Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said: Wit and Wisdom from America's Finest

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The official tie-in book to the wildly popular Facebook page, featuring brand-new crazy, off-the-wall, outrageously funny, and downright “awesome” pearls of wisdom from real-life drill sergeants and instructors from all branches of the military.

Sweat dries. Blood clots. Bones heal. Suck it up, buttercup.

After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail with other combat veterans—an exchange with friends that would grow into the dedicated Facebook page, “Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said.” But what began as a comedic outlet has evolved into a robust online community and support network that conducts fundraisers for and donates to military charities, has helped veterans struggling with PTSD and other issues, and on numerous occasions, literally saved lives.

Now, Caddy shares more great DS stories—most never before seen—in this humorous collection. Often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining, these rants from real life soldiers are interspersed with lively sidebars, Top 10 lists, stories from fans, one-liners, and more.

For anyone who has suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said will add a much needed dose of humor to the day.

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About the author

Dan Caddy is a former marketing professional and veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom. He is the founder of the Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said Facebook page. The Facebook page now has more than ten individuals on staff, including many current and former drill sergeants. Dan is the president and founder of Battle in Distress Inc., a nonprofit devoted to helping service members in crisis. He lives in Vermont and continues to serve in the military.

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Additional Information

Publisher
Harper Collins
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Published on
Jun 9, 2015
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Pages
192
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ISBN
9780062351975
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Features
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Language
English
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Genres
Humor / Form / Anecdotes & Quotations
Humor / Topic / Adult
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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The book consists of seven true short stories in which my cousin Fred, along with my brother Frank, played a dominant part. I would hope that the reader gathers up Freds character as he or she reads the seven stories. Fred made a lot of enemies in his lifetime, the most venomous being himself. Fred left the army in the early fifties during a period of austerity and very quickly discovered that jobs were scarce and there was no post military assistance, as there is today, in employment seeking. Fred served seven years in Palestine, Egypt and other areas in the Middle East and was then simply demobilized to join the job queues without being provided with any trade, training or guidance in how to find work. Fred very quickly gave up the vain search for employment and sought to befriend the gangster community who he regarded as successful when he saw them drive big shiny black limousines and frequent clubs in the West End of London- some of which they owned. They formed a liking for him. He had film star looks, was charming and when he sang he sang with emphasis on the words which took on a meaning and the women adored him. Sadly all these plusses were counter balanced to zero by his inability to hold or control his drinking. He found himself on the receiving end of some horrific sickening attacks of a physical nature none of which brought about a rethink of his drinking habits. Freds assets of looks, charm, authoritative voice, singing voice and natural presence were all negated by his weakness- drink. In self- destruct mode, he converted his assets into dust and I, on numerous occasions, stood there helpless and unable to stop him. When I reached seventeen to eighteen years of age he took me on as his protg with the intention of teaching me what life was all about and the stories that make up this book are just a few examples of the lessons and my development under Freds tuition. Our campus was East London and my tuition fees were paid in every kind of hurt imaginable and his inimitable style of dividing the spoils ensured that my tuition fees were also paid in cash. Despite his well documented faults, a day spent with Fred could be funny because he failed to realise how outrageous he was. Also amusing was his inability and refusal to accept a setback and my efforts to include this part of his character in the stories is intentional and I trust will enable the reader to appreciate the humour in an otherwise tragic story. I have resisted the temptation to fictionalise in search of ironic or anecdotal conclusions but have allowed the individual stories to end factually.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE A.V. CLUB • Includes new interviews!

From the writer and director of Knocked Up and the producer of Freaks and Geeks comes a collection of intimate, hilarious conversations with the biggest names in comedy from the past thirty years—including Mel Brooks, Jerry Seinfeld, Jon Stewart, Sarah Silverman, Harold Ramis, Seth Rogen, Chris Rock, and Lena Dunham.

Before becoming one of the most successful filmmakers in Hollywood, Judd Apatow was the original comedy nerd. At fifteen, he took a job washing dishes in a local comedy club—just so he could watch endless stand-up for free. At sixteen, he was hosting a show for his local high school radio station in Syosset, Long Island—a show that consisted of Q&As with his comedy heroes, from Garry Shandling to Jerry Seinfeld. They talked about their careers, the science of a good joke, and their dreams of future glory (turns out, Shandling was interested in having his own TV show one day and Steve Allen had already invented everything).

Thirty years later, Apatow is still that same comedy nerd—and he’s still interviewing funny people about why they do what they do.

Sick in the Head gathers Apatow’s most memorable and revealing conversations into one hilarious, wide-ranging, and incredibly candid collection that spans not only his career but his entire adult life. Here are the comedy legends who inspired and shaped him, from Mel Brooks to Steve Martin. Here are the contemporaries he grew up with in Hollywood, from Spike Jonze to Sarah Silverman. And here, finally, are the brightest stars in comedy today, many of whom Apatow has been fortunate to work with, from Seth Rogen to Amy Schumer. And along the way, something kind of magical happens: What started as a lifetime’s worth of conversations about comedy becomes something else entirely. It becomes an exploration of creativity, ambition, neediness, generosity, spirituality, and the joy that comes from making people laugh.

Loaded with the kind of back-of-the-club stories that comics tell one another when no one else is watching, this fascinating, personal (and borderline-obsessive) book is Judd Apatow’s gift to comedy nerds everywhere.

Praise for Sick in the Head

“I can’t stop reading it. . . . I don’t want this book to end.”—Jimmy Fallon

“An essential for any comedy geek.”—Entertainment Weekly

“Fascinating . . . a collection of interviews with many of the great figures of comedy in the latter half of the twentieth century.”—The Washington Post

“Open this book anywhere, and you’re bound to find some interesting nugget from someone who has had you in stitches many, many times.”—Janet Maslin, The New York Times

“An amazing read, full of insights and connections both creative and interpersonal.”—The New Yorker

“Fascinating and revelatory.”—Chicago Tribune

“Anyone even remotely interested in comedy or humanity should own this book.”—Will Ferrell
My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world.
--from the Introduction



Actual reader feedback:




"I am completely baffled as to how you can congratulate yourself for being a womanizer and a raging drunk, or think anyone cares about an idiot like you. Do you really think that exploiting the insecurities of others while getting wasted is a legitimate thing to offer?"




"Thank you, thank you, thank you--for sharing with us your wonderful tales of drunken revelry, for teaching me what it means to be a man, for just existing so I know that there is another option; I too can say 'screw the system' and be myself and have fun. My life truly began when I finished reading your stories. Now, when faced with a quandary about what course of action I should take, I just ask myself, 'What Would Tucker Do?'--and I do it, and I am a better man for it."




"I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist."




"I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."




"You are the coolest person I can even imagine existing. If you slept with my girlfriend, it'd make me love her more."
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