The Wrong Stuff

K'Barthan Trilogy

Book 2
Hamgee University Press
4
Free sample

The Pan of Hamgee is not a natural knight in shining armour. Yet he has escaped from police custody in K’Barth, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One, from the Festival Hall. Pretty good, he thinks.

However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. They are both alive, of course, but with Lord Vernon on their tail neither of them can be sure how long for. 

To save K'Barth and Ruth, the woman of his dreams, The Pan must introduce her to the Candidate, who is prophesied to be the man of her dreams. And he must do it fast – before Lord Vernon finds her. But the gentleman in question is in hiding and no-one knows where. Only The Pan can find him, if he can bring himself to unite them.

Written in British English with a dash of light swearing. Suggested cinema rating PG.

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR

Q – So, tell us about the K’Barthan Series. What made you write it? What makes it special?

A – I wanted to write the books I wanted to read that hadn't been written. This is still why I write. I also wanted it to reflect the books I love, Terry Pratchett's discworld, Douglas Adams, Jasper Fforde, Tom Holt, Robert Rankin ... Also stuff like Heide Goody's Clovenhoof series, The Stainless Steel Rat series and strains of Harry Potter.

The hero, The Pan of Hamgee, had to be normal; someone who is aware of the risks he is taking and human – ie scared – for whom bravery costs. In Ruth, the heroine, I wanted to create someone pragmatic, sensible and grounded. She’s not going to lose a shoe and fall over, so the hero has to go back and help her, and they both get caught by the monster. She’s a strong female protagonist who is a bit more of a hero than The Pan, frankly – to start with at any rate. I think he catches her up as the story unfolds.

Q – Do our readers have to read the K’Barthan Series in order?

A – Yes otherwise the character development – and some of the technology – will make less sense. That said, the series of K'Barthan Extras I'm currently writing to go with it can be read any time. The rest of the books go in this order:

- Unlucky Dip, K'Barthan Series: Prequel
- Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1
- The Wrong Stuff, K'Barthan Series: Part 2
- One Man: No Plan, K'Barthan Series: Part 3
- Looking For Trouble, K'Barthan Series: Part 4

Q – Will the scary bits frighten me?
Hopefully not. Basically, if you have read the Harry Potter series and weren't freaked out by the scary bits in that, you should be fine with the K'Barthan Series.

Q – What will readers enjoy most about The K'Barthan Series?

A – Hopefully, the same things as I do: the laughs, the romance – where it appears – the fast pace and the action – especially the flying car chases – and I hope they will like its deeper side.

Q – What is your favourite kind of Book? Would The K'Barthan Series fit on the list?

A – Oh yes. As I mentioned earlier, I love humorous novels although a lot of my influences come from TV. There was this evening slot in the UK, after homework but before supper, when they showed old stuff on BBC2; original StarTrek, Get Smart, Hogan's Heroes, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. The persuaders, the Avengers, the Saint, Randal and Hopkirk Deceased, Space 1999. Then there's Blake's Seven and Dr Who, and Red Dwarf, of course. I loved all that.

Q – Do you have a target reader?


A – Officially it’s young adults and teenagers but it's turning out to be age 10 and up. Sure, now that it’s complete the series is certainly proving popular with teens and young adults and I had my nephew in mind when I wrote them, who was a teenager at the time. However, I firmly believe that all the best books should hold a universal appeal, so I also wrote it for me. Thus far – if the people who contact me are anything to go by – it appeals to a certain type of person across the board. The oldest fan of the series I know of is in his 90s and the youngest is 10.

Basically, if you like British Comedy you will probably enjoy the K'Barthan Series. If you enjoyed the Narnia books and the Harry Potter books you will probably like it. You might even like it if you enjoy historical novels like The Children of the New Forest, or Moonfleet.

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About the author

M T McGuire enjoys the real world but wouldn't want to live here full time. That's why she writes books. She grew up, or at least, got bigger, half way up a windy down in Sussex. Her home was also the first location choice for Hogwarts, in the Harry Potter films, so maybe it's not so strange that she's ended up writing spec-fic. Perhaps there's something in the water up there, apart from chalk. She used to do stand up but sat down and started to write books when she got married. She now lives in Bury St Edmunds, in Suffolk, with a McOther, a McMini and a selection of very silly cars. She hasn't found a way to make any of the cars fly, and none of them is fitted with ordnance like the ones in her books, but she and her team of evil scientists are working on that.

