A strange and charming collection of hilariously absurd poetry, writing, and illustration from one of today's most popular young comedians...
"Like Walt Whitman, Bo Burnham has made the transition from an internet comedy sensation to a soulful poet. No, not that Walt Whitman. A different guy." - Conan O' Brien
Bo Burnham was a precocious teenager living in his parents' attic when he started posting material on YouTube. 100 million people viewed those videos, turning Bo into an online sensation with a huge and dedicated following. Bo taped his first of two Comedy Central specials four days after his 18th birthday, making him the youngest to do so in the channel's history. Now Bo is a rising star in the comedy world, revered for his utterly original and intelligent voice. And, he can SIIIIIIIIING!
In EGGHEAD, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy to the page in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Teaming up with his longtime friend, artist, and illustrator Chance Bone, Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird book that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"
A handy list of the 94 two-letter words sure to pile on the points Over 800 three-letter words -- 550 of which can be formed from two-letter words All eight-letter words that can be formed from seven-letter words Every word up to seven letters you can play!
To increase your word-building power and achieve the highest score, keep The Scrabble® Word-Building Book at your fingertips -- and beat your opponent every time!
A former Wall Street Journal reporter and NPR regular, Stefan Fatsis recounts his remarkable rise through the ranks of elite Scrabble players while exploring the game’s strange, potent hold over them—and him.
At least thirty million American homes have a Scrabble set—but the game’s most talented competitors inhabit a sphere far removed from the masses of “living room players.” Theirs is a surprisingly diverse subculture whose stars include a vitamin-popping standup comic; a former bank teller whose intestinal troubles earned him the nickname “G.I. Joel”; a burly, unemployed African American from Baltimore’s inner city; the three-time national champion who plays according to Zen principles; and the author himself, who over the course of the book is transformed from a curious reporter to a confirmed Scrabble nut.
Fatsis begins by haunting the gritty corner of a Greenwich Village park where pickup Scrabble games can be found whenever weather permits. His curiosity soon morphs into compulsion, as he sets about memorizing thousands of obscure words and fills his evenings with solo Scrabble played on his living room floor. Before long he finds himself at tournaments, socializing—and competing—with Scrabble’s elite.
But this book is about more than hardcore Scrabblers, for the game yields insights into realms as disparate as linguistics, psychology, and mathematics. Word Freak extends its reach even farther, pondering the light Scrabble throws on such notions as brilliance, memory, competition, failure, and hope. It is a geography of obsession that celebrates the uncanny powers locked in all of us, “a can’t-put-it-down narrative that dances between memoir and reportage” (Los Angeles Times).
“Funny, thoughtful, character-rich, unchallengeably winning writing.” —The Atlantic Monthly
This edition includes a new afterword by the author.
The Rain in Portugal—a title that admits he’s not much of a rhymer—sheds Collins’s ironic light on such subjects as travel and art, cats and dogs, loneliness and love, beauty and death. His tones range from the whimsical—“the dogs of Minneapolis . . . / have no idea they’re in Minneapolis”—to the elegiac in a reaction to the death of Seamus Heaney. A student of the everyday, Collins here contemplates a weather vane, a still life painting, the calendar, and a child lost at a beach. His imaginative fabrications have Shakespeare flying comfortably in first class and Keith Richards supporting the globe on his head. By turns entertaining, engaging, and enlightening, The Rain in Portugal amounts to another chorus of poems from one of the most respected and familiar voices in the world of American poetry.
Praise for The Rain in Portugal
“Nothing in Billy Collins’s twelfth book . . . is exactly what readers might expect, and that’s the charm of this collection.”—The Washington Post
“This new collection shows [Collins] at his finest. . . . Certain to please his large readership and a good place for readers new to Collins to begin.”—Library Journal
“Disarmingly playful and wistfully candid.”—Booklist
The beloved bestselling author of Forever Fifty and Suddenly Sixty now tackles the ins and outs of becoming a septuagenarian with her usual wry good humor.
Fans of Judith Viorst's funny, touching, and wise poems about turning thirty, forty, fifty, and sixty will love this new volume for the woman who deeply believes she is too young to be seventy, "too young in my heart and my soul, if not in my thighs."
