The Pittsburgh Steelers of the 1970s are mentioned in any conversation about the greatest dynasties in NFL history. A year before Pittsburgh’s first Super Bowl victory launched a decade of domination, Roy Blount Jr. spent a season traveling with the team, recording the ups and downs, both large and small, in the lives of men who would soon reach the pinnacle of success in their sport. He covers everything from the birth of the “Steel Curtain” defense to the unique connection the people of Pittsburgh had with their hard-nosed team.
Interspersed with vivid depictions of players like Terry Bradshaw, “Mean” Joe Greene, and Ernie “Fats” Holmes, as well as the team owners, the Rooney clan, About Three Bricks Shy of a Load harks back to a bygone era when offensive linemen could weigh about the same as the backs they blocked for, when the highest-paying team’s highest-paid player—Bradshaw—made $400,000, and when one team was able to win four Super Bowls in six years—a feat that remains unrivaled today.
Uproariously funny and brilliantly written, About Three Bricks Shy of a Load was named one of the Top 100 Sports Books of All Time by Sports Illustrated.
Men don’t tell women things for various reasons. 1. The things in question may not be true.2. It is better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a pig than to open it and oink.3. There is a certain pleasure in holding certain considerations close to the chest.4. When there is a topic that might complicate a situation in which a woman is pleased for a man to hold her close to his chest, a man does not want to mess with it.5. It is hard to be manly while making pained moaning sounds.6. Men, whether or not they have the Right Stuff, have never quite gotten a secure grip on the concept of the Wrong Thing.
The more Roy Blount Jr. thought about what men don’t tell women, the more he began to realize that nearly all of his writing involved things people don’t tell people. Things the sick don’t tell the well, things southerners don’t tell northerners, things authors don’t tell readers, things all too few of us tell anyone at all. But especially the things men don’t tell women. This riotous collection of classic Blount humor is chock full of those gender trade secrets—and plenty of yodeling too.
One Fell Soup brings together the reviews, diatribes, investigations, meditations, and poetry of Roy Blount Jr., a writer as insightful as he is funny. Culled from his many columns and magazine writings, this volume offers an unparalleled look at the varied interests of a writer the New York Times has compared to Mark Twain—albeit with a far greater demonstrated interest in love songs about gravy, ice cream, and mac and cheese.
“Chickens” celebrates the vast cultural importance—and criminal neglect—of the most abundant domesticated fowl. “So This Is Male Sexuality” examines the unsettling specter of sex researchers like Masters and Johnson looming over one’s private thoughts. And “Merely Shot in the Head” ponders the absurd willpower of a man who finishes a full marathon after taking a bullet ten miles into the race.
When a simple-talking, peanut-warehousing, grit-eating Southern Baptist Cracker got himself nominated for president of the United States in 1976, it set Roy Blount Jr. to thinking—about the South, about southerners, and about southernness. The result is a collection of savagely funny and insightful takes on redneck heaven, whiskey, blood, possums, and a great number of other things.
Blount turns his gimlet eye on his Dixie home, and in the process, he clears up long-held misconceptions (and creates new ones) about the people who reside below the Mason-Dixon line. Crackers delivers classic Blount, whether you are a proud southerner or a clueless Yankee.
I’ll tell you what kind of book I believe in: one that makes people say, at first sight, what the first person who ever saw a camel must have said: “What in the world is that?” And then, after a while, “Yet it seems to fit together some way.”
In this laugh-a-minute assortment of essays, travel writing, poems, and even the occasional crossword puzzle, Roy Blount Jr. covers sixty-four different subjects, all unified by his trademark humor. “Tan” is a personal essay about Blount’s lifelong battle with—sometimes for and sometimes against—that elusive summer glow. “Wild Fish Ripped My Flesh” chronicles his misadventures navigating the Amazon River. And “Lit Demystified Quickly” is a tongue-in-cheek poem about larger-than-life literary figures such as James Joyce, William Faulkner, and Walt Whitman.
Camels Are Easy, Comedy’s Hard is a classic compendium of the wisecracks and wisdom for which Blount is renowned.
First published in 1985, Not Exactly What I Had In Mind is Roy Blount Jr.’s smart and witty examination of the era’s most glaring absurdities—from the ever-growing deficit under then-president Reagan to the Game Theory–like levels of strategy required to pack for a vacation. In “Testimonial, Head-on,” Blount offers a loving ode to the virtues of full-bodied beer. In “Who You Gonna Call?” he enumerates the indefatigable charms of Bill Murray. And in “What You Personally Can Do about the Federal Deficit,” he proposes a brilliantly simple and populist way to reduce government debt—and probably make your neighborhood post office very happy in the process.
Powered by Roy Blount’s irresistible sense of humor, Not Exactly What I Had in Mind revels in Reagan-era topics, but with a humor that is truly timeless.
In his debut novel, Chuck Palahniuk showed himself to be his generation's most visionary satirist. Fight Club's estranged narrator leaves his lackluster job when he comes under the thrall of Tyler Durden, an enigmatic young man who holds secret boxing matches in the basement of bars. There two men fight "as long as they have to." A gloriously original work that exposes what is at the core of our modern world.
Slaughterhouse-Five, an American classic, is one of the world’s great antiwar books. Centering on the infamous firebombing of Dresden, Billy Pilgrim’s odyssey through time reflects the mythic journey of our own fractured lives as we search for meaning in what we fear most.
