashoff's extraordinary campaign sent shock waves through the U.S. Navy. It can help you change the course of your ship, no matter where your business battles are fought.
Whether you are a student struggling to fulfill a math or science requirement, or you are embarking on a career change that requires a new skill set, A Mind for Numbers offers the tools you need to get a better grasp of that intimidating material. Engineering professor Barbara Oakley knows firsthand how it feels to struggle with math. She flunked her way through high school math and science courses, before enlisting in the army immediately after graduation. When she saw how her lack of mathematical and technical savvy severely limited her options—both to rise in the military and to explore other careers—she returned to school with a newfound determination to re-tool her brain to master the very subjects that had given her so much trouble throughout her entire life.
In A Mind for Numbers, Dr. Oakley lets us in on the secrets to learning effectively—secrets that even dedicated and successful students wish they’d known earlier. Contrary to popular belief, math requires creative, as well as analytical, thinking. Most people think that there’s only one way to do a problem, when in actuality, there are often a number of different solutions—you just need the creativity to see them. For example, there are more than three hundred different known proofs of the Pythagorean Theorem. In short, studying a problem in a laser-focused way until you reach a solution is not an effective way to learn. Rather, it involves taking the time to step away from a problem and allow the more relaxed and creative part of the brain to take over. The learning strategies in this book apply not only to math and science, but to any subject in which we struggle. We all have what it takes to excel in areas that don't seem to come naturally to us at first, and learning them does not have to be as painful as we might think!
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams? Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water? Are you "too shy" or "too sensitive" according to others? Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you? If your answers are yes, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
Most of us feel overstimulated every once in a while, but for the HSP, it's a way of life. In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Elaine Aron, a clinical psychologist, workshop leader, and an HSP herself, shows you how to identify this trait in yourself and make the most of it in everyday situations. Drawing on her many years of research and hundreds of interviews, she shows how you can better understand yourself and your trait to create a fuller, richer life. Updated with a new Author's Note, including the latest scientific research, and a fresh discussion of anti-depressants for HSPs, this edition of The Highly Sensitive Person also includes:
Self-assessment tests to help you identify your particular sensitivities
Ways to reframe your past experiences in a positive light and gain greater self-esteem in the process
Insight into how high sensitivity affects both work and personal relationships
Tips on how to deal with overarousal
Information on medications and when to seek help
Techniques to enrich the soul and spirit
"Elaine Aron's perceptive analysis of this fundamental dimension of human nature is must reading. Her balanced presentation suggests new paths for making sensitivity a blessing, not a handicap." —Philip G. Zimbardo, author of Shyness
"Enlightening and empowering, this book is a wonderful gift to us all." –Riane Ensler, author of The Chalice and the Blade
Imagine how different your life would be if you could tell whether someone was lying or telling you the truth. Be it hiring a new employee, investing in a financial interest, speaking with your child about drugs, confronting your significant other about suspected infidelity, or even dating someone new, having the ability to unmask a lie can have far-reaching and even life-altering consequences.
As former CIA officers, Philip Houston, Michael Floyd, and Susan Carnicero are among the world's best at recognizing deceptive behavior. Spy the Lie chronicles the captivating story of how they used a methodology Houston developed to detect deception in the counterterrorism and criminal investigation realms, and shows how these techniques can be applied in our daily lives.
Through fascinating anecdotes from their intelligence careers, the authors teach readers how to recognize deceptive behaviors, both verbal and nonverbal, that we all tend to display when we respond to questions untruthfully. For the first time, they share with the general public their methodology and their secrets to the art of asking questions that elicit the truth.
Spy the Lie is a game-changer. You may never read another book that has a more dramatic impact on your career, your relationships, or your future.
The legendary leader in the field of human behavior delivers the national bestselling, must-read phenomenon that changed the rules. Utilizing the latest advancements in human behavior, Dr. Lieberman's critically acclaimed techniques show you step-by-step how to gain the clear advantage in every situation.