Viorst explores, among the many other issues of this stage of life, the state of our sex lives and teeth, how we can stay married though thermostatically incompatible, and the joys of grandparenthood and shopping. Readers will nod with rueful recognition when she asks, "Am I required to think of myself as a basically shallow woman because I feel better when my hair looks good?," when she presses a few helpful suggestions on her kids because "they may be middle aged, but they're still my children," and when she graciously -- but not too graciously -- selects her husband's next mate in a poem deliciously subtitled "If I Should Die Before I Wake, Here's the Wife You Next Should Take." Though Viorst acknowledges she is definitely not a good sport about the fact that she is mortal, her poems are full of the pleasures of life right now, helping us come to terms with the passage of time, encouraging us to keep trying to fix the world, and inviting us to consider "drinking wine, making love, laughing hard, caring hard, and learning a new trick or two as part of our job description at seventy."
I'm Too Young to Be Seventy is a joy to read and makes a heartwarming gift for anyone who has reached or is soon to reach that -- it's not so bad after all -- seventh decade.
The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism.
Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).
From the Trade Paperback edition.
What do you do when you spot a wild Trump in the election season? New York Times bestselling author and comedian Michael Ian Black has some sage advice for children (and all the rest of us who are scratching our heads in disbelief) in this perfectly timely parody picture book intended for adults that would be hysterical if it wasn’t so true.
The beasty is called an American Trump.
Its skin is bright orange, its figure is plump.
Its fur so complex you might get enveloped.
Its hands though are, sadly, underdeveloped.
The Trump is a curious creature, very often spotted in the wild, but confounding to our youngest citizens. A business mogul, reality TV host, and now…political candidate? Kids (and let’s be honest many adults) might have difficulty discerning just what this thing that’s been dominating news coverage this election cycle is. Could he actually be real? Are those…words coming out of his mouth? Why are his hands so tiny? And perhaps most importantly, what on earth do you do when you encounter an American Trump?
With his signature wit and a classic picture book style, comedian Michael Ian Black introduces those unfamiliar with the Americus Trumpus to his distinguishing features and his mystifying campaign for world domination…sorry…President of the United States.
Talking about weed? It never gets old. There's just a whole lot to be said. And in this book, you'll find more than a thousand hilarious, half-baked quotes about marijuana and its (medicinal, calming, overall awesome) influence on movies, people, politics, and pop culture from well-known stoners like Tommy Chong to closet inhalers like Jennifer Aniston.
Within these papers (er, pages), you'll be treated to tasty nuggets of wisdom from Jay Leno ("Forty million Americans smoke marijuana and the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsburg, Clarence Thomas, and Bill Clinton.") to Bob Marley ("When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.") and every pothead in between. As you roll through these words of wisdom, picking up new knowledge to drop on your friends, you'll wish you thought of these killer buds first.
So gather around the bong, grab some snacks to share, and burn through this collection of essential pothead wisdom.
Packed with curious words and fascinating facts, this is a real treasure trove and the perfect gift for word lovers and BANANAGRAMS® players of all ages the world over, and includes:
Proper nouns that you CAN play – in any word game!
Five ways to turn tiles that save VITAL seconds.
Easy-to-make three-letter words: your secret weapon.
How to IMPROVE your game with U.K. & U.S. spellings.
The one thing you MUST do in your first move.
19 games you can play with BANANAGRAMS® tiles.
Two ESSENTIAL ways to buy time when you call "PEEL!"
Hundreds of weird words that win word games.
Clever ways to lose those Q's.
The insider techniques of 'Rapid Peeling'.
And DOZENS of other top tips to boost your BANANAGRAMS® playing power!
Foreword by Dame Judi Dench.
Over 8 million copies of the game sold.
Beginning his career on a lark as a freelance contributor to SCRABBLE News, John D. Williams fell down a rabbit hole inhabited by gamers, geeks, and the grammar police. For twenty-five years, as the executive director of the National SCRABBLE Association, Williams served as the official spokesperson for the game, and as the middleman between legions of fanatical word-game fans and the official brand. Now Word Nerd takes readers inside the byzantine, dog-eat-dog world of top tournament players, creating a piquant (seven-letter word, 68 points!) work that is part pop-cultural history, part anthropological study. Indeed, what Christopher Guest did for the world of dog shows in his film Best in Show, Williams does for the world of competitive word games in this funny and perfectly observed memoir.