Despite being 46 now, and supposedly, an adult, M T checks all unfamiliar wardrobes for a gateway to Narnia. She hasn't found one so far but she lives in hope.

 

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Reviews

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Additional Information

Publisher
Hamgee University Press
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Published on
Mar 13, 2012
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Pages
438
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ISBN
9781907809194
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Fantasy / General
Fiction / Fantasy / Urban
Fiction / Humorous
Fiction / Romance / General
Fiction / Romance / Science Fiction
Fiction / Science Fiction / Action & Adventure
Fiction / Science Fiction / General
Humor / General
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Content Protection
This content is DRM free.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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See entire series

M T McGuire
All The Pan of Hamgee wants is a quiet life.

So why did he have to fall in love with a woman living a different version of reality, upset a murderous tyrant and then run out of places to hide?

Now all he has to do is face his inner demons, rescue everything he holds dear and save the world, or die trying.

Oh yes, and he's an abject coward.

Great. No pressure then.

Written in British English with a little light swearing.
Suggested cinema rating: PG
This is the box set version of a completed science fiction series.

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR
Q - Who would like this book?
Written in British English with a dash of light searing. Suitable for ages 10 and up - any younger readers who have read all the Harry Potter books without any worries will be fine with the K'Barthan Series.
Suggested cinema rating, PG.

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR

Q – So, tell us about the K’Barthan Series. What made you write it? What makes it special?

A – I wanted to write the books I wanted to read that hadn't been written. This is still why I write. I also wanted it to reflect the books I love, Terry Pratchett's discworld, Douglas Adams, Jasper Fforde, Tom Holt, Robert Rankin ... Also stuff like Heide Goody's Clovenhoof series, The Stainless Steel Rat series and strains of Harry Potter.

The hero, The Pan of Hamgee, had to be normal; someone who is aware of the risks he is taking and human – ie scared – for whom bravery costs. In Ruth, the heroine, I wanted to create someone pragmatic, sensible and grounded. She’s not going to lose a shoe and fall over, so the hero has to go back and help her, and they both get caught by the monster. She’s a strong female protagonist who is a bit more of a hero than The Pan, frankly – to start with at any rate. I think he catches her up as the story unfolds.

Q – Do our readers have to read the K’Barthan Series in order?

A – Yes otherwise the character development – and some of the technology – will make less sense. That said, the series of K'Barthan Extras I'm currently writing to go with it can be read any time. The rest of the books go in this order:

- Unlucky Dip, K'Barthan Series: Prequel
- Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1
- The Wrong Stuff, K'Barthan Series: Part 2
- One Man: No Plan, K'Barthan Series: Part 3
- Looking For Trouble, K'Barthan Series: Part 4

Q – What will readers enjoy most about The K'Barthan Series?

A – Hopefully, the same things as I do: the laughs, the romance – where it appears – the fast pace and the action – especially the flying car chases – and I hope they will like its deeper side.

Q – What is your favourite kind of Book? Would The K'Barthan Series fit on the list?

A – Oh yes. As I mentioned earlier, I love humorous novels although a lot of my influences come from TV. There was this evening slot in the UK, after homework but before supper, when they showed old stuff on BBC2; original StarTrek, Get Smart, Hogan's Heroes, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. The persuaders, the Avengers, the Saint, Randal and Hopkirk Deceased, Space 1999. Then there's Blake's Seven and Dr Who, and Red Dwarf, of course. I loved all that.

Q – Do you have a target reader?

A – Officially it’s young adults and teenagers. Now that it’s complete the series is certainly proving popular with teens and young adults and I had my nephew in mind when I wrote them, who was a teenager at the time. 

However, I firmly believe that all the best books should hold a universal appeal, so I also wrote it for me. Thus far – if the people who contact me are anything to go by – it appeals to a certain type of person across the board. The oldest fan of the series I know of is in his 90s and the youngest is 10.

Basically, if you like British Comedy you will probably enjoy the K'Barthan Series. If you enjoyed the Narnia books and the Harry Potter books you will probably like it. If you enjoy historical novels like The Children of the New Forest, or Moonfleet, you might even like it.

Book 4
The Pan of Hamgee doesn’t believe in miracles but if he’s going to save K’Barth it looks as if he might need one.

He's not quite as alone as he thought. The punters from The Parrot and Screwdriver are right behind him and he has rescued three of his friends from the Grongolian Security Forces, who are now of course, three of the nation's most wanted, which doesn't make life easy. He even has something of a plan for once. It involves making peace with the Resistance, trying to resurrect the Underground movement, and toppling Lord Vernon.

