Why You Crying?: My Long, Hard Look at Life, Love, and Laughter

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In this eagerly awaited autobiography, comedian and prime-time television star George Lopez tells the heartbreaking yet humorous story of his inspirational rise from dead-end kid in the Valley to giving a command performance before the president of the United States.
It is a rare story that touches us so deeply with its humor, sadness, and powerful message that it transcends the walls of race, culture, and class that divide us.
Why You Crying? is just such a story.
Abandoned by his migrant-worker father at the tender age of two months, deserted by a wild, mixed-up mother at the age of ten years, Lopez grew up angry, alone, teased, and tormented in California's San Fernando Valley, raised by grandparents who viewed love as a four-letter word.
Inspired by his idols, Freddie Prinze Sr. and Richard Pryor, Lopez sets out on a tumultuous twenty-year journey into the manic world of stand-up comedy -- trying to learn a skill nobody can teach; scoring one night and bombing the next; fighting anger, alcohol, depression, and doubt all while battling the barriers built to keep Chicanos from breaking through, especially on network TV.
Today, the George Lopez show is a prime-time hit on ABC and his sold-out stand-up performances attract thousands of fans of all ages, each drawn to the sidesplitting riffs mined from a life so sad it had to be funny. Why You Crying? takes an outsider from the San Fernando Valley to Warner Bros. studios to inside the Emmys to plush Pebble Beach and all the way to the halls of Harvard.
Along the way it's pure G. Lo -- raw, real, and, ultimately, uplifting.
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About the author

George Lopez is the cocreator, writer, producer, and star of the acclaimed ABC sitcom George Lopez. A current cast member of HBO's Inside the NFL, he has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, and Good Morning America, among others. A recipient of many prestigious awards and honors, Lopez lives with his family in California.

Armen Keteyianis a CBS News correspondent based in New York and an eleven-time Emmy Award winner, he is widely regarded as one of the finest investigative journalists in the country. A former writer-reporter at Sports Illustrated, he is also the author or coauthor of ten previous books, including the New York Times bestsellers Raw Recruits and The System. Born and raised in Michigan, he now lives with his wife, Dede, in Fairfield, Connecticut, and San Clemente, California.
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Additional Information

Publisher
Simon and Schuster
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Published on
Jun 4, 2004
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Pages
208
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ISBN
9780743267212
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Language
English
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Genres
Biography & Autobiography / Entertainment & Performing Arts
Biography & Autobiography / General
Humor / General
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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Dear Reader,

When we asked the beloved award-winning comedian and actor Robert Klein to write a book, you can imagine our utter surprise when he told us that he wanted to write about sixth-century Chinese pottery. Thankfully, he hit a creative brick wall (since he doesn't really know anything about pottery from China or anywhere else). Then came similar failures to write books about sea turtles, circumnavigation of the globe, building jet engines at home, the sociology of chickens, or fungi of the skin.

Luckily, Mr. Klein's paramount concern was the consumer. He knew that if we, his publishers, were going to boldly ask you to purchase his book (see above for price), he would have to write something so good, so worthwhile, so meaningful as to make you want to send additional money to your bookseller in gratitude for having allowed you to partake in this reading experience.

So Mr. Klein set out to write about what he knows best: himself. This book is about the adventures of a child who becomes a young man: how he thinks and dreams and lusts and fears and laughs and handles adversity.

From the beginning of his distinguished career as a comedian, Robert Klein established himself as a pioneer in observational humor and razor-sharp routines that are infectiously funny. Now -- for the first time -- Klein brings his trademark humor and honesty to the printed page. In this portrait of a comic as a young man, Klein takes us back to the people and streets of his Bronx neighborhood, the eccentric cast of characters in the Catskills hotels and bungalow colonies where he worked, the college dorms where he received more than an academic education, the 1964 World's Fair where he fell in love, New York City and Chicago in the 1960s as he developed his talent, and Los Angeles just as he was about to embark on a show business career. Throughout, Klein reveals the hilarity of growing up and explores the mysteries and his own foibles in sex and relationships. He recounts with wit and poignancy losing his virginity with a prostitute, bringing home a German girlfriend to his Jewish family, and the amorous adventures of the busboy he once was.

With an ego more fragile than Chinese pottery, Robert Klein has written a funny and evocative coming-of-age memoir -- well worth the price (if we say so ourselves). Enjoy.

All the best,

The Publisher

A hilarious romp from small-town USA to the pink carpet of Hollywood with the beloved Emmy-winning actor, playwright, and gay icon

Leslie Jordan is a small man with a giant propensity for scene stealing. Best known for his bravura recurring role as Karen's nemesis, Beverley Leslie, on Will & Grace (for which he won a Best Guest Actor in a Comedy Series Emmy in 2006), he has also made memorable appearances on Ally McBeal, Boston Public, Monk, and Murphy Brown.

