The Buddha at My Table: How I Found Peace in Betrayal and Divorce

She Writes Press
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Can you come sit at the table? Tammy Letherer’s husband of twelve years spoke these words on a Tuesday night, just before Christmas, after he had put their three children in bed. He had a piece of paper and two fingers of scotch in front of him. As he read from the list in his hand, his next words would shatter her world and destroy every assumption she'd ever made about love, friendship, and faithfulness.
In The Buddha at My Table, Letherer describes―in honest, sometimes painful detail―the dismantling of a marriage that encompasses the ordinary and the surreal, including the night she finds a silent, smiling Thai monk sitting at the same dining room table. It’s this unexpected visitation, this personification of peace, that sticks with her as she listens to her husband reveal hurtful, shocking things―that he never loved her, he doesn’t believe in monogamy, and he wants to “wrap things up” with her in four weeks―and allows her to find the blessing in her husband’s betrayal. Ultimately, it’s when she realizes that she is participating in her life, not at its mercy, that she discovers the path to freedom.
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About the author

Tammy Letherer is a writing coach, blogger, and author of the novel Hello Loved Ones. She lives in Chicago with her three children and enjoys yoga, swing dancing, reading a good novel, Earl Grey tea, and spending time outdoors. Read her blogs about creativity, spirituality, and the writing life on the Huffington Post or visit her at TammyLetherer.com.

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Additional Information

Publisher
She Writes Press
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Published on
Oct 16, 2018
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Pages
262
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ISBN
9781631524264
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Language
English
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Genres
Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoirs
Body, Mind & Spirit / Inspiration & Personal Growth
Family & Relationships / Divorce & Separation
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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“I feel like I’ve joined an enormous club, something like the Veterans of Foreign Wars. We are weary with battle fatigue and sometimes even gripped by nostalgia for the good old, bad old days, but our numbers are large,” writes Theo Pauline Nestor in this wry, fiercely honest chronicle of life after divorce.

Less than an hour after confronting her husband over his massive gambling losses, Theo banishes him from their home forever. With two young daughters to support and her life as a stay-at-home mother at an abrupt end, Nestor finds herself slipping from “middle-class grace” as she attends a court-ordered custody class, stumbles through job interviews, and–much to her surprise–falls in love once again. As Theo rebuilds her life and recovers her sense of self, she’s forced to confront her own family’s legacy of divorce. “I’m from a long line of stock market speculators, artists of unmarketable talents, and alcoholics,” writes Nestor. “The higher, harder road is not our road. We move, we divorce, we drink, or we disappear.”

Nestor’s journey takes her deep into her family’s past, to a tiny village in Mexico, where she discovers the truth about how her sister ended up living in a convent there after their parents divorced in the early sixties. What she learns ultimately brings her closer to understanding her own divorce and its impact on her two daughters. “I knew from experience that for children divorce means half the world is constantly eclipsed. When you’re with one parent, the other must always slip out of view,” Nestor writes.

Funny, openhearted, and brave, How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed will speak to anyone who has passed through the halls of divorce court or risked tenderness after loss. It marks the debut of an enchanting, deeply truthful voice.
There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken, and starting right here, right now, it’s time to dry your tears, put down that pint of ice cream, log out of his email, and open this book to chapter one—and start turning your breakup into a breakover.

From Greg Behrendt, coauthor of the smash, two-million-copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You, comes It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken—the ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “He-tox” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, Greg and his coauthor and wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. You will learn:

Why you shouldn’t call him—and what he’s thinking when you do
How to keep your friends and not lose your job
How to avoid breakup pitfalls: IM-ing, stalking, having sex with your ex
Reframing reality—seeing the relationship for what it was
How to transform yourself into a hot, happening Superfox and get a jump on the better, brighter future that awaits

Complete with an essential workbook to help you put the crazy down on paper and not take it out into the world, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken is a must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you.
Written by a man with extensive experience on the topic, Beyond the Breakup explains how men think about breakups, their ex-girlfriend, and how they perceive her behavior in the wake of a relationship's end. It also explains the implications this has for girls who are going through a breakup: what will and won't have an emotional effect on him, how to maximize your chances of getting him back, how and when you should contact him, what you should (and shouldn't) say, how to deal with seeing him again, and much more. The list of the chapter titles below give a good overview of the content. 

This book is not written for women with a weak spirit. It isn’t going to tell you how to mitigate the pain you feel in the wake of a breakup, and it isn’t going to tell you that everything is going to be fine. And while it will tell you how to maximize your chances of getting your ex back, it isn’t going to pretend that there are any ‘tricks’ to make that outcome likely. However, it will do something much more important: it will give you a strong insight into your ex’s state of mind and male psychology in general. This will give you the foundation you need to navigate the breakup and – more importantly – propel yourself into honest and successful relationships with the men in your future. 

Chapter List: 

Introduction 

PART I – UNDERSTANDING WHAT HAPPENED 

Men Don’t Fall in Love the Same Way Women Do
The Analogy Between Sex and Commitment
Why This Always Happens to You
Changing Your Perspective
Why You Didn’t See It Coming
Men Don’t Have “Commitment Problems”
The Difference Between Liking You and Liking You Enough
Why Men “Fade Out”
You Weren’t Dating Him in the First Place
The Small Things Didn’t Matter Anyway
Why Your Ex (Who Dumped You) Is Still Contacting You
Your Ex and Guilt
Your Ex and Pride
Your Ex and Decisiveness
Interpreting His Emotions
What’s Going Through His Mind

PART II – HOW TO HANDLE THE BREAKUP 

The Importance of Silence after a Breakup
No, You Can’t Be “Just Friends”
How to Know If You Should Cut Him Off
Why It’s Never Too Late
Why You Should Tell Him That You Are Cutting Him Off
What to Say
Managing Your Expectations
When You Should Fight to Save Your Relationship
Exceptions to the Rule
How to Know If You Should Dump Him First
When He Cheats
The Anatomy of Missing Him

PART III – FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH THE BREAKUP 

Making Him Jealous Doesn’t Work
Seeing Him at Work
Being Connected with Your Ex on Social Media
Returning His Things and Getting Yours Back
What to Do When He Contacts You
When He Says He Wants Another Chance
Reason and Distraction
Stop Sleeping with Your Ex to Prove He Likes You

PART IV – MOVING ON AND REBUILDING 

You Are Responsible for Your Own Romantic Happiness
Stop Letting Him Waste Your Time
Know Why You Want Him Back
Why Getting Him Back Won’t Help
Why Getting Dumped Is a Good Thing
The Importance of Emotional Honesty
Dating Again
Putting the Breakup in Perspective
When You Can Contact Him Again
Reframing the Future

A Final Word
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