As readers will discover, Word Nerd explores anagrams, palindromes, the highest-scoring SCRABBLE plays of all time, the birth of the World SCRABBLE Championship, as well as many of the more colorful figures that inhabit this subculture. Die-hard word fans will find invaluable tips on how top players see their boards and racks to come up with the best play, how they prepare, and the psychology of tournament competition. Those uninitiated in the mysteries of SCRABBLE mania will find a delightful, madcap memoir about all the fun people have with language and how words shape our lives and culture in unexpected ways.
Whether reminiscing about past national champions, detailing the controversy over efforts to purge the Official SCRABBLE Players Dictionary of all offensive words, opining on the number of vowelless words that are allowable (cmw for a Welsh deep-walled basin or nth for the ultimate degree), noting how long it takes a word to get into a dictionary, or explaining why there remain more male than female champions, Williams crafts a loving tribute to words and the games people play with them. Word Nerd will fascinate both amateurs and seasoned experts alike.
With the mordant wit and clever wordplay of Edward Gorey or Shel Silverstein, Stephin Merritt has written an original four-line rhyming poem for each of the 101 two-letter words included in The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary. Here are poems about familiar words (such as at, go, hi, no, and up) as well as obscure ones (such as aa, ka, oe, qi, xu). And every one of the 101 poems is accompanied by a full-color illustration by the incomparable cartoonist Roz Chast.
101 Two-Letter Words is perfect for any language lover or Scrabble player (it may even improve your score!).
Dogfight is a narrative poem interrupted regularly by other poems and occasionally by what the author calls a pause for prose (“Callista Gingrich, Aware That Her Husband Has Cheated On and Then Left Two Wives Who Had Serious Illnesses, Tries Desperately to Make Light of a Bad Cough”). With the same barbed wit he displayed in the bestsellers Deciding the Next Decider, Obliviously On He Sails, and A Heckuva Job, America’s deadline poet trains his sights on the Tea Party (“These folks were quick to vocally condemn/All handouts but the ones that went to them”) and the slapstick field of contenders for the Republican nomination (“Though first-tier candidates were mostly out,/Republicans were asking, “What about/The second tier or what about the third?/Has nothing from those other tiers been heard?”). There is an ode to Michele Bachmann, sung to the tune of a Beatles classic (“Michele, our belle/Thinks that gays will all be sent to hell”) and passages on the exit of candidates like Herman Cain (“Although his patter in debates could tickle,/Cain’s pool of knowledge seemed less pool than trickle”) and Rick Santorum (“The race will miss the purity/That you alone endow./We’ll never find another man/Who’s holier than thou.”)
On its way to the November 6 finale, Trillin’s narrative takes us through such highlights as the January caucuses in frigid Iowa (“To listen to long speeches is your duty,/And getting there could freeze off your patootie”), the Republican convention (“It seemed like Clint, his chair, and their vignette/Had wandered in from some adjoining set”), and Mitt Romney’s secretly recorded “47 percent” speech, which inspired the “I Got the Mitt Thinks I’m a Moocher, a Taker not a Maker, Blues.”
From the Hardcover edition.
For centuries, the Japanese haiku has been one of the world's most dazzling poetic forms. In just three short lines, it captures the sublime beauty of nature--the croak of the bullfrog, the buzzing of the dragonfly, the shriek of the cicada, the scream of the cormorant. Now, with Haikus for Jews, there is finally a collection that celebrates the many advantages of staying indoors.
Inspired by ancient Zen teachings and timeless Jewish noodging, this masterful work is filled with insights that will make you exclaim, "Ah!" or at least "Oy!" Whether you are Jewish or you simply enjoy a good kosher haiku, these chai-kus (so called because of their high chutzpah content) are certain to amuse. What's more, with each poem limited to seventeen syllables, Haikus for Jews is perfect for people in a hurry. Find out why God has made these The Chosen Haikus.
From the Hardcover edition.
Here is a yawp for old Walt
Whitman, who’s well worth his salt
Though sometimes he’ll slip
And just let her rip
And say: “Camerados! What is this blade of grass? Who am I?
Who are you?” And you have to say HALT.
