Acquainted with the Night: A Parent's Quest to Understand Depression and Bipolar Disorder in His Children

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In the tradition of Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind, Acquainted with the Night is a powerful memoir of one man’s struggle to deal with the adolescent depression and bipolar disorder of his son and his daughter.

Seven years ago Paul Raeburn’s son, Alex, eleven, was admitted to a psychiatric hospital after leaving his fifth-grade classroom in an inexplicable rage. He was hospitalized three times over the next three years until he was finally diagnosed by a psychiatrist as someone exhibiting a clear-cut case of bipolar disorder. This ended a painful period of misdiagnosis and inappropriate drug therapy. Then Raeburn’s younger daughter, Alicia, twelve, was diagnosed as suffering from depression after episodes of self-mutilation and suicidal thoughts. She too was repeatedly admitted to psychiatric hospitals. All during this terrible, painful time, Raeburn’s marriage was disintegrating, and he had to ask what he and his wife might have done, unwittingly, to contribute to their children’s mental illness. And so, literally to save his children’s lives, he used all the resources available to him as a science reporter and writer to educate himself on their diseases and the various drugs and therapies available to help them return from a land of inner torment.

In Paul Raeburn’s skilled hands, this memoir of a family stricken with the pain of depression and mania becomes a cathartic story that any reader can share, even as parents unlucky enough to be in a similar position will find it of immeasurable practical value in their own struggles with the child psychiatry establishment.
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About the author

PAUL RAEBURN was formerly a senior writer and editor at Business Week, where he covered science and medicine for seven years. He is the recipient of many distinguished writing awards and is also the author of Mars: Uncovering the Secrets of the Red Planet and The Last Harvest: The Genetic Gamble That Threatens to Destroy American Agriculture. A native of Detroit, Raeburn lives in New York City with his wife, the writer Elizabeth Devita.
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Additional Information

Publisher
Crown
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Published on
Dec 18, 2007
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Pages
320
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ISBN
9780307418791
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Language
English
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Genres
Medical / Psychiatry / Child & Adolescent
Psychology / Psychopathology / Bipolar Disorder
Psychology / Psychotherapy / Child & Adolescent
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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Paul Raeburn
For too long, we've thought of fathers as little more than sources of authority and economic stability in the lives of their children. Yet cutting-edge studies drawing unexpected links between fathers and children are forcing us to reconsider our assumptions and ask new questions: What changes occur in men when they are "expecting"? Do fathers affect their children's language development? What are the risks and rewards of being an older-than-average father at the time the child is born? What happens to a father's hormone levels at every stage of his child's development, and can a child influence the father's health? Just how much do fathers matter?
In Do Fathers Matter? the award-winning journalist and father of five Paul Raeburn overturns the many myths and stereotypes of fatherhood as he examines the latest scientific findings on the parent we've often overlooked. Drawing on research from neuroscientists, animal behaviorists, geneticists, and developmental psychologists, among others, Raeburn takes us through the various stages of fatherhood, revealing the profound physiological connections between children and fathers, from conception through adolescence and into adulthood—and the importance of the relationship between mothers and fathers. In the process, he challenges the legacy of Freud and mainstream views of parental attachment, and also explains how we can become better parents ourselves.
Ultimately, Raeburn shows how the role of the father is distinctly different from that of the mother, and that embracing fathers' significance in the lives of young people is something we can all benefit from. An engrossing, eye-opening, and deeply personal book that makes a case for a new perspective on the importance of fathers in our lives no matter what our family structure, Do Fathers Matter? will change the way we view fatherhood today.
Paul Raeburn
“I absolutely loved this book, both as a parent and as a nerd.” —Jessica Lahey, author of The Gift of Failure

As every parent knows, kids are surprisingly clever negotiators. But how can we avoid those all-too-familiar wails of “That’s not fair!” and “You can’t make me!”? In The Game Theorist’s Guide to Parenting, the award-winning journalist and father of five Paul Raeburn and the game theorist Kevin Zollman pair up to highlight tactics from the worlds of economics and business that can help parents break the endless cycle of quarrels and ineffective solutions. Raeburn and Zollman show that some of the same strategies successfully applied to big business deals and politics—such as the Prisoner’s Dilemma and the Ultimatum Game—can be used to solve such titanic, age-old parenting problems as dividing up toys, keeping the peace on long car rides, and sticking to homework routines.