Now, The Pan just needs to keep his head down and maintain a low profile. He must be brave and clever and stay in control. That's going to be a first. But the hardest part will be staying alive long enough to put his plan into action.

Written in British English with a little light swearing.
Suggested cinema rating: PG
This book is the final part of a a completed science fiction series which is best enjoyed when read in sequence.

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR

Q – So, tell us about the K’Barthan Series. What made you write it? What makes it special?

A – I wanted to write the books I wanted to read that hadn't been written. This is still why I write. I also wanted it to reflect the books I love, Terry Pratchett's discworld, Douglas Adams, Jasper Fforde, Tom Holt, Robert Rankin ... Also stuff like Heide Goody's Clovenhoof series, The Stainless Steel Rat series and strains of Harry Potter.

The hero, The Pan of Hamgee, had to be normal; someone who is aware of the risks he is taking and human – ie scared – for whom bravery costs. In Ruth, the heroine, I wanted to create someone pragmatic, sensible and grounded. She’s not going to lose a shoe and fall over, so the hero has to go back and help her, and they both get caught by the monster. She’s a strong female protagonist who is a bit more of a hero than The Pan, frankly – to start with at any rate. I think he catches her up as the story unfolds.

Q – Do our readers have to read the K’Barthan Series in order?

A – Yes otherwise the character development – and some of the technology – will make less sense. That said, the series of K'Barthan Extras I'm currently writing to go with it can be read any time. The rest of the books go in this order:

- Unlucky Dip, K'Barthan Series: Prequel
- Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1
- The Wrong Stuff, K'Barthan Series: Part 2
- One Man: No Plan, K'Barthan Series: Part 3
- Looking For Trouble, K'Barthan Series: Part 4

Q – Will the scary bits frighten me?
Hopefully not. Basically, if you have read the Harry Potter series and weren't freaked out by the scary bits in that, you should be fine with the K'Barthan Series.

Q – What will readers enjoy most about The K'Barthan Series?

A – Hopefully, the same things as I do: the laughs, the romance – where it appears – the fast pace and the action – especially the flying car chases – and I hope they will like its deeper side.

Q – What is your favourite kind of Book? Would The K'Barthan Series fit on the list?

A – Oh yes. As I mentioned earlier, I love humorous novels although a lot of my influences come from TV. There was this evening slot in the UK, after homework but before supper, when they showed old stuff on BBC2; original StarTrek, Get Smart, Hogan's Heroes, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. The persuaders, the Avengers, the Saint, Randal and Hopkirk Deceased, Space 1999. Then there's Blake's Seven and Dr Who, and Red Dwarf, of course. I loved all that.

Q – Do you have a target reader?

A – Officially it’s young adults and teenagers but it's turning out to be age 10 and up. Sure, now that it’s complete the series is certainly proving popular with teens and young adults and I had my nephew in mind when I wrote them, who was a teenager at the time. However, I firmly believe that all the best books should hold a universal appeal, so I also wrote it for me. Thus far – if the people who contact me are anything to go by – it appeals to a certain type of person across the board. The oldest fan of the series I know of is in his 90s and the youngest is 10.

Basically, if you like British comedy and humour you will probably enjoy the K'Barthan Series. If you enjoyed the Narnia books and the Harry Potter books you will probably like it. You might even like it if you enjoy historical novels like The Children of the New Forest, or Moonfleet.

Book 3
The Pan of Hamgee needs answers, although he’s not even sure he knows the questions.

He has a chance to go straight but it’s been so long that he’s almost forgotten how. Despite a death warrant over his head he is released, given a state-sponsored business, and a year’s amnesty for all misdemeanours while he adjusts. On the down side, Ruth has thrown in her lot with his nemesis, Lord Vernon. 

The Pan doesn’t have a year, either. In only five days Lord Vernon will gain total power and destroy K'Barth. Unless The Pan can stop him. Because even though the Candidate, the person prophesied to save K'Barth, has finally appeared it's still going to be down to The Pan to make things right. But he has no clue where to start or whether he even can. 

The future hangs by a thread and the only person who can fix it is The Pan: a man without a plan.

Written in British English with a dash of light searing. Suggested cinema rating PG

 INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR

Q – So, tell us about the K’Barthan Series. What made you write it? What makes it special?

