The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Transform Your Relationships

Julie de Azevedo Hanks

Aug 2016 · New Harbinger Publications

About this ebook

Isn’t it time you took a stand? Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you’re prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult. Grounded in attachment theory, this essential guide will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life.

When you’re assertive, you’re able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction. But when you aren’t assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren’t being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways. People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances.

Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself. You’ll learn about the three communication stances—from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern—and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life. Rather than being caught in a cycle of rumination and regret when you’re unable to express yourself or even acknowledge your own needs, you’ll be ready to assert yourself and get what you want.

Whether you’re anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, this book will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.

About the author

Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD, LCSW, is passionate about helping women find their voice in their own lives, relationships, and in the world. She is a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, author of The Burnout Cure, blogger, local and national media contributor, online influencer, consultant, award-winning performing songwriter, and founder and director of Wasatch Family Therapy. A native Californian, Hanks currently lives in Salt Lake City, UT, with her husband and their four children. For more information, visit www.drjuliehanks.com.

Foreword writer Riane Eisler, JD, is a systems scientist, cultural historian, author of The Chalice and the Blade and The Real Wealth of Nations, and coauthor of Transforming Interprofessional Partnerships. She has been a leader in the movement for peace, sustainability, and economic equity, and her pioneering work in human rights has expanded the focus of international organizations to include the rights of women and children. For more information, visit www.rianeeisler.com.