Praise for Slaughterhouse-Five
“Poignant and hilarious, threaded with compassion and, behind everything, the cataract of a thundering moral statement.”—The Boston Globe
“Very tough and very funny . . . sad and delightful . . . very Vonnegut.”—The New York Times
“Splendid art . . . a funny book at which you are not permitted to laugh, a sad book without tears.”—Life
“The blood-song rose with an unexpected tune, a warm hum mingling recognition with an impression of safety. He had a sense it was welcoming him home.”
Vaelin Al Sorna, warrior of the Sixth Order, called Darkblade, called Hope Killer. The greatest warrior of his day, and witness to the greatest defeat of his nation: King Janus’s vision of a Greater Unified Realm drowned in the blood of brave men fighting for a cause Vaelin alone knows was forged from a lie. Sick at heart, he comes home, determined to kill no more. Named Tower Lord of the Northern Reaches by King Janus’s grateful heir, he can perhaps find peace in a colder, more remote land far from the intrigues of a troubled Realm.
But those gifted with the blood-song are never destined to live a quiet life. Many died in King Janus’s wars, but many survived, and Vaelin is a target, not just for those seeking revenge but for those who know what he can do. The Faith has been sundered, and many have no doubt who their leader should be. The new King is weak, but his sister is strong. The blood-song is powerful, rich in warning and guidance in times of trouble, but is only a fraction of the power available to others who understand more of its mysteries. Something moves against the Realm, something that commands mighty forces, and Vaelin will find to his great regret that when faced with annihilation, even the most reluctant hand must eventually draw a sword.
Tavi of Calderon, now recognized as Princeps Gaius Octavian and heir to the crown, has achieved a fragile alliance with Alera’s oldest foes, the savage Canim. But when Tavi and his legions guide the Canim to their lands, his worst fears are realized. The dreaded Vord—the enemy of Aleran and Canim alike—have laid waste to the Canim homeland. And the Alerans find themselves trapped alongside their former enemies.
Meanwhile, war-torn Alera rebuilds while politicians and nobles vie for power. But from the south comes the news: the Vord have come to Alera. For a thousand years, Alera and her furies have withstood every enemy, and survived every foe. But the thousand years are over...
For centuries, the people of Alera have harnessed the furies—elementals of earth, air, fire, water, wood, and metal—to protect their land from aggressors. But no fury can save them from the dangers they face within. A mysterious attack from across the sea has weakened the First Lord. Should he fall, a bloody civil war is inevitable. The responsibility of fending off assassination attempts and treachery within the First Lord’s circle of spies falls on Tavi, the one man with no fury to call...
The most secretive organization in America operates without any accountability to the American people. Hiding in the shadows, pretending to be part of the United States government, its power is beyond measure.
Control of this organization has just been lost and the future of the nation thrust into peril.
When the five candidates being considered to head this mysterious agency suddenly go missing, covert counterterrorism operative Scot Harvath is summoned to Washington and set loose on the most dangerous chase ever to playout on American soil.
But as the candidates begin turning up murdered, the chase becomes an all-too-public spectacle, with every indicator suggesting that the plot has its roots in a shadowy American cabal founded in the 1700s.
With the United States on the verge of collapse, Harvath must untangle a web of conspiracy centuries in the making and head off the greatest threat America has ever seen.
This is thriller writing at its absolute best, where the stakes have never been higher, nor the line between good and evil so hard to discern.
#1 New York Times bestselling author Brad Thor returns with his most explosive thriller ever. Somewhere deep inside the United States government is a closely guarded list. Members of Congress never get to see it—only the President and a secret team of advisers. Once your name is on the list, it doesn’t come off . . . until you’re dead.
Someone has just added counterterrorism operative Scot Harvath’s name.
Somehow Harvath must evade the teams dispatched to kill him long enough to untangle who has targeted him and why they want him out of the way.
Somewhere, someone, somehow can put all the pieces together. The only question is, will Harvath get to that person before the United States suffers the most withering terrorist attack ever conceived?
An intense, page-turning novel that is action-packed and frighteningly real, Black List blurs the line between fiction and reality and once again reaffirms why Brad Thor "is arguably the best thriller writer of our time" (Suspense Magazine) and "America’s favorite author" (KTTX).
On the front lines of the global war on terror, CIA superagent Mitch Rapp races to save one more life—his own—in this “fast, fun read” (People) from #1 New York Times bestselling author Vince Flynn.
An eye for an eye: that’s what the powerful father of a dead terrorist demands in retribution—and with his hate-filled plea, Mitch Rapp becomes the target of an explosive international conspiracy. The fearless operative has both killed with impunity and tortured to avert disaster, all in a battle to preserve freedom. But even among America’s allies, some believe the time has come to bring Rapp down. Now the hunter is the hunted, and Rapp must rely on his razor-sharp instincts for survival—and justice—as he unleashes his fury on those who have betrayed him.
“Feels like the TV show 24 on the page.” —The Associated Press
#1 New York Times bestselling author Brad Thor presents his greatest thriller ever—an action-packed literary tour de force!
Hidden deep within one of the world’s most powerful organizations is a secret committee with a devastating agenda. Its members are afforded incredible protections—considered elites, untouchables.
But when four seconds of video is captured halfway around the world and anonymously transmitted to D.C., covert wheels are set in motion, and counterterrorism operative Scot Harvath is tapped to undertake the deadliest assignment of his career.
What begins as a favor will evolve into a globe-spanning drama of highly personal stakes played out against a backdrop of stunning international intrigue, duplicitous political gamesmanship, and the darkest, most clandestine fears of the espionage world.
