I'm Fine...And Other Lies

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“Whitney Cummings has written a book about being, well, not fine—and what to do when you find yourself with brutal anxiety and a co-dependency disorder; all in her trademark wit, humor, and honesty. This book, however, is fine as hell.”—Sophia Amoruso, author of #Girlboss

“The funniest cry for help you'll read this year.”—BJ Novak

Well, well, well. Look at you, ogling my book page....I presume if you’re reading this it means you either need more encouragement to buy it or we used to date and you’re trying to figure out if you should sue me or not.
 
Here are all the stories and mistakes I’ve made that were way too embarrassing to tell on stage in front of an actual audience; but thanks to not-so-modern technology, you can read about them here so I don’t have to risk having your judgmental eye contact crush my self-esteem. This book contains some delicious schadenfreude in which I recall such humiliating debacles as breaking my shoulder while trying to impress a guy, coming very close to spending my life in a Guatemalan prison, and having my lacerated ear sewn back on by a deaf guy after losing it in a torrid love affair. In addition to hoarding mortifying situations that’ll make you feel way better about your choices, I’ve also accumulated a lot of knowledge from therapists, psychotherapists, and psychopaths, which can probably help you avoid making the same mistakes I’ve made. Think of this book as everything you’d want from the Internet all in one place, except without the constant distractions of ads, online shopping, and porn.
 
I’m not sure what else to say to say, except that you should buy it if you want to laugh and learn how to stop being crazy. And if we used to date, see you in court.
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About the author

Whitney Cummings is a Los Angeles–based comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. