- #1 New York Times Bestseller for 8 years running
- Now celebrating its 25th anniversary
Simple ideas, lasting love
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge. How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?
In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.
The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.
Includes the Couple's Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.
President/CEO of Franklin Entertainment and former Sony Pictures executive DeVon Franklin and award-winning actress Meagan Good have learned firsthand that some people must wait patiently for “the one” to come into their lives. They spent years crossing paths but it wasn’t until they were thrown together while working on the film Jumping the Broom that their storybook romance began.
Faced with starting a new relationship and wanting to avoid potentially devastating pitfalls, DeVon and Meagan chose to do something almost unheard of in today’s society—abstain from sex until they were married.
DeVon and Meagan share the life-changing message that waiting—rather than rushing a relationship—can help you find the person you’re meant to be with. The Wait is filled with candid his-and-hers accounts of the most important moments of their relationship and practical advice on how waiting for everything—from dating to sex—can transform relationships, allowing you to find a deep connection based on patience, trust, and faith.
A Revolutionary Message“I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught.”“This is the key that I have been missing.”“You connected all the dots for me.”“As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material.”“You’re on to something huge here.”A Simple MessageA wife has one driving need—to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need—to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily, and biblically.
A Message That WorksBased on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the Love and Respect message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some Love and Respect.
Tyrese and Rev are unlikely best friends—Rev is married with six kids and Tyrese is a single dad still hesitant to settle down. But after an unexpected disagreement in which Rev insisted that marriage is forever, and Tyrese pushed that you could bail when the sex went bad, the two decided not just to agree to disagree but to team up and open their debate to a larger audience. Even though they’re at different points in their journeys, both have clear insights on what it takes to make a relationship work and what can sink it instantly.
Manology is a guide to regaining your relationship confidence and weeding out the cheaters, MANipulators, and pimps from the good men. Just follow Tyrese and Rev’s advice and finally understand the reasons behind your man’s actions. Some men’s behavior can’t be changed, but it’s better to face the truth. No matter how painful or distressing that truth might be, if you know it, you can confront it and move past it. Tyrese and Rev acknowledge that it can be difficult for men to open up, but they present real strategies for men and women to have honest and open discussions about relationship expectations.
With Rev’s hard-earned knowledge on what it takes to make a marriage work, and Tyrese’s sometimes uncomfortable but always straight talk on the single man’s mind-set, Manology is your one true source of knowledge to help you take control of your love life and truly understand your man.
This revised and expanded edition has been updated throughout and includes new writing that highlights the special significance of intimate emotional needs in marriage.
Based on the acclaimed sermon series by New York Times bestselling author Timothy Keller, this book shows everyone—Christians, skeptics, singles, longtime married couples, and those about to be engaged—the vision of what marriage should be according to the Bible.
Modern culture would have you believe that everyone has a soul mate; that romance is the most important part of a successful marriage; that your spouse is there to help you realize your potential; that marriage does not mean forever, but merely for now; and that starting over after a divorce is the best solution to seemingly intractable marriage issues. But these modern-day assumptions are wrong. Timothy Keller, with insights from Kathy, his wife of thirty-seven years, shows marriage to be a glorious relationship that is also misunderstood and mysterious. The Meaning of Marriage offers instruction on how to have a successful marriage, and is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.
Look out for Timothy Keller's latest book, God's Wisdom for Navigating Life, available from Viking in Fall 2017.
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage.
Maintain a love map.
Foster fondness and admiration.
Turn toward instead of away.
Solve solvable conflicts.
Cope with conflicts you can't resolve.
Create shared meaning.
Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
La La Anthony shares her one-of-a-kind rules on matters of the heart.
Star of VH1’s La La’s Full Court Life, actress, entrepreneur, and wife of New York Knicks star Carmelo Anthony, La La Anthony found love and success on her own terms. But before La La was a strong woman balancing a growing career, a high-profile marriage, and motherhood, she suffered through bad dates, tumultuous relationships, and backstabbing friends. She learned the hard way how to rise above it all to live the life she loves.
Now La La channels those lessons into a personal playbook, providing empowering go-to advice for healthy relationships and a happy life. Candidly, she draws on her personal experiences, revealing intimate details about her marriage and past relationships to illustrate what she’s learned the hard way: from teaching your man the right way to treat a woman to dealing with a fickle friend and, of course, how to snag a baller. Through her non-nonsense advice on dating, love, marriage, and more, you will learn how to take control of your relationships, rise above adversity, and live your life by your rules.