With razor-sharp plotting, richly rendered characters, and heart-stopping surprises on every page, Thor isn’t just at the top of his game—he owns the entire genre.
In 1984, London is a grim city where Big Brother is always watching you and the Thought Police can practically read your mind. Winston Smith joins a secret revolutionary organization called The Brotherhood, dedicated to the destruction of the Party. Together with his beloved Julia, he hazards his life in a deadly match against the powers that be.
Animal Farm is Orwell's classic satire of the Russian Revolution -- an account of the bold struggle, initiated by the animals, that transforms Mr. Jones's Manor Farm into Animal Farm--a wholly democratic society built on the credo that All Animals Are Created Equal. But are they?
Cat’s Cradle is Kurt Vonnegut’s satirical commentary on modern man and his madness. An apocalyptic tale of this planet’s ultimate fate, it features a midget as the protagonist, a complete, original theology created by a calypso singer, and a vision of the future that is at once blackly fatalistic and hilariously funny. A book that left an indelible mark on an entire generation of readers, Cat’s Cradle is one of the twentieth century’s most important works—and Vonnegut at his very best.
“[Vonnegut is] an unimitative and inimitable social satirist.”—Harper’s Magazine
“Our finest black-humorist . . . We laugh in self-defense.”—Atlantic Monthly
Mitch Rapp was a gifted college athlete without a care in the world…and then tragedy struck. Terrorists attacked innocent American citizens, and Rapp’s girlfriend was among the murdered. Two hundred and seventy souls perished on that cold December night, and thousands of family and friends were left searching for comfort. Mitch Rapp was one of them, but he was not interested in comfort. Now he wants retribution.
Two decades of cutthroat partisan politics have left the CIA and the country in an increasingly vulnerable position. Cold War veteran CIA Operations Director Thomas Stansfield knows he must prepare his people for the next war. America must confront Islamic terrorism with full force. Stansfield directs his protégée, Irene Kennedy, and his old Cold War colleague, Stan Hurley, to form a new group of clandestine operatives who will work outside the normal chain of command—men who do not exist.
What type of man is willing to kill for his country without putting on a uniform? Six months of intense training have prepared him to take the war to the enemy’s doorstep, and he does so with brutal efficiency. Rapp starts in Istanbul, where he assassinates the Turkish arms dealer who sold the explosives used in the terrorist attack. Rapp then moves on to Hamburg with his team and across Europe, leaving a trail of bodies. All roads lead to Beirut, though, and what Rapp doesn't know is that the enemy is aware of his existence and has prepared a trap. The hunter is about to become the hunted, and Rapp will need every ounce of skill and cunning if he is to survive the war-ravaged city and its various terrorist factions.
Behind the steely gaze of the nation's ultimate hero is a young man primed to become an American assassin.
The Sirens of Titan is an outrageous romp through space, time, and morality. The richest, most depraved man on Earth, Malachi Constant, is offered a chance to take a space journey to distant worlds with a beautiful woman at his side. Of course there’ s a catch to the invitation–and a prophetic vision about the purpose of human life that only Vonnegut has the courage to tell.
“Reading Vonnegut is addictive!”—Commonweal
The fallout from a horrific Washington explosion has just begun—and so has CIA superagent Mitch Rapp’s hunt for a killer with a personal agenda—in this explosive thriller from #1 New York Times bestselling author Vince Flynn.
In the final weeks of a fierce presidential campaign, a motorcade carrying candidate Josh Alexander is shattered by a car bomb. Soon after the attack, Alexander is carried to victory by a sympathy vote, but his assailants have not been found. When CIA director Irene Kennedy and Special Agent Skip McMahon receive damaging intelligence on Washington’s most powerful players, they call on Mitch Rapp—the one man reckless enough to unravel a global network of contract killers on an explosive mission that leads back to the heart of our nation’s capital…and the inner sanctum of the Oval Office.
Among them is a great dreamer, an immigrant who pulled himself from the depths of poverty to become one of the wealthiest and admired men in the world. That man is Andrew Ryan, and he believed that great men and women deserve better. And so he set out to create the impossible, a utopia free from government, censorship, and moral restrictions on science--where what you give is what you get. He created Rapture---the shining city below the sea.
But as we all know, this utopia suffered a great tragedy. This is the story of how it all came to be . . .and how it all ended.
At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
After a CIA agent mysteriously dies overseas, his top asset surfaces with a startling and terrifying claim. There’s just one problem—no one knows if she can be trusted.
But when six exchange students go missing, two airplane passengers trade places, and one political-asylum seeker is arrested, a deadly chain of events is set in motion.
With the United States facing an imminent and devastating attack, America’s new president must turn to covert counterterrorism operative Scot Harvath to help carry out two of the most dangerous operations in the country’s history.
Code-named "Gold Dust" and "Blackbird," they are shrouded in absolute secrecy as either of them, if discovered, will constitute an act of war.
Scot Harvath is now the country's only hope. Fighting his way through the burning streets of Manhattan, he must mount his own operation to locate a man the United States government refuses to admit even exists.
In American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis imaginatively explores the incomprehensible depths of madness and captures the insanity of violence in our time or any other. Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
Navy SEAL turned covert operative Scot Harvath is called to action in Brad Thor’s red-hot thriller—a “must read for our times” (James Rollins). Buried within the black ops budgets of the Department of Defense, a newly created spy agency reports only to a secret panel of military insiders. Its job is to target America’s enemies—both foreign and domestic—under a charter of three simple words: Find, Fix, and Finish.
