Love in a Duck

Australian eBook Publisher
Free sample

 When Davin Grey happens upon a girl in the city, it’s love at first sight. But she’s gone before he can say a word. His only clue to find her is the car she’s driving – a Citroën 2CV (aka a ‘Duck’). With the help of the girl’s 2CV mechanic and a white lie that grows to a few more, Davin manages to woo her. But lies have a tendency to unravel…
Read more
Collapse

About the author

I was born in Sydney, but spent the first ten years of my life in South East Asia. It was a bit tough fitting in at school when I returned and there’s a little bit of personal experience in the development of Davin’s character in this regard.

While school presented challenges, it had its upsides. It was where I met a beautiful girl called Vicki. I liked her a lot. Apparently she liked me. But we were too shy to act on it. At least, I was. I remember enrolling in a Bug Catching class because she was in the class already. Or it could have been the other way around. But you get the drift. We liked each other. Then school finished. She went one way. I went the other.

One of the other important moments in my life was as a teenager finding Mum and Dad’s moth eaten PG Wodehouse novels in damp boxes under the house. I devoured those books, particularly reveling in the exploits of Bertie Wooster and his faithful butler, Jeeves. Wodehouse was a genius. Many years later, I remember giving a girl in my novel class a Wooster/Jeeves book to sample. She came into class the following week and slammed it down on my desk, most annoyed. She told me that she had become a giggling mess on the train in front of a carriage full of stony-faced commuters. Wodehouse will do that to you.

Much later, when a friend read an early version of Love in a Duck, they told me the style was reminiscent of PG Wodehouse. Without knowing that he is my hero, she had paid me the ultimate compliment. It was the stimulus for me to rename Davin’s foe at school as Rod Spode. Fans of PG Wodehouse will know that Sir Roderick Spode is a fascist and an amateur dictator and becomes a nemesis of Bertie Wooster in Jeeves novels where he regularly threatens to beat Bertie into a jelly. I hope Mr Wodehouse would approve of my plagiarism as a nod to the wonderful worlds he created.

It wasn’t until I was nearing the end of university that the girl from the Bug Catching class and I met again as twenty somethings in a large club where we both worked. I still liked her a lot and apparently she still liked me a lot too. Thank god we weren’t too shy to act on it that time.

Vicki and I were married in 1989, went to Europe and fell in love with a Citroen 2CV, came back, moved to Melbourne and have had two Citroen 2CVs since. Oh, and two beautiful girls. And two naughty Jack Russells. And a cat that has no brain.

I work in advertising as a copywriter. I’ve been writing ads since before we were married. A few years ago, I decided I’d like to do some different writing for myself and enrolled in a Short Story course. Some of the stories I wrote are here and one of them ‘Down South’ was lucky enough to be shortlisted in the Commonwealth Short Story competition. Down South explores themes that draw on surfing experiences I’ve had since I was a teenager. Surfing has been, and continues to be, a massive influence on my life, shaping who I have become and how I think.

When I finished the Short Story course, I decided I would keep going with fiction and enrolled in a Novel writing course. I remember announcing my intentions of writing a Comedy Romance in the first lesson and the teacher turning up her nose and telling me I was in the wrong class. “You should have enrolled in Popular Fiction, just down the hall. Never mind, we’ll see how it goes.”

Well, it went slowly. It took nearly seven years to finish ‘Love in a Duck’. Almost killed me. God knows how PG Wodehouse knocked out one a year for nearly sixty years. But like I said, he was a genius.
Read more
Collapse
Loading…

Additional Information

Publisher
Australian eBook Publisher
Read more
Collapse
Published on
Mar 3, 2015
Read more
Collapse
Pages
297
Read more
Collapse
ISBN
9781925271287
Read more
Collapse
Read more
Collapse
Read more
Collapse
Language
English
Read more
Collapse
Genres
Fiction / General
Humor / General
Read more
Collapse
Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
Read more
Collapse
Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
Read more
Collapse
Eligible for Family Library

Reading information

Smartphones and Tablets

Install the Google Play Books app for Android and iPad/iPhone. It syncs automatically with your account and allows you to read online or offline wherever you are.

Laptops and Computers

You can read books purchased on Google Play using your computer's web browser.

eReaders and other devices

To read on e-ink devices like the Sony eReader or Barnes & Noble Nook, you'll need to download a file and transfer it to your device. Please follow the detailed Help center instructions to transfer the files to supported eReaders.
Welcome to Batch Magna, a place where anything might happen. And often does...

Sir Humphrey has offered to play Father Christmas at the local hospital, but disaster strikes when he realises he won’t be able to buy the sack of toys he’d promised the children.

