It’s normal for your washing machine to get more action than you, right?
I wake up, bleary-eyed.
It’s been two years, six months and three hours since I last shaved my legs, and the llama-patterned knickers I’m wearing have seen better days.
We have seven minutes before the kids wake up, and my husband shuffles closer. ‘Ouch,’ he says, a piece of Lego sticking into his back.
Then, a light comes on in the landing. Small footsteps creep down the stairs. A little voice screams, ‘IS SOMEONE COMING TO MAKE BREAKFAST?!’
All hope of having some ‘alone time’ is replaced with wondering if we’ve run out of Cheerios, thinking about the overflowing laundry, and remembering that I forgot to take out the recycling. Again.
Just a typical Monday morning for the Morton family…
Except today, when I go downstairs in my dressing gown, I find something. Something belonging to my husband. Something that definitely wasn’t in the wedding vows. And it’s either going to make us… or break us.
An utterly hilarious and unmissable novel for anyone who has ever felt like they spend more time washing the dishes than getting lucky. Fans of Why Mummy Drinks and The Unmumsy Mum, and rom-coms by Sophie Ranald and Sophie Kinsella, will ugly laugh at this gloriously funny and relatable read.
Readers totally love Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?:
‘Absolutely hilarious!! Seriously, I haven’t been able to put this one down!… I have not stopped laughing… One of those books which is perfect after a stressful day because you are guaranteed to laugh out loud… Loved it… Devoured this book in just a few hours… Impossible to put down.’ Little Miss Book Lover 87, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘I've read books which have made me laugh before – but this time I couldn't stop!… I have giggled hysterically… It's so very, very funny! My long suffering other-half is used to me giggling maniacally when I'm reading, but this took things to a whole new level… A right good laugh… Absolutely hilarious… Yes, it's THAT funny! Without a doubt, worth a full house of stars.’ Grace J Reviewer Lady, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Oh my days… I was howling in bed! The hubby wasn’t happy… Said that amount of laughter should not be coming from the bedroom!’ Emma and the Little Book Worm, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Tears were running down my face, I was laughing so hard.’ I Am Indeed, ⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Hilarious. It will have you laughing out loud from beginning to end! Brilliant… I’m still smiling about this book now.’ Between the Pages Book Club, ⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘I just could not stop laughing.’ Crossroad Reviews, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Whoa!!... Kept me laughing… Had me in splits… This book was perfect.’ Shalini’s Books & Reviews, ⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Absolutely brilliant… I have never laughed aloud so much when reading… I so want this book to be the bestseller of 2020… Safe to say I will be gifting copies of this book to my female friends.’ Goodreads Reviewer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Hilarious… Had me laughing out loud… I genuinely loved this book.’ The Bespectacled Bibliophile, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘A laugh-a-minute comedy… I began laughing at about page 2 and didn’t stop until the end… Funny-as-hell!! I challenge anyone, man or woman, to read this book and not find at least one bit of it where you can say “yep…that’s my life”!!! This is a book that I started reading with tears in my eyes from laughing and rounded it off wonderfully with tears of sadness!!!… Fab, fab, fab!!!’ Stardust Book Reviews, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘There are funny books that make me smile and there are hilarious books that make me laugh out loud. For me this one definitely belongs in the latter category… I totally adored it.’ B for Book Review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘The laughs never stopped… Will give you a good bellyache from laughter.’ DarnCuteBookReviewGirl, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Marjorie Steel and Bryce Simpson have finally declared their love for each other, but their chance for happiness is once again yanked out from under them. As Marjorie is forced to confront her demons and find an inner strength to save herself and another, Bryce rushes to solve the puzzles his dead father left behind.
An ominous lawyer, twins with a secret, and a premature birth present new obstacles as the two lovers scramble to escape the conundrum and leave their families in peace, all while their desire for each other becomes more and more insatiable. When an unexpected figure from the past emerges, leaving them both thunderstruck, the mystery deepens even further.
It’s a race for healing.
It’s a race for love.
And Marjorie and Bryce are determined to have their happy ending.