Timeless Topper

My Crazy Alien Romance

Book 3
Donna McDonald
Free sample

Welcome to Magic, New Mexico—otherwise known as Crazytown. 

Snow zones and ice patches are popping up all over. It’s Topper’s job to fix this conundrum even though she’s four months pregnant, yet looks like she’s about to give birth any second. The cold patches aren’t melting like ice should in New Mexico heat. 

Add in fish shifter Alfred’s infatuation with a cat woman and there is double chaos… mainly due to the fact that cats tend to eat fish. When random aliens begin appearing too, it's all Topper can do not to turn the entire town into donkeys so she can give birth in peace. Something has to give. 

What’s a pregnant witch to do? Solve Magic's problems, that’s what. But it’s easier said than done.

Topper feels ill-equipped to be a mother, even if the child rapidly growing inside her obviously doesn't agree. Growing at twice the rate of a normal baby, her daughter will arrive sooner than she can say Blessed Be. 

But why in the heck hasn’t she known all this time that her alien husband, Stark, has a twin sister? Men never tell you the important stuff, no matter which planet they hail from. Whatever… 

With her daughter on the way and the town in peril, Topper will sprint to the rescue once again… or waddle. 

Goddess help everyone when she figures out what in her purple-haired glory days is going on.

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Additional Information

Publisher
Donna McDonald
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Published on
Jul 20, 2018
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Pages
165
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ISBN
9781939988911
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Features
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Humorous / General
Fiction / Romance / Action & Adventure
Fiction / Romance / Paranormal / Shifters
Fiction / Romance / Romantic Comedy
Fiction / Romance / Science Fiction
Fiction / Science Fiction / Alien Contact
Fiction / Science Fiction / Humorous
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Content Protection
This content is DRM free.
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Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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 It may be snowing everywhere else, but in Magic, New Mexico, it's hotter than ever!


The holidays are happening in Magic but temperatures haven't lowered from sweltering to slow melt yet. Despite all the lectures to Jessica about life in a desert climate, Topper's young witch daughter still longs to celebrate the festive season as humans in cooler climates do. 


Top of Jessica's Christmas wishlist this year appears to be getting her mother and father to make her some snow. Conjuring cold is not a magical problem for Topper, or for Stark who’s an alien from an ice planet, but getting rid of the men in black who would show up to investigate it definitely would be. 


Jessica's insistent demands for snow are enough to drive Topper crazy, but now Dr. Lena Verglas from the University of Arizona has arrived in Magic looking for pretty much the same thing. 


The very human doctor of climate science wants to build a bio-dome and make snow in it. A swarm of academic humans moving to the town? That's never happening so long as Topper can prevent it. Thankfully, Sheriff Theo and Deputy Calix are in agreement with her about running the human off. Or at least they were until she heard Deputy Calix started sleeping with the nosy human. Dragons and their libidos—just one more problem she doesn’t need.


The arrival of six more naked aliens from Glacier, having to deal with a set of bad hyena shifters, Deputy Calix’s Greek dragon family showing up, and Stark wanting another baby is all sending Topper right over the top. As the witch in charge, she’s got to get a handle on the mounting chaos before it's too late. 

The Pan of Hamgee, starving outlaw, bumps into Big Merv; the meanest, scariest gangster in the City and without thinking what he is doing, steals his wallet. When Big Merv realises what has happened our hero's future looks short. Will he talk his way out of it or will he be 'recycled' into a stanchion of the Outer Ring Road extension.

U certificate. 4,000 words.
Written in British English.

This comedic sci fi quick read is a short story prequel to the K'Barthan Series.

It is a short story in the sense that it is not long rather than that the plot fits with any particular preconceived 'short story' format. Or to put it another way there is no twist in this tale.

It takes place in a contemporary setting, in a parallel universe - as does the whole series. This light piece of witty comedy fiction tells us how two of the characters meet. This story sits in the of British tradition of humour and satire.

There is also an excerpt from Few Are Chosen, the first book in the K'Barthan series, over and above the word count quoted here (which is for the actual story only).

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR

Q – So, tell us about the K’Barthan Series. What made you write it? What makes it special?

A – There's a saying, somewhere, that if the book you want to read hasn't been written, you must write it. If you want the honest answer I wrote it for me.

As a reader, I have always loved British satire and humor or humour. I love funny; funny epic fantasy series like the Discworld novels and comedic sci fi like Douglas Adams totally floats my boat. But I also like a gripping tale that zips along quickly in the time honoured tradition of unputdownable fiction. And of course, I like genre fiction mashups; Douglas Adams meets StarTrek and James Bond - and a dash of romance (but no squelchy bits). Therefore, my cunning gambit was fantasy that was also science fiction and would surprise me. I wanted a fast paced story and gripping tale but comedy in the tradition of all the great funny British authors.

The K'Barthan series is about teamwork; team action in science fiction - or fantasy. Our heros and heroines work together to bring down the indomitable forces of evil (bit of an untrendy epic fantasy trope there but I like it). You won't find standard mythic creatures in my sci fi - I couldn't face the deluge of emails I'd inevitably get from those who knew more about them than I do, telling me I'd got them wrong. However, you will find all sorts of quirky characters and interesting alien species. From six feet Swamp Things with antennae to cute furry creatures like the Blurpons, with their fluffy ears, big button eyes and penchant for extreme violence.

Q – Should the K’Barthan Series be read in order?

A – The character development – and some of the technology – will make the most sense if it is. That said, the short series prequel can be read any time. The books go in this order:

- Unlucky Dip, K'Barthan Series: Prequel
- Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1
- The Wrong Stuff, K'Barthan Series: Part 2
- One Man: No Plan, K'Barthan Series: Part 3
- Looking For Trouble, K'Barthan Series: Part 4

Q – What will readers enjoy most about The K'Barthan Series?