Rupert, a gentleman of the road, is found asleep in an old car in the Hall’s coach house. He is scrubbed up and given a room at the Hall, where two guests are already staying: a businessman and his rather young female companion. When money goes missing from their bedroom, Rupert is accused, and Miss Wyndham, the village’s amateur sleuth, decides to investigate the matter.

Meanwhile, local author Phineas Cook has come up with the idea of a resident ghost at the Hall to attract paying guests. All goes smoothly until the ghostly actors spend too long in the pub one evening and their performance descends into sword-wielding chaos.

As always in Batch Magna, events somehow manage to turn out all right in the end – but in the most unexpected manner...

What readers are saying about The Batch Magna Chronicles series:

“An enchanting mixture of The Wind in The Willows and The Darling Buds of May. An England that doesn’t exist but surely should.”

“Reading this book was like sitting down for a nice long chat with an old friend. I loved reading the Welsh village descriptions; it felt like coming home. ... I eagerly await the next instalment of the Batch Magna crew!”

“I first got this book out of the local library, and then brought a copy – I wanted to read it again and again. It’s a treasure, a smashing read, funny and beautifully written.”

“These books are such fun, darkly comic and full of great characters. ... Batch Magna is a place I would love to find, and the river sounds idyllic.”

“Hurrah for Batch Magna, Humphrey and friends.”

“I loved this book. It’s lyrical and very amusing, with all the charm of an old Ealing comedy. ... More please Mr Maughan!”

“What an amazing writer! I have never found any descriptive writing that has gripped me so much before.”

“A thoroughly enjoyable read. ... Is there another Batch Magna book on the way, please? Such a wonderfully descriptive bucolic and warmly ‘human’ story with echoes of the Darling Buds of May.”

“A wonderful, funny, well-crafted escape from everyday life. If you love writing that absorbs you into the landscape you will love this book. Every sense was satisfied with the author’s beautiful descriptions of the Marches. Escape from the tarmac, concrete and relentlessness of life with this stunning book. Thank you Mr Maughan.”

“I absolutely loved this book and all the characters became so real to me, I just couldn’t put it down.”

“Escape from the madness of life for a short while into the glorious eccentricity of Batch Magna once again, revel in its surroundings, its people, its comings and goings - which, often as bizarre as they are, usually work out for the best.”

“If I had to guess at Peter Maughan's occupation, my bet would be on a weaver and I'll double down on that bet. Only a weaver a.k.a. master story teller can weave together, so magnificently, everything the stories in this chronicle encompasses.”

“The jolly cast of characters, who truly are, in the best English sense, characters, provide humour and a bit of pathos. ... This would be a great book to read sitting in an English garden on a summer’s day.”

Welcome to Batch Magna, a place where anything might happen. And often does...

A hapless gang of crooks, led by pawnbroker Harold Sneed, have managed pull off ‘the big one’: a wages snatch at a factory in Shrewsbury. Two gang members take the money back to Birmingham by train, changing at a station almost on the doorstep of Sir Humphrey of Batch Hall.

It’s there that things start to unravel. The money goes missing. Misunderstanding follows misunderstanding, until it leads the crooks to Batch Hall when everyone is busy with a historical re-enactment show. Among the replica firearms is a real gun, carried by Harold Sneed with murderous intent and Humphrey in mind.

Sneed is now convinced that Humphrey – an overweight former short-order cook from the Bronx – is a Mafia mobster lying low. And on top of this, he believes Humph has his money; as a result, the spectators at Batch Hall are in for more of a show than they bargained for...

What readers are saying about The Batch Magna Chronicles series:

“An enchanting mixture of The Wind in The Willows and The Darling Buds of May. An England that doesn’t exist but surely should.”

“Reading this book was like sitting down for a nice long chat with an old friend. I loved reading the Welsh village descriptions; it felt like coming home. ... I eagerly await the next instalment of the Batch Magna crew!”

“I first got this book out of the local library, and then brought a copy – I wanted to read it again and again. It’s a treasure, a smashing read, funny and beautifully written.”

“These books are such fun, darkly comic and full of great characters. ... Batch Magna is a place I would love to find, and the river sounds idyllic.”

“Hurrah for Batch Magna, Humphrey and friends.”

“I loved this book. It’s lyrical and very amusing, with all the charm of an old Ealing comedy. ... More please Mr Maughan!”

“What an amazing writer! I have never found any descriptive writing that has gripped me so much before.”

“A thoroughly enjoyable read. ... Is there another Batch Magna book on the way, please? Such a wonderfully descriptive bucolic and warmly ‘human’ story with echoes of the Darling Buds of May.”