Get anyone to find you attractive
Get the instant advantage in any relationship
Get anyone to take your advice
Get a stubborn person to change his mind about anything
Get anyone to do a favor for you
Get anyone to return your phone call
Stop verbal abuse instantly
Get anyone to confide in you and confess anything
From the Paperback edition.
For those who’ve despaired of ever learning a foreign language, here, finally, is a book that will make the words stick. At thirty years old, Gabriel Wyner speaks six languages fluently. He didn’t learn them in school -- who does? -- rather, he learned them in the past few years, working on his own and practicing on the subway, using simple techniques and free online resources. In Fluent Forever Wyner reveals what he’s discovered.
The greatest challenge to learning a foreign language is the challenge of memory; there are just too many words and too many rules. For every new word we learn, we seem to forget two old ones, and as a result, fluency can seem out of reach. Fluent Forever tackles this challenge head-on. With empathy for the language-challenged and abundant humor, Wyner deconstructs the learning process, revealing how to build a foreign language in your mind from the ground up.
Starting with pronunciation, you’ll learn how to rewire your ears and turn foreign sounds into familiar sounds. You'll retrain your tongue to produce those sounds accurately, using tricks from opera singers and actors. Next, you'll begin to tackle words, and connect sounds and spellings to imagery, rather than translations, which will enable you to think in a foreign language. And with the help of sophisticated spaced-repetition techniques, you'll be able to memorize hundreds of words a month in minutes every day. Soon, you'll gain the ability to learn grammar and more difficult abstract words--without the tedious drills and exercises of language classes and grammar books.
This is brain hacking at its most exciting, taking what we know about neuroscience and linguistics and using it to create the most efficient and enjoyable way to learn a foreign language in the spare minutes of your day.
–Los Angeles Family
When Tracy Hogg’s Secrets of the Baby Whisperer was first published, it soared onto bestseller lists across the country. Parents everywhere became “whisperers” to their newborns, amazed that they could actually communicate with their baby within weeks of their child’s birth. Tracy gave parents what for some amounted to a miracle: the ability to understand their baby’s every coo and cry so that they could tell immediately if the baby was hungry, tired, in real distress, or just in need of a little TLC. Tracy also dispelled the insidious myth that parents must go sleepless for the first year of a baby’s life–because a happy baby sleeps through the night. Now you too can benefit from Tracy’s more than twenty years’ experience. In this groundbreaking book, she shares simple, accessible programs in which you will learn:
• E.A.S.Y.–how to get baby to eat, play, and sleep on a schedule that will make every member of the household’s life easier and happier.
• S.L.O.W.–how to interpret what your baby is trying to tell you (so you don’t try to feed him when he really wants a nap).
• How to identify which type of baby yours is–Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Spirited, or Grumpy–and then learn the best way to interact with that type.
• Tracy’s Three Day Magic–how to change any and all bad habits (yours and the baby’s) in just three days.
At the heart of Tracy’s simple but profound message: treat the baby as you would like to be treated yourself. Reassuring, down-to-earth, and often flying in the face of conventional wisdom, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer promises parents not only a healthier, happier baby but a more relaxed and happy household as well.
People--friends, family members, work colleagues, salespeople--lie to us all the time. Daily, hourly, constantly. None of us is immune, and all of us are victims. According to studies by several different researchers, most of us encounter nearly 200 lies a day.
Now there's something we can do about it. Pamela Meyer's Liespotting links three disciplines--facial recognition training, interrogation training, and a comprehensive survey of research in the field--into a specialized body of information developed specifically to help business leaders detect deception and get the information they need to successfully conduct their most important interactions and transactions.
Some of the nation's leading business executives have learned to use these methods to root out lies in high stakes situations. Liespotting for the first time brings years of knowledge--previously found only in the intelligence community, police training academies, and universities--into the corporate boardroom, the manager's meeting, the job interview, the legal proceeding, and the deal negotiation.
WHAT'S IN THE BOOK?
Learn communication secrets previously known only to a handful of scientists, interrogators and intelligence specialists.