Raeburn and Zollman open each chapter with a common parenting dilemma. Then they show how carefully concocted schemes involving bargains and fair incentives can save the day. Through smart case studies of game theory in action, Raeburn and Zollman reveal how parents and children devise strategies, where those strategies go wrong, and what we can do to help raise happy and savvy kids while keeping the rest of the family happy too.

Delightfully witty, refreshingly irreverent, and just a bit Machiavellian, The Game Theorist’s Guide to Parenting looks past the fads to offer advice you can put into action today.

Paul Raeburn
For too long, we've thought of fathers as little more than sources of authority and economic stability in the lives of their children. Yet cutting-edge studies drawing unexpected links between fathers and children are forcing us to reconsider our assumptions and ask new questions: What changes occur in men when they are "expecting"? Do fathers affect their children's language development? What are the risks and rewards of being an older-than-average father at the time the child is born? What happens to a father's hormone levels at every stage of his child's development, and can a child influence the father's health? Just how much do fathers matter?
In Do Fathers Matter? the award-winning journalist and father of five Paul Raeburn overturns the many myths and stereotypes of fatherhood as he examines the latest scientific findings on the parent we've often overlooked. Drawing on research from neuroscientists, animal behaviorists, geneticists, and developmental psychologists, among others, Raeburn takes us through the various stages of fatherhood, revealing the profound physiological connections between children and fathers, from conception through adolescence and into adulthood—and the importance of the relationship between mothers and fathers. In the process, he challenges the legacy of Freud and mainstream views of parental attachment, and also explains how we can become better parents ourselves.
Ultimately, Raeburn shows how the role of the father is distinctly different from that of the mother, and that embracing fathers' significance in the lives of young people is something we can all benefit from. An engrossing, eye-opening, and deeply personal book that makes a case for a new perspective on the importance of fathers in our lives no matter what our family structure, Do Fathers Matter? will change the way we view fatherhood today.
雷伯恩(Paul Raeburn)
學習雙贏是每個孩子成長過程中最重要的能力,
卻也是大人最不知所措的教養課題!
第一本以賽局為基礎的教養法——
幫助你快速了解孩子的行為動機,讓孩子自己會想。
9大賽局策略,可運用在不同的教養情境,
竟然就可教會孩子協商、解決家庭爭吵、打造最打動人心的公平。

« 教養書金獎得主╳賽局專家 聯手打造最新教養法

« 一出版即登上Amazon教養類暢銷書第1名

« 《紐約時報》、《華爾街日報》、《高速企業》、《連線》難得一致推薦的教養書

« 楊俐容、魏瑋志、蘇明進、彭菊仙、黃瑽寧 教養專家╳親子部落客強力推薦給所有家長老師

當賽局家老爸佐曼遇上科學家老爸雷伯恩,兩個不同專業領域的人一碰面,竟有聊不完的育兒經。他們很快就發現,每個大人其實都可以從賽局策略中獲益良多。兩位老爸於是決定聯手寫下這本教養書,用最淺顯易懂的語言帶領家長與老師深入了解孩子的行為動機,引導孩子自己會想,幫助他們及早建立更好的人際關係與解決問題的能力,並養成主動學習的習慣。

賽局理論常用在政治、心理、行為、經濟,直到近年才應用在教育教養——這個極具挑戰的領域。這本書將幫助大人用點巧思,加上一點經濟學、一點心理學、一點練習,就能給孩子不一樣的思考。你不用跟孩子開戰,就能做出讓孩子服你的公正決定;不僅可減少親子衝突、增進家人和諧,還能在過程中教導孩子雙贏思考,並學習以同樣的方式跟其他人相處,以更聰慧靈敏的方式認識這個世界。

