This book is about how we all have a state of perfect mental health and wisdom inside us that can only be covered up by our own thinking, and how our use of our power of thought creates the "reality" we see, out of which we then think, feel and act. Here are ten simple but profound truths for living well, arising from three spiritual facts that, once grasped or truly realized, can transform one's life. This book has the ability to spawn insights that change the lives of those who come to understand the simple, yet profound wisdom contained in this book. In fact, it already has.
This book is the essence of self-help, in that it points people inside themselves for all answers. It shows people how to access their own essence whenever they need to. It shows people how they create their experience of life moment to moment. The book is written in an easy-to-understand manner with many stories of how people's lives have changed. When we were growing up nobody told us what this book points to, but somebody should have told us! And it's never too late.
About the Author
Jack Pransky, Ph.D. is founder/director of the Center for Inside-Out Understanding. He authored the books, "Modello: A Story of Hope for the Inner City and Beyond, Parenting from the Heart, Prevention from the Inside-Out; Prevention: The Critical Need" and co-authored "Healthy Thinking/ Feeling/Doing from the Inside-Out" prevention curriculum for middle school students. Pransky has worked in the field of prevention since 1968 in a wide variety of capacities and now provides consultation, training, counseling and coaching from the inside-out, throughout the U.S. and internationally. He is also cofounder/director of the nonprofit consulting organization, Prevention Unlimited, which created the Spirituality of Prevention Conference. In 2001 his book, "Modello" received the Martin Luther King Storyteller's Award for the book best exemplifying King's vision of "the beloved community," and in 2004 Jack won the Vermont Prevention Pioneer's Award. Jack can be contacted through his website at www.healthrealize.com.
About the Author
Jack Pransky, Ph.D. is founder/director of the Center for Inside-Out Understanding. He authored the books, "Somebody Should Have Told Us!: Simple Truths for Living Well, Parenting from the Heart, Prevention from the Inside-Out; Prevention: The Critical Need" and co-authored "Healthy Thinking/ Feeling/Doing from the Inside-Out" prevention curriculum for middle school students. Pransky has worked in the field of prevention since 1968 in a wide variety of capacities and now provides consultation, training, counseling and coaching from the inside-out, throughout the U.S. and internationally. He is also cofounder/director of the nonprofit consulting organization, Prevention Unlimited, which created the Spirituality of Prevention Conference. In 2001 his book, "Modello" received the Martin Luther King Storyteller's Award for the book best exemplifying King's vision of "the beloved community," and in 2004 Jack won the Vermont Prevention Pioneer's Award. Jack can be contacted through his website at www.healthrealize.com.
It all began when one man, Sydney Banks, in one moment of time, had a profound experience of spiritual enlightenment. A small circle of people gathered around him on Salt Spring Island, British Columbia to listen to his wisdom. Within a few years two mental health professionals became profoundly touched by Syd’s teachings, among them George Pransky. Part I of this book is an extensive interview with Dr. Pransky, who began to create an entirely new, inside-out psychological paradigm.
It began to spread little by little, one person at a time, solidly through individual insights and slowly began to infiltrate the fields of mental health, prevention, corrections, business, education, coaching and many more. It began to spread around the world. Part II is a historical chronology of what transpired. Part III consists of brief write-ups of a few of the important historical events that for an extended period of time changed mainstream systems.
How difficult it must have been to create an entirely new psychology from the formless, spiritual nature of which Syd Banks spoke, and for which he, himself, even struggled to find words! Furthermore, this became a completely new psychology—a true paradigm shift to the inside-out—which flew in the face of the traditional psychology accepted not only by the powers that be but by millions of people around the world who studied it and practice it. And all this from one man’s enlightenment experience in one moment of time, which gradually rippled out affecting one person at a time, who then affected others, then others, changing lives along the way, and it still grows on into unimaginable futures.
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage.
Maintain a love map.
Foster fondness and admiration.
Turn toward instead of away.
Solve solvable conflicts.
Cope with conflicts you can't resolve.
Create shared meaning.
Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
Life can be hard: your lover cheats on you; you lose a family member; you can’t pay the bills—and it can be great: you’ve had the hottest sex of your life; you get that plum job; you muster the courage to write your novel. Sugar—the once-anonymous online columnist at The Rumpus, now revealed as Cheryl Strayed, author of the bestselling memoir Wild—is the person thousands turn to for advice.