The Love Playbook is the everywoman guide to dating, finding love, building healthy relationships, and staying true to yourself along the way.
“The first rule of love is that the ball is in the woman’s court.”
The Newest Oprah's Bookclub 2016 Selection
The highly anticipated new memoir by bestselling author Glennon Doyle Melton tells the story of her journey of self-discovery after the implosion of her marriage.
Just when Glennon Doyle Melton was beginning to feel she had it all figured out—three happy children, a doting spouse, and a writing career so successful that her first book catapulted to the top of the New York Times bestseller list—her husband revealed his infidelity and she was forced to realize that nothing was as it seemed. A recovering alcoholic and bulimic, Glennon found that rock bottom was a familiar place. In the midst of crisis, she knew to hold on to what she discovered in recovery: that her deepest pain has always held within it an invitation to a richer life.
Love Warrior is the story of one marriage, but it is also the story of the healing that is possible for any of us when we refuse to settle for good enough and begin to face pain and love head-on. This astonishing memoir reveals how our ideals of masculinity and femininity can make it impossible for a man and a woman to truly know one another—and it captures the beauty that unfolds when one couple commits to unlearning everything they’ve been taught so that they can finally, after thirteen years of marriage, commit to living true—true to themselves and to each other.
Love Warrior is a gorgeous and inspiring account of how we are born to be warriors: strong, powerful, and brave; able to confront the pain and claim the love that exists for us all. This chronicle of a beautiful, brutal journey speaks to anyone who yearns for deeper, truer relationships and a more abundant, authentic life.
Jennifer Arnold and Bill Klein have inspired millions as stars of TLC’s hit show The Little Couple. Though they both have dwarfism, they have knocked down every obstacle they have encountered together with a positive, can-do attitude. The show has featured the lives of Jennifer (a respected neonatologist) and Bill (a successful entrepreneur) from their marriage in 2009, to the launch of their pet shop, to the adoption of their children, to Jen’s overcoming cancer.
Now, for the first time Jen and Bill are letting readers into their private lives with behind-the-scenes, never-before-told stories about how they fell in love, what inspires them, and the passions that drive their success. They will open up about their struggles with cancer, infertility, adoption, and simply living life in a challenging world.
Jen and Bill have a simple purpose in life: make the world a better place through encouragement and education. A must-have for fans of the show or anyone who has ever faced a difficult obstacle, Life Is Short (No Pun Intended) gives readers a glance at what inspires these positive people to approach life with such optimism and share their lives with the public every day.
Do you feel like all is lost? Are you ready to give up? There IS still hope.
Dr. James Dobson's “tough love” principles have proven to be uniquely valuable and effective. Unlike most approaches to marriage crisis, the strategy in this groundbreaking classic does not require the willing cooperation of both spouses. Love Must Be Tough offers the guidance that gives you the best chance of rekindling romance, renewing your relationship, and drawing your partner back into your arms.
As a longtime pastor of a big-city church, A.R. Bernard has witnessed couples in every stage of life. He’s been with them as they experienced dizzying joys, unspeakable tragedies, and everything in between.
As men and women have come to Bernard for spiritual counseling and advice, he’s learned patterns of behavior that are repeated time and again. After almost four decades of preaching, teaching, and counseling, he’s seen that while every situation is unique, people’s behaviors and consequences are amazingly consistent. With this in mind, Bernard has developed a simple system for understanding how couples relate to each other.
Maturity, decisiveness, consistency, and strength—these are the four things women want and need most from a man. In his book, Bernard teaches readers how to identify and cultivate these traits toward a happy and long-lasting relationship—one built to weather any storm.
In his moving yet practical book, Hill Harper undertakes a journey both universal and deeply personal in search of answers to these questions. He has conversations with friends and strangers –married, single and divorced – and learns about their private struggles, emotional vulnerabilities, and real concerns, and begins to see common themes emerge. As his journey picks up momentum, Hill begins to recognize his own struggles in other people’s stories, and is encouraged to more deeply examine his own relationship issues.
Why does so much misinformation and mistrust exist between the sexes? Hill addresses the stereotypes that have developed in the Black community, in the hope that by addressing the challenges, Black men and women can find their way to common ground. The Conversation aims to open up the lines of communication, and offers inspiration to those who want to take control of this crisis and start building successful, sustainable relationships.
Because relationship expert Weiner Davis is convinced that feeling sexy is a two-person job, she looks at the problem of -- and the solution to -- low sexual desire from a couple's perspective. Whether you're someone whose passion has faded or someone who's been hungering for touch, you'll learn life-altering lessons about bridging the desire gap and restoring intimacy and friendship to your marriage. And because Weiner Davis knows that one spouse is often more motivated than the other to work on a relationship, she offers creative ways to inspire your partner to change.
Separate chapters address the spouse who's hot, the one who's not, and then both together. If you're the spouse with a lagging libido, you're far from alone. And if you're a man, you'll be surprised to learn that staggering numbers of men, even men whose sexual machinery works just fine, "get headaches" too!
If you're the low-desire spouse, you'll learn about the physiological and psychological factors, including unresolved relationship issues, that may contribute to the chill in your bedroom. You'll learn the truth about sexual desire: that for millions of men or women it doesn't just happen; you have to make it happen. Finally, you'll find specific, pragmatic, and often provocative solutions to help you discover the siren or seducer within.
If you're the more highly sexed partner, you'll breathe a sigh of relief. At last someone understands your feelings about the void in your marriage. Discover why your pleas for touch have fallen upon deaf ears and why your approach to the lull in your sexual relationship could be a sexual turnoff. Most important, you'll find tools you can use to reach out in ways that will make your spouse more responsive. Finally, if your partner is willing, you will learn how to keep the flame of desire burning together.
Full of moving firsthand accounts from couples who have struggled with the erosion of sexual desire and rebuilt their passionate connection, The Sex-Starved Marriage will give you and your spouse the inspiration, encouragement, and answers you need to find your way out of a sex-starved marriage.
Matt Chandler helps navigate these issues for both singles and marrieds by revealing the process Solomon himself followed: Attraction, Courtship, Marriage ... even Arguing. The Mingling of Souls will forever change how you view and approach love.
Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:
Love is not about better communication.
It's about connection.
You'll never get a closer relationship
with your man by talking to him like you
talk to one of your girlfriends.
Male emotions are like women's sexuality:
you can't be too direct too quickly.
There are four ways to connect with a man:touch, activity, sex, routines.
Men want closer marriages just as much as women do,but not if they has to act like a woman.
Talking makes women move closer;
it makes men move away.
The secret of the silent male is this:
his wife supplies the meaning in his life.
The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn’t help.
Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse?
Wife: “Honey, we need to talk about us.”
Husband: “Do we have to?”
Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.
The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require “trying to turn a man into a woman.” Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.
—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger
“It is ‘must’ reading for any couple who has experienced the violation of trust as a result of an affair.”
—Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
A staggering number of couples in America—about 70 percent—have been affected by extramarital affairs. After the Affair is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship. Written by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., a nationally known therapist and acknowledged expert on infidelity, this revised and updated version brings the groundbreaking classic into the 21st century, with a new section dealing with online affairs in cyberspace. For women who are struggling in their marriage—and for clinicians, psychology academics and readers fascinated by of popular psychology—this newly revised and updated edition of After the Affair is essential reading.
If you’re looking to get married and you’re not, there’s most likely a very good reason: you. Hey, you’re certainly not a bad person! You just haven’t yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. That’s where this book comes in. Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article, Tracy McMillan’s Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet dishes out no-holds-barred practical wisdom for women hoping to head down the aisle. And this new edition features even more candid advice and sisterly insight. McMillan points out the behaviors that might be in your blind spot and shows you how to adjust them to get the relationship you deserve. Do any of these chapter headings sound familiar?
• You’re a Bitch: How defensiveness can hide behind a tough exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness.
• You’re a Liar: How to stop lying to men—and get honest with yourself—about the kind of relationship you really want.
• You’re Selfish: The big secret about marriage: It’s about giving something, not getting it.
A funny, insightful guide, Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet will change your life and the way you think about relationships, and it may very well lead you down the aisle.