九大賽局策略╳最新教養研究,幫孩子建立一生受用的能力:

Ÿ   我切你選:不用任何數學就可公平分配,而且皆大歡喜

Ÿ   競價拍賣:用家事來競標,輕鬆解決誰先來的大難題

Ÿ   囚徒困境:一旦開始合作,日後便會更常合作

Ÿ   最後通牒:孩子厭惡不公,卻又深受不公平吸引

Ÿ   祭出末日機器:雖然按鈕不在你手上,但該處罰時一定會發生

Ÿ   降低說謊誘因:孩子想的跟你不一樣,須養成追問細節的習慣

Ÿ   多數決困境:少數難以服從多數時,隨機獨裁者就派上用場了

Ÿ   新版棉花糖實驗:孩子是否有忍耐力,跟大人是否值得信任有關

Ÿ   及早培養同理心:孩子四歲就懂善待對自己慷慨的人,八歲開始有正義感,也是這個年紀,大人可以有效引導孩子建立正確的價值觀

強力推薦

「只要多了解一些賽局策略,在教養上必能更得心應手。」

―《紐約時報》

 

「這本書跟其他教養書相比很不一樣。它是以人類家庭行為的實際研究為基礎,善加利用必然可減少家中牢騷抱怨的聲音。」

―《華爾街日報》

 

「孩子懂得撒嬌賣萌,讓大人意見衝突,在公共場合大聲哭鬧。你的要務是別讓自己情緒失控,同時有效化解危機,本書告訴你可以怎麼做。」

―《連線》雜誌

 

「精通育兒與經濟學的雷伯恩與佐曼,為一個嚴肅主題注入了幽默與活力,幫助大人與孩子們協商,最後讓每個人都覺得受到公平對待與相互尊重。用心閱讀並應用,就能讓餐桌、電視間與車後座的爭吵大大減少!」

—《紐約時報雜誌》書評

 

「教養的任何小事,舉凡分享、分配、合作、妥協,都有長遠意義,卻也充滿挑戰。不少解決方案得到公平卻失去正義,在孩子眼中看來尤其深刻。本書有兩項驚人成就:不但幫我找到公平且正義的教養之道,也教會我賽局思考的基本原則。不論從家長或老師的觀點,我都愛極了這本書。」

―親子暢銷書作者雷希(Jessica Lahey)

 

「書中實用的雙贏教養技巧,能教導孩子及早理解人性、談判與合作。」

—現代老爸播客

 

「作者把賽局策略平易近人的部分端上檯面,深奧的數學擱一邊。書中案例讓人會心一笑,作者饒富趣味的說明大人如何運用賽局策略,培養懂得分享、誠實與合作的孩子。」

―《科克斯評論》
Paul Raeburn
“I absolutely loved this book, both as a parent and as a nerd.” —Jessica Lahey, author of The Gift of Failure

As every parent knows, kids are surprisingly clever negotiators. But how can we avoid those all-too-familiar wails of “That’s not fair!” and “You can’t make me!”? In The Game Theorist’s Guide to Parenting, the award-winning journalist and father of five Paul Raeburn and the game theorist Kevin Zollman pair up to highlight tactics from the worlds of economics and business that can help parents break the endless cycle of quarrels and ineffective solutions. Raeburn and Zollman show that some of the same strategies successfully applied to big business deals and politics—such as the Prisoner’s Dilemma and the Ultimatum Game—can be used to solve such titanic, age-old parenting problems as dividing up toys, keeping the peace on long car rides, and sticking to homework routines.

Raeburn and Zollman open each chapter with a common parenting dilemma. Then they show how carefully concocted schemes involving bargains and fair incentives can save the day. Through smart case studies of game theory in action, Raeburn and Zollman reveal how parents and children devise strategies, where those strategies go wrong, and what we can do to help raise happy and savvy kids while keeping the rest of the family happy too.

Delightfully witty, refreshingly irreverent, and just a bit Machiavellian, The Game Theorist’s Guide to Parenting looks past the fads to offer advice you can put into action today.

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