A – Hopefully, the same things as I do:

Q – What is your favourite kind of Book? Would The K'Barthan Series fit on the list?

A – Oh yes. I wrote it entirely for me. If anyone else likes it, that’s gravy. I love British humour, especially satire and parody in sci fi and fantasy: people like Pratchett and Adams. There’s so much texture and depth in their books. I think if you're funny you can be harder hitting and setting it all in a parallel reality helps.

Q – Do you have a target reader?

A – Not really. I wrote it with my nephew in mind - he was a teenager at the time - but it's more a mind set and an approach to life that I'm reaching out to. To give you an idea; the oldest fan of the series I know of is in his 90s and the youngest is 10.

Q – Thanks for giving our readers a look inside The K'Barthan Series.

A –  Thank you!

The Pan of Hamgee doesn’t believe in miracles but if he’s going to save K’Barth it looks as if he might need one.

He's not quite as alone as he thought. The punters from The Parrot and Screwdriver are right behind him and he has rescued three of his friends from the Grongolian Security Forces, who are now of course, three of the nation's most wanted, which doesn't make life easy. He even has something of a plan for once. It involves making peace with the Resistance, trying to resurrect the Underground movement, and toppling Lord Vernon.

Now, The Pan just needs to keep his head down and maintain a low profile. He must be brave and clever and stay in control. That's going to be a first. But the hardest part will be staying alive long enough to put his plan into action.

Written in British English with a little light swearing.
Suggested cinema rating: PG
This book is the final part of a a completed science fiction series which is best enjoyed when read in sequence.

A QUICK WORD WITH THE AUTHOR

Q - So, tell us about the K’Barthan Series. What made you write it? What makes it special?
A - As a reader, I have always loved British satire and humor or humour. I love comedic sci fi and fantasy and I love funny; funny epic fantasy series like the Discworld novels and comedic sci fi like Douglas Adams totally floats my boat. But I also like a gripping tale that zips along quickly in the time honoured tradition of unputdownable adventure. And of course, I like genre fiction mashups; Douglas Adams meets StarTrek and James Bond - and a dash of romance (but no squelchy bits). Therefore, my cunning gambit was fantasy that was also science fiction and would surprise even me. I wanted a fast paced story and gripping tale but comedy in the tradition of all the great funny British authors.

The K'Barthan series does have a deeper side. Sure on one level it's a light piece of witty comedy fiction but on another level it's about teamwork; team action in science fiction - or fantasy. Our heros and heroines work together across the series to bring down the indomitable forces of evil (bit of an untrendy epic fantasy trope there but I like it). You won't find standard mythic creatures in my sci fi - I couldn't face the deluge of emails I'd inevitably get from those who knew more about them than I do, telling me I'd got them wrong. However, you will find all sorts of quirky characters and interesting alien species. From six feet Swamp Things with antennae to cute furry creatures like the Blurpons, with their fluffy ears, big button eyes and penchant for extreme violence. The K’Barthan population has variety.

Q – Should this series be read in order?
A – Yes. The character development – and some of the technology – will make the most sense if it is. That said, the short series prequel can be read any time. The books go in this order:

- Unlucky Dip: Prequel
- Few Are Chosen, K’Barthan Series: Part 1
- The Wrong Stuff, K’Barthan Series: Part 2
- One Man: No Plan, K’Barthan Series: Part 3
- Looking For Trouble, K’Barthan Series: Part 4

Q – What is your favourite kind of Book? Would The K'Barthan Series fit on the list?
A – Oh yes. I wrote it entirely for me. If anyone else likes it, that’s gravy. I love British humour, especially satire and parody in sci fi and fantasy: people like Pratchett and Adams. There’s so much texture and depth in their books. I think if you're funny you can be harder hitting and setting it all in a parallel reality helps.

Q – Do you have a target reader?
A – It's more a mind set and an approach to life I'm reaching out to. Sure, I wrote it with my (then) teenage nephew in mind - but to give you an idea; the oldest fan of the series I know of is in his 90s and the youngest is 10.

Q – Thanks for giving our readers a look inside The K'Barthan Series.
A –  Thank you!

 It may be snowing everywhere else, but in Magic, New Mexico, it's hotter than ever!


The holidays are happening in Magic but temperatures haven't lowered from sweltering to slow melt yet. Despite all the lectures to Jessica about life in a desert climate, Topper's young witch daughter still longs to celebrate the festive season as humans in cooler climates do. 


Top of Jessica's Christmas wishlist this year appears to be getting her mother and father to make her some snow. Conjuring cold is not a magical problem for Topper, or for Stark who’s an alien from an ice planet, but getting rid of the men in black who would show up to investigate it definitely would be. 


Jessica's insistent demands for snow are enough to drive Topper crazy, but now Dr. Lena Verglas from the University of Arizona has arrived in Magic looking for pretty much the same thing. 


The very human doctor of climate science wants to build a bio-dome and make snow in it. A swarm of academic humans moving to the town? That's never happening so long as Topper can prevent it. Thankfully, Sheriff Theo and Deputy Calix are in agreement with her about running the human off. Or at least they were until she heard Deputy Calix started sleeping with the nosy human. Dragons and their libidos—just one more problem she doesn’t need.


The arrival of six more naked aliens from Glacier, having to deal with a set of bad hyena shifters, Deputy Calix’s Greek dragon family showing up, and Stark wanting another baby is all sending Topper right over the top. As the witch in charge, she’s got to get a handle on the mounting chaos before it's too late. 

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