“Very wise . . . Give this book to every single girlfriend [you] have.”—Marie Claire
“Equal parts BFF, boot-camp instructor, and relationship guru, Tracy McMillan will change the way you think about yourself and your relationships. This book is for every woman out there who wants to have a great marriage.”—Ricki Lake
One woman undertakes a worldwide search to learn the secrets of a great marriage—and finds one foundational truth that could change everything.
Fawn Weaver was a happily married woman running a successful business—and then something happened. Maybe it was divorce rate reports on the evening news, The Real Housewives of Orange County, or any daytime talk show where husbands and wives dramatically reveal their betrayals. Everywhere she looked, Fawn saw negative portrayals of marriage dominating the airwaves and dooming everyone to failure.
Looking at Keith, the love of her life, she knew that wasn’t true. She was determined to find and connect with women just like her—happy and optimistic about marriage, deeply in love with her spouse, and committed to building a strong marriage that stands the test of time.
On a whim,she started the blog HappyWivesClub.com and sent the link to a few of new friends. What started as a casual invitation to five women exploded into an international online club with 150,000 members in more than 100 countries.
Happy Wives Club is Fawn’s journey across the world to meet her friends and discover what makes their marriages great. Join her on this exciting, exotic trip across six continents and through more than eighteen cities. Walk the streets of Mauritius, the historic ruins in Italy, and the vistas of New Zealand and Australia. Go from Cape Town to London, Manila to Buenos Aires, Winnipeg to Zagreb.
Along the way, you will meet everyday women whose marriage secrets span cultures. You will hear their stories, witness their love, and be inspired by the proof that happy, healthy marriages do exist—and yours can be one of them!
It turns out great marriages are all around us—when we look for them. Go on a trip with Fawn and learn the best marriage secrets the world has to offer.
In a man's heart is the desire to master what matters. It's nice to get a complement at work or on the court, but nothing beats hearing your spouse say, "You make me feel loved." If you haven't heard that in a while, or you feel like you're not bringing you're A-game relationally, this book is for you.
The 5 Love Languages® has sold 10 million copies because it is simple, practical, and effective. In this edition, Gary Chapman speaks straight to men about the rewards of learning and speaking their wife's love language. Touched with humor and packed with helpful illustrations and creative pointers, these pages will rouse your inner champion and empower you to master the art of love.
"When you express your love for your wife using her primary love language, it's like hitting the sweet spot on a baseball bat or golf club. It just feels right—and the results are impressive." —Gary Chapman
Includes an updated version of The 5 Love Languages® personal profile.
Gaining its title from Keith Sweat’s R&B popular album and single, Make It Last Forever offers tools to help couples build and maintain strong, long-lasting relationships.
Here is detailed advice on how to better communicate needs and desires to your mate, including suggestions for keeping a relationship romantic and exciting for both parties. Keith also suggests how to fix, mend, and reinvigorate troubled relationships. Finally, Make It Last Forever: Dos and Don’ts reveals the single-most important ingredient of a successful relationship: compatibility. Keith tells readers why it’s so crucial, how to find it, and how to sustain it over the long haul.
The key to creating a deeper bond in your marriage
may lie buried in your childhood.
Your early life experiences create an “intimacy imprint”–an underlying blueprint that shapes your behavior, beliefs, and expectations of all future relationships, especially your marriage. In How We Love, relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you pinpoint the reason your marriage is struggling–and they reveal exactly what you can do about it.
Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, the Yerkoviches identify four types of injured imprints that combine in marriage to trap couples in a repetitive dance of pain. As you discover how your relationship has been guided by these imprints, you’ll gain the insights you need to stop stepping on each other’s toes and instead allow yourselves to be swept along by the music of a richer, deeper relationship.
Will the trust ever come back?
How can things be good between us again?
Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged.
In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.
Through exploring a variety of subjects including the myth of a "soul mate," the different ways men and women think, the conflicting levels of libido, and the necessity to forgive, Gungor proves that the key to marital bliss is not romance or destiny -- it's work and skill. Couples need to work hard at maintaining their relationship and to have the skills to pull it off. The longer spouses wait to learn these skills, the greater their chance of wanting to bail, yet Gungor makes it easy for couples to bring their relationship to the next level.
You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit.
For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to:
· identify damaging behaviors
· gain the skills to respond wisely
· promote healthy change
· stay safe
· understand when, why, and even how to leave
· recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you
Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future.
“Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.”
—Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women
From the Trade Paperback edition.
The seasons of marriage come and go. Each one holds the potential for emotional health and happiness, and each one has its challenges. The purpose of this book is to describe these recurring seasons of marriage, help you and your spouse identify which season your marriage is in, and show you how to enhance your marriage in all four seasons.
Acting right when your spouse acts wrong will not necessarily guarantee a more satisfying marital relationship, nor will it automatically make your spouse change his or her ways–although both could occur. It will, however, help you see how God is stretching you in the midst of your marital difficulties, teach you to respond wisely when wronged, and lead you into a deeper relationship with Christ as you yield your will to his plan for your life and learn to be more like him.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, What the @#!% is wrong with my husband?! In David Finch’s case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, but it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.
Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband with an endearing yet hilarious zeal. His methods for improving his marriage involve excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies, including “Don’t change the radio station when she’s singing along” and “Apologies do not count when you shout them.” Over the course of two years, David transforms himself from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest. He becomes the husband he’d always meant to be.
Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.
In this abridged version of the New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages®, relationships expert Dr. Gary Chapman offers a trimmed-down explanation of his transformational approach to love.
People express and receive love in 5 different ways, called love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The sooner you discover your language and that of your loved one, the sooner you can take your relationship to new heights. And with this summary version of the award-winning book, you don't have to read long to find out.
With disarming wit, clear explanations, and inspiring storytelling, Dr. Chapman only needs a moment of your time to transform your love life.
In The 5 Love Languages, you will discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.
In The 5 Love Languages for Men, Dr. Gary Chapman gears this edition of his #1 New York Times multi-million best seller, The 5 Love Languages, to the needs, challenges, and interests of husbands everywhere. This book offers a straightforward approach that will equip the reader for relational success.
Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time.
Your boss backed you on a project when you met privately in his office, and you went full steam ahead. But at a large gathering of staff—including yours—he suddenly changes his tune and publicly criticizes your poor judgment. When you tell him your concerns for how this will affect your authority, he tells you that the project was ill-conceived and you’ll have to be more careful in the future. You begin to question your competence.
Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, your friends, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back as your friends encourage you to do, you tell them that your mother is often right and that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism.
If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn’t and to believe the unbelieveable. It can happen to you and it probably already has.
How do we know? If you consider answering “yes” to even one of the following questions, you’ve probably been gaslighted:
Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse?
When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world?
Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar?
Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. That’s because it plays into one of our worst fears—of being abandoned—and many of our deepest needs: to be understood, appreciated, and loved. In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works and tells you how to:
Turn up your Gaslight Radar, so you know when a relationship is headed for trouble
Determine whether you are enabling a gaslighter
Recognize the Three Stages of Gaslighting: Disbelief, Defense, and Depression
Refuse to be gaslighted by using the Five Rules for Turning Off the Gas
Develop your own “Gaslight Barometer” so you can decide which relationships can be saved—and which you have to walk away from
Learn how to Gasproof Your Life so that you’ll never again choose another gaslighting relationship
GOOD HUSBAND, GREAT MARRIAGE is a hard-hitting, no-nonsense guidebook for men and women to help them fix their marriages. Robert Alter's central, controversial argument: the man is primarily responsible for the marital problems. Alter says to women: "You are right to want what you want from him." He says to men: "Stop thinking it's your wife's fault, and transform yourself into the good husband you know you have in you. " In 50 chapters, Alter describes the problem areas men face and what actions they can take to fix them. The chapters include: "How to Know When You're Being a Man as Opposed to When You're Being an Asshole," "How to Talk to Her," and "Your Anger: Cut the Shit." Alter's approach is straightforward and logical; he speaks to men in a language they understand. In addition, sections of the book will be geared for women where Alter will give advice to women on what they can do.
If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck’s timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life.
Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart.
The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck’s take on the unforgiving frontier of American suburbia.
Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit
Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew—and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it. When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back.
The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage. Laura Doyle’s model for matrimony shows women how they can both express their needs and have them met while also respecting their husband’s choices. When they do, they revitalize intimacy.
Compassionate and practical, The Surrendered Wife is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:
· Give up unnecessary control and responsibility
· Resist the temptation to criticize, belittle, or dismiss their husbands
· Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage—from sexual to financial
· And more.