Of course he deals in the vulgar. And the semi-salacious:
Chopin wrote a lovely etude
That, when performed in the nude
By a mademoiselle
Who plays fairly well
Can certainly uplift the mood.
Many are educational, including his 26-limerick abecedary for English majors. And also:
The Confederate general Bob E. Lee
Committed treason quite freely
And General Grant
Beat him up cause you can’t
Attack federal troops...I mean really.
He’s written limericks in honor of friends, members of the New York Philharmonic, his daughter’s teachers, a quintuple for Emily Dickinson, and one for his ophthalmologist.
My eye surgeon, good Dr. Khanna,
Looked through her eyepiece down on a
Who thought he was gettin’ a
Vision of the blessed Madonna.
Woven through the verses are terse reflections on daily life, work, faith, and the old man of St. Paul whose office was a toilet stall.
From lesbian pick-up lines:
Pronounce Annie Proulx's
name correctly—watch lady's
cargo pants fall off.
To icebreaker haiku for first dates:
It has been MANY
years, but I'm not done griping
about The L Word.
To, of course, the mechanics of lesbian sex:
It's like straight sex but
afterwards we ask ourselves,
"We just had sex, right?"
Lesbian sex is
like water polo—no one
really knows the rules.
This laugh-out-loud book is the perfect gift to amuse and educate your friends, loved ones, and lovers.
Bible Word Search Puzzle
by Karen Sue Adkins
One day, while Karen Sue Adkins was working a word search puzzle, the Holy Spirit spoke to her and stated she could do Bible word search puzzles and reach a lot of people in a fun way. She did some research and discovered that there were no Bible word search puzzles on the market. From that day on, she has not looked back. Her purpose is to help people get back to the Bible. When we get back to the Bible, things change. Over the years, she has increased her knowledge of the Bible by studying daily, verse by verse. She has completed studies of the Bible about “David,” “Matthew,” “The Revelation” and more. She has testified to having her questions answered, just by reading the Bible.Karen’s puzzles will make you want to study the Bible more, with a fun and intriguing twist. In today’s world, where there is no hope; Karen wants to give people hope. The Bible is Alive. Karen’s prayer is that these puzzles will increase your knowledge of God’s Word and draw you closer to Him.
Generations of readers have delighted in the work of the great American humorist Don Marquis. Marquis's satirical free-verse poems, which first appeared in his New York newspaper columns in 1916, revolve around the escapades of Archy, a philosophical cockroach who was a poet in a previous life, and Mehitabel, a streetwise alley cat who was once Cleopatra. Reincarnated as the lowest creatures on the social scale, they prowl the rowdy streets of New York City in between the world wars, and Archy records their experiences and observations on the boss's typewriter late at night. First published in 1927, Archy and Mehitabel has become a celebrated part of the twentieth-century American literary canon.
Is your knowledge of Aussie slang sadly lacking? Are you feeling like a bandicoot on a burnt ridge, and running around like a blue-arsed fly? If so, don't chuck a wobbly, simply take a squiz at John Blackman's Best of Aussie Slang and she'll be apples!
This latest literary triumph from John Blackman is the ultimate guide to the lingo of Down Under. Known to millions of Australians as the voice of Hey Hey It's Saturday and the alter ego of Dickie Knee, Blackman defines all the great slang and phrases that confront everyone, every day, all around Australia.
So take a Captain Cook at this little beauty, impress the world with your grasp of the Aussie vernacular and find a special place for this masterpiece in your home – preferably one that doesn't flush!
Only words can do that. Words are magic. Words are fun.
Join Gyles Brandreth - wit and word-meister, Just A Minute regular, One Show reporter, denizen of Countdown's Dictionary Corner, founder of the National Scrabble Championships, patron of The Queen's English Society, QI, Room 101, Have I Got News For You and Pointless survivor - on an uproarious and unexpected magic carpet ride around the awesome world of words and wordplay.
Puns, palindromes, pangrams, Malaprops, euphemisms, mnemonics, acronyms, anagrams, alphabeticals, Tweets, verbiage, verbarrhea - if you can name it, you should find it here, along with the longest, shortest, wittiest, wildest, oldest, latest, oddest, most interesting and most memorable words in the English language - the richest, most remarkable language ever known.
