Now, you cannot do this too obviously. If you stare at a person‘s body, you are going to be labeled a leech! But, there are those subtle signs that people give out all the time, and it only takes you a split second to read them.
For instance, you could just look at the way a person moves their eyes when listening to you, or the way they hold their lips when talking. You could look at the stance of their arms and legs and the way they use their hands. These are all vital body language signs. It doesn‘t take you any time to read these signs, but they can tell you so much if you pay attention... and if you know what to look for.
This eBook is all about body language. It is an attempt to tell you of the various signs that people give out when they are reacting to you. By reading this eBook, you will be able to gain command over what‘s in people‘s minds.
If you think about it, there are so many ways in which this can prove immensely beneficial to you. Think of all the things you can do if you are able to delve into someone‘s mind. You will be able to understand what they are thinking and how they will react to you in the next minute! If you are soliciting someone with a business proposition, by being able to read what is in their mind, you could give them just the
thing they are looking for, even before their voice their apprehensions. You could put people at ease. If you are with your loved one, you could put their apprehensions to rest whenever they crop up.
Reading body language surreptitiously is a powerful tool of personal development itself. When you are able to keep everyone happy, people are going to consider you with greater regard. The confidence that that can instill in you is immense. It could help you become a better person, a person who can always be counted upon.
We are not saying that these methods of body language reading are infallible. There are exceptions, as always, and you will have to use your better judgment on some occasions.
Nevertheless, at the end of it all, these are signs that will work most of the time and in most of your interactions with people. This is the way people normally behave, and you will need to know how to weed out the exceptional reactions that might come your way.
As you'll soon find out, the first five or 10 minutes of your initial conversation with models are the most important. If you can do that in a way that gets the model to view you in a very specific way, the rest of the game becomes very easy.
Pay close attention. You will learn more about talking with models from this short conversation than most guys ever will learn in a lifetime...
Let me tell you a little story about a coffee company. A coffee company that almost missed their train of opportunity to grow and expand their business.
It all began about 40 years ago when three friends decided to start a coffee business. In this business they would cater to the American consumer and provide top notch gourmet roasted coffee beans.
Life was good! And their business was growing at a nice steady pace. Then one day they decided to hire a young Director of Operations and Marketing. This new guy brought, well, a new perspective to the three friends, and one day this new guy traveled to Milan. This was a trip that would change his young life forever!
While in Milan the young man was fascinated with the coffee shops that littered the streets and the culture that was centered around those coffee shops. Right then and there he knew this would be a huge success in America... So, what did he do?
He reported his findings to the three coffee shop owners. He explained the culture to the men, and how people bought their pre-brewed gourmet coffee in the shop... How they sat down to read the daily news and sip their cup of joe in the shop... And,well, how they just enjoyed the social and laid back atmosphere of the coffee shop. In fact, it was really a cafe setting.
What did the three owners think about this revolutionary idea? It won’t work. They believed that coffee was meant to be enjoyed in the peace and quiet of the home, and not at a local cafe.
Needless to say, those three men eventually sold their company to the young man, and that young man grew the revolutionary coffee cafe idea into over 17,000 stores in more than 55 countries. In fact, it’s a household name today.
What’s the company’s name? None other than Starbucks!
You see, Howard Schultz foresaw where the coffee industry was heading, and he saw to it that Starbucks would reap the benefits of this new trend.
The lesson? Businesses need to be aware of the different market trends and embrace them. This will promote growth which will ultimately promote new revenue streams.
Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s happening again. A new trend that is. And this is a trend which affects every business, and this means you, too!
What is this trend? It’s blogging. It’s social media. It’s customer relations in the 21st century. It’s being connected with your consumer, and engaging them.
You can be like the three old friends and sit down on the opportunity, and there’s nothing wrong with that. They grew a successful business providing their local market with freshly roasted gourmet coffee beans, but they lost out on an opportunity to take their business and brand to the next level.
Or you can be more like Schultz and follow the trends... You could go where the consumers are. And where are the consumer’s today? Online.
For instance, in the USA, the reported rate of severe psoriasis is somewhere between 2% and 3% of the population, whilst in Australia, the condition affects around 2% of the population as well.
Furthermore, it is suggested in some quarters that up to 20% of the population of the USA may have some form of psoriasis ranging from the very mild to severe, and that perhaps as many as 4.5 million people could be serious psoriasis sufferers.
On top of this, it is reported that there are 150,000 new cases of psoriasis reported every year in the USA alone, so if it is assumed that psoriasis is as prevalent in other countries as it is in the States, it clearly represents a significant problem on a global scale.
For psoriasis sufferers, there is something of a ‘good news, bad news’ paradox with which most of these people have undoubtedly already learned to live.
The good news is that, on the one hand, psoriasis is not a condition that is life threatening (although it has been suggested that the condition increases the risk of heart attack). Balanced against this however is the fact that psoriasis can bring a great deal of misery to both sufferers and their families, so it is not a condition that can be ignored.
Furthermore, because it can develop into something far more unpleasant and painful, psoriasis is a condition that sufferers have to treat.
As with any medical condition or complaint, there are many different ways of treating or dealing with psoriasis, some of which are dependent on pharmaceutical drugs whilst others are completely natural. And of course, it almost always follows that treating any medical condition naturally is the best way of doing things if such treatments are going to be appropriate and effective.
