But there are times when we also see it in a beautiful way.
This balance will always be there.
I became a writer, by writing simple quotes on my phone.
Writing on and on and on.
I was meditating a lot ... what life is about ... and in fact ... what my life actually means.
After almost 3 years i started to look to all those thoughts ... which were simple ideas ... but were mine.
There were defining me.
And i became deeper and deeper.
I was exploring all my thoughts and feelings.
Today ... reading again all those things i wrote ... i just smile.
I see the journal of my thinking.
Thoughts.
... and feelings.
... thousands of them.
Many ... in total contradiction.
1000 versions of myself.
And it’s quite difficult to understand many of those versions i was.
But all of them ... is me.
I read one more time ... and i have moments when i start even to laugh.
So many thoughts and feelings.
Such a large spectrum that defines me in so, so many ways ... but still ... it’s just me.
I am only one.
The one i decide to be each day.
At the end ... i realize it all was an interesting exercise .... expressing all i thought or felt.
This journal ... is my view over life.
Many of the things i wrote ... i find totally ridiculous .... but i just smile ... and don’t judge any version of myself.
I would even dare to ask you ... to copy this exercise ... cause might help you a lot.
It will help you understand better who you are ... and maybe decide who you want to be tomorrow ... according to the dynamic of your thoughts and feelings.
3 years means ... a little bit more of 1000 days ... and indeed 1000 versions of myself
I’ve started to write my first book at 16 … but then … realizing i could not publish it … i’ve abandoned the idea of being a … writer.
20 years later … i’ve started to write again … believing i will finally succeed … but i’ve failed one more time … not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later … i’ve started one more time to write … but this time … more as a therapy.
It’s what i’ve defined as … self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas … that were a lot related to me … and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts … in essays … becoming this way … maybe not a writer …. but what many define as … an essayist.
This is not a poet … and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry … but is still expressing his thoughts … into a similar way … as a poet.
And is not a writer … cause have not the ability to write for too long time … about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist… either.
I am just an ordinary person … that could be better defined … as a thinker.
Analyzing … and defining my life … practicing this process called … self therapy … i started to understand life … and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i’ve wrote … and wrote … and wrote … realizing one day that i’ve published tens of books …. not really understanding how the hell I’ve succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing … as a therapy.
I could even say … it’s a simple way of understanding who we are … but also a process that could help us … heal our souls.
I personally continue to … write.
It’s in fact … a non ending story that … at least for myself … will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all … i am glad … i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey … not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist… but …
Well …. most probably… i am on a good path.
And … i would dare to recommend to everyone … all what i am doing today.