It doesn't matter if you've already broken up and things seem like a lost cause. When it hurts as bad as I'm guessing it's hurting you right now, know that the pain you're feeling is your heart telling you that what you had was special and you don't want to lose it. But guess what:if you give up now or make all the wrong choices while trying to save it, you will lose your ex forever.
This book has been written to help make sure that doesn't happen to you.
• A life-changing parenting guide that actually works
• The go-to parenting guide recommended by child psychologists and counselors
• One of Healthline's Best Parenting Books of 2017
• 2016 Mom's Choice Award Winner
• 2016 National Parenting Product Award Winner
• 2016 Family Choice Award Winner
"1-2-3 Magic made parenting fun again."
"My three-year-old has become a different little girl, and she is so much happier now."
"All I have to say is that the ideas in this book really WORK! It really is like magic!"
"Our home has become a much more positive place."
The sixth edition of the 1.8 million-copy bestseller 1-2-3 Magic by internationally acclaimed parenting expert Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. compiles two decades of research and experience into an easy-to-use program designed for parents striving to connect more deeply with their children and help them develop into healthy, capable teenagers and adults. Dr. Phelan breaks down the complex task of parenting into three straightforward steps:
1. Helping your children learn how to control their emotions and refrain from negative behavior, including tantrums, whining, and sibling rivalry
2. Encouraging good behavior in your children and providing positive feedback
3. Strengthening your relationships with your children to reinforce the natural parent-child bond
You'll find tools to use in virtually every situation, as well as real-life stories from parents who have successfully navigated common parenting challenges such as reluctance to do chores, talking back, and refusing to go to bed or getting up in the middle of the night. For years, millions of parents from all over the world have used the award-winning 1-2-3 Magic program to help their children develop emotional intelligence, raise healthier, happier families, and put the fun back into parenting.
Along with other highly-respected parenting classics such as How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Parenting with Love and Logic, The 5 Love Languages of Children, No Drama Discipline, and The Whole Brain Child, 1-2-3 Magic is an essential tool for parents hoping to connect more deeply with their children.
—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger
“It is ‘must’ reading for any couple who has experienced the violation of trust as a result of an affair.”
—Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
A staggering number of couples in America—about 70 percent—have been affected by extramarital affairs. After the Affair is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship. Written by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., a nationally known therapist and acknowledged expert on infidelity, this revised and updated version brings the groundbreaking classic into the 21st century, with a new section dealing with online affairs in cyberspace. For women who are struggling in their marriage—and for clinicians, psychology academics and readers fascinated by of popular psychology—this newly revised and updated edition of After the Affair is essential reading.
This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" -- and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.
Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.
Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.
This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction.Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.
Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish.
This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.
If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.
Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception.
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.
Do you know one of these men?
The catch-me-if-you-can lover...
Phil’s romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next.
The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...
Jack denies resenting Nora’s rapid rise in the company, but when they’re assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her.
The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...
Bob keeps telling his wife he’ll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it.
These are all classic examples of the passive-aggressive man. This personality syndrome—in which hostility wears a mask of passivity—is currently the number one source of men’s problems in relationships and on the job. In Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, Scott Wetzler draws upon numerous case histories from his own practice to explain how and why the passive-aggressive man thinks, feels, and acts the way he does. Dr. Wetzler also offers advice on:
• How to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the “P-A”
• How to get his anger and fear into the open
• How to help the “P-A” become a better lover, husband, and father
• How to survive passive-aggressive game playing on the job
Living with a man’s passive aggression can be an emotional seesaw ride. But armed with this book, you can avoid the bumpy landings.
Kristen Welch knows firsthand it’s not that easy. In fact, she’s found out that when you say yes too often, it’s not only hard on your peace of mind and your wallet—it actually puts your kids at long-term risk. In Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, Kristen shares the ups and downs in her own family’s journey of discovering why it’s healthiest not to give their kids everything. Teaching them the difference between “want” and “need” is the first step in the right direction. With many practical tips and anecdotes, she shares how to say the ultimate yes as a family by bringing up faith-filled kids who will love God, serve others, and grow into hardworking, fulfilled, and successful adults.
