I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck: An Everyman's Guide to a Meaningful Life

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The Angry Therapist who has helped thousands of men find more happiness in their relationships and more purpose in their lives now shares his insights with everyone in this powerful guide—self-help in a shotglass—covering essential topics, from vulnerability and posturing to workouts and women.

Deep in post-divorce soul searching, John Kim came to an astonishing realization: he was a miserable f*ck who might just be to blame for the problems in his life. Armed with this new insight, he began The Angry Therapist blog—an admission that, while he was a licensed therapist and life coach, he was no better than the people who sought his advice. In his first post, “My Fucking Feelings,” he wrote about the struggles and shortcomings that had led him to this point. As his work caught on, catapulting him into the role of unlikely and unconventional guide for thousands of people all over the world, Kim evolved from behaving like a boy to living like a man—and showed his clients how to do so as well.

In I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, Kim delivers the dos and don’ts for stepping up and into manhood, which he defines by transparency and strength of character, not six-pack abs or a corner office. With his signature no-nonsense approach that will make you laugh and think, Kim takes you on a rugged, rough and tumble road trip of self-exploration and discovery, sharing his wisdom and insights, such as why:

  • Being nice is for boys, and being kind is for men
  • Scheduling man dates could make you a better friend, lover, and human being
  • Peeing in the shower is a sign of a larger problem
  • Arguing, judging, and answering, “I dunno” are keeping you from a healthy relationship, a great career, and a happy life

We are not born men. We are born boys. The transition from misery to meaning is an internal process that requires work: reflection, pain, courage, and sometimes, a rebirth. Kim knows because he’s been there. The truth is, men weren’t meant to just pay bills and die. With this book as your guide, you will love hard, walk tall, and find a life filled with purpose and passion.

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About the author

John Kim blogs as The Angry Therapist. He practices complete authenticity and transparency with his many clients, frowned upon in the clinical world, and continues to look for new and unconventional ways to help people. He created the Catalyst Life Coaching Course, an online life coaching certification program, and recently John started a new platform called SHFT, an app that gives people support in their pocket when they need it and the chance to become a life coach themselves.  John Kim lives in Los Angeles where he makes videos on his phone, CrossFits, and rides his motorcycle to coffee shops to do sessions.

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Additional Information

Publisher
HarperCollins
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Published on
Jan 29, 2019
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Pages
240
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ISBN
9780062856357
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Language
English
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Genres
Psychology / Social Psychology
Self-Help / Motivational & Inspirational
Self-Help / Personal Growth / Happiness
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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ABOUT THE BOOK

Long considered a fixture of late-night television in America, Conan O'Brien has managed to captivate millions of viewers with his active and spontaneous hosting style, which has been characterized as “awkward, self-deprecating humor.” Conan O’Brien has been transformed from the high school student newspaper editor to the optimistic Harvard grad who headed out west in search for writing gigs in the entertainment industry, and finally to the public figure who was able to effectively leverage his writing talents to become a TV show host who easily connects to the audiences both on stage and at home.

MEET THE AUTHOR

John currently resides in San Francisco and has three years of experience in the medical device industry as well as over a year of academic research experience at Stanford University. He holds a BS in Biomedical Engineering from University of Southern California. John is currently a graduate student at Johns Hopkins University studying for a MS in Biotechnology on a remote basis. He follows very closely the recent developments in the venture capital arena, as he is an aspiring entrepreneur himself. In his spare time, he enjoys working out at the gym as well as playing basketball. John also loves to travel around the world every chance he can get.

EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK

Conan O’Brien’s road to fame began gradually after working for several years as a TV writer and moving on to become a TV show host. While on a writers’ strike from Saturday Night Live following the 1987-88 season, O'Brien put on an improvisational comedy revue called Happy Happy Good Show with fellow SNL writers Bob Odenkirk and Robert Smigel in Chicago. In 1989, O'Brien and other SNL writers received an Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy or Variety Series. Moreover, O'Brien occasionally appeared as an extra in sketches,

like many SNL writers. Among his most notable appearances was as a doorman in a sketch in which Tom Hanks was inducted into the SNL “Five-Timers Club” for hosting his fifth episode.

Another important milestone of O’Brien’s career was his stint as a writer and producer for The Simpsons from 1991 to 1993. He was an active producer during seasons 4 and 5 (1992-93), as he would frequently contribute to scripts as well as come up with story ideas, plot points, and jokes. The style of the show's comedy during this period was also influenced by his sensibilities; for example, the episode “Marge vs. the Monorail” was cited by several former writers as the turning point in the show's history where more absurd and visual comedy became acceptable. In his Harvard Class Day speech, O’Brien credited The Simpsons with pulling him out of his career slump

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In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.

For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.

Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.

There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

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