You come for the sand, and you leave with the crabs. That warning would have been helpful if it had been given to Snowden Wright before he decided to spend a few months living at the beach. Written in discrete vignettes that coalesce into a single narrative arc, "How to Get the Crabs" explores the virtue of narrative itself, how sometimes recounting events can be more edifying than living them. Wright undergoes travails that include a weekend getaway at an expensive hotel, the loss of his virginity, and a torturous but redemptive encounter with pubic lice. Those stories and others combine to provide a unique answer to the question, "Is something bugging you?"