L'histoire bouleversante d'une petite fille face à l'inceste et à la trahison... Stupéfiant. Daily Mirror
Cet ouvrage édifiant est le témoignage de l'extraordinaire courage de Toni Maguire. Closer Magazine
Toni Maguire, author of Don't Tell Mummy, takes up the story of her tragic childhood where she left off, revealing the awful truth about what happened when her father, sent to jail for abusing her, was released, and came home...
Toni Maguire's father abused her from the age of six, and was only found out when Toni fell pregnant, losing the child from a botched abortion. Called to her father's trial. she gave the damning evidence that put him away, and hoped that with his influence banished, she and her mother could have a happy, idyllic life once more. But her mother was unable to face the truth of what her husband had perpetrated on their daughter, and waited patiently for his return.
One day, two years later, Toni walked in to find her dreaded father sitting in the living room, on day release from prison. Toni knew then she had to leave, but stayed with her mother for another two years, desperately hoping her mother would choose Toni's wellbeing over that of her father. Yet when Joe Maguire was released, Toni was despatched to collect him from the station, and from the moment he re-entered the house she knew nothing had changed in his desires, although the threat of imprisonment was enough to prevent him from acting on them. Toni was forced to leave her home, and her mother made it known she was no longer welcome.
Traumatised and alone, Toni was unable to cope, and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, sinking deeper into despair every day, finally being transferred to the dead-end ward with hope of recovery abandoned. But paradoxically it was when all hope seemed gone that Toni slowly began to improve, by sheer force of indomitable will – but the ultimate step occurred when she finally admitted to herself that her mother, whom she wanted so desperately to love her, had known all along what her father had done.
The first time her father made an improper advance on Toni, she was six years old. Her father warned her not to tell her mother, or anyone else, because they would blame her and wouldn't love her any more. It had to remain ‘our secret.’
When she finally built up the courage to tell her mother what had happened, she was told never to speak of the matter again. With no one to turn to, isolated and alone in rural Ireland, the abuse continued unhindered.
At fourteen Toni fell pregnant by her father, and when her state was discovered she was made to have a late abortion which almost killed her. The truth of her childhood could no longer be kept hidden but, just as her father predicted, Toni found herself judged and rejected by her family, teachers and friends. The blame and anger she was treated with only worsened when her father was sent to prison as a result of his actions. This is the compelling story of her struggle to put the ghost of her childhood to rest, and emerge ultimately triumphant.
In a simple and honest style, Maguire reveals how the effects of her unique memories moved her life in an unexpected direction and motivated her to separate from her husband when she was in her twenties and move to Nashville, Tennessee, where she would try to achieve musical success in what is often times an unforgiving and difficult industry. Always believing she was born to serve a special purpose, Maguire offers an introspective glimpse into her life’s journey as she recognizes her imperfections, learns to forgive herself for her mistakes, and grows within in order to find her purpose in life.
Memories of the Light shares a universal message coupled with the true story of one woman’s spiritual pilgrimage that allows others to imagine life in a new and different way.