Reads to Make You LOL
YOU'LL GROW OUT OF IT hilariously, and candidly, explores the journey of the twenty-first century woman.
As both a tomboy and a late bloomer, comedian Jessi Klein grew up feeling more like an outsider than a participant in the rites of modern femininity.
In YOU'LL GROW OUT OF IT, Klein offers-through an incisive collection of real-life stories-a relentlessly funny yet poignant take on a variety of topics she has experienced along her strange journey to womanhood and beyond. These include her "transformation from Pippi Longstocking-esque tomboy to are-you-a-lesbian-or-what tom man," attempting to find watchable porn, and identifying the difference between being called "ma'am" and "miss" ("Miss sounds like you weigh ninety-nine pounds").
Raw, relatable, and consistently hilarious, YOU'LL GROW OUT OF IT is a one-of-a-kind book by a singular and irresistible comic voice.
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?"
Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more.
PRAISE FOR SERIOUSLY...I'M KIDDING
"DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." - People
"Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly
"Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus
RHINESTONES ON MY FLIP FLOPS offers the message Jane lives by: prove people wrong and laugh while living your dreams.
Has your life ever flipped? The challenge is to not become a flop! Strap on your sandals and let RHINESTONES ON MY FLIP-FLOPS deliver joy and laughter in the midst of everyday mess-ups.
Professional Southern humorist and award-winning author Jane Jenkins Herlong uses humor, wisdom, and life stories from iconic biblical women to guide you through the inevitable blunders of life.
Learn from the flip-flops of Deceived Eve, Domestic Diva Martha and Whiny Naomi. Laugh and be inspired by honest (ouch) stories delivered with Jane's sparkling sense of humor. Add in some "rhinestoned" advice from modern Women of Wisdom (WOW). And you will learn how to keep the sparkle and shine on your God-given talents even as you experience life's inevitable flops!
A strange and charming collection of hilariously absurd poetry, writing, and illustration from one of today's most popular young comedians...
"Like Walt Whitman, Bo Burnham has made the transition from an internet comedy sensation to a soulful poet. No, not that Walt Whitman. A different guy." - Conan O' Brien
Bo Burnham was a precocious teenager living in his parents' attic when he started posting material on YouTube. 100 million people viewed those videos, turning Bo into an online sensation with a huge and dedicated following. Bo taped his first of two Comedy Central specials four days after his 18th birthday, making him the youngest to do so in the channel's history. Now Bo is a rising star in the comedy world, revered for his utterly original and intelligent voice. And, he can SIIIIIIIIING!
In EGGHEAD, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy to the page in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Teaming up with his longtime friend, artist, and illustrator Chance Bone, Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird book that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"
Negin Farsad is an Iranian-American-Muslim female stand-up comedian who believes she can change the world through jokes. And yes, sometimes that includes fart jokes. In this candid and uproarious book, Farsad shares her personal experiences growing up as the "other" in an American culture that has no time for nuance. In fact, she longed to be black and/or Mexican at various points of her youth, you know, like normal kids. Right? RIGHT?
Writing bluntly and hilariously about the elements of race we are often too politically correct to discuss, Farsad takes a long hard look at the iconography that still shapes our concepts of "black," "white," and "Muslim" today-and what it means when white culture defines the culture. Farsad asks the important questions like, What does it mean to have a hyphenated identity? How can we actually combat racism, stereotyping, and exclusion? Do Iranians get bunions at a higher rate than other ethnic groups? (She's asking for a friend.)
HOW TO MAKE WHITE PEOPLE LAUGH tackles these questions with wit, humor, and incisive intellect. And along the way, you might just learn a thing or two about tetherball, Duck Dynasty, and wine slushies.
Leah Martin has spent her life trying to avoid temptation. But she's sick of low-fat snacks, counting calories, and her hyper-critical mom. Fortunately, her popular new bakery keeps her good and distracted. But there aren't enough éclairs in the world to distract Leah from the hotness that is Sam Cooper - or the fact that he just told her mother that they're engaged . . . which is a big, fat lie.
