Calamity Jayne and the Sisterhood of the Traveling Lawn Gnome

Calamity Jayne Mysteries

Book 8
Gemma Halliday Publishing
4
Free sample

What do you call a fly in a blonde's brain?

A space invader.

 

Ace Cub Reporter Tressa "Calamity" Jayne Turner is back in Grandville and ready to enjoy the slower pace of with small town life and begin building a dating resume with one handsome ranger. It’s Frontier Days at the Historical Village, but mischief’s afoot—of the malicious variety—when vandals target the area, stealing and damaging property and leaving behind spray-painted signatures in the form of hot pink tornadoes. 

 

So what else besides a gang of local thugs threatens Knox County’s frontier festivities? Only a cross-dressing aunt bent on a reunion "gotcha," two-relationships in crisis, three dates from hell, an eccentric local with an ET obsession, five burning questions for a man-o’-mystery, and a missing lawn gnome that makes Chucky seem benevolent by comparison.

 

It’s a countdown to a showdown where strange lights in the sky, “signs” on the trees, and horses of a different color are only the beginning of this close encounter of the Calamity Jayne kind. And Tressa Jayne? She’s ready to believe.

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

Calamity Jayne and the Sisterhood of the Traveling Lawn Gnome – book #8

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews


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About the author

Kathy's unconventional path to publication can certainly be described as the "road less traveled." A pioneer for women in law enforcement, she was one of the first female state troopers in Iowa, and she learned two valuable lessons that have served her well in her pursuit of a professional writing career: never give up and never stop laughing.

Kathy is the award-winning author of the Calamity Jayne Mystery series. She's been a Romantic Times American Title finalist, a Golden Heart finalist, and a finalist in the prestigious Daphne Du Maurier Award of Excellence contest, among other writing accolades.
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Additional Information

Publisher
Gemma Halliday Publishing
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Published on
Jul 31, 2015
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Pages
330
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ISBN
9781940371993
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Mystery & Detective / Cozy
Fiction / Mystery & Detective / Women Sleuths
Fiction / Romance / Romantic Comedy
Fiction / Romance / Suspense
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Content Protection
This content is DRM free.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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How does a blonde spell "Farm"?
E-I-E-I-O

Tressa Jayne Turner has had it up to here with the dumb-blonde jokes and a childhood nickname that's harder to get rid of than her favorite pair of cowboy boots.  Thanks to one Rick Townsend, Iowa Department of Natural Resources officer, local hottie, and general pain in Tressa's behind, everyone knows her as "Calamity Jayne".  Just because she may be a little accident prone and trouble seems to sometimes find her, Tressa can't get anyone in her small town to take her seriously.  That is, until Tressa finds a seriously dead body and an opportunity to get "Ranger Rick" and a skeptical citizenry to see that she's no longer that skinny kid with scraped knees.  How?  By resurrecting her job as a reporter for the hometown paper and solving a murder no one else believes happened... no one, that is, except the killer.  Now Tressa is one not-so-dumb blonde who's out to gain a little hometown respect—or die trying.

 

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews

"Throw in two parts Nancy Drew, one part Lucille Ball, add a dash of Stephanie Plum, shake it all up and you’ve got a one-of-a-kind amateur sleuth with a penchant for junk food and hot-pink snakeskin cowgirl boots. A word to the wise: if you’re prone to laughing out loud when reading funny books, try not to read Calamity Jayne when you’re sandwiched between two sleeping passengers on an airplane…sometimes we learn these things the hard way."
~ Chick Lit Cafe

"Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes."
~ Booklist *starred review*

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
A frosted flake.

Tressa Jayne Turner, known in her hometown as "Calamity Jayne" for her unconventional exploits, is the newest reporter at the Grandville Gazette.  And after a whirlwind start to her new job, she's ready to enjoy the final weeks of summer at The Iowa State Fair.  The homegrown good-time is Tressa's favorite time of year—donuts, funnel cakes, cotton candy, turkey legs.  It's also her Uncle Frank's busiest.  His ice cream stand is in a prime location, and he's poised to scoop the competition.  But when a soft-serve saboteur appears at the same time her cousin goes missing, it's another fine, sticky mess she's gotten herself into.