It’s never too late to raise grateful kids. Get ready to cultivate a spirit of genuine appreciation and create a Jesus-centered home in which your kids don’t just say—but mean!—“thank you” for everything they have.
Everyone must learn to live with personal missteps. Whether you’ve put yourself in an awkward situation, or you find that you’ve unwittingly created a full-blown crisis, Judy Smith is here to teach you how to look within to diffuse, mitigate, and resolve issues at their root.
Good Self, Bad Self will teach you how to face and overcome potential problems before they send your life spinning out of control. Using the straightforward and incredibly effective POWER model—which incorporates the same strategies Judy uses with her high-profile clients—you can learn to master and expertly handle any sticky situation in your own life. Smith distills years of experience, sharing tools we all need to face our mistakes and overcome them.
What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause?
What if we systematically misunderstand that cause?
And what if, as a result, we systematically perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?
From the authors of Leadership and Self-Deception comes an international bestseller that instills hope and inspires reconciliation. Through a moving story of parents who are struggling with their own children and with problems that have come to consume their lives, we learn from once-bitter enemies the way to transform personal, professional, and global conflicts, even when war is upon us.
Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you how to avoid being a permissive parent, how to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you, how to teach your children to "own" their problems and to solve them, and how to use the "No-Lose" method to resolve conflicts.
Using the timeless methods of P.E.T. will have immediate results: less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment. Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you'll find P.E.T. a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.
P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins. This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world--and it will work for you.
Married, and wondering if you could be happier.
Single, and wondering how to avoid another wrong partner.
In love, and wondering whether your partner is the right one for you.
with powerful advice and groundbreaking techniques that have helped thousands of people transform their lives, Dr. De Angelis will show you the formula for creating love that lasts, and help you to understand yourself and the one you love as you never have before. Discover:
How to avoid making the biggest mistakes in love.
The six essential qualities to look for in a mate.
How to spot fatal flaws in a partner.
How to create the sexual chemistry you want.
The compatibility formula to make your relationship work.
From the Paperback edition.
Discovering that your husband has been unfaithful can be emotionally devastating, leaving you reeling in pain and confusion. But take heart—this survival guide for women offers compassionate and practical solutions for coping with the aftermath of an affair. Drawing on their years of experience as professional therapists, authors Marcella Bakur Weiner and Armand DiMele explain how to heal the marriage bond and restore trust between partners. Written with empathy and understanding, this book addresses such vital topics as:
·Coming to terms with the sense of loss and betrayal
·Coping with feelings of suspicion and the specter of "the other woman"
·Dealing with the children during and after the affair
·Understanding character traits of men who have affairs—and how different women's personalities interact with them
·Finding the best sources of emotional support
Also included are helpful exercises for self-healing and redeveloping mutual trust as a couple. Repairing Your Marriage After His Affair will guide you through the turmoil of infidelity and aid you in mending and strengthening your marriage vows.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Welcome to the Relationship Revolution! Making Marriage Simple is the accessible, essential road map to building a strong marriage in the modern world. Bestselling authors Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt distill into ten essential truths what they've learned about how to create a successful and satisfying relationship—both from their decades of “R&D” in the marriage lab of their workshops, and from their own relationship journey. In each chapter, Harville and Helen introduce a simple truth—such as “a frustration is a wish in disguise,” “incompatibility is grounds for marriage,” or “conflict is growth trying to happen”—and then walk couples through easy yet effective exercises to help them apply each truth in real life, every day.
Harville and Helen have spent their careers helping couples transform their marriages through research, workshops, and counseling. But marriage—even for marriage experts—is never easy, and a number of years ago they found themselves on the brink of divorce. Harville and Helen put themselves back through the exercises they’d coached so many other couples through, saving their marriage and helping them achieve a true partnership.
This book is for all couples. It offers the practical tools needed to transform one’s relationship into a rewarding and joyous marriage. Written with humor, compassion, and honesty, and illustrated throughout with engaging line drawings, Making Marriage Simple is a strategic blueprint for creating a stronger, more satisfying partnership in today's world.