Sam sometime speaks before he thinks. So what started out as defending Leah's date-ability to her judgmental mother soon turned into having a fiancee! Now the plan is to keep up the fake engagement, stay "just friends," and make Leah's family loathe him enough to just call the whole thing off . But Sam has an insatiable sweet tooth, not only for Leah's decadent desserts but her decadent curves. Her full lips. Her bright green eyes. Yep, things aren't going quite according to plan. Now Sam has to convince Leah that he's for real . . . before their little lie turns into one big, sweet disaster.
You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty.
Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
Cheech Marin came of age at an interesting time in America and became a self-made counterculture legend with his other half, Tommy Chong. This insightful memoir delves into how Cheech dodged the draft, formed one of the most successful comedy duos of all time, became the face of the recreational drug movement with the film Up in Smoke, forged a successful solo career with roles in The Lion King and, more recently, Jane the Virgin, and became the owner of the most renowned collection of Chicano art in the world.
Written in Cheech's uniquely hilarious voice, this memoir will take you to new highs.
A Tale of #LeftSwipes, #NotMyTypes, and #Vodka
Rae Wallace would rather drown in a vat of pinot greezh and be eaten by her own beagle than make another trip down the aisle--even if it is her best friend's wedding. She's too busy molding the minds of first graders and polishing that ol' novel in the drawer to waste time on any man.
But when her best friends stage an intervention, Rae is forced to give in. After all, they've hatched a plan to help her find love the 21st century way: online. She's skeptical of this electronic chlamydia catcher, but she's out to prove she hasn't been too picky with men.
However, when a familiar fella's profile pops up--the dangerously hot substitute teacher from work--Rae swipes herself right into a new problem...
Sarcastic, irreverent, and uproariously funny--the painfully-true, so-insightful-it-hurts kind of funny--Ricki Schultz's wry debut will speak to fans of Bridesmaids or Trainwreck, and to anyone who's ever been on a bad date.
"This book gave me my absolute favorite feeling: laughing out loud alone in a room, chased immediately by the swoons. Nick is my new book boyfriend. But even better? Rae is my new best friend. MR. RIGHT SWIPE is exactly the book I needed."
--CHRISTINA LAUREN, New York Times bestselling author of the BEAUTIFUL BASTARD series
"Highly recommended." - RT Book Reviews (FOUR STARS)
Most Americans know Judah Friedlander from his role as Frank Rossitano on 30 Rock and from appearances in films like American Splendor and The Wrestler. But long before he became a film and TV star and stand-up comic Friedlander drew stuff.
Now, in this quirky, hilarious, and surprisingly profound collection of drawings, Friedlander shows a new side to his "terrifically entertaining" (New York Times) comedy. Whether imagining George Washington in Las Vegas, plastic surgery for imperfect triangles, and the Keystone Pipeline as a sex act, Friedlander's "Joodles" push boundaries as they explore the absurdities of American life, sex, and even history and human rights. If the Raindrops United is a milestone in the career of one of America's most inventive comedians.
Praise for If the Raindrops United:
"Judah has drawn a weird and funny book in the grand '70s tradition of B. Kliban! I think this book will probably fix the world."
"Some people meditate. Some people masturbate. But if you don't have the time or patience for either of those, I recommend reading If the Raindrops United to calm down, have a little laugh, or a big think."
"I've known Judah for many years and I still don't understand how his mind works, but it sure works. Seriously strange. Seriously funny. A National Treasure. Sadly, I need to get a restraining order against him."
"Judah thank you for writing a funny twisted book. It is such an easy read. Even dum dums like me can enjoy it!!! Buy this book."
"Judah's drawings are deceptively simple, yet they become more compelling with every page. His talent as an actor/writer/comedian is further conveyed in ANOTHER medium. He's a Quadruple Threat. He wears many hats. Literally."
"Reading Judah Friedlander's new book is a lot like hanging out with Judah himself: occasionally baffling, frequently thought-provoking, but, most of all, consistently hilarious!"
"To compare Judah Friedlander to a great cartoonist like Jim Davis would be a compliment to Jim Davis."
"Another hit from The World Champ tackling the signs and symbols you frequently question while dropping hot lava in your American Standard VorMax."