 

With a string of malicious pranks, psycho dunk-tank clowns, two geriatric Jessica Fletcher wannabes, one hot state trooper, and a guy in a chicken suit, it's mayhem on the midway!  Throw in one Ranger Rick Townsend, the Don Juan of the Department of Natural Resources and bestower of the hated "Calamity Jayne" moniker, and Tressa's got her hands full!  The only question is, can she solve the crime and save the day... or will this blonde be enjoying her final fair? 

(NOTE: This book was previously published under the title Calamity Jayne Rides Again.)

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews

"Throw in two parts Nancy Drew, one part Lucille Ball, add a dash of Stephanie Plum, shake it all up and you’ve got a one-of-a-kind amateur sleuth with a penchant for junk food and hot-pink snakeskin cowgirl boots. A word to the wise: if you’re prone to laughing out loud when reading funny books, try not to read Calamity Jayne when you’re sandwiched between two sleeping passengers on an airplane…sometimes we learn these things the hard way."
~ Chick Lit Cafe

"Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes."
~ Booklist *starred review*

Full of humor and suspense, the bestselling Java Jive series heats up as the irrepressible heroine of Death Before Decaf faces off against Nashville’s upper crust to solve a shocking murder.
 
Former musician Juliet Langley has barely had a day off since taking over management of the coffeehouse owned by her best friend, Pete Bennett. But there’s always more to be done—such as prepping for the annual Holiday 5K Race organized by Pete’s snobby socialite girlfriend, Cecilia Hollingsworth. This year, Java Jive has a booth right at the finish line, and since Juliet and Cecilia don’t always see eye to eye, everything has to be perfect. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing . . . like Juliet stumbling over Cecilia’s dead body on the morning of the race.
 
When Pete is arrested for Cecilia’s murder, Juliet sets out to clear his name. She’ll do whatever it takes—even if it means standing up to the police, her ex-boyfriend, and the grande dames of Nashville. But there isn’t enough espresso in the world for the greatest challenge in her path: infiltrating Nashville’s high society to uncover the hidden hotbed of scandal without running afoul of the law herself. With her last dime staked on Pete’s bail bond and her staff growing jittery, the last thing Juliet needs is for her trademark temper to land her behind bars. As time drips away, Juliet needs to crack this case before the killer comes back for another shot.

Praise for Mug Shot

“The humorous and witty dialogue, mixed with romantic tension and a puzzling mystery is a fresh and unique combination. Juliet’s first-person narrative is humorous at times and poignant at others, making her a loveable character I can’t help but cheer on. . . . The mystery-suspense elements are truly tense on an emotional level. . . . This series is delightful, well written, and wildly entertaining.”—Suspense Magazine

“The story is fast-paced and keeps you guessing to the very end. This author comes up with some very interesting ways to kill someone, and her injection of humor at just the right time is perfect. On its own, Mug Shot is a really good read, but if you follow the series, it will be even better.”—Linda Thompson, host of The Authors Show
 
“Another winner . . . Just like the first book, this one is peppered with funny scenes. . . . This is a good series and I highly suggest reading.”—Storeybook Reviews

“Once you start, you’ll want to finish it. Can’t wait for more caffeine-driven escapades.”—Sweet Mystery Books
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide-'n'-seek champ.

It's autumn in the heartland, where football rules, homecoming royalty reigns, and full moons don't just refer to a passing high school varsity bus.  But this year, Tressa Jayne Turner isn't just enjoying the candy corn, popcorn balls and caramel apples.  This reporter is on a mission to sniff out a serious story that will impress not only her skeptical family and friends, but also her boss at the Grandville Gazette.  

And it turns out "Calamity Jayne" is in luck!  Eccentric and reclusive bestselling writer, Elizabeth Courtney Howard is coming to little ol' Grandville to conduct some family business and finish her latest book.  So, what's stopping Tressa from scoring this journalistic coup?  A blackmailing, six-foot-two-inch homecoming queen candidate with all the charm of Frankenstein in taffeta, a rival reporter out to scoop the competition, a séance-hosting grandmother, and the sexy Ranger Rick Townsend who could tempt a nun to rethink her vows.  Suddenly Tressa better watch her step, as her exposé uncovers skeletons in everyone's closets and a haunted house that's too creepy for comfort. 

 

(NOTE: This book was previously published under the title Ghouls Just Want to Have Fun.)