When a bombing in Rome kills a group of American college students, the evidence points to a dangerous colleague from Harvath’s past. Tasked with leveraging this relationship to lure the man out of hiding, Harvath must destroy him. But what if it is the wrong man?
In Chicago, a young woman is struck by a taxi in a hit-and-run, and the family’s attorney uncovers a shocking connection to the Rome bombing. Harvath must link together the disparate violence and race to prevent one of the most audacious and unthinkable acts of war in the history of mankind.
Peace may finally be at hand in the Middle East, as Jack Ryan, Deputy Director of Intelligence for the CIA, lays the groundwork for a plan that could end centuries of conflict. But ruthless terrorists have a final, desperate card to play: a nuclear weapon hidden somewhere in the United States.
With one terrible act, distrust mounts, forces collide, and the floundering U.S. president seems unable to cope with the crisis. With the world on the verge of nuclear disaster, Ryan must frantically seek a solution—before the chiefs of state lose control of themselves and the world.
From the national bestselling author of The Lions of Lucerne, Path of the Assassin, and State of the Union comes the most gripping international thriller yet featuring Navy SEAL turned covert counterterrorism agent Scot Harvath.
"Scot Harvath is the perfect all-American hero for the post-September 11th world."
-- Nelson DeMille
When a mystery thousands of years in the making threatens to catapult the enemies of America to a sure and decisive victory, the only person the president can call for help is the man the administration has just fired.
Caught live on Al Jazeera in an off-the-books operation, Scot Harvath's career has been terminated and he is forced to go to ground as the president bows to pressure from a ruthless senator with her sights set on the White House. But when the tide in the war on terror suddenly turns against the U.S., the president has no choice but to secretly bring Harvath back inside.
Ducking a congressional subpoena, Harvath travels to the Mediterranean, where he learns of a shadowy organization that has been combing the earth for decades in search of the ultimate weapon to use against the United States and her allies.
Now, after three summers of record-setting heat across present-day Europe, one steadily melting Alpine glacier has given up an ancient secret--one with the potential to thrust civilization back into the Dark Ages.
From Cyprus, London, and Paris, to Italy, Switzerland, and Saudi Arabia, Harvath must race against the clock to stop one of the greatest evils ever to face the United States. With his characteristic high-voltage action, sweeping international locales, and meticulous research, Brad Thor has created another supercharged novel that is sure to thrill.
On a cold January morning, the United States awakes to discover that an old enemy, one long believed dead and buried, has crawled out of its grave to lay siege to the world's only superpower.
With the stunning discovery that enhanced Soviet-made suitcase nukes have been secreted in America's major cities, President Jack Rutledge gathers his National Security Council to weigh the feasibility of a first strike against the Russian Federation. There's only one problem. For over two decades, the Russians have been funneling international aid money into a top secret air defense system, which has just been brought on-line and which will render any conventional attack upon their country utterly ineffective.
After exhausting all of his other options, and with Soviet sleeper agents preparing to detonate their deadly payloads across the United States, the president turns to the nation's final hope, ex-Navy SEAL and Secret Service Agent Scot Harvath.
Assigned to a covert section of the Department of Homeland Security and charged with defending the nation against all foreign aggressors by any means necessary, Harvath finds himself hand-picked by the president to unravel a brilliantly orchestrated, fiendishly timed conspiracy that has already shattered the fragile peace between the world's nations and which, if successful, will leave the United States in smoldering ruins.
With family friend and former Deputy FBI Director Gary Lawlor nowhere to be found and suspected of betraying his country, Harvath embarks on an adventure that will test the bonds of loyalty and reveal a nation's deepest secrets.
As high-voltage and timely as they come, State of the Union is a frighteningly real, headline-ripping tale of espionage and intrigue that will keep readers guessing until the last tantalizing piece of the puzzle locks into place.
With exotic international locales, hair-raising suspense, and scenes of pulse-pounding action, Brad Thor has once again reaffirmed his position as the thriller writer readers and critics alike have hailed as Clancy, Cussler, and Ludlum all rolled into one.
If you’re one of the hundreds of thousands who devoured Babe Walker’s New York Times bestselling novel White Girl Problems or one of the million people who read her blog or follow her on Twitter daily, then you’ve obviously been waiting with bated breath for her hilarious follow-up novel, Psychos.
Fresh from a four-month stint in rehab for her “alleged” shopping addiction, Babe Walker returns home to Bel Air ten pounds lighter (thanks to a stomach virus), having made amends (she told a counselor with bad skin she was smart) and confronted her past (after meeting her birth mother for the first time—a fashion model turned farmer lesbian). Although delighted to be home and determined to maintain her hard-won inner peace, Babe now faces a host of outside forces seemingly intent on derailing her path to positive change. Not only is she being trailed by an anonymous stalker, but she’s also reunited with the love of her life, a relationship that she cannot seem to stop self-sabotaging.
Babe’s newfound spirituality, coupled with her faith in the universe and its messages, leads her all over the world: shoulder dancing in Paris, tripping out in Amsterdam, and hooking up in the Mediterranean, only to land her back in New York City, forced to choose between a man who is perfect in every way (except for one small detail) and a man who could be The One if only he didn’t drive Babe to utter insanity.
Unapologetic and uproarious, Psychos is the send-up of the season—already as timeless as vintage Dior.
