Abraham Lincoln's Lie

Scott Haworth
8
Free sample

A note for conservative readers: Don't read this book.  It's just going to make you mad, and I don't want to make you mad.  I'm a pretty nice guy.  I just wanted to write a silly story to make my liberal friends laugh.  The plot is outlandish, and it's filled with exaggerated stereotypes and crazy descriptions of conservatives that have no basis in reality.  It was not designed to be accurate or to be taken seriously.  Life's too short to get all worked up over this ridiculous book.  If you're a conservative, I implore you to skip this and go read something you'll actually like.  Or turn on the TV and watch a rerun of Seinfeld.  Everybody likes Seinfeld, right?

From the author of the popular Dark Moonlighting series:

Abraham Lincoln once said, "A house divided against itself cannot stand."
Senator Nick Bennett believes that it should not stand. Disgusted with partisan
politics, Nick calls for America to be split up by political ideology. The idea
of living in separate utopias is wildly popular with Americans. The blue states
form the Progressive States of America and the red states create the United
States of Ronald Reagan. The two new governments are free to address foreign
relations, economic policies and social laws without the interference of an
opposition party.

While the P.S.A. thrives, the U.S.R.R. is crippled by
the inanity of its conservative ideology. A generation of its citizens receives
a terrible education and loses the right to privacy. Many are killed either by
an abhorrent health care system or the preemptive wars their government starts.
The dreadful conditions inside the U.S.R.R. enrage the conservative citizens.
Revolution seems inevitable, and the conflict threatens to engulf the liberal
country as well.

Abraham Lincoln's Lie contains political and social
satire and is intended for a liberal audience.  The novel takes a humorous look
at how fiercely debated ideas could actually be implemented by the two
ideologies.

 

Keywords: civil rights, dystopian, liberal, dark comedy, humor, satire, American

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About the author

Scott was born in the wagon of a traveling show. His Momma used to dance for the money they'd throw. Pappa would do whatever he could... Well, not really. That would have been a lot more interesting though. He was actually born in the suburbs of Cleveland.

 

After existing for several more decades, Scott graduated from college in 2004 with a degree in history and political science. Six months later he decided he wanted to be a writer, which made the degree largely worthless. Oops.

 

Scott has written many novels in genres ranging from science fiction to political satire. He tried combining the two genres once, but he didn't think anyone would be interested in a sex scandal involving the President of Blargon 7.

 

When not writing, he enjoys being asleep.

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4.2
8 total
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Additional Information

Publisher
Scott Haworth
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Published on
Nov 16, 2013
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Pages
184
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ISBN
9781490391748
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Humorous
Fiction / Satire
Humor / General
Humor / Topic / Political
Political Science / Political Ideologies / General
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Content Protection
This content is DRM free.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

Reading information

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This boxed set contains the first three novels of the
humorous Dark Moonlighting series in one convenient file.  The bundle contains Dark Moonlighting, Dark
Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control and Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark
Moonlighting Hard for one low price.



 



Description for the first book in the series:



 



Nick Whittier, having been alive for six centuries, has had
plenty of time to master three professions. In a typical week he works as a
police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and
drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he
restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in
Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers,
pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick’s
three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives
in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in
his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his
terrible secret.



 



Dark Moonlighting is the first book in the humorous
series.  It explores four of the biggest
clichés in popular culture, and it pokes fun at a number of popular television
shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more
realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliché. For example, the average
human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick
takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must
immediately urinate afterwards.