In this revised edition, Dr. Alice Ginott, clinical psychologist and wife of the late Haim Ginott, and family relationship specialist Dr. H. Wallace Goddard usher this bestselling classic into the new century while retaining the book’s positive message and Haim Ginott’s warm, accessible voice. Based on the theory that parenting is a skill that can be learned, this indispensable handbook will show you how to:
• Discipline without threats, bribes, sarcasm, and punishment
• Criticize without demeaning, praise without judging, and express anger without hurting
• Acknowledge rather than argue with children’s feelings, perceptions, and opinions
• Respond so that children will learn to trust and develop self-confidence
This revolutionary book offered a straightforward prescription for empathetic yet disciplined child rearing and introduced new communication techniques that would change the way parents spoke with, and listened to, their children. Dr. Ginott’s innovative approach to parenting has influenced an entire generation of experts in the field, and now his methods can work for you, too.
ScreamFree Parenting is not just about lowering your voice. It’s about learning to calm your emotional reactions and learning to focus on your own behavior more than your kids’ behavior . . . for their benefit. Our biggest enemy as parents is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own emotional reactivity. When we say we “lost it” with our kids, the “it” in that sentence is our own adulthood. And then we wonder why our kids have so little respect for us, why our kids seem to have all the power in the family.
It’s time to do it differently. And you can. You can start to create and enjoy the types of calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with your kids that you’ve always craved. You can begin to revolutionize your family, starting tonight.
Parenting is not about kids, it’s about parents.
If you’re not in control, then you cannot be in charge.
What every kid really needs are parents who are able to keep their cool no matter what.
Easier said than done? Not anymore, thanks to ScreamFree Parenting, the principle-based approach that’s inspiring parents everywhere to truly revolutionize their family dynamics. Moving beyond the child-centered, technique-based approaches that ultimately fail, the ScreamFree way compels you to:
focus on yourself
calm yourself down, and
grow yourself up
By staying calm and connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionizing your relationships in the process.
ScreamFree Parenting is not just another parenting book. It’s the first parenting
book that maintains—from beginning to end—that parenting is NOT about kids . . . it’s about parents. As parents pay more attention to controlling their own behavior instead of their kids’ behavior, the result is stronger, more rewarding, and more fulfilling family relationships.
For those of you reading who are parents, know parents, or have had parents, the notion that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to learn to focus on yourself may sound strange, even heretical. It’s not. Here’s why: we are the only ones we can control. We cannot control our kids—we cannot control the behavior of any other human being. And yet, so many “experts” keep giving us more tools (“techniques”) to help us try to do just that. And, of course, the more we try to control, the more out of control our children become.
“Don’t make me come up there.” “Don’t make me pull this car over.” “How many times do I have to tell you?” Even our language suggests that our kids have control over us.
It’s no wonder that we end up screaming. Or shutting down. Or simply giving up. And the charts, refrigerator magnets, family meetings, and other techniques in most typical parenting books just don’t work. They end up making us feel more frustrated and more powerless in this whole parenting thing.
This practical, effective guide for parents of all ages with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the anxieties and stresses of parenting and setting new patterns of connection and cooperation. Well-written in an engaging, conversational tone, the book is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help all parents become calming authorities in their homes, bring peace to their families today, and give kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.
In The High-Conflict Custody Battle, a team of legal and psychology experts present a practical guidebook for people like you who are engaged in a high-conflict custody battle. If you are dealing with an overtly hostile, inflammatory, deceitful, or manipulative ex-spouse, you will learn how to find and work with an attorney and prepare for a custody evaluation. The book also provides helpful tips you can use to defend yourself against false accusations, and gives a realistic portrayal of what to expect during a legal fight.
Going through a divorce is hard, but going through a custody battle can feel like war. Don’t go in unprepared. With this book as your guide, you will be able to navigate this difficult process and learn powerful skills that will help you maintain a healthy relationship with your kids, fight unfair accusations, and uphold your rights as a parent.
The Heart of the Amish invites readers into the world of a people renowned for their ability to forgive. Through true stories gathered from a variety of Amish communities, bestselling author Suzanne Woods Fisher illustrates how they are able to release their pain and desire for revenge, and live at peace with others. Her in-depth, personal research uncovers the astounding yet fundamental way the Amish can forgive anyone from the angry customer at the grocery store to the shooter at Nickel Mines. Readers will learn how to invite God into their stories, apply lessons from the Amish to their own circumstances, and find the freedom that comes with true forgiveness.