For single millennials, this situation is all too familiar: You're on a date. It's going well! Then suddenly your date looks at you like you're a f*cking idiot and you never hear from that person again. Guess you're going to die alone, right? Maybe not! Humble authors Ben Schwartz and Laura Moses have written a book to save the future of the human race: Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You F*cking Idiot, a collection of 100 dating tips--complete with illustrations--that teaches clueless guys and girls the dos and don'ts of dating. In their book, Ben and Laura cover all the basics, from "Why are you texting in just Emojis, dummy?!" to "Stop playing games, idiot!" and, of course, "PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN, A**HOLE!" Simply put, this book will make you laugh and finally give you a fighting chance at not dying alone.
In this outrageously funny and oddly wise guide to relationships, forty-five-year-old bachelor Will Forte shares his bulletproof advice for attracting-and retaining-a romantic partner of the fairer sex. Told in the form of 101 hand-drawn rules of thumb, the book takes on all the questions men are dying to know the answers to but are too afraid to ask: What activities are acceptable and not acceptable to do with a romantic interest's father? What animals, if any, should never be incorporated into foreplay? Should I claim to have collaborated with a famous poet? Combining wisdom, both practical and not, with idiosyncratic drawings so simple that even a romantically frustrated man-child could understand them, 101 Things to Definitely Not Do If You Want to Get a Chick gracefully answers these questions and ninety-eight others.
'Hilariously funny and often moving memoir ... we loved every word *****'
'Open, honest ... her misadventures are hilariously described ... charming and funny'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Hello dear book browser and welcome to Peggy & Me, the story of my life since getting a beautiful Shih-Tzu Bichon Frise cross puppy (I call the breed a Shitty Frise - fun) in the form of Peggy.
Some of you may be thinking: "a book about a dog, how totally brilliant, I need hear no more, I'm sold." In which case we should be best friends and go out to tea together, every day.
Others of you may be thinking: "a book about a dog, how totally mad, she must have officially lost it." In which case I completely understand. For I once viewed dog owners with much suspicion. The way they obsessively talk about their dogs often using voices for them to reply; the way they have a light covering of dog hair all over their clothes and sofas; and worse, an alarming comfort and ease around excrement.
But I now get why people become so mad about their hounds. It wasn't instant love I have to admit. Getting a puppy when I was at a low ebb in my life wasn't easy - there was a lot of challenging, what I call, dog administration (dog-min), and the humiliating first trip to the vet still haunts me. It's been a bumpy old road, but Peggy has been lovingly by my side through some life-changing moments and I wouldn't have coped without her. Most surprisingly she has taught me a huge amount - not how to get an old pie packet out of a bin and lick it (I could already do that), but real lessons about life and love and trust and friendship.
Put aside any doggy reservations and come walkies with Peggy and me ...
AS SEEN ON STRICTLY COME DANCING 2017
'DEEPLY HONEST, SURPRISINGLY HILARIOUS AND UPLIFTING' The Pool 'HEART-WARMING: UNMISSABLE' Damian Barr, Metro
Susan Calman is a well-known comedian and writer who has appeared on countless radio and television programmes from The News Quiz and Just a Minute on BBC Radio 4, presented Armchair Detectives and Secret Scotland, hosts the podcast Mrs Brightside and stole the nation's hearts in STRICTLY COME DANCING 2017. Her solo stand up show, Susan Calman is Convicted, was broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and dealt with subjects like the death penalty, appearance and depression.
It was the overwhelming and positive reaction to the show she wrote about mental health that made Susan want to write a more detailed account of surviving depression when you're the world's most negative and anxious person.
The Crab of Hate is the personification of Calman's depression and her version of the notorious Black Dog. A constant companion all her life, the Crab has provided her with the best, and very worst of times. This is a very personal and affecting memoir of how, after many years and with a lot of help and talking, Susan has embraced her dark side and realised that she can be the most joyous sad person you'll ever meet.
CHEER UP LOVE IS FUNNY, POIGNANT AND (HOPEFULLY) INFORMATIVE.
IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO TALK AND TO REALISE YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
*Susan Calman's new book, Sunny Side Up, publishes September 2018*
In 1982, 20-year-old Nina Stibbe moved to London to work as a nanny to two opinionated and lively young boys. In frequent letters home to her sister, Nina described her trials and triumphs: there's a cat nobody likes, suppertime visits from a famous local playwright, a mysteriously unpaid milk bill, and repeated misadventures parking the family car. Dinner table discussions cover the gamut, from the greats of English literature, to swearing in German, to sexually transmitted diseases. There's no end to what Nina can learn from these boys (rude words) and their broad-minded mother (the who's who of literary London).
A charming, hilarious, sweetly inspiring celebration of bad food and good company, Love, Nina makes a young woman's adventures in a new world come alive.
When I was twenty-five years old, it came to my attention that I had never had a girlfriend. At the time, I was actually under the impression that I was in a relationship, so this bit of news came as something of a shock.
Why was Josh still single? To find out, he tracked down each of the girls he had tried to date since middle school and asked them straight up: What went wrong?
The results of Josh's semiscientific investigation are in your hands. From a disastrous Putt-Putt date involving a backward prosthetic foot, to his introduction to CFD (Close Fast Dancing), and a misguided "grand gesture" at a Miss America pageant, this story is about looking for love--or at least a girlfriend--in all the wrong places.
Poignant, relatable, and laugh-out-loud funny, this memoir is for anyone who has ever wondered, "Is there something wrong with me?"
(Spoiler Alert: the answer is no.)
An unconventional, irreverent, yet heartfelt memoir by Ryan Higa, one of the top creators on YouTube. With pictures! And illustrations! And, y'know, words.
I know you're used to seeing me on the Internet, but here I am, coming at you in book form. You might be asking yourself, A Book? You? Why?
Great question! Why did I write a book?
Listen, I'm as surprised about it as you are. But I have a story to tell that I believe will help inspire people who are going through tough times to not only persevere through those tough times but to excel in them. And I couldn't be the only YouTuber without a book, could I?
So, welcome to Ryan Higa's How to Write Good, by me, Ryan Higa.
This is the story of how I went from being a relatively happy kid to being depressed and angry and filled with dark thoughts. This is the story of how I thought I had only one way out of this cruel world. This is the story of how I found a better way.
But wait, there's more! You're not only getting my story but you'll also learn how to write good--I mean well--from a college dropout who struggled in basic-level English classes and still became a legit, published Best Sailing Author. (That wasn't a typo. I plan to buy a boat one day...but probably not anytime soon. This book might not cell good.)
Because of the disaster that was her last job, Zoe is searching for a fresh start as a travel book editor in the tourist-centric New York City. After stumbling across a seemingly perfect position though, Zoe is blocked at every turn because of the one thing she can't take off her resume --- human.
Not to be put off by anything -- especially not her blood drinking boss or death goddess coworker -- Zoe delves deep into the monster world. But her job turns deadly when the careful balance between human and monsters starts to crumble -- with Zoe right in the middle.
It soon becomes apparent that our new owners, the Venturi brothers, have a very different perspective on all sorts of things. Take Good and Evil, for example. For them, it's an outdated concept that never worked particularly well in the first place.
Unfortunately, the sudden disappearance of right and wrong, while welcomed by some, raises certain concerns amongst those still attached to the previous team's management style.
In particular, there's one of the old gods who didn't move out with the others. A reclusive chap, he lives somewhere up north, and only a handful even believe in him.
But he's watching. And he really does need to know if you've been naughty or nice.
Bonnie's own path from bartending to truck driving, massage therapy, elder abuse, stand-up comedy, and acting never stopped her from being Doug's genuine number one fan. So when her alcoholic, hoarding life finally came to an end many weird adventures later in rural Arizona, it was inevitable that Doug and Bonnie would be together for one last excursion.
Digging Up Mother follows Doug's absurd, chaotic, and often obscene life as it intersects with that of his best friend, biggest fan, and love of his life-his mother. And it all starts with her death-one of the most memorable and amazing farewells you will ever read.
Humor, like pornography, is famously difficult to define. We know it when we see it, but is there a way to figure out what we really find funny--and why?
