Two rules of guydom: Don't share feelings with your buddies, and never compliment a pal without insulting him at the same time.
I Love You Man . . . but Not Like That is a humorous collection of sentiments about male friendships that convey everything beer-drinking, sports-loving, macho men may want to say but never will. Most men figure, why share brotherly love when all you really want is for your buddy to share his beer? Its tongue-in-cheek, mock-heartfelt sayings are written the way men really talk.
Some man-to-man expressions of friendship:
* Sure our friendship has passed the test of time, but could it ever pass a Breathalyzer?
* I often think about how much we've gone through together over the years . . . and the fact that most of it was your fault.
* I have to tell you, you've touched me . . . seriously. We were both really drunk, but I have a vague recollection of you touching me.
Witty, emotionally distant, and universal to male friendships, I Love You Man . . . but Not Like That is something every man should give his buddy--if the big loser deserves it.
The creator of Boyfriend-in-a-Box is back with a book that lays down the law, chapter and verse, for female relationships. Friendship between women is sacred. The Girlfriends' Bible is filled with hilarious "scriptures" that women can and do live by. What a divine way to tell your best gal pal how valuable that friendship is.
Women and girlfriends of all ages will find bits of inspirational encouragement on every page:
* "Yea, though you walk through the valley of cracked sidewalks in high heels, do not fear. For I will be there to pick you up when you fall on your ass."
* "When you are heavy laden with PMS poundage, I will take your burden for you and deny thy girth."
* "I shalt not steal your boyfriend, hairdo, or signature color."
* "When you get older, I shall forsake you not. For friends are like wine-the older, the better. You can get equally drunk with old or new wine. But intoxication with old wine is far more pleasurable."
* "If your cup runneth over because your bra is too small and you look like a common whore, I will tell you, just as you would tell me about a visible panty line."
Sweat dries. Blood clots. Bones heal. Suck it up, buttercup.
After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail with other combat veterans—an exchange with friends that would grow into the dedicated Facebook page, “Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said.” But what began as a comedic outlet has evolved into a robust online community and support network that conducts fundraisers for and donates to military charities, has helped veterans struggling with PTSD and other issues, and on numerous occasions, literally saved lives.
Now, Caddy shares more great DS stories—most never before seen—in this humorous collection. Often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining, these rants from real life soldiers are interspersed with lively sidebars, Top 10 lists, stories from fans, one-liners, and more.
For anyone who has suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said will add a much needed dose of humor to the day.