"Bracing and spectacular." - Providence Sunday Journal
Anti-Terrorist Task Force agent John Corey and his wife, FBI agent Kate Mayfield, have been posted overseas to Sana'a, Yemen-one of the most dangerous places in the Middle East. While there, they will be working with a small team to track down one of the masterminds behind the USS Cole bombing: a high-ranking Al Qaeda operative known as The Panther. Ruthless and elusive, he's wanted for multiple terrorist acts and murders-and the U.S. government is determined to bring him down, no matter the cost. As latecomers to a deadly game, John and Kate don't know the rules, the players, or the score. What they do know is that there is more to their assignment than meets the eye-and that the hunters are about to become the hunted.
Filled with breathtaking plot turns and told in John Corey's inimitable voice, THE PANTHER raises disturbing questions about whether we can ever know who our enemies - or our allies - really are.
Cosmopolitan Magazine calls Addison's books, "...easy, frothy fun!"
*Can be read as a standalone novel*
Velvet Kisses (3:AM Kisses 6) Romantic Comedy
Marley Jackson has an axe to grind with the entire male population. After having her heart brutally broken, she’s out to prove to herself, and the world, that a woman only needs one thing from a man—and it isn’t love.
Wyatt James isn’t interested in anything that resembles a commitment. He’s self-made, secure, and happy to entertain a one-night stand any day of the week—enter Marley.
Marley quickly dispels the idea that she’s anybody’s one-night stand. What Marley has in store for Wyatt is far more complex and requires a binding contract to back it.
Marley and Wyatt aren’t in it for love. Marley is looking to glean some expertise in the bedroom. Wyatt is looking to find some solace after a string of nameless faces that have rocked his bed.
But when feelings change, and that four-letter word takes ahold of both their hearts, they’re left to face the fact they might be in deeper than either of them thought possible.
Marley and Wyatt smolder beneath the sheets.
She’s eager to learn—yet, bossy as hell.
He’s eager to lay down one hard lesson after the other, yet determined to save her from herself.
Sometimes heartbreak is the greatest teacher.
Sometimes it leads you into the arms of the one you belonged with right from the start.
“A modern-day successor to tomes such as The Hunt for Red October from the late Tom Clancy.” –USA Today
What Will World War III Look Like?
Ghost Fleet is a page-turning imagining of a war set in the not-too-distant future. Navy captains battle through a modern-day Pearl Harbor; fighter pilots duel with stealthy drones; teenage hackers fight in digital playgrounds; Silicon Valley billionaires mobilize for cyber-war; and a serial killer carries out her own vendetta. Ultimately, victory will depend on who can best blend the lessons of the past with the weapons of the future. But what makes the story even more notable is that every trend and technology in book—no matter how sci-fi it may seem—is real.
The debut novel by two leading experts on the cutting edge of national security, Ghost Fleet has drawn praise as a new kind of technothriller while also becoming the new “must-read” for military leaders around the world.
“A wild book, a real page-turner.”—The Economist
“Ghost Fleet is a thrilling trip through a terrifyingly plausible tomorrow. This is not just an excellent book, but an excellent book by those who know what they are talking about. Prepare to lose some sleep.”—D. B. Weiss, writer of HBO’s Game of Thrones
“It’s exciting, but it’s terrifying at the same time.”—General Robert Neller, commandant of the U.S. Marine Corps
In Breakfast of Champions, one of Kurt Vonnegut’s most beloved characters, the aging writer Kilgore Trout, finds to his horror that a Midwest car dealer is taking his fiction as truth. What follows is murderously funny satire, as Vonnegut looks at war, sex, racism, success, politics, and pollution in America and reminds us how to see the truth.
“Free-wheeling, wild and great . . . uniquely Vonnegut.”—Publishers Weekly
The prequel to The Cartel, and set about 10 years earlier, The Power of the Dog introduces a brilliant cast of characters. Art Keller is an obsessive DEA agent. The Barrera brothers are heirs to a drug empire. Nora Hayden is a jaded teenager who becomes a high-class hooker. Father Parada is a powerful and incorruptible Catholic priest. Callan is an Irish kid from Hell’s kitchen who grows up to be a merciless hit man. And they are all trapped in the world of the Mexican drug Federación. From the streets of New York City to Mexico City and Tijuana to the jungles of Central America, this is the war on drugs like you’ve never seen it.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
The bestselling Damned chronicled Madison’s journey across the unspeakable (and really gross) landscape of the afterlife to confront the Devil himself. But her story isn’t over yet. In a series of electronic dispatches from the Great Beyond, Doomed describes the ultimate showdown between Good and Evil.
After a Halloween ritual gone awry, Madison finds herself trapped in Purgatory—or, as mortals like you and I know it, Earth. She can see and hear every detail of the world she left behind, yet she’s invisible to everyone who’s still alive. Not only do people look right through her, they walk right through her as well. The upside is that, no longer subject to physical limitations, she can pass through doors and walls. Her first stop is her parents’ luxurious apartment, where she encounters the ghost of her long-deceased grandmother. For Madison, the encounter triggers memories of the awful summer she spent upstate with Nana Minnie and her grandfather, Papadaddy. As she revisits the painful truth of what transpired over those months (including a disturbing and finally fatal meeting in a rest stop’s fetid men’s room, in which . . . well, never mind), her saga of eternal damnation takes on a new and sinister meaning. Satan has had Madison in his sights from the very beginning: through her and her narcissistic celebrity parents, he plans to engineer an era of eternal damnation. For everyone.