A groundbreaking, interactive relationship tool that literally places in the hands of couples the power to transform chronically frustrating relationship dynamics.
We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love.
A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I'm someone you love,” and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others.
This book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life," written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include:
• Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?"
• Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?"
• Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are."
A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing.
We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together. But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment. Sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we’re good people at heart. That's natural: we're almost biologically primed to respond this way.
Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship--one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring. Katherine Woodward Thomas's groundbreaking method, Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools for you to travel this challenging terrain with these five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps:
Step 1: Find Emotional Freedom
Step 2: Reclaim Your Power and Your Life
Step 3: Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart
Step 4: Become a Love Alchemist
Step 5: Create Your Happy Even After Life
This paradigm-shifting guide will steer you away from a bitter end and toward a new life that’s empowered and flourishing.
From the Hardcover edition.
Subtle seduction is the key to getting back what you lost. With this book you will be able to get your ex back, building a whole new relationship with your ex. With just a few changes, you can make yourself irresistible to your ex, who will happily want to come back into your life. If you want your ex back and are willing to work for it, you will get them back. Find out how to get over a break up by getting your ex back.
The Top Performer's Guide to Conflict is your essential conflict handbook, giving you the tools you need to manage conflict and come out on top. Discover:
--Why you must know how to handle conflict
--How to recognize conflict before it happens
--The best ways to deal with difficult people
--How to build strength by overcoming problems
--Secrets to impacting and leading others
--Tools to guide you past conflict
Top performers face conflict head-on and come out on top. You are just a short read away from mastering this essential skill.
“I don’t believe in ‘okay,’ ‘decent,’ or ‘solid’ marriages. I’m against them,” says M. Gary Neuman. “I believe only in great marriages, and that you should expect and reach for no less.” In the last fifteen years, M. Gary Neuman, marital therapist and architect of the Sandcastles Divorce Therapy Program, has helped thousands of couples in crisis. Couples who fight. Who’ve grown apart. Who are stuck in relationships that run more on routine and rancor than love and understanding. What he’s found is that, contrary to popular belief, the problem is usually not poor communication. It’s the failure to put most of your focus into your marriage. You’ve only got so much energy. Are you spending it by being emotionally unfaithful?
Take a quick check: Do you send that funny e-mail to your friends at work—but not to your spouse? Do you chew over all the problems on the job so thoroughly with your colleagues that by the time you get home, you just don’t feel like going into it all over again? Do you get a secret thrill out of flirting with coworkers—thinking it’s safe because you know it’s not going any further? If so, you’re committing emotional infidelity—and you’re draining your marriage of the energy it needs to be great. Learning how to break this cycle is one of eleven secrets M. Gary Neuman shares in his provocative new book.
Based on the ten-week program he’s developed in his successful couples counseling practice, the book offers guidelines that are often counterintuitive, even outrageous or shocking. But they work. Dare to limit contact with members of the opposite sex. Dare to need each other. Dare to put in writing the nitty-gritty realities of a marriage plan. Dare to put your marriage before your kids or job. Dare to make love in a whole new way. Dare to change your focus: make the commitment to focus on each of the eleven secrets (ten plus one bonus secret) for one week apiece and you’ll reap the rewards of a transformed marriage and a reconfirmed relationship.
M. Gary Neuman’s program is guaranteed to challenge you and make you reexamine the myths holding you back from true happiness and satisfaction. It will change your marriage forever.
From the Hardcover edition.
Recommended by Nicole Cliffe in SlateFeatured in People Picks
A Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of 2017
A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice.
How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper?
Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child.
Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today.
On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate--and rebuild--your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children.
Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.
Written by psychologist and bestselling author Matthew McKay, The Interpersonal Problems Workbook combines research and evidence-based techniques for strengthening relationships in all areas in life—whether it’s at home, at work, with a significant other, a parent, or a child. The skills in this workbook are based in both schema therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and are designed to help you connect and communicate effectively with those around them.
ACT has been proven effective in helping people improve their relationships with others. The ACT skills detailed in this book include present moment awareness, diffusion, and flexibility—all of which will help you to improve your relationships with others. In this book you will learn what your schema is, and how to act on your values to communicate and get along with others.
If you are ready to stop building walls and start connecting with those around you, this book presents powerful, effective tools for change.