The purpose of this book is to examine what psoriasis is and what causes it in greater detail, before looking at the various different ways of treating the condition.
Armed with this information, you should be in a position to consider and decide whether using pharmaceutical drugs is a good idea for treating your own psoriasis condition or whether using 100% natural methods of treating your condition is a better idea.
Thanks for downloading.
My name's Jason Parker. I'm an internet marketer
and entrepreneur like yourself and I'm here to tell
you 3 Underground IM Secrets.
Secret #1 is fairly common powerful knowledge.
Secret #2 will likely be a surprise. Secret #3
might make you fall backwards out of your chair.
These are literally the 3 biggest IM secrets I
You can use each secret to ethically reach through
your prospects' computer screens and rip the money
out of their wallets. ...While they enjoy every
These 3 secrets are underground for one, because
that's a pretty cool name. Two, I believe you
won't find any of these teachings through a search
engine because they are so rare.
You can choose to keep them to yourself or sell
them or pass the report onto your list. The less
people know, the more powerful the secrets work to
suck cash like a vacuum cleaner.
Enjoy devouring this scarce info.
All the best,
Unfortunately, because men and women are biologically so different to each other, there are specific things we each do that can easily drive a partner away rather than keeping them close, as we'd intended. Of course you may be hurting. You might even be completely bewildered as to why your relationship has ended at all. But the reality is that good relationships break up all the time ... needlessly.
That's right – needlessly. If men and women had a little more awareness of how the opposite sex was thinking, then break ups need never happen. In fact, you could have turned your relationship with your ex into a life-long happy partnership where neither of you would ever consider looking further afield.
If you've recently broken up with the love of your life, don't feel that all is lost. There's still hope that you can win your ex back and it's actually easier than you think. Even if you've tried everything you can think of to let your ex know how much you want to be together, perhaps you have noticed, it's not working out the way you'd planned.
The problem is that we're not taught about how the opposite sex thinks, so it's mostly a mystery to most people. We're stuck trying out tactics that we think may work without ever considering what our partner would prefer instead.
￼How to Get Your Ex Back
This book will explain some very simple tactics that can give your ex a completely different view of the person you are and get him or her to fall in love with you all over again.
Are you ready to bring your ex back into your life again? Are you really ready for them to fall in love with you, deeper and stronger than the first time around?
Then let's get into the good stuff...
I am not a physician, nor do I claim to be a weight management expert, so please consult your physician before starting this or any diet or exercise routine. This is a
simple plan I have devised, in the course of my 7 year experience on the "Low Carb Diet" to help me out and is based on the induction phase of the Atkins diet, the strictest of his 4 phases. It was designed to help get you started, or back on track should you lose your way.
Please come back to this book each time you feel yourself slipping back into your old habits, and it will get you back on track. This is not a free book, and you are not allowed to reprint or resell this book without express written permission from Scot Standke at CarbTrack.com.
I make no claims of how much weight you can lose with this method, as each persons metabolism is different, but each time I personally follow its simple steps, I will lose around 25-30 lbs. during its 30 day span.
Here’s to your success, Scot Standke
That's because most millionaires look like regular individuals who don't flaunt their wealth. They own regular houses and automobiles. They might have a few luxuries but most average millionaires can't be spotted on a daily basis as they prefer it to be that way and don't show off their wealth.
You have to memorize the difference between an asset and a financial obligation. An asset is something that puts cash in your pocket without you having to execute much work for it.
This is not a quick-fix solution. You will need to be prepared to put in the time and effort if you want to succeed. This is a step-by-step process, which will help you to understand how the female mind works and allow you to communicate with your prospective date successfully. Your approach has to be adaptable depending on the girl’s personality. If she is outgoing and approachable, you can just go ahead and ask her out. However, if she is shy and reserved, you will need to be more thoughtful about your approach, or you may frighten her off completely. This EBook will introduce you to the secrets that will help you to improve your chances of success when you ask for a date.
Changes in behavior and society have made it much easier for individuals to strike up relationships. It is not unusual
these days for a relationship to start within a matter of hours or days from the first meeting. However, in some cases it may take a lot more communication and persuasion to get the girl to accept a date as an opportunity for getting to know each other better.
Still other people like polyamorous relationships, preferring multiple partners at the same time. And lastly, a few choose celibacy and channel their romantic energies elsewhere.
A few individuals are straight, other people gay, and some bisexual. There are no correct or incorrect answers here. You’ve the freedom to guide the course of your relationships however you like, with the caution that your partners willingly decide to share those things with you.
As a few of the ideas in this book conflict with mainstream social disciplining, you might come across parts you take issue with, and that's all right. Apart from demonstrating how to apply the rules we've talked about in this course to your relationships, I don't aspire to convince you to alter your particular values to meet my own. I do, all the same, wish to challenge you to question your suppositions
about relationships and make your own witting selections, even though your preferences might differ from mine.
Our lives are filled up with a myriad of common relationship forms: loved ones, acquaintances, friends, colleagues, intimate partners, opponents, and strangers. No matter your present situation, reality, affection, and might may help you better all of these.