Liespotting reveals what's hiding in plain sight in every business meeting, job interview and negotiation:
- The single most dangerous facial expression to watch out for in business & personal relationships
- 10 questions that get people to tell you anything
- A simple 5-step method for spotting and stopping the lies told in nearly every high-stakes business negotiation and interview
- Dozens of postures and facial expressions that should instantly put you on Red Alert for deception
- The telltale phrases and verbal responses that separate truthful stories from deceitful ones
- How to create a circle of advisers who will guarantee your success
Will the trust ever come back?
How can things be good between us again?
Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged.
In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.
This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" -- and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.
Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.
Through their stories we come to appreciate the near-miraculous ways in which the dying communicate their needs, reveal their feelings, and even choreograph their own final moments; we also discover the gifts—of wisdom, faith, and love—that the dying leave for the living to share.
Filled with practical advice on responding to the requests of the dying and helping them prepare emotionally and spiritually for death, Final Gifts shows how we can help the dying person live fully to the very end.
Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.
This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction.Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.
After dispelling common myths about introverts-they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--The Introvert Advantage explains the real issues. Introverts are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation-chitchat, phone calls, parties, office meetings-can easily become "too much."
The Introvert Advantage dispels introverts' belief that something is wrong with them and instead helps them recognize their inner strengths-their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It helps readers understand introversion and shows them how to determine where they fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, offering dozens of tips, including 10 ways to talk less and communicate more, 8 ways to showcase your abilities at work, how to take a child's temperament temperature, and strategies for socializing. Finally, it shows how to not just survive, but thrive-how to take advantage of the introvert's special qualities to create a life that's just right for the introvert temperament, to discover new ways to expand their energy reserves, and even how, when necessary, to confidently become a temporary extrovert.
This complete summary of the ideas from Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" shows that no matter your occupation, goals, ambitions or your position in a company, dealing with people is your biggest challenge. Therefore, if you learn how to do so effectively you will reap the rewards in terms of profitability, productivity and morale. This summary highlights how to work with rather than against people, and how to be successful in your personal and professional life.
Added-value of this summary:
• Save time
• Understand the key concepts
• Improve your social and communication skills
To learn more, read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and discover how to motivate people and how to communicate efficiently.
Do you know one of these men?
The catch-me-if-you-can lover...
Phil’s romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next.
The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...
Jack denies resenting Nora’s rapid rise in the company, but when they’re assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her.
The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...
Bob keeps telling his wife he’ll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it.
These are all classic examples of the passive-aggressive man. This personality syndrome—in which hostility wears a mask of passivity—is currently the number one source of men’s problems in relationships and on the job. In Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, Scott Wetzler draws upon numerous case histories from his own practice to explain how and why the passive-aggressive man thinks, feels, and acts the way he does. Dr. Wetzler also offers advice on:
• How to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the “P-A”
• How to get his anger and fear into the open
• How to help the “P-A” become a better lover, husband, and father
• How to survive passive-aggressive game playing on the job
Living with a man’s passive aggression can be an emotional seesaw ride. But armed with this book, you can avoid the bumpy landings.
Providing clear, no-nonsense solutions for many difficult dating/relationship problems, this is an invaluable guide for any man who?s been stymied by the ?rules? of the dating game.
Intended for single or divorced men, it delivers specific, detailed advice on how and where to meet women, how to talk to them, how to ask a woman out, how to prepare for a date and keep the conversation flowing. It explains how to be a success romantically, revealing the five keys and five blocks to intimacy that can keep a relationship going or derail it completely. Readers will also learn how to know if she?s the one?and know when it?s over.
The master teacher of positive change through powerful communication, Susan Scott wants you to succeed. To do that, she explains, you must transform everyday conversations at work and at home with effective ways to get your message across—and get what you want. In this guide, which includes a workbook and The Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations, Scott teaches you how to:
• Overcome barriers to meaningful communication
• Expand and enrich relationships with colleagues, friends, and family
• Increase clarity and improve understanding
• Handle strong emotions—on both sides of the table
• Connect with colleagues, customers and family at a deep level
Includes a Foreword by Ken Blanchard, the bestselling co-author of The One Minute Manager
The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love.