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews

"Throw in two parts Nancy Drew, one part Lucille Ball, add a dash of Stephanie Plum, shake it all up and you’ve got a one-of-a-kind amateur sleuth with a penchant for junk food and hot-pink snakeskin cowgirl boots. A word to the wise: if you’re prone to laughing out loud when reading funny books, try not to read Calamity Jayne when you’re sandwiched between two sleeping passengers on an airplane…sometimes we learn these things the hard way."
~ Chick Lit Cafe

"Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes."
~ Booklist *starred review*

How does a blonde spell "Farm"?
E-I-E-I-O

Tressa Jayne Turner has had it up to here with the dumb-blonde jokes and a childhood nickname that's harder to get rid of than her favorite pair of cowboy boots.  Thanks to one Rick Townsend, Iowa Department of Natural Resources officer, local hottie, and general pain in Tressa's behind, everyone knows her as "Calamity Jayne".  Just because she may be a little accident prone and trouble seems to sometimes find her, Tressa can't get anyone in her small town to take her seriously.  That is, until Tressa finds a seriously dead body and an opportunity to get "Ranger Rick" and a skeptical citizenry to see that she's no longer that skinny kid with scraped knees.  How?  By resurrecting her job as a reporter for the hometown paper and solving a murder no one else believes happened... no one, that is, except the killer.  Now Tressa is one not-so-dumb blonde who's out to gain a little hometown respect—or die trying.

 

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews

"Throw in two parts Nancy Drew, one part Lucille Ball, add a dash of Stephanie Plum, shake it all up and you’ve got a one-of-a-kind amateur sleuth with a penchant for junk food and hot-pink snakeskin cowgirl boots. A word to the wise: if you’re prone to laughing out loud when reading funny books, try not to read Calamity Jayne when you’re sandwiched between two sleeping passengers on an airplane…sometimes we learn these things the hard way."
~ Chick Lit Cafe

"Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes."
~ Booklist *starred review*

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
A frosted flake.

Tressa Jayne Turner, known in her hometown as "Calamity Jayne" for her unconventional exploits, is the newest reporter at the Grandville Gazette.  And after a whirlwind start to her new job, she's ready to enjoy the final weeks of summer at The Iowa State Fair.  The homegrown good-time is Tressa's favorite time of year—donuts, funnel cakes, cotton candy, turkey legs.  It's also her Uncle Frank's busiest.  His ice cream stand is in a prime location, and he's poised to scoop the competition.  But when a soft-serve saboteur appears at the same time her cousin goes missing, it's another fine, sticky mess she's gotten herself into.

 

With a string of malicious pranks, psycho dunk-tank clowns, two geriatric Jessica Fletcher wannabes, one hot state trooper, and a guy in a chicken suit, it's mayhem on the midway!  Throw in one Ranger Rick Townsend, the Don Juan of the Department of Natural Resources and bestower of the hated "Calamity Jayne" moniker, and Tressa's got her hands full!  The only question is, can she solve the crime and save the day... or will this blonde be enjoying her final fair? 

(NOTE: This book was previously published under the title Calamity Jayne Rides Again.)

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews

"Throw in two parts Nancy Drew, one part Lucille Ball, add a dash of Stephanie Plum, shake it all up and you’ve got a one-of-a-kind amateur sleuth with a penchant for junk food and hot-pink snakeskin cowgirl boots. A word to the wise: if you’re prone to laughing out loud when reading funny books, try not to read Calamity Jayne when you’re sandwiched between two sleeping passengers on an airplane…sometimes we learn these things the hard way."
~ Chick Lit Cafe

"Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes."
~ Booklist *starred review*

What’s the hardest part of learning to ride a tandem?

The pavement.

 

It’s late July, and Tressa Jayne Turner’s summer is as sizzling as Ranger Rick Townsend!  But is Tressa in love or lust with the hot ranger?  There's not time to find out as Tressa’s boss at the Gazette, Stan Rodgers, wants his Ace Cub Reporter to cover TribRide—the state’s ginormous bicycle ride across the state—but  not from the sidelines. This assignment is a little more…hands on. Hands on the handlebars, that is. Not only that, but Tressa’s ticket to ride in  on a bicycle built for two! And at the tandem’s helm? Sleazy rival reporter Drew Van Vleet, aka, “the missing link.”