In this book I'll mainly center on intimate relationships, but the concepts apply to all human associations.
wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.” ― Nora Roberts.
Get all the info you need here.
Ah, the dreaded "friend zone"... it's a situation where someone you're attracted to - and want to have a romantic and/or sexual relationship with - is only interested in you as a "friend."
You don't know how you got there, you don't know why you got there, but you're there... and you want out!
Almost every guy, and even many women, have been in a situation where they've wanted to be more than "just friends" with another person.
And yet, for some reason, nothing they've tried has worked. Moreover, they always have to tip- toe around the situation because they don't want to lose the friendship by making the wrong move.
It truly is a horrible place to be stuck in...to be around someone, to be so close to them in proximity, and even share so much of your lives with each other... and yet, what you really want from them is off limits.
Since you're reading this report, there is a very good chance that...
a. you have a current friend that you'd like to turn into your lover and/or girlfriend,
b. you used to date and/or sleep with someone who now wants to be "just friends,"
c. you have been in one of the above situations in the past, maybe more than once, and you'd like to learn how to avoid it from happening during your future interactions with others, or...
d. you've seen this happen to other people, where they end up in the "friend zone"...and you want to be pre-emptive about it, so you can be prepared if it ever happens to you.
Whatever your situation may be, this report will arm you with some powerful knowledge, as well as some cutting-edge seduction and persuasion strategies, which will easily help you to get out of the "friend zone" and/or ensure that you never end up being "just friends" with someone you are attracted to.
And, if you have ever wondered why or how it happens in the first place, this report will also help you to finally understand why so many guys seem to always end up in the "friend zone" by accident, even when you really don't want to. (That giant mystery will be solved in this report, once and for all.)
Just as I do in most of my reports, I will start this one out by sharing some of the "quick and easy" techniques with you. These will include tips you can put to use right away, and see results almost overnight.
Then, I will cover some of the more advanced stuff, including powerful persuasion techniques, which may require a bit more work on your part to execute. But they will be well worth your time and energy investment, because the results they produce will be quite amazing.
But, before we start getting into the techniques and strategies of how to turn a friend into a lover or girlfriend, there's something very important that we need to discuss first.
Please do not skip over the next section - or any of the sections in this report, for that matter. If you do, you will only be hurting your own chances of making this process work effectively.
I’m really excited about this report. And that’s because it seems everyone wants to know how to make $10,000 a month online so they can blow past the magical “six figures a year” milepost...
Just browse your favorite online marketing forum for a few minutes, and I’m guessing you’ll unearth dozens of similar requests. Plus if you could take a peek inside my inbox, you’ll see it’s one of the top questions I get from beginning marketers!
That’s why I decided to create this special report for you and everyone else who knows it’s possible to make $10,000 a month online, but haven’t yet broken through that barrier.
I’m not going to give you just one plan. No, instead –
I’m going to give you TEN proven ways to make $10,000 a month online!
I call it the “10T Formula”. “Ten ways to make ten thousand dollars every month!” Or you’ll simply call it “financial freedom”.
Here’s just a taste of some of the ways you can get on your path to $10,000 per month:
Teaming Up With Other Marketers!
Typing Your Way to $10,000!
Tapping Into the Backend... Automatically!
Taking Advantage of eBay!
Targeting Other Marketers
...Plus five other proven plans you can use to hit that magical five-figures-per-month milestone!
Let’s get to it...
Our ultimate intention here is to make people fall in love with you, and that too in such a way that they become a constructive force in your life. Love is something that can give you strength if you find it from the right person. Here, you are going to see a hitherto unspoken aspect of love... the fact that you can make anyone fall in love with you as soon as you want them to.
Of course, there are things to do. You have to put in efforts. Maybe you will have to make some adjustments within yourself too. But, if your current demeanor isn’t giving you the things you want, wouldn’t it be advisable to make those alterations? After all, at the end of the rope, you have a totally different ‘you’... a person whom people cannot wait to fall in love with.
• 98% of people feel good about themselves when their house is clean.
• 97% of people believe their families appreciate a clean home.
That said, housecleaning can be a very overwhelming job. This ebook is designed to help keep your home clean without all the stress.
The world is not bereft of good meditation techniques. Anyone simply has to browse the net and look for the ideal technique which would readily suits one‟s meditation needs. One of these techniques is transcendental meditation which is one of the most popular meditation techniques in use right now throughout the world. This technique can be readily practiced daily by those who want to get in touch with the universal transcendental consciousness.
The name of the technique is derived from the word “transcendent” which is derived from the latin word “transcendere” which means to climb across. Transcendent in our modern idiom would simply mean “that which goes beyond.” Thus, etymologically, transcendental meditation means that the technique is designed to enable the mind to climb across or to go beyond its limits, and attune itself to the transcendent consciousness.
The first chapter of this book deals with the description of transcendental meditation. Likewise, the succeeding chapters discuss the benefits and step-by-step procedures on how to go about with transcendental meditation. Additionally, in the fourth and last chapters, the usefulness of transcendental meditation on improving works and its effectiveness in enabling a person to conquer doubts and fear will be further discussed.