I Need Your Love—Is That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.
“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.
This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron Katie
From the Hardcover edition.
And it works: The feedback Boothman has received from a number of his clients begins, "Please come to my wedding. . . ." Starting with a series of revealing self-assessment tests that show how to find your Matched Opposite (a person who makes you feel complete), here is how to make a fabulous first impression, with tips on everything from attitude to accessories; how to be charming, not alarming; introductions, opening lines, and the 1-2-3 mantra of never hesitating. There are techniques for starting and maintaining conversation and for finding "Me Too" moments, plus the importance of flirting, incidental touching, rules of self-disclosure, and more. Real-life examples and analyses of actual conversations show the method at work.
Life’s Greatest Lessons is a wise, wonderful book. In it, Hal Urban, a parent and an award-winning teacher, presents twenty principles that are as deeply rooted in common sense as they are in compassion. The topics, gathered from a lifetime of teaching both children and adults, span a wide range of readily understood concepts, including attitudes about money, understanding the real meaning of “success,” and the importance of having fun. The book will help you find the best—in the world, in others, and in yourself. Classic in its simplicity and enduring in its appeal, Life’s Greatest Lessons helps us all rediscover that the desire to live a good life is timeless.
• How to overcome shyness and put other people at ease
• How to choose an appropriate conversation topic for any situation
• How to ace a job interview, run a meeting, and mingle at a cocktail party
• What the most successful conversationalists have in common
• The one great question you can ask to enhance your conversation with anyone, anytime, anywhere
From the Hardcover edition.
We all have someone we can’t get along with—whether it’s a friend or colleague who complains constantly; a relentlessly critical boss; an obnoxious neighbor; a teenager who pouts and slams doors, all the while insisting she’s not upset; or a loving, but irritating spouse. In Feeling Good Together, Dr. David Burns presents Cognitive Interpersonal Therapy, a radical new approach that will help you transform troubled, conflicted relationships into successful, happy ones.
Dr. Burns’ method for improving these relationships is easy and surprisingly effective. In Feeling Good Together, you’ll learn how to:
- Stop pointing fingers at everyone else and start looking at yourself.
- Pinpoint the exact cause of the problem with any person you’re not getting along with.
- And solve virtually any kind of relationship conflict almost instantly.
Filled with helpful examples and brilliant, user-friendly tools such as the Relationship Satisfaction Test, the Relationship Journal, the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, the Intimacy Exercise, and more, Feeling Good Together will help you enjoy far more loving and satisfying relationships with the people you care about.
You deserve rewarding, intimate relationships. Feeling Good Together will show you how.
The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness; Disable the Enabler; and Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes. Hands-on exercises are featured, enabling readers to better understand themselves.
A groundbreaking, interactive relationship tool that literally places in the hands of couples the power to transform chronically frustrating relationship dynamics.
We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love.
A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I'm someone you love,” and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others.
This book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life," written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include:
• Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?"
• Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?"
• Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are."
A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing.
What, more than anything, makes you angry?
Who were your childhood idols?
What kind of leader are you most inclined to follow?
What has happened to the art of conversation? In the age of Internet chat rooms, speed dating, and frantic text messaging, have we forgotten how to meaningfully connect? This book of 4,000 provocative questions will help you get to know anyone and everyone in every social situation. Use it to go beyond small talk at parties, networking events, dates, dinner tables, and road trips. It's for getting to know someone you just met and learning a lot more about someone you thought you already knew (who may be yourself).
·A perfect social tool for the Internet generation
·Features thematic sections on lifestyle choices, pastimes, politics, family, and more
·A resource for self-discovery and for journalists and writers doing interviews and developing characters, plots, and story lines
Written by the creators of the #1 bestselling course of the same name, this book will teach you how to "hack" your learning, reading, and memory skills, empowering you to learn everything faster and more effectively.
