What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis? Justin
What's pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crossword
Did you hear about the consignment of Viagra pills stolen from a warehouse? Police are on the lookout for hardened criminals
An aeroplane is about to crash, when a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, 'If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.' She removes all her clothing and asks, 'Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?'
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 'Here, iron this!'
The greatest ever collection of dirty jokes guaranteed to offend and outrage the prudish. Full of hilarious gags, it's totally politically incorrect, unashamedly x-rated and downright filthy. Definitely one to keep well out of the way of the mother-in-law...
Now Ian Spector has returned to his voluminous vault to bring readers 200 new Chuck Norris facts alongside 200 facts about his longtime antagonist Mr. T, in a battle that pits foot against fist, beard against mohawk, and Delta Force against A-Team. Included in this fearsome tome are such startling observations as:
? There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
? King Kong once challenged Godzilla to an arm-wrestling match. Mr. T won.
? The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
? The last man to make eye contact with Mr. T was Stevie Wonder.
? Chuck Norris is a man?s man?s man.
? Mr. T once beat a man to death with his own corpse.
A hilarious tribute to two of the greatest humans who have ever lived, Chuck Norris vs Mr. T is the one book that can finally reveal what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object.
With the help of The Office, TWSS-or "That's what she said"-has quickly become the hottest joke of the twenty-first century. Now,in a book exploding with laughs, Justin Wishne and Bryan Nicolas, founders of TWSSstories.com, bring together hundreds of screamingly hilarious TWSS moments from fans, choice historical and celebrity quotes, an introduction from "she," as well as a brief history of the phrase.
Several popular user-generated humor websites have already spawned successful books, including Texts from Last Night and F My Life. That's What She Said is certain to make as smooth an entry into the hands of readers who won't want to stop until they're finished and fully satisfied.
Meme (pronounced meem): An idea, belief or element of social behavior spread that is transmitted from one person or group of people to another.
This word was coined in the '70s by Richard Dawkins, the atheist godman worshipped by neckbeards everywhere.
Simply put, Internet memes are memes that spread on the Internet through social networking sites, blogs, email, news sources, and so on. In the real world they're called "ideas," but pseudo-intellectuals prefer "memes."
WHERE DO INTERNET MEMES COME FROM?
Amongst all the stupid crap on the Internet are hilarious gems of wit and wisdom. Most of the best memes start as images shared on the Web and, by some great misfortune, they find their way into the lecherous hands of drunken basement trolls who mutate these images into the hilarious, the lame, and sometimes the downright bizarre.
WHAT IS THIS BOOK?
This book will take you on bizarre journey through the bilges of the Internet and introduce you to 23 of its funniest and most popular memes, complete with a sh*tload of images that might just make you wet your panties.
"On this journey you will share lulz with unsavory characters like..."
"Foul Bachelor Frog"
"Socially Awkward Penguin"
"Successful Black Man"
Scroll up and click the "Buy" button now to laugh your a** off at the twisted hive mind of the Internet underworld...
Книга представляет собой сборник из 3000 армейских афоризмов, глупостей, маразмов и двусмысленных команд разных военных людей.
Для кого эта книжка? Сборник «Азбука Армейских Афоризмов» предназначен для тех читателей, интеллект и широта кругозора которых, будет в состоянии переварить специфический армейский юмор былых лет. Ну и конечно для тех, кому дороги воспоминания о днях своей военной службы и кто прекрасно понимает о чем идет речь.
Для чего эта книжка? Как сказал нам один полковник в отставке: «А чтоб не рыскать по интернетам, а иметь все мысли в одном месте, прямо под рукой…».
Издатель благодарит всех, кто участвовал в создании этого сборника и прислал нам свои «смешные слова» и анекдоты. А также надеется, что, приведенный в этой книжке «образец мышления» не станет образцом для формирования вашей жизненной философии.
Весь материал сборника рассортирован в алфавитном порядке для удобства вашего чтения.