In this fascinating investigation into the science of humor and laughter, cognitive neuroscientist Scott Weems uncovers what's happening in our heads when we giggle, guffaw, or double over with laughter. While we typically think of humor in terms of jokes or comic timing, in Ha! Weems proposes a provocative new model. Humor arises from inner conflict in the brain, he argues, and is part of a larger desire to comprehend a complex world. Showing that the delight that comes with "getting" a punchline is closely related to the joy that accompanies the insight to solve a difficult problem, Weems explores why surprise is such an important element in humor, why computers are terrible at recognizing what's funny, and why it takes so long for a tragedy to become acceptable comedic fodder. From the role of insult jokes to the benefit of laughing for our immune system, Ha! reveals why humor is so idiosyncratic, and why how-to books alone will never help us become funnier people.
Packed with the latest research, illuminating anecdotes, and even a few jokes, Ha! lifts the curtain on this most human of qualities. From the origins of humor in our brains to its life on the standup comedy circuit, this book offers a delightful tour of why humor is so important to our daily lives.
Have you ever been pissed because you're not pretty enough, and then gotten even more pissed that someone didn't find you as pretty as you think you are? Have you ever obsessed over the size of your thighs while eating dessert, all the while saying you'll work out extra tomorrow? Or spent endless hours wondering why you have to bear the brunt of other people's insecurities? I mean, after all, I'm pretty great. Why cope with insecurities I don't already have?
That last one's just me? All right, then.
But if the rest sounds familiar, you are experiencing Girl Logic: a characteristically female way of thinking that appears contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world. You end up considering every repercussion of every choice (about dating, career, clothes, lunch) before making a move toward what you really want. And why do we attempt these mental hurdles? Well, that's what this book is all about.
The fact is, whether you're obsessing over his last text or the most important meeting of your career, your Girl Logic serves a purpose: It helps push you, question what you want, and clarify what will make you a happier, better person. Girl Logic can be every confident woman's secret weapon, and this book shows you how to wield it.
Between these covers are a staggering 3650 entries - at a joke a day that's 10 full years of comedy! With chapters on everything from Modern Romance, the Working World and Aging to Pop Culture, Money, and much more, 3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles contains the most ridiculous quip for every conceivable occasion. There are gibes, barbs, and insults, knock-knock jokes, and one-liners, doctor jokes and lawyer jokes, animal jokes and family jokes, and throughout a seemingly endless supply of bad puns.
3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles will have you chuckling, chortling, giggling, grinning, and groaning in spite of yourself.
With an introduction by Lewis Black.
Saucy, sassy, laugh-out-loud and not-for-kids, this giant, off-the-wall collection of jokes, quips, stories, and humor is slightly off-color and completely hilarious. Packed with 2,000 jokes and stories grouped thematically into such categories as Marriage, Medicine, Old Age, Kids, and (of course) Sex., THE FRIAR'S CLUB PRIVATE JOKE FILE includes classic material attributed to Richard Belzer, Gilbert Gottfried, Susie Essman, and Penn Jillette, with bonus interviews with stand-up comedians known for their naughtiness- including Mario Cantone, Judy Gold, Jeffrey Ross, Lisa Lampanelli, and many more.
Like a front-row seat at an infamous Friar's Club roasts, this no-holds-barred compilation will keep you laughing and blushing for a long, long time.
"Desperately funny . . . An ingenious comedy of errors." --Janet Maslin, The New York Times
"Satire at its best." --Newsweek
"Thrillingly transgressive." --The Guardian
A NEW YORK TIMES SUMMER READING PICK
In this record-breaking bestseller, Timur Vermes imagines what would happen if Adolf Hilter reawakened in present-day Germany: YouTube stardom.
Adolf Hitler wakes up on a patch of open ground, alive and well. It's the summer of 2011 and things have changed--no Eva Braun, no Nazi party, no war. Hitler barely recognizes his beloved Fatherland, filled with immigrants and run by a woman.
People certainly recognize him--as a flawless impersonator who refuses to break character. The unthinkable happens, and the ranting Hitler goes viral, becomes a YouTube star, gets his own TV show, and people begin to listen. But the Fuhrer has another program with even greater ambition in mind--to set the country he finds in shambles back to rights.
With daring humor, Look Who's Back is a perceptive study of the cult of personality and of how individuals rise to fame and power in spite of what they preach.