This Book Will Teach You 3 Major Skills:Speed reading with high (80%+) comprehension and understandingMemory techniques for storing and recalling vast amounts of information quickly and accuratelyDeveloping the cognitive infrastructure to support this flood of new information long-termHowever, the SuperLearning skills you'll learn in this course are applicable to many aspects of your every day life, from remembering phone numbers to acquiring new skills or even speaking new languages.
Anyone Can Develop Super-Learning SkillsThis course is about improving your ability to learn new skills or information quickly and effectively. We go far beyond the kinds of "speed reading" (or glorified skimming) you may have been exposed to, diving into the actual cognitive and neurological factors that make learning easier and more successful. We also give you advanced memory techniques to grapple with the huge loads of information you'll soon be able to process.
"This book should be the go-to reference for anyone looking to upgrade their mind's firmware!"
-Benny Lewis, Language Learning Expert
Learn How to Absorb and Retain Information in a Whole New Way - A Faster, Better Way
The Authors' Proprietary Method for Teaching Speed Reading & Memory ImprovementÂ You may have even taken a normal speed reading course in the past, only to realize that you didn't retain anything you read. The sad irony is that in order to properly learn things like speed reading skills and memory techniques in the past, you had to read dozens of books and psychological journals to decode the science behind it. Or, you had to hire an expensive private tutor who specializes in SuperLearning. That's what I did. And it changed my life.
Fortunately, my co-authors (experts and innovators in the fields of superlearning, memory improvement, and speed reading) agreed to help me transform their materials into the first ever digital course. Over 25,000 satisfied students later, we have transformed our course into a book you can enjoy anywhere.
Our teaching methodology relies heavily on at-home exercises. The chapters themselves are only part of what you're buying. You will be practicing various exercises and assignments on a regular basis over the course a 7 week schedule.
In addition to the lectures, there are hours of supplemental video and articles which are considered part of the curriculum.
"This vital book contains all the tools needed to learn, memorize, and reproduce anything you want with the joy that ease brings. Don't take another class until you've read it!"
-Dr. Anthony Metivier, Author & Memory Expert
If you wish to improve memory and concentration, learn more effectively, read faster, and learn the techniques of memory champions - look no further!
An awesome read that will push the limits of your brain. Levi does an incredible job of guiding you through, to bring your brain from average to UNSTOPPABLE!"
-Nelson Dellis, 4-Time USA Memory Champion
In his book, Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his bestselling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now, in his breakthrough new book Talking to Crazy, he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all—the downright irrational.
As a psychiatrist, Goulston has seen his share of crazy and he knows from experience that you can’t simply argue it away. The key to handling irrational people is to learn to lean into the crazy—to empathize with it. That radically changes the dynamic and transforms you from a threat into an ally. Talking to Crazy explains this counterintuitive Sanity Cycle and reveals:
Why people act the way they doHow instinctive responses can exacerbate the situation—and what to do insteadWhen to confront a problem and when to walk awayHow to use a range of proven techniques including Time Travel, the Fish-bowl, and the Belly RollAnd much more
You can’t reason with unreasonable people—but you can reach them. This powerful and practical book shows you how.
Recent advances in brain science show that most students' learning strategies are highly inefficient, ineffective or just plain wrong. While all learning requires effort, better learning does not require more effort, but rather effectively aligning how the brain naturally learns with the demands of your studies. This book shows you what is involved in learning new material, how the human brain processes new information, and what it takes for that information to stick with you even after the test.
* Think Twice Before Asking Favors
* Give Constructive Criticism
* Refrain from Idle Complaints
* Respect Others' Opinions
* Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame
* Care for Your Guests
* Accept and Give Praise
Finally, Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice and so make life-and the lives of others-more enjoyable, companionable, and rewarding.
Choosing Civility is a simple, practical, perfectly measured, and quietly magical handbook on the lost art of civility and compassion.