Raised in a conservative family in Chattanooga, Tennessee, Leslie -- who describes himself as "the gayest man I know" -- boarded a Greyhound bus bound for LA with $1,200 sewn into his underpants and never looked back. His pocket-sized physique and inescapable talent for high camp paved the way to a lucrative and varied career in commercials and on television. Along the way he immersed himself in writing for the stage, and his one-man testimonials have become cult off-Broadway hits. But with success came dangerous temptations: a self-proclaimed former substance abuser and sexaholic, Leslie has spent time in jail and struggled to overcome his addictions and self-loathing.

My Trip Down the Pink Carpet is a rollicking, fast-paced collection of stories, served up with wit, panache, and plenty of biting asides. Filled with comically overwrought childhood agonies, offbeat observations, and revealing celebrity encounters -- from Boy George to George Clooney -- it delivers a fresh, laugh-out-loud take on Hollywood, fame, addiction, gay culture, and learning to love oneself.
I was at my wit's end. I'd had enough of this job, this life, and my relationship had broken up. Should I eat chocolate, or go to India, or fall in love? Then I had a revelation: Why not do all three, in that order? And so it was that I embarked on a journey that was segmented into three parts and was then made into a major motion picture. Later, I woke up on an airplane with a hole in my face and a really bad hangover. I was ushered brusquely off the plane by my parents who took me to a rehab where I tested positive for coke, classic coke, special k (the drug), Special K (the cereal), mushrooms, pepperoni, and Restless Leg Syndrome. It was there that I first began painting with my feet.

But rewind...the year was 1914. I was just a young German soldier serving in the trenches while simultaneously trying to destroy an evil ring with some help from an elf, a troll, and a giant sorcerer, all while cooking every recipe out of a Julia Child cookbook. What I'm trying to say is that there was a secret code hidden in a painting and I was looking for it with this girl who had a tattoo of a dragon! Let me clarify, it was the 1930s and a bunch of us were migrating out of Oklahoma, and I was this teenage wizard/CIA operative, okay? And, um then I floated off into the meta-verse as a ball of invisible energy that had no outer edge...

Ugh, okay. None of this is true. I'm just kind of a normal guy from New Jersey who moved to New York, got into comedy, wrote this book about trying to write this book, and then moved to Alaska, became the mayor of a small town, spent $30,000 on underwear, and now I'm going to rule the world!!!
Beloved stoner comedian TOMMY CHONG is now older, wiser, and officially an EX-CON.

On the morning of February 24, 2003, agents of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration launched a sting called Operation Pipe Dreams and forced themselves through the door of Tommy's California home, with automatic weapons drawn. As a result of the raid on his home; the simultaneous ransacking of his son's company, Chong Glass; and the Bush administration's determination to make an example out of the "Pope of Pot;" he was sentenced to nine months in prison because his company shipped bongs to a head shop in Pennsylvania that was a front for the DEA.

Well . . . now it's Tommy Chong's turn to fight back and tell his side of the story.

Beginning with Tommy's experiences growing up in Canada in the forties and fifties as a mixed-race kid and going on to become a comedy legend, The I Chong is at once a memoir, a spiritual exploration of his time in prison, and a political indictment of the eroding civil liberties in post-9/11 American society. He tells the unbelievable story of his trip down the rabbit hole of America's war on drugs and of his experiences in the federal prison system, and he offers up timely observations on combating the conservative political forces at work in this country. Introspective, inspiring, and incendiary, The I Chong is a unique chronicle of one man's life and how his humorous and spiritual point of view saved him during his wrongful incarceration at the hands of an administration without boundaries.
From one of the most celebrated and beloved comedians and actors of our time, George Lopez, comes this hilarious, touching, and often wacky chronicle of life after fifty.
 
George Lopez just hit the half-century mark and the reset button on his life. Newly single and ready to embrace life, George was excited to turn fifty. It would be a welcome new phase in his life, a chance to say goodbye to a decade that included a kidney transplant and a divorce. But when he looked around a room full of his childhood friends, all gathered to celebrate his birthday, many now bald or overweight, it suddenly hit him that he was old.
 
What happened? And more importantly, what was he going to do about it? George learns the hard way that when you turn 50, everything changes. You pull a muscle in your sleep. You avoid mirrors at all costs, and always, always wear a robe. You have to schedule an appointment to have sex. You have to dye your hair and buy a bathtub with a door.
 
As George learns to embrace life after fifty, he invites readers into his world, sharing the ups and downs of getting older—from his relationship with a much younger woman to a bizarre session with a pet psychic, to a trip behind-the-scenes at his tumultuous two years at Lopez Tonight, to an intimate look at his sacred ground, the golf course—and, for the first time, he reveals in moving detail, the story of the battle for his life against kidney disease.  
 
I’m Not Gonna Lie  will make you laugh at yourself, cry about yourself, and look at turning fifty in a way you never would’ve imagined—through the eyes of George Lopez.
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