These stories will make you laugh, cry, and call your mother, daughter, and all your girlfriends.
LISA SCOTTOLINE is the New York Times bestselling author of more than thirty novels, including the Rosato & DiNunzio legal thrillers (beginning with Accused). Her standalone novels include Save Me, Don’t Go, and Dirty Blonde. Scottoline has won an Edgar Award and Cosmopolitan magazine’s “Fun Fearless Fiction” Award; multiple Earphones Awards for her nonfiction book recordings; and a “Paving the Way” Award from the University of Pennsylvania. She has served as the president of Mystery Writers of America and teaches a course on justice and fiction at the University of Pennsylvania Law School, her alma mater. She lives in the Philadelphia area.
FRANCESCA SERRITELLA graduated cum laude from Harvard University, where she won the Thomas Temple Hoopes Prize, the Le Baron Russell Briggs Fiction Prize, and the Charles Edmund Horman Prize for her creative writing. She lives in New York with only one dog, so far.
Scottoline and Serritella write a weekly column, “Chick Wit”, for The Philadelphia Inquirer. The columns have been collected in Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog; My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space; and Best Friends, Occasional Enemies, among others.
So put aside your worries and join Lisa and Francesca as they navigate their way through the crazy world we live in, laughing along the way.
The bestselling and “perennially hilarious” mother-daughter team is back with a new collection of stories from their real lives, guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. Join Lisa and Francesca as they regret drunk-shopping online, try smell-dating, and explore the freedom of a hiatus from men - a Guyatus. They offer a fresh and funny take on the triumphs and facepalm moments of modern life, showing that when it comes to navigating the crazy world we live in, you’re always your own best lifeguard.
At last, together in one collection, are Lisa Scottoline's wildly popular Philadelphia Inquirer columns. In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman's perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, "I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there's only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I'm Italian." The column gained momentum and popularity. Word of mouth spread, and readers demanded a collection. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is that collection. Seventy vignettes. Vintage Scottoline.
In this collection, you'll laugh about:
• Being caught braless in the emergency room
• Betty and Veronica's Life Lessons for Girls
• A man's most important body part
• Interrupting as an art form
• A religion men and women can worship
• Real estate ads as porn
• Spanx are public enemy number one
• And so much more about life, love, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit!
It will take you on a trip through things universal to all pairs of X chromosomes worth their salt: for coping with social dances in junior high (where the sexes meet like a hormonal high noon) to the joys of plucking out your chin hair like evil weeds; from the natural order of a girl's fantasies (like sweets that don't make you fat, spending that doesn't break the bank, a beautiful nap in the middle of a long day) to why flings with bad boys are the ultimate in dating pleasure (finding the right boy to lust after is a lifelong struggle--eventually you grow to be picky about who rejects you); from getting married (His best quality? He was like family. His worst quality? He was like family.) to the sad state of postnatal breasts. Gwen Macsai cover it all--with a shtick twist. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you're not her. No situation unaccounted for, no mole left unexamined, Macsai captures a woman's life from her first leg-shave to her last dose of hormone replacement therapy.
When you finish Lipshtick you'll have added another great girlfriend to your already glittering array. And in this world you can't have enough girlfriends or laughter.
A no-holds-barred look at the hilarious underbelly of what it means to be female, Dirty Girls lays bare the secrets of the fairer sex.
Women don't come from a different planet than men. In fact, both sexes want the exact same things: success, friendships, semifunctional families, semifunctioning relationships, good bodies, and lots and lots of great sex.
But there's more.Even though we pluck, we wax, and we put on war paint to mask our blemishes, we also regularly watch porn. We wear our bikini bottoms when we run out of clean underwear. When we're alone, we eat Cheetos and peanut butter on a spoon for dinner.
Women are fascinating, beautiful, and, yes, disgusting creatures, and we shouldn't be ashamed of it. Dirty Girls exposes the filthy, lazy, fabulous truth that everything boys can do, girls can do better.
The New York Times bestselling mother daughter duo are back with more hilarious, witty, and true tales from their lives. Whether they are attempting to hike the Grand Canyon, setting up phone calls with their dogs, or learning what “adulting” means, Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella are guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, and appreciate the funniest moments in life. Like the perfect glass of rosé, they’re always here to help you escape from your own busy, modern life and instead, get lost in theirs.
Praise for the series:
"This summer beach read—which is indeed “like a glass of rosé, between two covers”—is sure to cheer readers spanning the generations." —Publishers Weekly on I See Life Through Rosè-Colored Glasses
“We all need down-to-earth wisdom and comedy now more than ever, and you will find both in abundance in I Need a Lifeguard Everywhere But the Pool.” —Connecticut Post
“We get to be flies on the wall as the mother-daughter team fights, makes up, and hurls barbs just like you and your mom.” —O, The Oprah Magazine (“Perfect Summer Must Read”)
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxietyThe driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyoneThe passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsettingThe rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
Here for the first time in a fabulous eBook bundle are two of their witty and warm collections.
Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog
This one's for you, extraordinary ordinary women everywhere! Here Lisa Scottoline shares a hilarious collection of scenes from her real life, and she bets her life sounds a lot like yours...if you crave carbs, can't find jeans that fit, and still believe that these two things are unrelated.
My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space
Lisa and Francesca give their mother-daughter perspective on everything from blind dates to empty calories, as well as life with the feistiest octogenarian on the planet, Mother Mary. Three generations, triple the laughs-and the love.