Written by psychologist and bestselling author Matthew McKay, The Interpersonal Problems Workbook combines research and evidence-based techniques for strengthening relationships in all areas in life—whether it’s at home, at work, with a significant other, a parent, or a child. The skills in this workbook are based in both schema therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and are designed to help you connect and communicate effectively with those around them.
ACT has been proven effective in helping people improve their relationships with others. The ACT skills detailed in this book include present moment awareness, diffusion, and flexibility—all of which will help you to improve your relationships with others. In this book you will learn what your schema is, and how to act on your values to communicate and get along with others.
If you are ready to stop building walls and start connecting with those around you, this book presents powerful, effective tools for change.
Using extensive interviews with people from ages twenty-five to seventy, Isay shows that we’re far from alone in our struggles to make this new, adult relationship work. She offers up groundbreaking insights and deeply moving stories that will inspire those in even the toughest situations. Isay’s warmth and wit shine through on every page as she charts an invaluable course through the confusing, and often painful, interactions parents and children can face. Walking on Eggshells is the much-needed road map that will keep you connected to the people you love most.
Are you curious how to get or keep the job of your dreams?
Do you want to become a more popular person?
This book will show you how to do all that by raising your likeability factor—or how much other people like you.
After all, life is a series of popularity contests. The choices other people make about you determine your health, wealth, and happiness. And decades of research prove that people choose who they like. They vote for them, they buy from them, they marry them, and they spend precious time with them.
The good news is that you can arm yourself for the contest and win life’s battles for preference. How? By being likeable.
The more you are liked—or the higher your likeability factor—the happier your life will be. This book will show you how to raise that likeability factor by teaching you how to boost four critical elements of your personality:
•Friendliness: your ability to communicate liking and openness to others
•Relevance: your capacity to connect with others’ interests, wants, and needs
•Empathy: your ability to recognize, acknowledge, and experience other people’s feelings
•Realness: the integrity that stands behind your likeability and guarantees its authenticity
What happens when you improve in these areas and boost your likeability factor?
•You bring out the best in others
•You survive life’s challenges
•You have better health—and even improve others’ health, too
•You outperform in your daily roles
•You win the popularity contests that define your life
Join me for a few hours and I’ll share the results of hundreds of thousands of pages of research, numerous seminars, and hundreds of interviews with people just like you! Together let’s build our likeability factor and improve our lives!
Also available as a Random House AudioBook
From the Hardcover edition.
In this updated edition, parents will learn how to face new challenges, including defiance resulting from excessive technology use (even to the point of addiction) and the stress of modern family life. Dr. Bernstein explains what causes defiance in kids and why it’s so destructive to the family, then offers parents a step–by–step guide on how to reduce conflict and end upsetting behaviors.
From the Paperback edition.
Stand up to anyone -- without fighting.
Blunt a sniper's attack.
Get a clam to talk.
Cut off a Sherman tank at the pass.
Get stallers off the dime.
Move a complainer into a problem-solving mode.
Learn the six basic steps that allow you to cope with just about anyone. Reclaim the power the rightfully belongs to you in any relationship!
Do you feel awkward at networking events? Do you wonder what your date really thinks of you? Do you wish you could decode people? You need to learn the science of people.
As a human behavior hacker, Vanessa Van Edwards created a research lab to study the hidden forces that drive us. And she’s cracked the code. In Captivate, she shares shortcuts, systems, and secrets for taking charge of your interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These aren’t the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science backed, real life manual on how to captivate anyone—and a completely new approach to building connections.
Just like knowing the formulas to use in a chemistry lab, or the right programming language to build an app, Captivate provides simple ways to solve people problems. You’ll learn, for example…
· How to work a room: Every party, networking event, and social situation has a predictable map. Discover the sweet spot for making the most connections.
· How to read faces: It’s easier than you think to speed-read facial expressions and use them to predict people’s emotions.
· How to talk to anyone: Every conversation can be memorable—once you learn how certain words generate the pleasure hormone dopamine in listeners.
When you understand the laws of human behavior, your influence, impact, and income will increase significantly. What’s more, you will improve your interpersonal intelligence, make a killer first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in any situation—negotiations, interviews, parties, and pitches. You’ll never interact the same way again.