Now, while the truth is that nature itself has ordained us to be different, which means our behaviors are characteristic of the gender that we belong to, it is also a sordid fact that this can create a lot of problems. There are several instances in which men and women do not understand each other, due to which there are disagreements and arguments between the two, even leading to drastic steps such as breakups and divorce.
There are some pretty heavy and deplorable numbers about relationships that have not worked out, while it is true that if just a little more effort and understanding were used, these relationships could have worked amazingly well.
The intention of this eBook is to show what repairs could have been possible in relationships that soured down, and to reveal that with some more considerate effort, many of our relationships could be veered in the right direction.
Regrettably, drugs have become the most prominent coping mechanism that people use to deal with life’s problems. There are many reasons why people begin using drugs. They are looking for a way out – an escape – a way to forget life for just a little while.
Methamphetamine use has grown to alarming rates in the United States with over 25 percent of the population addicted to this drug. Twenty-three percent of high school seniors use marijuana on a regular basis. Forty-three percent of adults report having a problem with alcohol.
The statistics also reveal that drug use, including alcohol and cigarettes, is beginning earlier in life. Children are experimenting with drugs as young as 10 years old, and many middle schoolers have already had their first taste of alcohol by seventh grade.
What are even more disturbing are the health effects that drug use and abuse causes. Last year alone, there were over 20,000 alcohol-induced deaths not including car accidents, and deaths due to heroin overdoses have increased by two percent in just the course of one year.
Drug addiction doesn’t discriminate either. Many famous celebrities have struggled with addiction as has the common man. You can be a regular housewife or the head of a company and find yourself struggling with drug dependence.
What can you do? The answer is – a lot. If you find yourself with a problem, the time to take action is now. You could check yourself into a rehabilitation facility, but you can also try some self- help steps first.
This book is intended for both the person who is addicted and for those who have a loved one with addiction. We’ll look at the signs of a problem and address the various drugs that are most likely to cause
dependence. Then, with the help of experts, we’ll give you some strategies that you can try to get you back on the road to a drug-free life.
You can overcome your dependence on drugs. It won’t be easy, but you can do it. But you have to start now. Don’t be addicted anymore. Start your journey today!
For anyone who is in business either online or off, Facebook has the potential to make you pots of money without putting in too much effort and with zero investment. If you are in business and you don’t have a Facebook account, you could be missing out on hundreds, if not thousands, of potential customers. There are many online marketers who are using Facebook and have converted their businesses into huge success stories. These are the people who can make six figure incomes, in spite of working very few hours.
Although there have been many social networking communities that have come and gone over the years, Facebook has emerged as a unique and exceptional concept. The user friendly interface of Facebook and the tools provided make Facebook the No. 1 choice of social networking sites for marketers and business owners alike.
Even if you have tried and given up on the Facebook approach before, with this e- book you will get the information that could earn you thousands of dollars every month. None of what you will learn in this ebook is difficult or impossible to do –
Often, when individuals, whether in the news or other forms of public media, discuss "black mold" they are talking about a certain type of mold. This mold is scientifically categorized as Stachybotrys Chartarum. It will appear as a greenish black mold in color although it is only deemed "black" mold.
Black mold is also often referred to as "toxic mold". More often than not, black mold can be seen forming in areas around a home that has higher humidity levels(above 55%) indoors, or in places that have suffered water damage or are more prone to become water-soaked such as basements, kitchens, and bathrooms.
The damp conditions make a perfect breeding ground for the small spores to multiply. The way in which mold reproduces is through these microscopic spores that are created when the conditions are right. Most mold grows, or reproduces, in damp areas, as mentioned previously .
With ever increasing changes in the Earth's weather patterns, the more "wet" weather, the more chance of having a "black mold" infestation. Your home is more prone to a black mold invasion if you live in an area that is exposed to frequent flooding or extremely wet, and/or humid, conditions.
Black mold can grow on anything porous. Including wood, cement, paper, clothing of all types, behind wallpaper, ceiling tiles, and other common household building materials.
With that said, it is also very common to find black mold growing rampant on gypsum board, more well known as 'drywall', which is a major part of any home construction project.
It is important to note that mold spores are all around us all the time and that no home is immune to them. No matter how clean you keep it indoors. You must understand that when mold reproduces, it is damp. However, when this newly formed grouping of mold dries, it can become airborne, whether this be indoors or out. Due to this, there is always a great possibility that if there is any type of excess moisture build up within your home, mold could begin growing inside.
There are certain things that you need to know and need to implement in your life and without these things you will be deprived of all those happy moments of your life. According to a research ratio of divorce and separation has increased with time and there are endless reasons for this increased ratio.
In this EBook I will guide you towards making your marriage a healthier and happy relationship. You need to know that mending your marriage is very important to live a healthy and prosperous life because I have seen people who screw up their marriage but they not only screw their marriage instead when marriage is screwed then, everything in your life is screwed because it effects on almost every field of your life.
When your marriage runs smoothly then, you feel very relaxed and there is almost zero stress in your life. This less stress increases your productivity and allows you to concentrate more on your work instead of always thinking about your relationship.
I have gathered information from lots of sources and then tried to align everything up so that you can have a better understanding of everything.
If you are thinking about getting into relationship of marriage or you are already running a marriage or even if you have some troubles in your marriage then, you should keep reading this EBook and you will get answers of almost every question that comes in your mind.
