Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can--and Should--be Saved

Lundy Bancroft · JAC Patrissi

Nov 2011 · Sold by Penguin

About this ebook

From the bestselling author of Why Does He Do That? comes a relationship book that will help you make the decision of whether or not your troubled relationship is worth saving.

Every relationship has problems, but you can’t figure out if yours is beyond hope. How bad is too bad—and can your partner really change? Now, in this warm, supportive, and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft and women’s advocate JAC Patrissi offer a way for you to practically and realistically take stock of your relationship and move forward.
 
If you’re involved in a chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationship, the advice and exercises in this book will help you learn to:
 
• Tell the difference between a healthy—yet difficult—relationship and one that is really not working
• Recognize the signs that your partner has serious problems
• Stop waiting to see what will happen—and make your own growth the top priority
• Design a clear plan of action for you and your partner
• Navigate the waters of a relationship that’s improving
• Prepare for life without your partner, even as you keep trying to make life work with them

Ratings and reviews

I'd like to know if this is a book about how the man is always responsible for a relationship being hard to endure. Will this help me, a man that has made sacrifices for the good of the family and had to deal with a wife that is not a partner, but instead insists on being a competitor and taking credit for every good thing that happens, and discredits the husbands contributions. I've stayed because of a commitment to my children, but it has been an awful 35 years full of self centered control and bragging from my spouse. Will this book help me to decide if I need to go to save MY life or just point a finger at me?

Been in one in the past with a manipulative narcissist who put others down and was self centered. If someone wants to explore their options and treat you like an option leave them like its a priority. Love yourself first cause you deserve someone who realizes that you are worthy of love and respect.

Great book. So helpful. This man is an incredible author, he's an expert, he's kind, but he's very firm in his opinions. I can't recommend his books highly enough, just read them!

About the author

Lundy Bancroft has over twenty-five years of experience in the fields of abuse, trauma, and recovery. He has published five books, including the bestseller Why Does He Do That?, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?, When Dad Hurts Mom, The Batterer as Parent, and Should I Stay of Should I Go?. Lundy has worked with over 1000 abusive men in his counseling groups. He has also served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness, and has presented to 350 audiences across the U.S. and abroad.

JAC Patrissi is the founder and former director of the Vermont Victim Assistance Academy. She facilitates the Growing a New Heart Retreat series for women healing from destructive relationships.