“I love you,” he said.
“I—” A choke made up the rest of the sentence, because I felt lost and empty and he was still there. He was my sky. And through blood and breath, sin and sorrow, I was his sea, and wherever the horizon was, and the world ended, we were there, together.
This is not a romance. This is not a pat little ending about me and Jonathan riding off into the sunset. I knew I was never destined for that, but no one warned me about the pain. No one told me about the hurt. No one told me what I’d risk for him.
I’ll do anything to make it right. Anything. You think I won’t kill for him? You’re wrong.
I have to earn my happily ever after, and we have to survive it.
Previously released as Sing Coda Dominance
Submission is not abdication. Submission is not resignation. It’s not weak or fragile. It doesn’t mean I break at the first sign of trouble.
Well, I broke for a few weeks. When I realized I was falling in love with Jonathan and that I’d never be the same if I allowed it to continue, I broke into a million sharp little pieces. I think I damaged him in the process.
But what could I do?
Stay with him and untangle the mess of his life? Commit to his rules, his secrets, his troubles?
No. Just, no.
If we’re doing this, we’re doing it. If I’m committing, it’s to a man, not a lie. I’ll strip away everything between us, even if it ends us.
Previously released as Control Burn Resist