Jeannette Walls chronicles all the heartbreak, deprivation, humor, and love of her childhood in The Glass Castle, a memoir of growing up dirt-poor on a cross-country odyssey with her charismatic, but alcoholic, father and her codependent mother.
Jeannette began thinking of her childhood after spotting her mother, Rose Mary, rummaging through trash in New York City. Her parents were basically living on the street, but offers of help were always rejected. Jeannette went home to her husband’s apartment on Park Avenue. She arranged to have lunch with her mom, who advised her to stop feeling guilty, accept her parents as they were, and stop hiding the truth about them.
Taking this advice, Jeannette started writing her story. Her first memory went back to a trailer park in Arizona. At the age of three, she spent six weeks in a hospital after her pink tutu caught fire while she was boiling hot dogs with no supervision…
PLEASE NOTE: This is a summary and analysis of the book and NOT the original book.
Inside this Instaread Summary & Analysis of The Glass Castle
• Summary of book
• Introduction to the Important People in the book
• Analysis of the Themes and Author’s Style
How do you deal with a difficult and defiant child or teenager? What can you do if your child has been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) or is resentful and constantly in trouble at school? Are there constructive ways to channel such oppositional energy and determination? Dr. John F. Taylor will tell you how.
Inside, you'll find new hope and hundreds of specific, sensible, and easy-to-implement suggestions for improving life with a rebellious and argumentative child. Parents and teachers — anyone who deals with difficult children, teens, or young adults — will also learn how to tap the potential of these natural-born leaders by discovering how to:
·Understand why an oppositional attitude exists
·Open up new, safer avenues for children to express needs and wants
·Enhance communication, avoid common mistakes, and reduce undesirable behavior
·Teach a child conscience-based self-control
·And much more!
From the Trade Paperback edition.
You feel that you and your ex had a special relationship together and that the breakup happened from a careless mistake. You want to get back with your ex and you want to apologize to them. However, none of what you've done has worked. Maybe you've doing something wrong, or maybe you've not approaching the situation properly. You want your ex to come back to you, but you don't know the proper way to do it. You want to produce results, but all your attempts have been useless. So what are you left to do?
In this book, we will take a good look on the methods that you can take into getting your ex back into your life. Don't worry much about having to look for answers from different sources. This book will explain everything.
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish transformed parenting with their breakthrough, bestselling books Siblings Without Rivalry and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. Now, they return with this essential guide that tackles the tough issues teens and parents face today.
Filled with straightforward advice and written in their trademark, down-to-earth style sure to appeal to both parents and teens, this all-new volume offers both innovative, easy-to-implement suggestions and proven techniques to build the foundation for lasting relationships. From curfews and cliques to sex and drugs, it gives parents the tools to help their children safely navigate the often stormy years of adolescence.
Addicted to drugs from birth because of her mother’s substance abuse during pregnancy, new-born Megan is taken into Rosie’s loving care. Rosie is supposed to help Megan find her new permanent home, but it turns out that Megan has already found her ‘forever mummy’ in Rosie.
Rosie grows incredibly attached to Megan and applies to adopt her, but the system refuses her in favour of a young couple and Rosie is devastated. Against all her instincts, Rosie does her job and prepares Megan for her new ‘forever family’, but everything about Megan leaving feels wrong.
When Rosie learns a few months later that Megan’s adoption has broken down, she is saddened but also filled with hope – will this little girl be allowed to return to her true ‘forever home’?
In this updated edition, parents will learn how to face new challenges, including defiance resulting from excessive technology use (even to the point of addiction) and the stress of modern family life. Dr. Bernstein explains what causes defiance in kids and why it’s so destructive to the family, then offers parents a step–by–step guide on how to reduce conflict and end upsetting behaviors.
You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.”
Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller offer a thorough program for establishing honor as a basis of family life — not just children honoring parents, but parents respecting children and children honoring each other. Even if honor seems a long way off in your household, you will find practical suggestions here to bring that goal a little closer — suggestions for kids of all ages. Honor is the biblical value that will bring about good behavior. It’s more than just changing what kids do; it’s changing the deeper issues of the heart that triggered the behavior.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Why does it feel sometimes as if our children have special powers that enable them to tune us out completely? You ask your child to do her homework, get ready for school or bedtime. You think she heard you but . . . no response. You’ve tried everything—time-outs, nagging, counting to three—and nothing seems to work. In this invaluable book, Amy McCready, founder of the popular online parenting course Positive Parenting Solutions, presents a nag-and-scream-free program for compassionately yet effectively, correcting your children’s bad behavior.
