Fortuna and the Scapegrace

The Epic of Didier Rain

Book 2
Diving Boy Books
Free sample

Didier Rain has never been so destitute, forlorn, and in dire need of a bath. As he roams the rain-muddied streets of San Francisco, it appears the angels of good fortune have finally forsaken him. Hunted by factions that would seek to do him harm, and suffering an acute case of soul pain, the once dandy rogue sees little promise for sunnier days.

 

But then, miraculously, all the stars of the cosmos move into a seemingly favorable position as a seductive albino soothsayer launches Rain onto the next leg of his life’s stormy voyage. Will said voyage carry Rain to the soft bosom of comfort and contentment he so longs for? Is he the Chosen One, singled out by providence to lead God’s people in their new South Seas church? And is Rain truly the newfangled man he believes himself to be? Or, as he fears, are the gods just having a bit of fun with their favorite gullible scalawag?

 

At turns ribald, horrifying, and hilarious, Fortuna and the Scapegrace follows Delivering Virtue as book two in Didier Rain’s unfolding epic adventure of foibles, hope, and quest for love and redemption.

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About the author

Brian Kindall writes books – some for kids, some for grown-ups – brimming with the absurdity, beauty, and mystery of life. He crafts his stories to join the finest qualities of literature with large doses of adventure, peopling them with one-of-a-kind characters you won’t soon forget. He is a master at playing humor against pathos, and fairytales against reality, all for the sake of a good (and sometimes quirky) read. He loves mountain climbing and free-diving and his wife and three kids. He lives with them on the shores of a pristine mountain lake, somewhere in the middle of Idaho.

 

Brian is the author of The Epic of Didier Rain adult fiction novels DELIVERING VIRTUE and FORTUNA AND THE SCAPEGRACE, and middle grade fiction novels BLUE SKY and PEARL.

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Additional Information

Publisher
Diving Boy Books
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Published on
Jan 15, 2019
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Pages
354
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ISBN
9780999456972
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Action & Adventure
Fiction / Historical / General
Fiction / Humorous / Black Humor
Fiction / Satire
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Content Protection
This content is DRM free.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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Didier Rain is broke, lovesick, and just off a three-day whiskey binge. And yet, The Church of the Restructured Truth has been told in a vision that he’s the man to fulfill their Holy Prophecy. He must deliver Virtue – a blue-eyed infant – 1,000 miles along the western pioneer trail to their prophet’s stronghold as his child bride to be. Savages, zealots, and wildfire all stand in Rain’s way, not to mention a list of Thou-shalt-nots designed to thwart any man’s most basic comforts. But, there’s something holy about the job – something, Rain suspects, that might just turn his sorry life toward a better path.

In Delivering Virtue – Book One of The Epic of Didier Rain – Brian Kindall takes the classic novel of the West and turns it on its head. Grandiloquent humor, pathos, and a cast of absurd and depraved characters all come together in an American Frontier world inspired by myth and legend, creating a surreal and disarmingly poignant adventure reviewers are calling a triumph of American Magical Realism.

Foreword Clarion Reviews calls it "A splendid allegorical odyssey” and it was a finalist for their literary fiction Book of the Year. It is an Editor’s Choice at the Historical Novel Society, and Blue Ink Reviews says, “This provocative, wholly satisfying novel is a Western adventure told in the language of magic realism. It skillfully blends historical insights, moments of fantastical humor, stories of travel through exotic climes, and references to European poetry, Homeric mythology, and even Oedipal psychology.” 

And from Allie's Opinions: “The Odyssey” of the wild west with a swashbuckling dandy narrating a journey of prophecy and magical realism. Add a pile of depraved characters and stir. I couldn’t put it down. Definite 5 stars."

 