The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union.
Nearly forty and single, Lori Gottlieb faced the unthinkable: she'd wasted her best years chasing an elusive Prince Charming who might not even exist. Meanwhile, her friends who'd "settled" for Mr. Good Enough ended up married to excellent husbands and fathers.
This is an eye-opening, funny, painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of modern relationships and a wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.
Restaurateur, magazine publisher, celebrity chef, and nationally known lifestyle maven, B. Smith is struggling at 66 with a tag she never expected to add to that string: Alzheimer's patient. She’s not alone. Every 67 seconds someone newly develops it, and millions of lives are affected by its aftershocks.
B. and her husband, Dan, working with Vanity Fair contributing editor Michael Shnayerson, unstintingly share their unfolding story. Crafted in short chapters that interweave their narrative with practical and helpful advice, readers learn about dealing with Alzheimer's day-to-day challenges: the family realities and tensions, ways of coping, coming research that may tip the scale, as well as lessons learned along the way.
At its heart, Before I Forget is a love story: illuminating a love of family, life, and hope.
From the Hardcover edition.
In this insightful book, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love and shares the results of his famous “Love Lab”: Where does love come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? And how can we keep it alive? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken.
Harley fans have already been introduced to the Love Bank, emotional needs, Love Busters, and fair negotiation. So how do these key concepts work together to strengthen marriages? Fall in Love, Stay in Love has the answer--a complete, step-by-step overview that will leave fans saying "aha!" and new readers ready for more from this respected author.
In his new book, Harley promises that if couples are willing to form habits that create love and control instincts that destroy it, they can have the love-filled marriages they've always wanted. Then he sits down with readers to guide them through his tried and proven plan.
With profound insights, probing questions, and practical action steps, the man who has helped save scores of marriages leads readers down the road to a love that lasts a lifetime.
The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love.
I Need Your Love—Is That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.
“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.
This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron Katie
From the Hardcover edition.
New to this edition is a chapter on using acceptance skills, developed from the revolutionary new acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). These new approaches will help you to accept your partner's feelings (and your own emotions) without judgment. Using these techniques will help you decide what you really value in your relationship and then commit to acting in ways that further those values every day.
Authors Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker (with Mike Yorkey) believe that every man can meet the secret desires of his wife. The problem is, most of us aren't exactly sure what that desire is and how we can go about fulfilling it faithfully.
In Every Man's Marriage, you can discover the common misconceptions about what it means to exercise biblical authority, and understand the role of submission in the marriage relationship. This groundbreaking book can help men grasp and apply essential but often overlooked principles for marital leadership.
Through candid reflections on their own struggles to achieve biblical unity in their own marriages, along with many years of combined experience in marital counseling, Arterburn and Stoeker apply solid, time-tested biblical wisdom to the everyday potential distortions that can lead to strife in a marriage.
The second book in the Every Man series, this is the perfect follow-up to the best-selling Every Man's Battle. Every Man's Marriage is a terrific resource for establishing mutual respect and sacrifice in your marriage based on Christ's example of loving His bride, the church.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
The One Year Devotions for Couples will help you give and receive love in a whole new way. Through the proven principles in this devotional, you will find fresh strength and new inspiration to meet your spouse’s relational needs. David and Teresa Ferguson, cofounders of Intimate Life Ministries, are seasoned counselors who can guide you toward better relational health. You can—and you will—improve your marriage and grow spiritually as a couple.
Whether your marriage is shaky or solid, this devotional will give you health, hope, and healing for your relationship. Discover true spiritual and marital intimacy through the practical and biblical principles found in this popular couples’ devotional.
Discovering that your husband has been unfaithful can be emotionally devastating, leaving you reeling in pain and confusion. But take heart—this survival guide for women offers compassionate and practical solutions for coping with the aftermath of an affair. Drawing on their years of experience as professional therapists, authors Marcella Bakur Weiner and Armand DiMele explain how to heal the marriage bond and restore trust between partners. Written with empathy and understanding, this book addresses such vital topics as:
·Coming to terms with the sense of loss and betrayal
·Coping with feelings of suspicion and the specter of "the other woman"
·Dealing with the children during and after the affair
·Understanding character traits of men who have affairs—and how different women's personalities interact with them
·Finding the best sources of emotional support
Also included are helpful exercises for self-healing and redeveloping mutual trust as a couple. Repairing Your Marriage After His Affair will guide you through the turmoil of infidelity and aid you in mending and strengthening your marriage vows.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
This is more than a book—it’s an experience, especially when you use the his/her workbooks filled with more than 40 fun exercises. Get ready for deeper intimacy with the best friend you’ll ever have.