When you communicate with others, everything that makes you unique comes into play. From your appearance to your voice, from your beliefs to your life experience, you're constantly sending signals about the kind of person you are. All of these signals, such as your facial expressions, your body movements, your vocal pitch, and more, are powerful and important in convincing others of your message.
In You Are the Message, Roger Ailes argues that each and every one of us has the tools within us to persuade and influence others. And in this practical, sensible and entertaining book, you'll learn how to present a message so compelling that even your most stubborn detractor will see the merit of your ideas.
Berit Brogaard, PhD, and Kristian Marlow, MA, study people with astonishing talents—memory champions, human echolocators, musical virtuosos, math geniuses, and synesthetes who taste colors and hear faces. But as amazing as these abilities are, they are not mysterious. Our brains constantly process a huge amount of information below our awareness, and what these gifted individuals have in common is that through practice, injury, an innate brain disorder, or even more unusual circumstances, they have managed to gain a degree of conscious access to this potent processing power.
The Superhuman Mind takes us inside the lives and brains of geniuses, savants, virtuosos, and a wide variety of ordinary people who have acquired truly extraordinary talents, one way or another. Delving into the neurological underpinnings of these abilities, the authors even reveal how we can acquire some of them ourselves—from perfect pitch and lightning fast math skills to supercharged creativity.
The Superhuman Mind is a book full of the fascinating science readers look for from the likes of Oliver Sacks, combined with the exhilarating promise of Moonwalking with Einstein.
psychiatrist and researcher
An estimated 5.3 million Americans experience social anxiety disorder, making it the third most common psychiatric illness in the United States. Unlike people with simple shyness, people with social anxiety disorder become sick with fear in social situations, experiencing physical symptoms like sweating, trembling, a shaky voice, or a pounding heart. They realize their fears are irrational, but they are virtually incapable of maintaining healthy relationships and performing everyday tasks in public settings without medical treatment.
In Coping with Social Anxiety, Eric Hollander, director of the Compulsive, Impulsive, and Anxiety Disorders Program at the Mt. Sinai Medical Center explains
- the nature of social anxiety disorder and how it differs from
simple shyness and phobia
- the latest research on the physiological effects of social anxiety
disorder and its links with depression
- the full range of treatment options-and how to select the best
therapeutic course with the help of a medical professional
Illustrated by accounts of successful treatment from Hollander's clinical practice, this book will help readers make informed judgments about the proper treatment to seek for themselves or someone close to them.
Over 1 million copies sold
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
Small-talk expert Don Gabor has completely revised and updated this definitive guide, showing how to combine essential techniques in the art of conversation with necessary skills for communicating in the twenty-first century. By following the simple and dynamic guidelines in this easy-to-read book, you’ll be ready to strike up a great conversation anytime, anywhere—whether you’re at a cocktail party or chatting online. Learn how to keep the conversation going by asking the right questions, using body language effectively, and avoiding conversation pitfalls. Combining his tried-and-true methods with a whole new section on communicating online and through social networking, Don Gabor shows you how to:
· Identify your personal conversation style
· Engage in online conversations using proper etiquette and security
· Turn online conversations into face-to-face relationships
· Boost your personal and professional speaking skills to the next level
Packed with charts, hundreds of opening lines, real-life examples, FAQs, helpful hints, and solid professional advice, How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends will help you connect with others at home, work, online, in person, and everywhere in between.
When someone you know is hurting, you want to let her know that you care. But many people don’t know what words to use—or are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. This thoughtful, instructive guide, from empathy expert Dr. Kelsey Crowe and greeting card maverick Emily McDowell, blends well-researched, actionable advice with the no-nonsense humor and the signature illustration style of McDowell's immensely popular Empathy Cards, to help you feel confident in connecting with anyone experiencing grief, loss, illness, or any other difficult situation.