A – I wanted to write the books I wanted to read that hadn't been written. This is still why I write. I also wanted it to reflect the books I love, Terry Pratchett's discworld, Douglas Adams, Jasper Fforde, Tom Holt, Robert Rankin ... Also stuff like Heide Goody's Clovenhoof series, The Stainless Steel Rat series and strains of Harry Potter.

The hero, The Pan of Hamgee, had to be normal; someone who is aware of the risks he is taking and human – ie scared – for whom bravery costs. In Ruth, the heroine, I wanted to create someone pragmatic, sensible and grounded. She’s not going to lose a shoe and fall over, so the hero has to go back and help her, and they both get caught by the monster. She’s a strong female protagonist who is a bit more of a hero than The Pan, frankly – to start with at any rate. I think he catches her up as the story unfolds.

Q – Do our readers have to read the K’Barthan Series in order?

A – Yes otherwise the character development – and some of the technology – will make less sense. That said, the series of K'Barthan Extras I'm currently writing to go with it can be read any time. The rest of the books go in this order:

- Unlucky Dip, K'Barthan Series: Prequel
- Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1
- The Wrong Stuff, K'Barthan Series: Part 2
- One Man: No Plan, K'Barthan Series: Part 3
- Looking For Trouble, K'Barthan Series: Part 4

Q – Will the scary bits frighten me?
Hopefully not. Basically, if you have read the Harry Potter series and weren't freaked out by the scary bits in that, you should be fine with the K'Barthan Series.

Q – What will readers enjoy most about The K'Barthan Series?

A – Hopefully, the same things as I do: the laughs, the romance – where it appears – the fast pace and the action – especially the flying car chases – and I hope they will like its deeper side.

Q – What is your favourite kind of Book? Would The K'Barthan Series fit on the list?

A – Oh yes. As I mentioned earlier, I love humorous novels although a lot of my influences come from TV. There was this evening slot in the UK, after homework but before supper, when they showed old stuff on BBC2; original StarTrek, Get Smart, Hogan's Heroes, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. The persuaders, the Avengers, the Saint, Randal and Hopkirk Deceased, Space 1999. Then there's Blake's Seven and Dr Who, and Red Dwarf, of course. I loved all that.

Q – Do you have a target reader?

A – Officially it’s young adults and teenagers but it's turning out to be age 10 and up. Sure, now that it’s complete the series is certainly proving popular with teens and young adults and I had my nephew in mind when I wrote them, who was a teenager at the time. However, I firmly believe that all the best books should hold a universal appeal, so I also wrote it for me. Thus far – if the people who contact me are anything to go by – it appeals to a certain type of person across the board. The oldest fan of the series I know of is in his 90s and the youngest is 10.

Basically, if you like British Comedy you will probably enjoy the K'Barthan Series. If you enjoyed the Narnia books and the Harry Potter books you will probably like it. You might even like it if you enjoy historical novels like The Children of the New Forest, or Moonfleet.

M T McGuire
If you asked Andi Turbot whether she had anything in common with Flash Gordon she’d say no, emphatically. Saving the world is for dynamic, go-ahead, leaders of men and while it would be nice to see a woman getting involved for a change, she believes she could be the least well-equipped being in her Galaxy for the job.

Then her best friend, Eric, reveals that he is an extra terrestrial. He’s not just any ET either. He’s Gamalian: seven-foot, lobster-shaped and covered in marmite-scented goo. Just when Andi's getting used to that he tells her about the Apocalypse and really ruins her day.

The human race will perish unless Eric’s Gamalian superiors step in. Abducted and trapped on an alien ship, Andi must convince the Gamalians her world is worth saving. Or escape from their clutches and save it herself. 

Written in British English with some light swearing.
Suggested cinema rating, PG.

Here are some things readers have said about it:

'If you like cheesy fifties scifi flicks you will definitely enjoy this light-hearted homage.' - crittermom

'If you like fast, interesting story-telling with good characterization with just the right bit of Python-esque quirkiness then look no further.' - Bradley

'My favourite book is Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, but this was almost as good. Perfect mix of sci-fi and humour all the way through to the exciting end. Best book I’ve read for months.' - 15 year old boy on the panel of the Wishing Shelf Book Award

'The pacing is the best part of this book. It’s like a white-water river. It even started exciting. It also has the best cover in this awards.' - 15 year old girl on the panel of the Wishing Shelf Book Award

This book is a comedy fantasy written in the British Humorous tradition of writers such as, Douglas Adams, mainly the Hitch Hiker's Guide, Jasper Fforde, Tom Holt, Red Dwarf, Monty Python and Sir Terry Pratchett. It is also regularly compared to the Stainless Steel Rat Series and Heide Goody's Clovenhoof series. So, if you like any of those, you may well enjoy Escape From B-Movie Hell.