McCready draws on Adlerian psychology and Positive Discipline, which focuses on the central idea that every human being has a basic need to feel connected and empowered—children being no exception to the rule. According to McCready, when this need isn’t met in positive ways, kids resort to negative methods. In this book she provides parents with a virtual toolbox of strategies they can use to give their children the attention and power they crave—and do away with the misbehaving that adults dread.
What’s an explosive child? A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration—crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help. Most of these parents have tried everything-reasoning, explaining, punishing, sticker charts, therapy, medication—but to no avail. They can’t figure out why their child acts the way he or she does; they wonder why the strategies that work for other kids don’t work for theirs; and they don’t know what to do instead.
Dr. Ross Greene, a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: these kids aren’t attention-seeking, manipulative, or unmotivated, and their parents aren’t passive, permissive pushovers. Rather, explosive kids are lacking some crucial skills in the domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving, and they require a different approach to parenting.
Throughout this compassionate, insightful, and practical book, Dr. Greene provides a new conceptual framework for understanding their difficulties, based on research in the neurosciences. He explains why traditional parenting and treatment often don’t work with these children, and he describes what to do instead. Instead of relying on rewarding and punishing, Dr. Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model promotes working with explosive children to solve the problems that precipitate explosive episodes, and teaching these kids the skills they lack.
As a single parent in our complex world, you face the challenge of doing alone a job that was meant for two people. In addition, self-doubt and guilt may dampen the joy you experience raising your child. What do you do?
Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust Jane Nelsen's classic POSITIVE DISCIPLINE series for its consistant, commonsense approach to child rearing. In this completely revised and updated edition of Positive Discipline for Single Parents you'll learn how to succeed as a single parent in the most important job of your life: raising a child who is responsible, respectful, and resourceful.
Inside this reassuring book, you'll discover how to:
·Identify potential problems and develop skills to prevent them
·Budget time each week for family activities
·Create a respectful coparenting relationship with your former spouse
·Use nonpunitive methods to help your children make wise decisions about their behavior
·And much, much more!
"Provides very important information for single parents, especially in today's violent society. Used as a resource, it can help parents deal with discipline issues in a positive way and in turn help their children become responsible citizens."—Judye Foy, international vice president, Community Relations, Parents Without Partners
"Another great resource for both single parents and therapists . . . practical and enjoyable to read. A must for your parenting library."—Stephen Sprinkel, marriage and family therapist
Why do more than half of all marriages end in divorce? And why is there so much unhappiness in the marriages that survive? Greg Baer offers the solutions for a long-lasting marriage in his anticipated follow-up to Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships.
No matter how many wounds have been inflicted in a marriage, Greg Baer believes that they can be healed, giving both partners the sense of fulfillment and joy they’ve always wanted. With practical anecdotes and exercises throughout, Baer shows you:
· Why our spouses are not the root cause of how we feel and behave
· The truth about why we get angry with our spouses and argue with them
· How to eliminate—not just manage—anger and conflict
· How to identify what we need to change about ourselves
· How you and your partner can both get what you want out of the marriage
· How you can break the cycles of expectation and disappointment
· How to prevent divorce, and how to know when it’s the right option
There are no quick solutions to fixing a marriage. With Greg Baer as your guide, you can begin to heal the wounds of the past and cultivate the lifelong commitment to stay with your partner while learning how to unconditionally love him or her.
In Fight Less, Love More, readers will learn how to identify the bad verbal habits, instinctive responses, and emotional reasoning that can cloud judgment and ultimately lead to the deterioration of otherwise healthy relationships. With exercises, examples, and sample scripts, Puhn's modern voice presents simple 5-minute strategies create immediate, positive changes and provide long-lasting communication skills that couples can continually employ when faced with conflict.