It would be stupid of me to say that the PUA community offers nothing to men who want improve their "game". Their scientific approach is definitely appealing and enlightening, and you can get a lot of value from it. I tried it myself, and I did have success.
But I didn't have the kind of success that I wanted. I had women want me, but I didn't feel like I was being real, and it really bothered me. All of the canned material, field reports, creating an avatar, the whole thing felt weird. I didn't like the idea of having to invent an avatar, develop a specific look, or build a new personality just to meet women. What's wrong with mine?
Well, as I discovered, nothing is wrong with it. I just didn't know how to convey it in a way that was sexy.
I'm going to be talking about things in this book that may or may not put you outside of your comfort zone. Understand this: trying new things is not the same as compromising your personality. I don't have a problem with trying new things, and you shouldn't either. But there is a huge difference between trying something new and feeling
like you are losing your soul.
In this book you'll learn how to attract women without ever feeling like you are compromising your personality just to get laid. You'll learn how to show women your genuine personality without ever feeling like you're going to be rejected.
This is going to be fun.
Specifically, with Facebook there is a lot of information floating around the net about how essential it is for businesses to be on their website. Yet, many businesses have an innate fear of social networking as such because of their concerns with data security. This is the dilemma that most SMB or Small to Medium Businesses face, whether to be on Facebook or not.
This guide's purpose is to discuss in detail what exactly Facebook is and how using it can help any small business become bigger than imagined through social networking.
Some people say that it is reunion of outer winds with the inner body and some say that it is the way of getting inner peace. You will find one thing common in almost every yoga definition that they talk about inner peace and inner self in it. This is basic theme of yoga that you have to become familiar with your inner person.
The basic meaning of yoga is union and you can say that it unites your body, spirit and thoughts. There are so many techniques in this art of exercise and all of these techniques are considered very effective but you should start from basic because if you adopted some advanced technique from start then, it will become difficult for you and you will lose control over it.
All of these yoga exercises make you believe that you exist and you exist with lots of strength and courage. It allows you to gather all of that strength and courage and accomplish your goal in your life.
People who practice personal productivity also utilize yoga as a very effective technique to increase their focus. If you feel tiredness too often or you feel fatigue after a tiring day at office then, you must practice yoga and you will see a new change in yourself and your working ability will also be boosted.
Yoga originated from India and its surrounding regions but then, it spread throughout the world because it has a strong connection with spirituality and everyone wants to get closer to their inner self.
Getting to know you is difficult and especially in today’s artificial and superficial world, it is really difficult to live with yourself. You always have to go through family pressures and social pressures and you are forced to do things which you often do not like. Yoga allows you to ease all of those pressures and be very light internally.
The number one mistake we make is that even though we are overweight, the thing we always start doing is crunches and leg raises. This means that if you have excess fat covering your abs, you will only manage to add muscles underneath, but not lose the fat. So basically, instead of having a slimmer waistline to show off your abs, it will get bigger and your love handles will also get thicker.
Now let's get one thing straight: Even if you heard about spot reduction, there's no such thing. Only when you manage to shed that extra weight off, will you be able to reveal your abs.
I know you’re lonely so I’ve decided you need some help so you are going to hear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth from me about women.
How to talk to them.
How to date them.
And even how to eventually get one to marry you.
I’m sure your girl friends say that you are kind of cute but that you sure are so awkward around them. You blush and stutter around and act like you would rather be having a root canal than having to try to carry on a civilized conversation with them. As soon as they say, “hello”, you are looking longingly at the nearest exit.
And am I right about this? Almost dead certain!
Honestly! I don’t believe you have had a real “date” since you reluctantly asked Jody (or whatever her name was) to the senior prom. As I recall, the date ended early - way too early for a senior prom date.
That was several years ago.
You are well into your twenties now and it’s time you started actually asking women out on real “dates” and not just hanging out somewhere in a group. I’m here to explain a few important things about dating grown women to you before you go out there, fall on your face and embarrass both of us (yes, I’m on your side!). So pay attention, here.
When you decide to date women after I have taught you everything you need to know to get them to date you, I am NOT to be held responsible. I DON’T want you breaking their hearts and I certainly DON’T want them to break yours.
That’s true and, frankly, there are a couple of them that I think would make a great sister-in-law. Now understand that there’s no rush, only a “someday”. And if that “someday” is ever going to happen, though, I have got to get you out there dating.
Even if you never intend to use steroids you will learn about how the chemicals in our bodies act in positive or negative ways on muscle growth.
If you are an experienced bodybuilder who feels that you have reached your genetic potential, and wish to exceed it then you have likely thought about steroids. By reading this guide you are obviously sensible and mature enough to educate yourself on how performance enhancing drugs work on the body.
In magnetic therapy for spinal cord injury (SCI), multiple sclerosis (MS), and post polio syndrome 18th century, Franz Anton Mesmer utilized bar magnets and mesmerizing “animal magnetism” (i.e., mesmerization) to handle patients. Ascribable to the contention surrounding this practice, France’s King Louis the XVI organized an esteemed committee compiled of leading scientists, including Franklin, to investigate Mesmer. This examination destroyed Mesmer’s vocation.