Freddy Funke's back in prison, but not for long. The feds want him to hunt down Lily, and Hollywood wants him to be a star. If they can bust him out, this one-time slacker-turned-criminal-mastermind will sign on the dotted line. Unfortunately for them, Freddy's tired of being told what to do. The new mayor has pledged to make Old Polly great again. Mr. Big Stuff is going to burn it to the ground.

~~~~~ Excerpt ~~~~~

The Man grabbed at Hierophant’s wrist and threw him into the grill of the Ford. Freddy shielded his face from the shards of the shattered windshield.

Hierophant pried himself out of the hood. He jumped up onto the cab and ripped the pump and console off the velcro. “It’s been fun swatting you around like a tee ball but I don’t think I can take much more. Weaving the plexus into this body was only a temporary patch, and I can feel the organs collapsing.” He pressed the central button on the black console. The engine shivered assent and next to Freddy the thick belt on the passenger side spun the pickup motor to life. The barrels rotated. Hierophant pressed another button and they rotated so fast the metal squealed like a pig trapped in a helium abattoir.

On the penthouse floor The Man lurched forward. The cannon squealed and shifted. “Before you take another step,” said Hierophant, “it’s only fair that you know what you’re up against. This, my invincible dearheart, is the General Electric GAU-8 Avenger. It fires a 30 millimeter round of depleted uranium, a four to one mix of PGU-14/B armor piercing incendiary and 13/B high explosive incendiary and it fires them at forty-two hundred per minute. I can only use it for a few seconds at a time though, as I’d ruin the barrels.” Hierophant manipulated the console to aim the cannon at The Man’s helmet. “I’m not sure if you’re familiar with pyrophoric artillery, Gordon, but the rod fractures on impact with a hard target to stay sharp. And then disintegrates into a very hot dust. You see, the Avenger is typically found on the United States Air Force’s Fairchild Republic A-10 Thunderbolt II. It kills tanks.” Hierophant leaned over his knee. “The Professor thought it was an expensive insurance plan. I didn’t.”

Hierophant’s face appeared in Freddy’s window. The blood from his lacerated lips ran down into his mashed nostrils. “There’s a pair of ear muffs under the wheel that I suggest you wear. Also, the recoil force is about five tons so I’m going to need you to step on the gas and keep the pedal down at fifty miles per hour, give or take.”

Freddy grabbed the ear muffs. “Yeah, okay.”

“What?”

“Yessir.”

The ear muffs hardly helped. No sooner had Freddy slid the cups over his ears than the hydraulics screamed and the Avenger sneezed the wall down. The flash was so bright Freddy screamed aloud. He kicked at the accelerator when the Ford crashed out the back of the elevator cage and tried to bust through the opposite wall. The window frame, mahogany desk, carpet, edge of the floor disintegrated, and it may as well have happened to the ghosts of those things as they went to dust in the rapidly swelling smoke, and made no sound that could exist in the same world and hour as the cannon. Then the first five seconds of it were over and the Ford flew over the balcony towards Old Polly and her silent sky.

He didn’t bother to scream this time, he just gripped the wheel tighter and slammed the accelerator down. The lights in the rain rose like shimmery stars in a galaxy friendly and vast. The tracks of car headlights and tail lights crisscrossed the backs of Old Polly’s rising towers, the wind singing in the rain, and he drove in free fall without a single car in his way.

Hierophant plummeted past him. He flipped on his turn signal and steered the other way.

Didier Rain is broke, lovesick, and just off a three-day whiskey binge. And yet, The Church of the Restructured Truth has been told in a vision that he’s the man to fulfill their Holy Prophecy. He must deliver Virtue – a blue-eyed infant – 1,000 miles along the western pioneer trail to their prophet’s stronghold as his child bride to be. Savages, zealots, and wildfire all stand in Rain’s way, not to mention a list of Thou-shalt-nots designed to thwart any man’s most basic comforts. But, there’s something holy about the job – something, Rain suspects, that might just turn his sorry life toward a better path.

In Delivering Virtue – Book One of The Epic of Didier Rain – Brian Kindall takes the classic novel of the West and turns it on its head. Grandiloquent humor, pathos, and a cast of absurd and depraved characters all come together in an American Frontier world inspired by myth and legend, creating a surreal and disarmingly poignant adventure reviewers are calling a triumph of American Magical Realism.

Foreword Clarion Reviews calls it "A splendid allegorical odyssey” and it was a finalist for their literary fiction Book of the Year. It is an Editor’s Choice at the Historical Novel Society, and Blue Ink Reviews says, “This provocative, wholly satisfying novel is a Western adventure told in the language of magic realism. It skillfully blends historical insights, moments of fantastical humor, stories of travel through exotic climes, and references to European poetry, Homeric mythology, and even Oedipal psychology.” 

And from Allie's Opinions: “The Odyssey” of the wild west with a swashbuckling dandy narrating a journey of prophecy and magical realism. Add a pile of depraved characters and stir. I couldn’t put it down. Definite 5 stars."

 


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