 

Could things get any worse? You decide. Tressa’s parents are on the outs. Her sister is on the warpath. Van Vleet’s insisting on a Star Trek theme. And Tressa is the number one suspect in a series of SO-not-funny pranks targeting reality TV star Keelie Keller. Talk about strange new worlds!  Tressa is about to go where no “Calamity” has gone before--and where the ultimate wedgie is bound to be the least of this uneasy rider’s worries! Hang on, folks. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride. (I am a Vulcan. I feel no pain.)

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews

"Throw in two parts Nancy Drew, one part Lucille Ball, add a dash of Stephanie Plum, shake it all up and you’ve got a one-of-a-kind amateur sleuth with a penchant for junk food and hot-pink snakeskin cowgirl boots. A word to the wise: if you’re prone to laughing out loud when reading funny books, try not to read Calamity Jayne when you’re sandwiched between two sleeping passengers on an airplane…sometimes we learn these things the hard way."
~ Chick Lit Cafe

"Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes."
~ Booklist *starred review*

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide-'n'-seek champ.

It's autumn in the heartland, where football rules, homecoming royalty reigns, and full moons don't just refer to a passing high school varsity bus.  But this year, Tressa Jayne Turner isn't just enjoying the candy corn, popcorn balls and caramel apples.  This reporter is on a mission to sniff out a serious story that will impress not only her skeptical family and friends, but also her boss at the Grandville Gazette.  

And it turns out "Calamity Jayne" is in luck!  Eccentric and reclusive bestselling writer, Elizabeth Courtney Howard is coming to little ol' Grandville to conduct some family business and finish her latest book.  So, what's stopping Tressa from scoring this journalistic coup?  A blackmailing, six-foot-two-inch homecoming queen candidate with all the charm of Frankenstein in taffeta, a rival reporter out to scoop the competition, a séance-hosting grandmother, and the sexy Ranger Rick Townsend who could tempt a nun to rethink her vows.  Suddenly Tressa better watch her step, as her exposé uncovers skeletons in everyone's closets and a haunted house that's too creepy for comfort. 

 

(NOTE: This book was previously published under the title Ghouls Just Want to Have Fun.)

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews

"Throw in two parts Nancy Drew, one part Lucille Ball, add a dash of Stephanie Plum, shake it all up and you’ve got a one-of-a-kind amateur sleuth with a penchant for junk food and hot-pink snakeskin cowgirl boots. A word to the wise: if you’re prone to laughing out loud when reading funny books, try not to read Calamity Jayne when you’re sandwiched between two sleeping passengers on an airplane…sometimes we learn these things the hard way."
~ Chick Lit Cafe

"Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes."
~ Booklist *starred review*

What does a blonde get on her intelligence test?
Drool.

Ace cub reporter Tressa Jayne Turner is carrying a full load—and we're not talking post-holiday pounds.  Back in college for the fourth time (but who's counting!?), "Calamity Jayne" is looking to nab a raise from her stingy boss at the Gazette, Stan.  So, what's to stop her from making the grade?

 

Well, for starters her grandmother turned roommate rekindling an old flame, maid of honor madness run amok, a botched betrothal that's more than just schoolyard gossip, and a campus criminal who is out to teach the student body a lesson... one crime at a time.  As Tressa navigates the halls of higher education, she finds herself torn not only between homework and investigating, but also between a man who likes her for herself and another man who wants to save her from herself.

 

It's a case of murder and mayhem by the books...and failure is so not an option.

 

 

(NOTE: This book was previously published under the title Calamity Jayne Goes to College.)

 

Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

Calamity Jayne – book #1

Calamity Jayne and the Fowl Play at the Fair – book #2

Calamity Jayne and the Haunted Homecoming – book #3

Calamity Jayne and the Campus Caper– book #4

Calamity Jayne in the Wild, Wild West– book #5

Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas– book #6

Calamity Jayne and the Trouble with Tandems– book #7

 

 

What critics are saying about the Calamity Jayne Mysteries:

"Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery."
~ Publishers' Weekly

"Fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters."
~ RT Book Reviews

"Throw in two parts Nancy Drew, one part Lucille Ball, add a dash of Stephanie Plum, shake it all up and you’ve got a one-of-a-kind amateur sleuth with a penchant for junk food and hot-pink snakeskin cowgirl boots. A word to the wise: if you’re prone to laughing out loud when reading funny books, try not to read Calamity Jayne when you’re sandwiched between two sleeping passengers on an airplane…sometimes we learn these things the hard way."
~ Chick Lit Cafe

"Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes."
~ Booklist *starred review*

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