Till comparatively recently, scientists thought that life was by and large a biochemical process. The thought that magnetic fields may importantly influence living systems appeared implausible. Views have shifted quickly, however, and a lot of scientists now think that at some level we're basically electromagnetic creatures.
This ultra paradigm shift has fundamental medical implications as modern medicine has centered on biochemical processes. If these procedures are influenced by
our electromagnetic nature, any healing approach that centers exclusively on them will in the end be limited.
There are so many mistakes which every one of us makes during attracting women. In this EBook, I will tell you some very basic tips and suggestions which you can implement in your dating relationships or even with your soul mates and you will certainly make your life lot easier and more effective and affectionate.
Relationships are made with pure true and without any impurity of lie or any false feeling. If you are sincere with someone then, you will always be able to make her believe that you care for her but if you are trying to play games and are just looking for some good time pass and not ant serious relationship then, the opposite person is also smart enough to know your intentions.
There are different approaches which you have to adopt for building a short term relationship and long term relationship and in this EBook; I will tell you both of those approaches in details.
I am 100 percent sure that after reading this EBook, you will be able to understand not only the importance of relationships but you will be able to build some really good relationships without ant problem.
First of all, you need to be sure about your approach and prepare your mind that who is that special one whom you want in your life and then converge all of your efforts to that one person. Everything lose will be demonstrated throughout the EBook and you need to follow it carefully. Enjoy reading and pay attention to the words.
A good copywriter is a great communicator. Very, very simple. And copy is like oxygen, it can breathe new life into any marketing campaign, take any business off life support ... anyone listening right now, if you’re finding yourself working harder and harder each day, only to get fewer and fewer qualified leads, learn to become a direct marketing copywriter.
If you can’t distinguish your marketing methods from your nearest competitors, learn to be a direct marketing copywriter.
If you’re trying to squeeze out the last ounce of profit from a dying business model, learn to become a direct marketing copywriter.
On and offline. On the web or off the web. You owe it to yourself as a direct marketer ... which means getting a direct order, it does not mean going to a store and picking up something to purchase, this is directly. I’m communicating with you and I’m giving you a way to purchase from me directly.
You owe it to yourself and your business to use copywriting as a secret weapon for the next campaign that you launch, and it will seriously make your response rates soar. Increase the pulling power of every ad that you have.
That may sound like a commercial, but it’s been indelibly etched in my mind. I didn’t read it from anywhere. It’s just there to know because I remind myself how important it is to write copy.
If I’m not communicating with my reader I don’t have a sale and I’m not giving them the opportunity to buy. I’m confusing them. That’s what it means to be a great copywriter and it can be easier than you think if you just record yourself, just like Eugene Schwartz one of the greatest copywriters of all time, he’s no longer with us but he is my idol. He’s my favorite copywriter of all time.
He took a tape recorder with him, he interviewed Martin Edelston I believe it was in New York at the time, he interviewed him and 30 minutes into that interview the idea of Boardroom Reports which is the largest consumer publication newsletter that goes in the mail, was born. From what Martin told Eugene that historic date.
So all you have to do is record yourself or have someone interview you like you’re doing me right now Louis, and take those words about the subject at hand or maybe call your best sales people and ask them "Why do you do so well? Tell me how you go about selling all those customers?"
Take those words, transcribe them, and you have about 80% of the research you need. You don’t have to be a great writer, but you do have to be a great communicator.
The tips, strategies, and "models" I share in this report are based on research, opinions, tests and overall experiences with Asian women and their culture.
These tips and strategies have worked for me, as well as for lots of other men who have field- tested the info for themselves.
I will lay out the tips techniques starting with the quickest and easiest first... stuff that you can start putting to use right away - as in today - to help you to instantly start doing better with Asian women.
After that, I will cover the next set of tips and techniques that may take you a bit longer to put into effect. And, so on.
That way, you can get started right away with the quick and easy stuff, and start seeing some results - while you're working on the other stuff.
Great, let's get started by talking about some things you can do right away...
“Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine
When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it.
In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives.
Readers Guide Inside
Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine.").
Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies."
Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so hes' now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat.
From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists").
Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.
Oprah's Bookclub 2016 Selection
"Riveting...a worthy investment...this book has real wisdom."
—New York Times Book Review
"A book with so much painful truth packed into its pages that every person who’s ever married or plans to marry should really give it a read."
"Provocative....I adore her honesty, her vulnerability, and her no-nonsense wisdom, and I know you will, too."
"This memoir isn’t really about Glennon rebuilding her relationship with her husband; it is about Glennon rebuilding her relationship with herself. Utterly refreshing and...badass."
The highly anticipated new memoir by bestselling author Glennon Doyle tells the story of her journey of self-discovery after the implosion of her marriage.
Just when Glennon Doyle Melton was beginning to feel she had it all figured out—three happy children, a doting spouse, and a writing career so successful that her first book catapulted to the top of the New York Times bestseller list—her husband revealed his infidelity and she was forced to realize that nothing was as it seemed. A recovering alcoholic and bulimic, Glennon found that rock bottom was a familiar place. In the midst of crisis, she knew to hold on to what she discovered in recovery: that her deepest pain has always held within it an invitation to a richer life.
