The ones generated by our ideas, thoughts, feelings ... and in fact all is in our heart ... or mind.
I was not aware of the influences came from this side ... not even thinking for a second that soon ... all these energies will be metamorphosed into ... dominance.
And i continued my life like that for years.
... having no idea what the nonsense is.
Believing ... it's real ...
... and also that its appearance on the scene of life... it's normal.
... us not being able to do anything against that.
There were moments when i could actually see some of the ideas of why some things beyond reality influence so much the present moment .... but i was indeed ... blind.
I was suffering of ... spiritual blindness.
Time passed again ... and my life ... becoming kind of a nightmare ... i realised i need to change something.
But what?!
I had ... absolutely no idea.
Well ... until ... thinking deeper and deeper ... and accepting the influences came from my thoughts and emotions .... but also that people around myself were having their own thoughts and emotions ... sometimes in total contradiction with my own ....
All i had to do ... was to learn how i manage those energies ... so i finally accept that life is about the art of managing energies.
... understanding them.
... connecting and disconnecting from them ... but ...
There was always ... a but.
I was balancing between accepting and not accepting that ... even if i had to do it.
In fact ... it was ... a must.
I really had to learn this art of managing energies.
... my own energies.
... but also the ones generated by the ones from the scene of my life.
And i had only 2 options.
To continue allowing the nonsense to dominate my life ... or start to act like a magician ... that knows to metamorphose everything ... in whatever i would want.
... but with good intentions!
Well ... time passed again ... and my weird emotional dance ... kept dominating my being.
I was believing and ... not believing.
... allowing into this way ... as the nonsense to continue its role.
On ... and on ... and on.
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.