Book 1
Meet The Pan of Hamgee: coward, unwilling adventurer and, by some miracle, K’Barth’s longest surviving outlaw. He just wants a quiet life so working as getaway driver is probably a bad career move. Then he falls in love at first sight with a woman he hasn't even met who comes from an alternative reality. That’s when things really begin to get complicated.

Meet Ruth Cochrane: she’s the Chosen One, destined to play a pivotal role in saving K’Barth from a cruel dictator. She’s never heard of K’Barth, though. She’s a public relations executive from London and she’s totally unaware of the chaos about to hit her life.

Meet Lord Vernon: power hungry psychopath on the brink of world domination. He wants to cement his hold on K'Barth by kidnapping the Chosen One and forcing her to marry him. Only one person is standing in his way: someone who doesn’t even realise it, The Pan of Hamgee. For The Pan, and Ruth, that’s a deadly problem.

Written in British English with some light swearing: Suggested cinema rating, PG: first novel in a complete science fiction/fantasy series of 4 books

Runner up in 2011 Wishing Shelf Awards
Awarded Awesome Indies Seal of Approval
Awarded IndiePENdents seal of approval.

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR

Q – So, tell us about the K’Barthan Series. What made you write it? What makes it special?

A – I wanted to write the books I wanted to read that hadn't been written. This is still why I write. I also wanted it to reflect the books I love, Terry Pratchett's discworld, Douglas Adams, Jasper Fforde, Tom Holt, Robert Rankin ... Also stuff like Heide Goody's Clovenhoof series, The Stainless Steel Rat series and strains of Harry Potter.

The hero, The Pan of Hamgee, had to be normal; someone who is aware of the risks he is taking and human – ie scared – for whom bravery costs. In Ruth, the heroine, I wanted to create someone pragmatic, sensible and grounded. She’s not going to lose a shoe and fall over, so the hero has to go back and help her, and they both get caught by the monster. She’s a strong female protagonist who is a bit more of a hero than The Pan, frankly – to start with at any rate. I think he catches her up as the story unfolds.

Q – Do our readers have to read the K’Barthan Series in order?

A – Yes otherwise the character development – and some of the technology – will make less sense. That said, the series of K'Barthan Extras I'm currently writing to go with it can be read any time. The rest of the books go in this order:

- Unlucky Dip, K'Barthan Series: Prequel
- Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1
- The Wrong Stuff, K'Barthan Series: Part 2
- One Man: No Plan, K'Barthan Series: Part 3
- Looking For Trouble, K'Barthan Series: Part 4

Q – Will the scary bits frighten me?
Hopefully not. Basically, if you have read the Harry Potter series and weren't freaked out by the scary bits in that, you should be fine with the K'Barthan Series.

Q – What will readers enjoy most about The K'Barthan Series?

A – Hopefully, the same things as I do: the laughs, the romance – where it appears – the fast pace and the action – especially the flying car chases – and I hope they will like its deeper side.

Q – What is your favourite kind of Book? Would The K'Barthan Series fit on the list?

A – Oh yes. As I mentioned earlier, I love humorous novels although a lot of my influences come from TV. There was this evening slot in the UK, after homework but before supper, when they showed old stuff on BBC2; original StarTrek, Get Smart, Hogan's Heroes, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. The persuaders, the Avengers, the Saint, Randal and Hopkirk Deceased, Space 1999. Then there's Blake's Seven and Dr Who, and Red Dwarf, of course. I loved all that.

Q – Do you have a target reader?

A – Officially it’s young adults and teenagers but it's turning out to be age 10 and up. Sure, now that it’s complete the series is certainly proving popular with teens and young adults and I had my nephew in mind when I wrote them, who was a teenager at the time. However, I firmly believe that all the best books should hold a universal appeal, so I also wrote it for me. Thus far – if the people who contact me are anything to go by – it appeals to a certain type of person across the board. The oldest fan of the series I know of is in his 90s and the youngest is 10.

Basically, if you like British Comedy you will probably enjoy the K'Barthan Series. If you enjoyed the Narnia books and the Harry Potter books you will probably like it. You might even like it if you enjoy historical novels like The Children of the New Forest, or Moonfleet.

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