“A wonderful, funny, well-crafted escape from everyday life. If you love writing that absorbs you into the landscape you will love this book. Every sense was satisfied with the author’s beautiful descriptions of the Marches. Escape from the tarmac, concrete and relentlessness of life with this stunning book. Thank you Mr Maughan.”

“I absolutely loved this book and all the characters became so real to me, I just couldn’t put it down.”

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

“An inspiring story that manages to be painful, honest, shocking, bawdy and hilarious.” —The New York Times Book Review

From stand-up comedian, actress, and breakout star of Girls Trip, Tiffany Haddish, comes The Last Black Unicorn, a sidesplitting, hysterical, edgy, and unflinching collection of (extremely) personal essays, as fearless as the author herself.

Growing up in one of the poorest neighborhoods of South Central Los Angeles, Tiffany learned to survive by making people laugh. If she could do that, then her classmates would let her copy their homework, the other foster kids she lived with wouldn’t beat her up, and she might even get a boyfriend. Or at least she could make enough money—as the paid school mascot and in-demand Bar Mitzvah hype woman—to get her hair and nails done, so then she might get a boyfriend.

None of that worked (and she’s still single), but it allowed Tiffany to imagine a place for herself where she could do something she loved for a living: comedy.

Tiffany can’t avoid being funny—it’s just who she is, whether she’s plotting shocking, jaw-dropping revenge on an ex-boyfriend or learning how to handle her newfound fame despite still having a broke person’s mind-set. Finally poised to become a household name, she recounts with heart and humor how she came from nothing and nowhere to achieve her dreams by owning, sharing, and using her pain to heal others.

By turns hilarious, filthy, and brutally honest, The Last Black Unicorn shows the world who Tiffany Haddish really is—humble, grateful, down-to-earth, and funny as hell. And now, she’s ready to inspire others through the power of laughter.
New York Times bestselling author, superstar comedian, and Hollywood box office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have a “hilarious but also heartfelt” (Elle) memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself.

The question you’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has?

According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear:

A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact.

A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together.

A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning.

It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys.

The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero. But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, J.K. Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes us on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today.

And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion.

He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent. “Hart is an incredibly magnetic storyteller, on the page as he is onstage, and that’s what shines through [in this] genial, entertaining guide to a life in comedy” (Kirkus Reviews).
In Furiously Happy, #1 New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea.

But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best.

As Jenny says:

"Some people might think that being 'furiously happy' is just an excuse to be stupid and irresponsible and invite a herd of kangaroos over to your house without telling your husband first because you suspect he would say no since he's never particularly liked kangaroos. And that would be ridiculous because no one would invite a herd of kangaroos into their house. Two is the limit. I speak from personal experience. My husband says that none is the new limit. I say he should have been clearer about that before I rented all those kangaroos.


"Most of my favorite people are dangerously fucked-up but you'd never guess because we've learned to bare it so honestly that it becomes the new normal. Like John Hughes wrote in The Breakfast Club, 'We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it.' Except go back and cross out the word 'hiding.'"

Furiously Happy is about "taking those moments when things are fine and making them amazing, because those moments are what make us who we are, and they're the same moments we take into battle with us when our brains declare war on our very existence. It's the difference between "surviving life" and "living life". It's the difference between "taking a shower" and "teaching your monkey butler how to shampoo your hair." It's the difference between being "sane" and being "furiously happy."

Lawson is beloved around the world for her inimitable humor and honesty, and in Furiously Happy, she is at her snort-inducing funniest. This is a book about embracing everything that makes us who we are - the beautiful and the flawed - and then using it to find joy in fantastic and outrageous ways. Because as Jenny's mom says, "Maybe 'crazy' isn't so bad after all." Sometimes crazy is just right.
The instant #1 New York Times and USA Today best seller by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, the voices behind the hit podcast My Favorite Murder!

Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation.

In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being ‘nice’ or ‘helpful.’ They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful cultural and societal issues with fierce empathy and unapologetic frankness.

“In many respects, Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered distills the My Favorite Murder podcast into its most essential elements: Georgia and Karen. They lay themselves bare on the page, in all of their neuroses, triumphs, failures, and struggles. From eating disorders to substance abuse and kleptomania to the wonders of therapy, Kilgariff and Hardstark recount their lives with honesty, humor, and compassion, offering their best unqualified life-advice along the way.” —Entertainment Weekly

“Like the podcast, the book offers funny, feminist advice for survival—both in the sense of not getting killed and just, like, getting a job and working through your personal shit so you can pay your bills and have friends.” —Rolling Stone


At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
©2020 GoogleSite Terms of ServicePrivacyDevelopersArtistsAbout Google|Location: United StatesLanguage: English (United States)
By purchasing this item, you are transacting with Google Payments and agreeing to the Google Payments Terms of Service and Privacy Notice.