Staying O.K.: How to Maximize Good Feelings and Minimize Bad Ones

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A sequel to I'm OK—You're OK. This book offers advice on making important changes and taking charge of your life, resolving conflicts, and rooting out the causes of worry, panic, depression, regret, confusion and feelings of inadequacy.
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Additional Information

Publisher
Harper Collins
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Published on
Oct 18, 2011
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Pages
320
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ISBN
9780062124357
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Features
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Language
English
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Genres
Self-Help / General
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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A paradigm-shifting, instant classic in the making that challenges our assumptions about change by encouraging us to understand and embrace our resistance to it.

We all have something we want to change about ourselves. But whether it's quitting smoking, losing weight, or breaking some common bad habit or negative behavior pattern, we feel a sense of failure when we don’t succeed. This often sets off a cascade of negative feelings and discouragement, making it even harder to change. The voice in our head tells us: Why bother?

Successful change depends far more on understanding why we don’t change, psychotherapist and sociologist Ross Ellenhorn insists. His decades-long career as a pioneer in helping people overcome extreme psychiatric experiences and problematic substance use issues—especially those whom the behavioral healthcare system has failed—especially those whom the mental healthcare system has failed—has lead him to develop an effective, long-term method to achieve transformation, from the simplest shifts to the most profound. In How We Change, Ellenhorn looks to the evolutionary imperatives driving us. We are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the Fear of Hope—the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment. He identifies the “10 Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do, making it clear that there is nothing broken inside us—it’s how we’re built. By addressing this little known reality, he gives us hope and helps us work toward the change we seek. 

Ellenhorn speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears about ourselves, with a humor and kindness. By turning our judgements about self-destructive behaviors into curious questions about them, he teaches us to think about our actions to discover what we truly want—even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way. How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective—and help us achieve the transformation we truly seek.

A “stimulating and thought-provoking” guide to help you make productive and autonomous choices toward rewriting your life (Los Angeles Times).
 
We choose a “life script” at an early age. But you can change its course. Whether born into wealth or poverty, into nurturing families or damaged abusers, fostered by strict parents or careless and undisciplined ones, each individual still has a spiritual core that exists independent of the environment and is equally crucial to his or her destiny.
 
Countering the fundamental principle of psychiatry which asserts that emotional and mental distress comes from within, Claude Steiner believes that people are innately healthy but develop a pattern early in life based upon negative or positive influences of those around them. Those influences can rule every detail of our lives until our death. Thus children decide, however unconsciously, whether they will be happy or depressed, winners or failures, strong or dependent, caring or cruel, and having decided, they spend the rest of their lives making that decision come true. For those who choose to live by their negative script, the consequences can be disastrous unless they make a conscious decision to change.
 
In Scripts We Live, Steiner tackles the puzzle of human fate. He reveals what determines our life scripts, and how each person’s combination of spirit and circumstance contributes to the final path that life takes. And he offers hopeful advice and practical analysis so that we all can rewrite for ourselves more meaningful and fulfilling lives.
 THIS book outlines a unified system of individual and social psychiatry as it has been taught during the past five years at the Group Therapy Seminar of Mount Zion Hospital in San Francisco, at the Monterey Peninsula Clinical Conference in Psychiatry, at the San Francisco Social Psychiatry Seminars, and more recently at Atascadero State Hospital, and the Langley Porter Neuropsychiatric Institute. This approach is now being used by therapists and group workers in various institutional settings, as well as in private practice, to deal with almost every type of mental, emotional, and characterological disturbance. The growing interest in and wider dissemination of its principles have indicated a need for this book, since it has become increasingly difficult to fulfill all the requests for lectures, reprints, and correspondence. 
The writer has had the privilege of visiting mental hospitals in about thirty different countries in Europe, Asia, Africa, and the islands of the Atlantic and Pacific, and has taken the opportunity of testing the principles of structural analysis in various racial and cultural settings. Their precision and predictive value have stood up rather well under particularly rigorous conditions requiring the services of interpreters to reach people of very exotic mentalities. 

Since structural analysis is a more general theory than orthodox psychoanalysis, the reader will be fairer to himself and to the writer if he resists, initially at least, the understandable temptation to try to fit the former into the latter. It the process is reversed, as it should be, it will be found that psychoanalysis easily finds its place methodologically as a highly specialized aspect of structural analysis. For example transactional analysis, the social aspect of structural analysis, reveals several different types of “crossed transactions.” The multifarious phenomena of transference are almost all subsumed under just one of these types, here denoted “Crossed Transaction Type I.” Other examples of the relationship between psychoanalysis and structural analysis are given in the text. 

Introduction 

Chapter 1. General Considerations 

Part I. Psychiatry of the Individual and Structural Analysis 
Chapter 2. The Structure of Personality 
Chapter 3. Personality Function 
Chapter 4. Psychopathology 
Chapter 5. Pathogenesis 
Chapter 6. Symptomatology 
Chapter 7. Diagnosis 

Part II. Social Psychiatry and Transactional Analysis 
Chapter 8. Social Intercourse 
Chapter 9. Analysis of Transactions 
Chapter 10. Analysis of Games 
Chapter 11. Analysis of Scripts 
Chapter 12. Analysis of Relationships 

Part III. Psychotherapy 
Chapter 13. Therapy of Functional Psychoses 
Chapter 14. Therapy of Neuroses 
Chapter 15. Group Therapy 

Part IV. Frontiers of Transactional Analysis 
Chapter 16. Finer Structure of the Personality 
Chapter 17. Advanced Structural Analysis 
Chapter 18. Therapy of Marriages 
Chapter 19. Regression Analysis 
Chapter 20. Theoretical and Technical Considerations
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