Once again, our unconventional but plucky heroine must face her fears and gather her wits for the battle of a lifetime. Dante Alighieri, watch your back; Chuck Palahniuk is gaining on you.
I hate my horse. Every job I've ever had is the worst job I've ever had. He's not a doctor, a lawyer, or a prince. I'll eat anything, as long as it's gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic.In an Adderall-induced flash of inspiration, Babe Walker has managed to create one of the most enjoyable, unforgettable memoirs in years.
It is the early 19th century, when European traders and adventurers first began to penetrate the forbidding Chinese mainland. And it is in this exciting time and exotic place that a giant of an Englishman, Dirk Straun, sets out to turn the desolate island of Hong Kong into an impregnable fortress of British power, and to make himself supreme ruler…Tai-Pan!
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Welcome to the Monkey House is a collection of Kurt Vonnegut’s shorter works. Originally printed in publications as diverse as The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction and The Atlantic Monthly, these superb stories share Vonnegut’s audacious sense of humor and extraordinary range of creative vision.
Includes the following stories:
“Where I Live”
“Who Am I This Time?”
“Welcome to the Monkey House”
“Long Walk to Forever”
“The Foster Portfolio”
“All the King’s Horses”
“Tom Edison’s Shaggy Dog”
“More Stately Mansions”
“The Hyannis Port Story”
“Report on the Barnhouse Effect”
“The Euphio Question”
“Go Back to Your Precious Wife and Son”
“Deer in the Works”
“Unready to Wear”
“The Kid Nobody Could Handle”
“The Manned Missiles”
“Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow”
Clinging blindly to a bale of Jamaican pot, Joey Perrone is plucked from the ocean by former cop and current loner Mick Stranahan. Instead of rushing to the police and reporting her husband’s crime, Joey decides to stay dead and (with Mick’s help) screw with Chaz until he screws himself.
As Joey haunts and taunts her homicidal husband, as Chaz’s cold-blooded cohorts in pollution grow uneasy about his ineptitude and increasingly erratic behavior, as Mick Stranahan discovers that six failed marriages and years of island solitude haven’t killed the reckless romantic in him, we’re taken on a hilarious, full-throttle, pure Hiaasen ride through the warped politics and mayhem of the human environment, and the human heart.
BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.
Here is Hiaasen doing what he does better than anyone else: spinning a tale at once fiercely pointed and wickedly funny in which the greedy, the corrupt, and the degraders of what’s left of pristine Florida—now, of the Bahamas as well—get their comeuppance in mordantly ingenious, diabolically entertaining fashion.
From the Hardcover edition.
Johannes Cabal sold his soul years ago in order to learn the laws of necromancy. Now he wants it back. Amused and slightly bored, Satan proposes a little wager: Johannes has to persuade one hundred people to sign over their souls or he will be damned forever. This time for real. Accepting the bargain, Jonathan is given one calendar year and a traveling carnival to complete his task. With little time to waste, Johannes raises a motley crew from the dead and enlists his brother, Horst, a charismatic vampire to help him run his nefarious road show, resulting in mayhem at every turn.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Galápagos takes the reader back one million years, to A.D. 1986. A simple vacation cruise suddenly becomes an evolutionary journey. Thanks to an apocalypse, a small group of survivors stranded on the Galápagos Islands are about to become the progenitors of a brave, new, and totally different human race. In this inimitable novel, America’ s master satirist looks at our world and shows us all that is sadly, madly awry–and all that is worth saving.
Praise for Galápagos
“The best Vonnegut novel yet!”—John Irving
“Beautiful . . . provocative, arresting reading.”—USA Today
“A satire in the classic tradition . . . a dark vision, a heartfelt warning.”—The Detroit Free Press
“Interesting, engaging, sad and yet very funny . . . Vonnegut is still in top form. If he has no prescription for alleviating the pain of the human condition, at least he is a first-rate diagnostician.”—Susan Isaacs, Newsday
“Dark . . . original and funny.”—People
“A triumph of style, originality and warped yet consistent logic . . . a condensation, an evolution of Vonnegut’s entire career, including all the issues and questions he has pursued relentlessly for four decades.”—The Philadelphia Inquirer
“Wild details, wry humor, outrageous characters . . . Galápagos is a comic lament, a sadly ironic vison.”—St. Louis Post-Dispatch
“A work of high comedy, sadness and imagination.”—The Denver Post
“Wacky wit and irreverent imagination . . . and the full range of technical innovations have made [Vonnegut] America’s preeminent experimental novelist.”—The Minneapolis Star and Tribune
Born in the shadows and kept from heads of state, there are some missions so deadly, so sensitive, that they simply don’t exist.
When one such mission goes horribly wrong, a wave of dramatic terrorist attacks is set in motion. Their goal: the complete and total collapse of the United States.
With the CIA’s intelligence abilities hobbled, former Navy SEAL Team 6 member turned covert counterterrorism operative Scot Harvath launches an audacious plan to infiltrate the terrorists’ network and prevent one of the biggest threats the United States has ever faced.
Simultaneously, a foreign wet work team has been sent to California. Their target: one of Hollywood’s most famous filmmakers.
While working on a secret documentary project, movie producer Larry Salomon has unknowingly exposed one of the world’s wealthiest and most politically connected powerbrokers—a man with a radical anti-American agenda poised to plunge the nation into deadly, irreversible chaos.
As the plots rocket to their pulse-pounding conclusion and the identities of the perpetrators are laid stunningly bare, Harvath will be left with only one means to save America. Unable to trust anyone, he will be forced to go Full Black.