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, in more than 15 languages, is the most widely used marriage prep tool in the world.Uncover the misbeliefs of marriageLearn to communicate with instant understandingDiscover the secret to resolving conflictMaster the skills of money managementGet your sex life off to a great start
A compelling video, featuring real-life couples, is available, and with this updated edition Les and Leslie unveil the game-changing SYMBIS Assessment. Now you can discover how to leverage your personalities for a love that last a lifetime.
Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage—before (and after) it starts.
The good news is that the ability to trust is both a choice and a skill that you can develop. You do not have to be controlled by the past. To a child, trust is a feeling that comes and goes, always under the influence of other people. Only as an adult can you learn how and when to trust more wisely. This book is a warm and friendly guide to achieving greater self-confidence and deeper levels of intimacy and trust.
Helped along by the book’s exercises and ideas for self-reflection, you’ll begin to develop new patterns of trust. Start by getting comfortable trusting your own instincts. Then, experiment with developing relationships based on mutual trust and curiosity. Learn from and then let go of old betrayals that have impaired your trust-building skills, and approach the rest of your life with a renewed sense of purpose and belonging.
Despite the divorce statistics, people are still committing to each other, instinctively believing and hoping that theirs is a sacred union that will last forever. Yet when these couples encounter problems, they often lack the resources that keep them connected to this greater mystery surrounding marriage.
Rob and Kristen Bell introduce a startling new way of looking at marriage, The Zimzum of Love. Zimzum is a Hebrew term where God, in order to have a relationship with the world, contracts, creating space for the creation to exist. In marriage, zimzum is the dynamic energy field between two partners, in which each person contracts to allow the other to flourish. Mastering this field, this give and take of energy, is the secret to what makes marriage flourish.
Rob and Kristen Bell are brutally honest about their own struggles, their ups and downs, as together they pass along what matters most for couples. In this wise book, they explore the secret of what makes a happy union—probing the mystery at the heart of the extraordinary emotional connection that binds two people. With his down-to-earth charm, a dose of whimsy, and memorable stories, Rob, writing with his wife Kristen, changes how we consider marriage, providing insight that can help all of us create satisfying and sacred unions of our own.
Overwhelmed by the countless questions and details your wedding entails? Don't despair! The Knot Complete Guide to Weddings takes you step-by-step from your engagement to the big day, from the reception to the honeymoon. Inside you'll find checklists, worksheets, insider advice, and in-depth sections on:
How to personalize your wedding
Updated wedding etiquette
Creating a realistic budget
Sneaky cost-cutting tips
Dress shopping advice
Tips for working with florists, caterers, officiants, and others
Vows and ceremony details
Unique Wedding customs
ALL NEW SECTIONS ON: Planning Online and Destination Weddings, and a color-coded section with over 100 vibrant photographs
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Relationships are hard work, but how hard should they be? When do you know you are struggling too hard to make a relationship succeed?
Deal Breakers is about getting out of this “relationship purgatory”—where the present is unfulfilling and the future is the only thing you can hope for. But there is no magic future. If he won’t work on problems today, it’s unlikely they’ll ever be resolved. And passively hoping for change will only cost you years of depression or expensive therapy.
Dr. Bethany Marshall is here to remind women that relationships—like business relationships—are deals. In the business world, a deal breaker is the one nonnegotiable term that, if not agreed to, means the deal is off. But in the world of relationships, identifying your deal breaker can be much more promising, as it holds out the possibility of helping you to understand where the relationship has gone wrong, what needs to be done in order to make it better, and when to walk away because you’re doing more work than him to fix it.
A deal breaker is a boundary that smart people set for themselves because they know that falling in love can make them do stupid things. Through case studies, deal breaker scenarios, and suggested courses of action, Deal Breakers expertly guides frustrated women. By defining your deal breaker, you hold all the power to create the happiness you deserve.