Every committed couple strives to hold on to the marriage they envisioned back when they first said "I do"--before kids, mortgages, and all of life's inescapable issues seemed to get in the way. But the truth is this: conflict about these issues is unavoidable. What typically results are two spouses feeling forced to compromise themselves in order to just get along and keep it together. Eventually couples start "screaming" at each other--sometimes literally yelling out loud, sometimes shutting themselves down and shutting their partners out.
In The Self-Centered Marriage, therapist and bestselling author Hal Runkel introduces some radical new concepts about marriage, teaching couples how to embrace their separate selves as a profound vehicle for strengthening a marriage. Every great marriage is a self-centered marriage because it's a bond between two whole, centered people. Calmly focusing on your own behavior, choices, and moods—which you can control—rather than your spouse’s—which you cannot—is the first step toward creating the relationship you really crave. Using accessible anecdotes and disarming humor, Runkel disproves prevailing marital wisdom and reveals a revolutionary path for spouses to be fully themselves, and fully married, at the same time.
Do your children misbehave? Do they repeatedly ignore or refuse your requests for proper behavior? Are you constantly fluctuating between permissive and authoritarian parenting, with little or no success? Are you convinced there has to be a better way? There is. Setting Limits will help you establish the positive, respectful, and instructional groundwork your children need for proper ethical and behavioral development
In this revised and expanded edition of his popular book, Robert MacKenzie, Ed.D., demonstrates proven techniques and procedures that not only correct misbehavior but instill the cooperation and conduct you want and expect from your children. This book shows parents how to:
·Enforce clear, firm, and effective boundaries
·Put an end to conflicts and power struggles
·Establish rules that encourage cooperation
·Teach children important problem-solving skills
·Apply logical consequences of misbehavior
Children need limits to guide their development. With MacKenzie's expert guidance, you will learn how to build and enforce the instructive boundaries necessary for a happy and rewarding family life.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
In over 13 years as a trainer, facilitator and mediator, Gary Harper has taught thousands of people in both the public and private sectors to successfully manage conflict. He also teaches for the Centre for Conflict Resolution at the Justice Institute in Vancouver, BC.
Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. Couples therapist Nancy Dreyfus hit upon this revolutionary practice during a particularly angry couples-therapy session in which a wife's unrelenting criticism of her husband was making him more and more emotionally withdrawn. Suddenly, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, "Talk to me like I'm someone you love," and gesturing to the husband that he should hold it up. He did, and within seconds, the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged.
This revised edition features two new sections—one on making love and another on deepening trust—containing over 25 new "flash cards for real life," written statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them. Each of the statements in this book is accompanied by "field notes" from the author that explain when, why, and how to use the statement, as well as real-life stories from the author's practice.
Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth, and her wide experience in the areas of conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, Barbara Coloroso explains:The three kinds of bullying, and the differences between boy and girl bulliesFour abilities that protect your child from succumbing to bullyingSeven steps to take if your child is a bullyHow to help the bullied child heal and how to effectively discipline the bullyHow to evaluate a school's antibullying policyAnd much more
This compassionate and practical guide has become the groundbreaking reference on the subject of bullying.
* The 7 strategies for peace when an ex refuses to change
* Skills for taming former in-laws
* Ways to help children cope with a difficult parent
* Strategies and alternatives for focusing anger
* How to avoid hot-button issues
* How to nudge an ex to change for the better
* Ways to deal with children's questions and confusion
* The new partner's role in the old partner's shadow
This is the book for every frustrated parent coming out of a divorce who needs support in setting things right-the healthy, sensible, and sane way.
* A review of professional ethics and standards
* Help for attorneys who are not trained in the skills needed for working with families
* Information about cultural issues that affect families during mediation
* Highlights of key legal and negotiation skills
* Guidelines for understanding complex family dynamics and conflicts
* A screening tool for evaluating domestic violence
* A matrix for starting discussions of parenting plans based on children's needs
* An examination of specialized practices for family mediation
* Direction for assessing one's professional approach to family mediation
In just a few minutes couples will learn to:
Feel totally lovedNever argue againGet your partner to really hear youRepair broken trustLearn the secret of the Acknowledgment Formula
Originally published in 1997 and continuously in print with more than 100,000 sold Communications Miracles for Couples has helped hundreds of thousands of couples repair their relationships. Whether you are looking to enhance your relationship or are deeply mired in conflict, these techniques can help anyone develop more effective communication with a spouse or partner.