Love Warrior is the story of one marriage, but it is also the story of the healing that is possible for any of us when we refuse to settle for good enough and begin to face pain and love head-on. This astonishing memoir reveals how our ideals of masculinity and femininity can make it impossible for a man and a woman to truly know one another—and it captures the beauty that unfolds when one couple commits to unlearning everything they’ve been taught so that they can finally, after thirteen years of marriage, commit to living true—true to themselves and to each other.
Love Warrior is a gorgeous and inspiring account of how we are born to be warriors: strong, powerful, and brave; able to confront the pain and claim the love that exists for us all. This chronicle of a beautiful, brutal journey speaks to anyone who yearns for deeper, truer relationships and a more abundant, authentic life.
Joan and Melissa Rivers had one of the most celebrated mother-daughter relationships of all time. If you think Joan said some outrageous things to her audiences as a comedian, you won’t believe what she said and did in private. Her love for her daughter knew no bounds—or boundaries, apparently. ("Melissa, I acknowledge that you have boundaries. I just choose to not respect them.") In The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief and Manipulation, Melissa shares stories (like when she was nine months old and her parents delivered her to Johnny Carson as a birthday gift), bon mots (“Missy, is there anything better than seeing a really good looking couple pushing a baby that looks like a Sasquatch who got caught in a house fire?”), and life lessons from growing up in the Rosenberg-Rivers household (“I can do tips and discounts and figure out the number of gay men in an audience to make it a good show. That’s all the math you’ll ever need.”). These were just the tip of the iceberg when it came to life in the family that Melissa describes as more Addams than Cleaver. And at the center of it all was a tiny blond force of nature.
In The Book of Joan, Melissa Rivers relates funny, poignant and irreverent observations, thoughts, and tales about the woman who raised her and is the reason she considers valium one of the four basic food groups.
A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from Aziz Ansari, the star of Master of None and one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices
At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?”
But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.
For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.
In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.
Hardworking Kansas City rapper Mac Lethal has a problem, and its name is Bennett. His wannabe gangsta cousin is seventeen, uses drugs and foul language, claims to be 13 percent black, and swears he speaks "da female language." (Strangely that last one sort of seems true.)
But as different as they are, when Bennett and his mom lose their home, Mac’s got their backs. They’re family after all. Sure, it takes patience to live with the eternally smoked-out Bennett and the pill-popped Aunt Lily, but he can handle it.
You know who can’t? Mac’s very pretty, very WASPy, very uptight girlfriend. So as his once-peaceful household gets completely crazy, Mac learns that wanna-be-Crips are thicker than water, that his little cousin—flawed, irreverent, and basically a Saturday morning cartoon gone horribly wrong—has become his mentor, and that he really has no idea what’s up with girls.
A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat
People I want to punch in the throat:
• anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer
• people who treat their pets like children
Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book.
Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat
“People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
“Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes
“Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves
“Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear
From the Trade Paperback edition.
In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t.
If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years?
When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere.
I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier.
Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection.
My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context.
But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation.
I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower.
The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization.
I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.
If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club.
I know why some animals eat their young.
In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions.
Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store.
As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood?
STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS!
I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me.
I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business.
I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.
No one writes about family quite like Drew Magary. The GQ correspondent and Deadspin columnist’s stories about trying to raise a family have attracted millions of readers online. And now he’s finally bringing that unique voice to a memoir. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children in contemporary America.
In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads (getting drunk while trick-or-treating, watching helplessly as a child defiantly pees in a hotel pool, engaging in role-play with a princess-crazed daughter), and how stepping back can sometimes make all the difference (talking a toddler down from the third story of a netted-in playhouse, allowing children to make little mistakes in the kitchen to keep them from making the bigger ones in life). It’s a celebration of all the surprises—joyful and otherwise—that come with being part of a real family.
In the wake of recent bestsellers that expose how every other culture raises their children better, Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt defense of American child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It’s the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, and flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.
If you’re looking to get married and you’re not, there’s most likely a very good reason: you. Hey, you’re certainly not a bad person! You just haven’t yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. That’s where this book comes in. Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article, Tracy McMillan’s Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet dishes out no-holds-barred practical wisdom for women hoping to head down the aisle. And this new edition features even more candid advice and sisterly insight. McMillan points out the behaviors that might be in your blind spot and shows you how to adjust them to get the relationship you deserve. Do any of these chapter headings sound familiar?
• You’re a Bitch: How defensiveness can hide behind a tough exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness.
• You’re a Liar: How to stop lying to men—and get honest with yourself—about the kind of relationship you really want.
• You’re Selfish: The big secret about marriage: It’s about giving something, not getting it.
A funny, insightful guide, Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet will change your life and the way you think about relationships, and it may very well lead you down the aisle.