Written in a how-to, relatable, we’ve-all-been-that-deer-in-the-headlights kind of way, There Is No Good Card for This isn’t a spiritual treatise on how to make you a better person or a scientific argument about why compassion matters. It is a helpful illustrated guide to effective compassion that takes you, step by step by step, past the paralysis of thinking about someone in a difficult time to actually doing something (or nothing) with good judgment instead of fear.
There Is No Good Card for This features workbook exercises, sample dialogs, and real-life examples from Dr. Crowe’s research, including her popular "Empathy Bootcamps" that give people tools for building relationships when it really counts. Whether it’s a coworker whose mother has died, a neighbor whose husband has been in a car accident, or a friend who is seriously ill, There Is No Good Card for This teaches you how to be the best friend you can be to someone in need.
Dondi Dahlin shows us that we are all born with individual rhythms that go beyond the influence of our genes and upbringing. The five elements originated in ancient Chinese medicine over 2,000 years ago--when scholars theorized that the universe is composed of five forces: water, wood, fire, earth, and metal. Understanding these elements helps us stay in balance physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. By explaining the efficacy of wood, the depth of water, the joy of fire, the compassion of earth, and the wisdom of metal, this book helps people understand themselves and form lasting connections to others, answering the age-old question of why we do what we do.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
"What an asshole!"
How many times have you said that about someone at work? You're not alone! In this groundbreaking book, Stanford University professor Robert I. Sutton builds on his acclaimed Harvard Business Review article to show you the best ways to deal with assholes...and why they can be so destructive to your company. Practical, compassionate, and in places downright funny, this guide offers:
Strategies on how to pinpoint and eliminate negative influences for goodIlluminating case histories from major organizationsA self-diagnostic test and a program to identify and keep your own "inner jerk" from coming out
The No Asshole Rule is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Business Week bestseller.
People are often untruthful out of fear of negative consequences associated with divulging information. But if a person is made to forget the long-term outcomes of lying, he or she can be influenced to disclose sensitive information that's being withheld. The aim is to encourage the person to remain in short-term thinking mode, shifting focus away from the long-term ramifications of telling the truth.
As former CIA agents and bestselling authors of Spy the Lie, Philip Houston, Mike Floyd, and Susan Carnicero are among the world's best at detecting deceptive behavior and eliciting the truth from even the most accomplished liars. Get the Truth is a step-by-step guide that empowers readers to elicit the truth from others. It also chronicles the fascinating story of how the authors used a methodology Houston developed to elicit the truth in the counterterrorism and criminal investigation realms, and how these techniques can be applied to our daily lives. Using thrilling anecdotes from their careers in counterintelligence, and with easy-to-follow instructions, the authors provide a foolproof means of getting absolutely anybody to give an honest answer.
Get the Truth is the easy and effective way to learn how to get the truth every time.
- Newly discovered by fans of The Secret, the metaphysical writer Wallace D. Wattles distills the rules of real power and personal achievement in his slender, immensely practical The Science of Being Great-the companion work to The Science of Getting Rich.
- Publisher Robert Collier taught millions of people how to achieve more, attain more, and live more-all by tapping the incredible faculties of the human mind. His leading book, The Secret of the Ages, is available once again in its authoritative, revised edition.
- Businessman Charles F. Haanel made a meticulous study of the "Law of Attraction" in The Master Key System-a step-by-step guide to activating the principle of mental power and a core inspiration behind The Secret.
Each of these volumes features reset and redesigned interiors, rough-front pages, and elegant French flaps, and is published at an affordable price.
Here are the cornerstone works of self-development-perfect for today's generation of readers.
While other books or websites might list a few standard bullet points on the subject from an expert in the HR field, Jim takes a "novel approach," weaving interesting stories, case studies, graphs, humor, and personal experience to make the topic come alive. The book also educates the reader on:
Discovering the two simple - but vital - questions you need to answer for successHarnessing your social media network to gather valuable informationMastering successful FBI negotiation techniques to your advantageCreating a one-of-a-kind document to secure the highest salary range Using Jim's "Right back at Ya" Method to regain control of an interview