Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

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“Sex at Dawn challenges conventional wisdom about sex in a big way. By examining the prehistoric origins of human sexual behavior the authors are able to expose the fallacies and weaknesses of standard theories proposed by most experts. This is a provocative, entertaining, and pioneering book. I learned a lot from it and recommend it highly.” — Andrew Weil, M.D.

 “Sex at Dawn irrefutably shows that what is obvious—that human beings, both male and female, are lustful—is true, and has always been so…. The more dubious its evidentiary basis and lack of connection with current reality, the more ardently the scientific inevitability of monogamy is maintained—even as it falls away around us.” — Stanton Peele, Ph.D.

A controversial, idea-driven book that challenges everything you (think you) know about sex, monogamy, marriage, and family. In the words of Steve Taylor (The Fall, Waking From Sleep), Sex at Dawn is “a wonderfully provocative and well-written book which completely re-evaluates human sexual behavior and gets to the root of many of our social and psychological ills.”

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About the author

Christopher Ryan, PhD, is a research psychologist. He lives in Barcelona, Spain.

Cacilda Jethá, MD, is a practicing psychiatrist. She lives in Barcelona, Spain.

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Reviews

3.6
1,017 total
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Additional Information

Publisher
Harper Collins
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Published on
Mar 27, 2012
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Pages
432
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ISBN
9780062207944
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Features
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Language
English
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Genres
Family & Relationships / Marriage & Long-Term Relationships
Psychology / Human Sexuality
Psychology / Social Psychology
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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Patricia Love, Ed.D.
Men are right. The “relationship talk” does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and
Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:

Love is not about better communication.
It's about connection.

You'll never get a closer relationship
with your man by talking to him like you
talk to one of your girlfriends.

Male emotions are like women's sexuality:
you can't be too direct too quickly.

There are four ways to connect with a man:touch, activity, sex, routines.

Men want closer marriages just as much as women do,but not if they has to act like a woman.

Talking makes women move closer;
it makes men move away.

The secret of the silent male is this:
his wife supplies the meaning in his life.

The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn’t help.

Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse?

Wife: “Honey, we need to talk about us.”
Husband: “Do we have to?”

Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.

The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require “trying to turn a man into a woman.” Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.
Michele Weiner Davis
It is estimated that one of every three married couples struggles with problems associated with mismatched sexual desire. Do you? If you want to stop fighting about sex and revitalize your intimate connection with your spouse, then you need this book. But The Sex-Starved Marriage is not just another book explaining the reasons you or your spouse might not be in the mood for sex. Bestselling author Michele Weiner Davis will help you understand why being complacent or bitter about ho-hum sex might cost you your marriage, and with her acclaimed psychobabble-free, straight-shooting advice, she'll show you how to bring the spark back into your bedroom and into your relationship.

Because relationship expert Weiner Davis is convinced that feeling sexy is a two-person job, she looks at the problem of -- and the solution to -- low sexual desire from a couple's perspective. Whether you're someone whose passion has faded or someone who's been hungering for touch, you'll learn life-altering lessons about bridging the desire gap and restoring intimacy and friendship to your marriage. And because Weiner Davis knows that one spouse is often more motivated than the other to work on a relationship, she offers creative ways to inspire your partner to change.

Separate chapters address the spouse who's hot, the one who's not, and then both together. If you're the spouse with a lagging libido, you're far from alone. And if you're a man, you'll be surprised to learn that staggering numbers of men, even men whose sexual machinery works just fine, "get headaches" too!

If you're the low-desire spouse, you'll learn about the physiological and psychological factors, including unresolved relationship issues, that may contribute to the chill in your bedroom. You'll learn the truth about sexual desire: that for millions of men or women it doesn't just happen; you have to make it happen. Finally, you'll find specific, pragmatic, and often provocative solutions to help you discover the siren or seducer within.

If you're the more highly sexed partner, you'll breathe a sigh of relief. At last someone understands your feelings about the void in your marriage. Discover why your pleas for touch have fallen upon deaf ears and why your approach to the lull in your sexual relationship could be a sexual turnoff. Most important, you'll find tools you can use to reach out in ways that will make your spouse more responsive. Finally, if your partner is willing, you will learn how to keep the flame of desire burning together.

Full of moving firsthand accounts from couples who have struggled with the erosion of sexual desire and rebuilt their passionate connection, The Sex-Starved Marriage will give you and your spouse the inspiration, encouragement, and answers you need to find your way out of a sex-starved marriage.
Christopher Ryan
Desde los tiempos de Darwin, nos han contando que nuestra especie tiende naturalmente a la monogamia sexual. Tanto la ortodoxia científica como las instituciones religiosas y culturales mantienen que hombres y mujeres hemos evolucionado en familias en las que los unos intercambiaban sus posesiones y su protección por la fertilidad y fidelidad de las otras. Pero este discurso se desmorona. Cada día se casan menos parejas, y los índices de divorcio aumentan sin cesar, mientras el adulterio y la disminución del deseo hacen naufragar incluso matrimonios en apariencia sólidos.

¿Cómo conciliar la realidad con el discurso imperante? Según los pensadores Christopher Ryan y Cacilda Jethá, es imposible. Y, en este libro provocativo y brillante, a la vez querebaten casi todo lo que «sabemos» del sexo, ofrecen una atrevida explicación alternativa.

La tesis central de Ryan y Jethá es que los seres humanos evolucionamos en su día en grupos igualitaristas que compartían la comida, el cuidado de los niños y, a menudo, las parejas sexuales. Entretejiendo indicios convergentes —obviados habitualmente— que nos ofrecen la antropología, la arqueología, la primatología, la anatomía y la psicología sexual, los autores ponen de manifiesto lo lejos que está la monogamia de formar parte de la naturaleza humana.

En el principio era el sexo, siguiendo la tradición de la mejor literatura histórica y científica, da la vuelta con insolencia a postulados injustificados y a conclusiones sin fundamento, ofreciendo a cambio una forma revolucionaria de entender por qué vivimos y amamos como lo hacemos.
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