“Very wise . . . Give this book to every single girlfriend [you] have.”—Marie Claire
“Equal parts BFF, boot-camp instructor, and relationship guru, Tracy McMillan will change the way you think about yourself and your relationships. This book is for every woman out there who wants to have a great marriage.”—Ricki Lake
In brilliant, brand-new, never-before-published pieces, Dave passes on home truths to his new grandson and to his daughter Sophie, who will be getting her learner’s permit in 2015 (“So you’re about to start driving! How exciting! I’m going to kill myself”). He explores the hometown of his youth, where the grown-ups were supposed to be uptight fifties conformists, but seemed to have a lot of un-Mad Men-like fun, unlike Dave’s own Baby Boomer generation, which was supposed to be wild and crazy, but somehow turned into neurotic hover-parents. He dives into everything from the inanity of cable news and the benefits of Google Glass (“You will look like a douchebag”) to the loneliness of high school nerds (“You will never hear a high school girl say about a boy, in a dreamy voice, ‘He’s so sarcastic!’”), from the perils of home repair to firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just plain crazy craziness of Vladimir Putin’s Russia (“He stares at the camera with the expression of a man who relaxes by strangling small furry animals”), and a lot more besides.
By the end, if you do not feel wiser, richer in knowledge, more attuned to the universe . . . we wouldn’t be at all surprised. But you’ll have had a lot to laugh about!
From the Hardcover edition.
So you’re going to be a parent.
You might be asking yourself a series of important questions:
Will I be a good parent? • Will I be able to afford this? • Can I ever have sex again?
Well, the answer to all these questions is a rock-solid no. But just because your existence is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn’t mean your kid has to be as lame as you’re about to become. That’s why I’ve written this book—to teach you how to be an awesomommy or legendaddy.
The Bro Code for Parents will help you:
Choose a baby name that won’t get your kid stuffed into a junior high locker •
Interview and hire a smokin’ hot nanny • Teach your child instant classics like “The Boobs on the Bus” and “Bro, Bro, Bro Your Boat”
With full-color illustrations, interactive work sheets, and even suggestions for how to turn a stroller into a broller, The Bro Code for Parents gives you all the tools you’ll need to raise your child to be almost as awesome as I am. Almost.
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20+ years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
The short answer: become the best version of yourself possible, then show it off. It sounds simple, but it's not. If it were, Tinder would just be the stuff you use to start a fire. Becoming your best self requires honesty, self-awareness, hard work and a little help.
Through their website and podcasts, Max and Miller have already helped over one million guys take their first steps toward Ms. Right. They have collected all of their findings in Mate, an evidence-driven, seriously funny playbook that will teach you to become a more sexually attractive and romantically successful man, the right way:
- No "seduction techniques"
- No moralizing
- No bullshit
Just honest, straightforward talk about the most ethical, effective way to pursue the win-win relationships you want with the women who are best for you.
Much of what they've discovered will surprise you, some of it will not, but all of it is important and often misunderstood. So listen up, and stop being stupid!
There is nothing more wonderful than a mother’s love. There is also nothing more annoying. Who else can proudly insist that you’re perfect while simultaneously making you question every career, fashion, and relationship decision you have ever made?
No one understands the delicate mother-daughter dynamic better than Kate Siegel—her own mother drove her so crazy that she decided to broadcast their hilarious conversations on Instagram. Soon, hundreds of thousands of people were following their daily text exchanges, eager to see what outrageous thing Kate’s mom would do next. Now, in Mother, Can You NOT?, Kate pays tribute to the woman who invented the concept of drone parenting.
From embarrassing moments (like crashing Kate's gynecological exams) to outrageous stories (like the time she made Kate steal a cat from the pound) to hilarious celebrations (including but not limited to parties for Kate's menstrual cycles), Mother, Can you NOT? lovingly lampoons the lengths to which our mothers will go to better our lives (even if it feels like they’re ruining them in the process).
comedy = tragedy + time/rosé
Twenty-seven-year-old Nora McInerny Purmort bounced from boyfriend to dopey “boyfriend” until she met Aaron—a charismatic art director and comic-book nerd who once made Nora laugh so hard she pulled a muscle. When Aaron was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer, they refused to let it limit their love. They got engaged on Aaron’s hospital bed and had a baby boy while he was on chemo. In the period that followed, Nora and Aaron packed fifty years of marriage into the three they got, spending their time on what really matters: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, each other, and Beyoncé. A few months later, Aaron died in Nora’s arms. The obituary they wrote during Aaron’s hospice care revealing his true identity as Spider-Man touched the nation. With It’s Okay to Laugh, Nora puts a young, fresh twist on the subjects of mortality and resilience. What does it actually mean to live your “one wild and precious life” to the fullest? How can a joyful marriage contain more sickness than health? How do you keep going when life kicks you in the junk? In this deeply felt and deeply funny memoir, Nora gives her readers a true gift—permission to struggle, permission to laugh, permission to tell the truth and know that everything will be okay. It’s Okay to Laugh is a love letter to life, in all its messy glory; it reads like a conversation with a close friend, and leaves a trail of glitter in its wake.
This book is for people who have been through some shit.
This is for people who aren’t sure if they’re saying or doing the right thing (you’re not, but nobody is). This is for people who had their life turned upside down and just learned to live that way. For people who have laughed at a funeral or cried in a grocery store. This is for everyone who wondered what exactly they’re supposed to be doing with their one wild and precious life. I don’t actually have the answer, but if you find out, will you text me?
A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds
Not the queen of the world
An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher
The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush
A born salesman
Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20
That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time
Totally an expert on strep throat
Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend
A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes
"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four
Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket
"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert
Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon
A terrible liar