America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't

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Book store nation, in the history of mankind there has never been a greater country than America. You could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at greatness.

But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around--we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders. Worse, the L.A. Four Seasons Hotel doesn't even have a dedicated phone button for the Spa. You have to dial an extension! Where did we lose our way?!

It's high time we restored America to the greatness it never lost!

Luckily, AMERICA AGAIN will singlebookedly pull this country back from the brink. It features everything from chapters, to page numbers, to fonts. Covering subject's ranging from healthcare ("I shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety of prescription drugs to treat our maladies, such as think-shuddering") to the economy ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the Chinese to make our lemon-flavored leadonade") to food ("Feel free to deep fry this book-it's a rich source of fiber"), Stephen gives America the dose of truth it needs to get back on track.
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Additional Information

Publisher
Grand Central Publishing
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Published on
Oct 2, 2012
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Pages
240
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ISBN
9780446583985
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Language
English
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Genres
Humor / Topic / Politics
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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Famous for his delectably dry humor, Senator Bob Dole brings us the ultimate bipartisan book: some of his favorite witticisms, hilarious remarks, and wry observations of the great political figures of this century.

Bob Dole's political career may not have taken him to the White House, but he did pick up some great stories along the way. In this delightful collection, the longtime United States senator shares his favorite anecdotes, witticisms, and reminiscences.

From the campaign trail to the Oval Office, from smoked-filled rooms to the chambers of the Capitol, Bob Dole surveys a century of political wit. There are bon mots from Calvin Coolidge, Winston Churchill, Harry Truman, John F.  Kennedy, and a host of other political figures. Bob Dole introduces each section with mirthful moments from his own experience, displaying the gift for wry humor that has made him such a favorite guest on late-night talk shows.

A jovial--and completely bipartisan--compendium, Great Political Wit is a connoisseur's selection of political repartee at its best.

Great Political Wit will have readers rolling on both sides of the aisle.


Bob Dole is recognized as one of the nation's most prominent political figures of the twentieth century. Known for his effectiveness as a consensus builder in his thirty-five years in Congress, Senator Dole was the longest-serving Republican leader in Senate history. He was also chairman of the Republican National Committee, the 1976 Republican nominee for vice president, and the 1996 Republican nominee for president. He is currently serving as the chairman of the World War II Memorial campaign and as chairman of the International Commission on Missing Persons in Bosnia. Wounded in World War II, Senator Dole was awarded two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star. He is married to Elizabeth Hanford Dole, president of the American Red Cross, and lives in Washington, D.C.
Writings from the old-school Republican and New York Times–bestselling author of How the Hell Did This Happen?: “Hilarious” (Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking).
 
In this collection of pieces, the outrageous political satirist renowned for such classics as Parliament of Whores takes on a wide range of cultural and political issues, and explains the platform of the Republican Party Reptile: “I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws . . . busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes . . . all tiny Third World countries that don’t have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don’t find out), a sound dollar . . . and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country . . . well, a real bad hangover.”
 
“To say that P. J. O’Rourke is funny is like saying the Rocky Mountains are scenic—accurate but insufficient. At his best he’s downright exhilarating . . . Republican Party Reptile is as rambunctiously entertaining as a greased pig catching contest. If you can find a funnier writer than P. J. O’Rourke, buy him a brandy, but don’t lend him the keys to your pickup.” —Chicago Tribune
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