Stick a Fork in Me: A Novel

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A rollicking, no-holds-barred tour of the world of big-time college sports from “the best sportswriter in America” (Larry King).

Pete Wallace, a good old boy from Texas, paid his dues coaching football on obscure campuses in the boondocks of America until he landed the athletic director's job at Western Ohio University. For 15 years, he has steadily and skillfully guided the school into the high society of major college sports.

But now Pete, fed up with politically correct campus culture and babysitting fragile egos, is retiring from the "arms race." As he waits for the university's board of trustees to act on his early retirement package, he reflects on his career, the people he's come across, and what life will be like in retirement.

Pete's story is told in Jenkins's unmistakable, raucous, old-school style, and it's full of colorful, absurd, and downright crazy characters--from clueless trustees and busybody protestors to prima donna football coaches and booster club pests. Stick a Fork in Me shows that Jenkins is “hilarious, providing more laughs per page than any other writer in the ‘bidness’” (People).
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About the author

Dan Jenkins is an award-winning sportswriters and a bestselling novelist. After 15 years of writing for newspapers in Fort Worth and Dallas, he became nationally known for his stories in Sports Illustrated for more than a quarter century, and since then for his articles in Golf Digest. Three of his bestselling novels--Semi-Tough, Dead Solid Perfect, and Baja Oklahoma--were made into movies. Dan is one of only three writers to be inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame; he has received the PEN Lifetime Achievement Award for Literary Sportswriting; and the Associated Press Sports Editors named him the 33rd recipient of the Red Smith Award, the highest honor in his profession. Dan and his wife June live in Texas.

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Additional Information

Publisher
Simon and Schuster
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Published on
Jan 1, 2017
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Pages
224
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ISBN
9781507201480
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / General
Fiction / Humorous / General
Fiction / Small Town & Rural
Fiction / Sports
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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An uproarious, surprising, and poignant satire of American suburbia and youth sports gone wild

When Ben and Jili Holden must move from Manhattan with their three children back to their small hometown of Palace Valley, California, they are forced to reconcile the parents they’ve become with the dreams they had, the choices they’ve made, and a sex life much more down-to-earth than the epic Ferris wheel tryst of their youth. After reluctantly stepping up to lead his son’s Little League team, Ben is challenged to finally come to terms with the long shadow of his father, a legendary high school baseball coach and mentor who is beloved by generations of players, yet largely a stranger to Ben.

At the heart of the story are the universal experiences and themes of family and community, as Ben and Jili struggle to connect with their technology-addicted children and grapple with issues of marital fidelity—both at home and in the hotbed of sexual tension that is the Little League park. Among an unforgettable cast are Del, an autocratic coach who issues his own Ten Commandments; Liza, Ben’s unrequited high school crush; Logan, a smart-aleck ringer whose preteen talents are eclipsed only by his ego; and Cyn, the sultry thong-wearing team mom with the serpent tattoo. Every mother and father of every boy and girl who have ever participated in youth sports can relate, and in Parents Behaving Badly Scott Gummer brilliantly skewers overzealous parents and lunatic coaches, giving the grown-ups who seek vicarious glory the send-up they so richly deserve.
Introduced in Dan Jenkins’s previous uproarious novel of the pro golf tour, The Money-Whipped Steer-Job Three-Jack Give-Up Artist, Bobby Joe Grooves is now forty-four and still without a win in a major championship. A student of golf lore, Bobby Joe is well aware that only a small group of stars have ever won a major at his age or older, and among them are such immortals as Nicklaus, Boros, Irwin, and Trevino. It’s now or never for Bobby Joe, and excuse him for thinking that his chances are slim and none.

So it’s off to the Masters, U.S. Open, British Open, and the rest of the PGA Tour for Bobby Joe, who’s leaving behind the prospect of a third ex-wife. On the golf courses he’ll face familiar competitors such as Knut Thorssun and Cheetah Farmer, but the rival who may loom the largest is the game’s newest child star, nineteen-year-old Scott Pritchard. His talents are the talk of the Tour—so is his arrogance—and so, by the way, is his stunning mom, Gwendolyn, a shapely adorable woman who captures Bobby Joe’s full attention and threatens not to let go.

Long revered by his peers as one of the world’s best sportswriters, and beloved by readers for such classics as Semi-Tough and Dead Solid Perfect, Dan Jenkins is at the top of his form in Slim and None. It’s packed with authentic insider gems about each of the majors and hilarious sketches of many of the characters—touring pros, officials, media, agents, caddies, and ladies—who inhabit this outrageous and endearing world of sports.
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