 

The Dark Moonlighting Series:

Dark Moonlighting
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control
Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard
Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales
Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo

 

 

Keywords: vampires,
american, bundle, humor, werewolves, World War II, dark comedy



Collected here in this 4-in-1 omnibus are the most important books ever written on the art of war. The Art of War By Sun Tzu translated and commented on by Lionel Giles, On War by Carl von Clausewitz, The Art of War by Niccolò Machiavelli, and The Art of War by Baron De Jomini. These four books will give you as complete a view on the art of war as you can attain. This is the most important book ever written about warfare and conflict. Lionel Giles' translation is the definitive edition and his commentary is indispensable. The Art of War can be used and adapted in every facet of your life. This book explains when and how to go to war, as well as when not to. Learn how to win any conflict whether it be on the battlefield or in the boardroom. Although Carl von Clausewitz participated in many military campaigns, he was primarily a military theorist interested in the examination of war. On War is the West's premier work on the philosophy of war. Other soldiers before him had written treatises on various military subjects, but none undertook a great philosophical examination of war on the scale of Clausewitz's. On War is considered to be the first modern book of military strategy. This is due mainly to Clausewitz' integration of political, social, and economic issues as some of the most important factors in deciding the outcomes of a war. It is one of the most important treatises on strategy ever written, and continues to be required reading at many military academies. Niccolo Machiavelli considered this book his greatest achievement. Here you will learn how to recruit, train, motivate, and discipline an army. You will learn the difference between strategy and tactics. Machiavelli does a masterful job of breaking down and analyzing historic battles. This book of military knowledge belongs alongside Sun-Tzu and Clausewitz on every book shelf. Antoine-Henri Jomini was the most celebrated writer on the Napoleonic art of war. Jomini was present at most of the most important battles of the Napoleonic Wars. His writing, therefore, is the most authoritative on the subject. "The art of war, as generally considered, consists of five purely military branches,-viz.: Strategy, Grand Tactics, Logistics, Engineering, and Tactics. A sixth and essential branch, hitherto unrecognized, might be termed Diplomacy in its relation to War. Although this branch is more naturally and intimately connected with the profession of a statesman than with that of a soldier, it cannot be denied that, if it be useless to a subordinate general, it is indispensable to every general commanding an army." -Antoine-Henri Jomini
Nick Whittier, the lovable vampire who has killed over 30,000
people, is back! He writes his latest tale from inside a shack in Montana where
he is hiding out from the authorities who are hunting him. Who was really
responsible for ruining his life in Starside, Illinois? Nick has uncovered the
truth… but he is not going to discuss it until after he tells the story of how
he killed Adolf Hitler.

Since he only feeds on terrible human beings,
Nick often had a hard time finding victims over the years. World War Two was the
worst military conflict in history, but for Nick it was a vacation. He happily
gorges himself on the despicable people who are goose-stepping all over Europe.
While the lesser Nazis are delicious, Nick’s ultimate goal is to drain the blood
out of Hitler, the worst human being who has ever lived. He gets distracted from
his hunt when he learns that the Nazis are developing a secret weapons program
that could turn the tide of the war. Nick reluctantly decides to intervene to
disrupt the program with the help of a young werewolf named Chuck Kruse.


Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control is the second book in the humorous
Dark Moonlighting series. While book one highlighted Nick’s work as a doctor,
lawyer and cop, book two tells about his career as a Nazi hunter. It explores
war clichés and pokes fun at modern hits like Captain America and Band of
Brothers in addition to classics like Hogan’s Heroes and Indiana Jones. It also
examines more vampire clichés as Nick tells about his early years as a creature
of the night in the 14th century.
 
The Dark Moonlighting Series:

Dark Moonlighting
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control
Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard
Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales
Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo
 
Keywords: vampires, werewolves, suspense, military, paranormal, comedy, satire
Nick Whittier, having been alive for six centuries, has had plenty of time to master three professions. In a typical week he works as a police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers, pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick's three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his terrible secret.

Dark Moonlighting is the first book in the humorous series.  It explores four of the biggest clichés in popular culture, and it pokes fun at a number of popular television shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliché. For example, the average human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must immediately urinate afterwards.

 

The Dark Moonlighting Series:

Dark Moonlighting
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control
Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard
Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales
Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo

 

Keywords: vampires, american, satire, humor, werewolves, supernatural, dark comedy, funny, comedy, paranormal

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