Intense and frighteningly realistic, FULL BLACK is, hands down, Brad Thor’s most riveting thriller to date.
The setting is Hong Kong, 1963. The action spans scarcely more than a week, but these are days of high adventure: from kidnapping and murder to financial double-dealing and natural catastrophes–fire, flood, landslide. Yet they are days filled as well with all the mystery and romance of Hong Kong–the heart of Asia–rich in every trade…money, flesh, opium, power.
From the Paperback edition.
“I was just a baby when we were relocated and I don’t remember much. Everybody has that black hole at the beginning of their life. That time you can’t remember. Your first step. Your first taste of table food. My real memories begin in our assigned living area in Compound 14.”
Just a generation ago, this place was called America. Now, after the worldwide implementation of a UN-led program called Agenda 21, it’s simply known as “the Republic.” There is no president. No Congress. No Supreme Court. No freedom.
There are only the Authorities.
Citizens have two primary goals in the new Republic: to create clean energy and to create new human life. Those who cannot do either are of no use to society. This bleak and barren existence is all that eighteen-year-old Emmeline has ever known. She dutifully walks her energy board daily and accepts all male pairings assigned to her by the Authorities. Like most citizens, she keeps her head down and her eyes closed.
Until the day they come for her mother.
“You save what you think you’re going to lose.”
Woken up to the harsh reality of her life and her family’s future inside the Republic, Emmeline begins to search for the truth. Why are all citizens confined to ubiquitous concrete living spaces? Why are Compounds guarded by Gatekeepers who track all movements? Why are food, water and energy rationed so strictly? And, most important, why are babies taken from their mothers at birth? As Emmeline begins to understand the true objectives of Agenda 21 she realizes that she is up against far more than she ever thought. With the Authorities closing in, and nowhere to run, Emmeline embarks on an audacious plan to save her family and expose the Republic—but is she already too late?
In the spring of 2017, the U.S. economy is rebounding under President Stacy Anne Barbeau, the country’s first female president. But her leadership is about to be severely tested: Russian president Gennadiy Gryzlov has sent Special Troops, disguised as pro-Russian activists, into Ukraine and Moldova. Though NATO is outraged, its response is tepid. Refusing to let Russian aggression go unpunished, former U.S. president Kevin Martindale approaches Polish president Peter Wilk with a radical solution: a counterattack using a covert force of Cybernetic Infantry Device (CID): manned robots.
Underwritten by the wealthy Wilk, Operation Iron Wolf is launched—without the knowledge of the Americans or its NATO partners. The CID’s initial strikes are successful, infuriating Gryzlov and propelling President Barbeau to pledge western help to investigate the attack. With international tensions at the boiling point, Martindale’s secret alliance, supported by the best military technology, is determined to outmaneuver the Russians.
In this battle that will determine the fate of Eastern Europe, just which side will win?
June 632 A.D.: Deep within the Uranah Valley of Mount Arafat in Mecca, the Prophet Mohammed shares with his closest companions a final and startling revelation. Within days, he is assassinated.
September 1789: U.S. Minister to France Thomas Jefferson, who is charged with forging a truce with the violent Muslim pirates of the Barbary Coast, makes a shocking discovery—one that could forever impact the world’s relationship with Islam.
Present day: When a car bomb explodes outside a Parisian café, Scot Harvath is thrust back into the life he has tried so desperately to leave behind. Saving the intended victim of the attack, Harvath becomes party to a perilous race to uncover a secret so powerful that militant Islam could be defeated once and for all. But as desperate as the American government is to have the information brought to light, there are powerful forces determined that Mohammed’s mysterious final revelation continue to remain hidden forever.
What Jason Bourne was to the Cold War, Scot Harvath is to the War on Terror. In The Last Patriot, readers will be engrossed as Harvath once again takes them on a whirlwind tour through international cities and nail-biting suspense where the stakes are higher than they have ever been before.
Things Fall Apart is the first of three novels in Chinua Achebe's critically acclaimed African Trilogy. It is a classic narrative about Africa's cataclysmic encounter with Europe as it establishes a colonial presence on the continent. Told through the fictional experiences of Okonkwo, a wealthy and fearless Igbo warrior of Umuofia in the late 1800s, Things Fall Apart explores one man's futile resistance to the devaluing of his Igbo traditions by British political andreligious forces and his despair as his community capitulates to the powerful new order.
With more than 20 million copies sold and translated into fifty-seven languages, Things Fall Apart provides one of the most illuminating and permanent monuments to African experience. Achebe does not only capture life in a pre-colonial African village, he conveys the tragedy of the loss of that world while broadening our understanding of our contemporary realities.
When Rohan became the new prince of the Desert, ruler of the kingdom granted to his family for as long as the Long Sands spewed fire, he took the crown with two goals in mind. First and foremost, he sought to bring permanent peace to his world of divided princedoms. And, in a land where dragon-slaying was a proof of manhood, Rohan was the sole champion of the dragons, fighting desperately to preserve the last remaining lords of the sky and with them a secret which might be the salvation of his people....
Sioned, the Sunrunner witch who was fated by Fire to be Rohan’s bride, had mastered the magic of sunlight and moonglow, catching hints of a yet to be formed pattern which could irrevocably affect the destinies of Sunrunners and ordinary mortals alike. Yet caught in the machinations of the Lady of Goddess Keep, and of Prince Rohan and his sworn enemy, the treacherously cunning High Prince, could Sioned alter this crucial pattern to protect her lord from the menace of a war that threatened to set the land ablaze?
