8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness (8 Keys to Mental Health)

8 Keys to Mental Health

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W. W. Norton & Company
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Guidance for dealing with this common and frustrating form of behavior. Many people often say “yes” to something when they’d rather say “no.” They offer cooperation through words but follow up with how they really feel—in actions that contradict their words. That’s passive-aggression. At its heart, passive-aggression is about being untrue to oneself, which makes it impossible to have a clean relationship with others. Passive-aggression as a communication method doesn’t make someone “bad.” It is simply a strategy learned in childhood as a coping mechanism, a hard-to-break habit. Changing passive-aggressive behavior requires knowledge, tools, and practice, as outlined here.

The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness; Disable the Enabler; and Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes. Hands-on exercises are featured, enabling readers to better understand themselves.
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About the author

Andrea Brandt, PhD, has more than thirty years of experience working with individuals, couples, groups, and children. She is a sought-after television and radio show guest and lives in Santa Monica, California.

Babette Rothschild, MSW, has been a practitioner since 1976 and a teacher and trainer since 1992. She is a bestselling author of six books, all published by WW Norton and translated into more than a dozen languages. She is also the creator and Series Editor of the 8 Keys to Mental Health Series. After living and working for 9 years in Copenhagen, Denmark she returned to her native Los Angeles where she is writing her next books while she continues to lecture, train, consult, and supervise professional psychotherapists of all sorts worldwide.

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Additional Information

Publisher
W. W. Norton & Company
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Published on
Oct 21, 2013
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Pages
224
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ISBN
9780393708790
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Language
English
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Genres
Self-Help / Communication & Social Skills
Self-Help / Mood Disorders / General
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Available on Android devices
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With more than 100,000 copies in print, Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man draws on case histories from clinical psychologist Scott Wetzler’s practice to help you identify the destructive behavior, the root causes and motivations, and solutions.

Do you know one of these men?

The catch-me-if-you-can lover...

Phil’s romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next.

The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...

Jack denies resenting Nora’s rapid rise in the company, but when they’re assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her.

The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...

Bob keeps telling his wife he’ll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it.

These are all classic examples of the passive-aggressive man. This personality syndrome—in which hostility wears a mask of passivity—is currently the number one source of men’s problems in relationships and on the job. In Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, Scott Wetzler draws upon numerous case histories from his own practice to explain how and why the passive-aggressive man thinks, feels, and acts the way he does. Dr. Wetzler also offers advice on:

• How to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the “P-A”
• How to get his anger and fear into the open
• How to help the “P-A” become a better lover, husband, and father
• How to survive passive-aggressive game playing on the job

Living with a man’s passive aggression can be an emotional seesaw ride. But armed with this book, you can avoid the bumpy landings.
 

 

Is there a science to love?

In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.

Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.

In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

*ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.

*AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

*SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.
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