"No matter what the country or the language, parents all over the world--loving, frustrated, exhausted parents--know what Adam Mansbach means. Since 2011, his comically obscene picture book has sold more than 1.5 million copies in dozens of languages from Afrikaans to Japanese to Nynorsk. And later this year, his little book will venture into new territory with a Jamaican patois translation: 'Go de R–s to Sleep.'"
--The Washington Post/Style Blog
"This version of Adam Mansbach's profane, affectionate, and radically honest book will remind whole new audiences about the absurdities of parenting. Just don't read it to the kids."
--Advocate.com, The 20 Greatest New Father's Day Gifts
Praise for Go the Fuck to Sleep:
"A new Bible for weary parents."
--New York Times
"A parenting zeitgeist...A phenomenon that has stunned the publishing world and may just redefine the modern ‘parenting’ market."
"Nothing has driven home a certain truth about my generation, which is approaching the apex of its childbearing years, quite like this deranged book."
The best-selling Go the F*** to Sleep has been translated into over thirty languages worldwide. Now it is finally translated for Jamaican and other Caribbean parents of the world. Given how many West Indians live in the US and Canada, the market for this book should be broad, but focused mainly on areas with a large Caribbean community.
Go de Rass to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award–winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity.
With illustrations by Ricardo Cortés, Go de Rass to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children.
Aussies have enjoyed magnificent isolation for over two hundred years. We've never really bothered about keeping up with the rest of the globe. And as a result, we've got a language all our own.
But now Paul Hogan has gone and blown the best-kept secret in the universe. We're copping hordes of tourists on our doorstep every day. And our own billy lids are learning a different language that we can't understand.
It's time we all got back to basics.
And that's why we've published this literary masterpiece – which will be a great reference source for travellers and new settlers in our great land, too.
Suddenly Sixty is a funny and touching book that speaks directly to the sixty-ish woman, inviting her to laugh about, sigh over, and come to hopeful terms with the complex issues of this decade of life.
Among the poems in this charmingly illustrated collection are those exploring the joys—and strains—of children and grandchildren, and the intimacy of old friends who’ve ‘known each other so long/We knew each other back when we were virgins.” There are poems that tip their hat to mortality, wrestle with a husband’s retirement —“He’s coming with me when I shop at the supermarket/So I won't have to shop alone. I like alone.”— and acknowledge the fact that at this stage of life we’d “give up a night of wild rapture with Denzel Washington for a nice report on my next bone density test.” Offering plenty of laughs, a few tears, and cover-to-cover truths, these are poems for everyone who would “rather say never say die than enough is enough.” Every woman who has reached this decade will—rueful and smiling—find herself in the pages of this book.
About The Author
Jewel Kats, 32, is a Diva with a closet stuffed with fashion accessories. Despite chaos, Jewel manages to work her chic tail off. She's authored three children's books for Loving Healing Press. For six years, she penned a syndicated advice column for Scripps Howard News Service and TorStar Syndication Service. She's won $20,000 in scholarships from Global Television and women's publisher, Harlequin Enterprises. Jewel also interned at Entertainment Tonight Canada. So what's got her through all this? Why, red lipstick, of course
Learn more at www.JewelKats.com
From Marvelous Spirit Press www.MarvelousSpirit.com
Despite this, it became a smash-hit success. Don't Come the Raw Prawn! is the side-splitting, risque sequel of words and phrases so dear to the Australian heart.
Blackman, the multimedia personality best known as the voice of 'Hey Hey It's Saturday' (and the brains behind the rascally Dickie Knee) is now more than ever convinced of the world's insatiable desire to learn more about the lingo of the Land Down Under – so ...
Stop alecking around and don't be a bunny ... this latest book is a lot more useful than a glass door on a dunny. You'd have to be one sandwich short of a picnic or have death adders in your pocket not to pull out the Oscar and take a geek at a book that's as funny as a hatful.
Don't be a grape on the business, or a half-back flanker; when it comes to Aussie phrases, this book's fuller than a seaside dunny on Boxing Day. Starve the lizards, it's London to a brick that you'll be cracking yourself when you find out what getting off at Redfern means.
Books like this are as rare as rocking horse poop and it's no good arguing the toss about that.
Stone the crows, have a fair suck of the sav!