In a world where science and learning are banned and the simple utterance of the Unspeakable Word, I, is punishable by death, a man named Equality 7-2521 struggles with his unquenchable desire to investigate, to think, to know. His instincts are a “curse” that threatens to bring him to the attention of a government dedicated to the elimination of the self. But Equality 7-2521 cannot ignore his true nature, just as he cannot ignore the fruits of his curiosity: the discovery of the mysterious “power of the sky.” His great awakening—in heart, mind, and soul—represents the inevitable triumph of the individual over the collective.
A riveting, thought-provoking parable based on the author’s experience of life in a socialist state, Anthem serves as an invaluable introduction to Ayn Rand, her fiction, and her philosophy.
This modern classic is the story of intransigent young architect Howard Roark, whose integrity was as unyielding as granite...of Dominique Francon, the exquisitely beautiful woman who loved Roark passionately, but married his worst enemy...and of the fanatic denunciation unleashed by an enraged society against a great creator. As fresh today as it was then, Rand’s provocative novel presents one of the most challenging ideas in all of fiction—that man’s ego is the fountainhead of human progress...
“A writer of great power. She has a subtle and ingenious mind and the capacity of writing brilliantly, beautifully, bitterly...This is the only novel of ideas written by an American woman that I can recall.”—The New York Times
• spook (spo͞ok) n.: A specter; a ghost. Slang for “intelligence agent.”
• country (ˈkən-trē) n.: In the mind or in reality. The World. The United States of America, New Improved Edition. What lies before you. What lies behind.
• spook country (spo͞ok ˈkən-trē) n.: The place where we all have landed, few by choice. The place we are learning to live.
Hollis Henry is a journalist, on investigative assignment for a magazine called Node, which doesn’t exist yet. Bobby Chombo apparently does exist, as a producer. But in his day job, Bobby is a troubleshooter for military navigation equipment. He refuses to sleep in the same place twice. He meets no one. And Hollis Henry has been told to find him...
“A devastatingly precise reflection of the American zeitgeist.”—The Washington Post Book World
Brad Thor, the New York Times bestselling author of Takedown, delivers an explosive international thriller featuring Navy SEAL turned Homeland Security operative Scot Harvath, who somewhere, somehow, has left the wrong person alive.
"Thou shalt not negotiate with terrorists..."
Six months ago: In the dead of the night, five of the most dangerous detainees in the war on terror are pulled from their isolation cells in Guantanamo Bay, held at gunpoint, and told to strip off their orange jumpsuits. Issued civilian clothes and driven to the base airfield, they are loaded aboard a Boeing 727 and set free.
Present day: Covert counterterrorism agent Scot Harvath awakens to discover that his world has changed violently -- and forever. A sadistic assassin with a personal vendetta is wreaking havoc of biblical proportions. Unleashing nightmarish horrors on those closest to Harvath, the attacker thrusts everything Harvath holds dear -- including his life -- into absolute peril.
Ordered by the president to stay out of the investigation, Harvath is forced to mount his own operation to uncover the conspiracy and to exact revenge. When he discovers a connection between the attacks and a group of prisoners secretly released from Guantanamo, Harvath must ask himself previously unthinkable questions about the organizations and the nation he has spent his life serving.
A renegade from his own government, Harvath will place his life on the line as his search for the truth draws him into a showdown with one of the most dangerous men on the face of the earth.
Brad Thor roars through this nonstop adventure full of international intrigue, twisted betrayals, and ultimate revenge.
“A big, breathless tale of nonstop suspense.” —Janet Maslin, The New York Times
“The pages fly by ferociously fast. Simply unputdownable.” —Booklist
A breakneck race against time…and an implacable enemy.
An anonymous young woman murdered in a run-down hotel, all identifying characteristics dissolved by acid.
A father publicly beheaded in the blistering heat of a Saudi Arabian public square.
A notorious Syrian biotech expert found eyeless in a Damascus junkyard.
Smoldering human remains on a remote mountainside in Afghanistan.
A flawless plot to commit an appalling crime against humanity.
One path links them all, and only one man can make the journey.
God begins to lose control over his creations. Through his chain
smoking, whiskey fueled journey, he must reassert Himself as man's
creator whilst finding time to deal with his problematic teenage son.
Even with his faithful but morally downtrodden assistant, Peter, never
more than a beer bottle top throw from his side, there are bound to be
one or two mishaps along the way.
With the death of his heroic father, bomber and space warfare veteran Patrick McLanahan, Bradley McLanahan must now fly solo, leading a team of young engineers designing Starfire, the world’s first orbiting solar power plant.
Starfire will not only deliver unlimited and inexpensive electricity anywhere on planet Earth, it can also transmit power to the moon, and even to spacecraft and asteroids. It’s a crucial first step in the exploration of the solar system, and Bradley and his team are on the cutting edge.
But U.S. president Kenneth Phoenix’s plans to militarize and industrialize Earth’s orbit sparks an arms race in space that eclipses the darkest and most terrifying days of the Cold War. Before he can prevent it, Bradley and his team are caught at the center of a battle that threatens to become an all-out global conflict for control of space.
Now married with children, Kultgen's lewd and sex-obsessed narrator once again offers up his deep (and not so deep) thoughts on love, marriage, kids, and (naturally) sex: from birthday sex to interns to parenting, The Average American Male looks upon the institution of marriage with the same deadpan smirk he has brought to the rest of his sex-addled, perennially disaffected life.