We like some of those roles… and maybe even adore it … but also dislike many of the things we have to do .. as actors on the stage of reality.
If i would analyse myself into an honest way … i would even dare to say that i played one million roles …. being an angel … but also many times … a devil.
Like all the others …. i’ve played so, so contradictory roles … that into the end … i would not even know how to define myself ….
So … was i a good person?!
Or was i … a bad person?!
Hmm …
The most ridiculous conclusion was that most probably i was a positive … but also a negative character on the stage of reality.
I was just dominated … by duality.
I had to accept it …. and also that there is no real definition for myself.
I was good … bad … neutral … and …
Every definition... could be true … or false … for myself.
And all i had to do was to accept that as part of the scenario called … my life.
I’ve started to write my first book at 16 … but then … realizing i could not publish it … i’ve abandoned the idea of being a … writer.
20 years later … i’ve started to write again … believing i will finally succeed … but i’ve failed one more time … not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later … i’ve started one more time to write … but this time … more as a therapy.
It’s what i’ve defined as … self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas … that were a lot related to me … and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts … in essays … becoming this way … maybe not a writer …. but what many define as … an essayist.
This is not a poet … and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry … but is still expressing his thoughts … into a similar way … as a poet.
And is not a writer … cause have not the ability to write for too long time … about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist… either.
I am just an ordinary person … that could be better defined … as a thinker.
Analyzing … and defining my life … practicing this process called … self therapy … i started to understand life … and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i’ve wrote … and wrote … and wrote … realizing one day that i’ve published tens of books …. not really understanding how the hell I’ve succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing … as a therapy.
I could even say … it’s a simple way of understanding who we are … but also a process that could help us … heal our souls.
I personally continue to … write.
It’s in fact … a non ending story that … at least for myself … will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all … i am glad … i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey … not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist… but …
Well …. most probably… i am on a good path.
And … i would dare to recommend to everyone … all what i am doing today.