It’s normal for your washing machine to get more action than you, right?
I wake up, bleary-eyed.
It’s been two years, six months and three hours since I last shaved my legs, and the llama-patterned knickers I’m wearing have seen better days.
We have seven minutes before the kids wake up, and my husband shuffles closer. ‘Ouch,’ he says, a piece of Lego sticking into his back.
Then, a light comes on in the landing. Small footsteps creep down the stairs. A little voice screams, ‘IS SOMEONE COMING TO MAKE BREAKFAST?!’
All hope of having some ‘alone time’ is replaced with wondering if we’ve run out of Cheerios, thinking about the overflowing laundry, and remembering that I forgot to take out the recycling. Again.
Just a typical Monday morning for the Morton family…
Except today, when I go downstairs in my dressing gown, I find something. Something belonging to my husband. Something that definitely wasn’t in the wedding vows. And it’s either going to make us… or break us.
An utterly hilarious and unmissable novel for anyone who has ever felt like they spend more time washing the dishes than getting lucky. Fans of Why Mummy Drinks and The Unmumsy Mum, and rom-coms by Sophie Ranald and Sophie Kinsella, will ugly laugh at this gloriously funny and relatable read.
Readers totally love Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?:
‘Last night I started Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life by Kristen Bailey and oh my days... I was howling in bed! The hubby wasn't happy... Said that amount of laughter should not be coming from the bedroom 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂.’ Emma and the Little Book Worm, 5 stars
‘There are funny books that make me smile and there are hilarious books that make me laugh out loud. For me this one definitely belongs in the latter category… This story is filled with funny parts and I totally adored it.’ B for Book Review, 5 stars
‘Full of humour, will definitely make you laugh (would be surprised if it didn’t!)… Makes you smile and laugh.’ Goodreads Reviewer, 5 stars
‘Hilarious… It really had all the feels.’ Foxy Faces with Nicky
‘A real light-hearted humorous, laugh-out-loud read… Will keep you entertained from start to finish, very down-to-earth, relatable humour that parents everywhere will be about to relate to!’ Goodreads Reviewer, 5 stars
Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation.
In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being ‘nice’ or ‘helpful.’ They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful cultural and societal issues with fierce empathy and unapologetic frankness.
“In many respects, Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered distills the My Favorite Murder podcast into its most essential elements: Georgia and Karen. They lay themselves bare on the page, in all of their neuroses, triumphs, failures, and struggles. From eating disorders to substance abuse and kleptomania to the wonders of therapy, Kilgariff and Hardstark recount their lives with honesty, humor, and compassion, offering their best unqualified life-advice along the way.” —Entertainment Weekly
“Like the podcast, the book offers funny, feminist advice for survival—both in the sense of not getting killed and just, like, getting a job and working through your personal shit so you can pay your bills and have friends.” —Rolling Stone
At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.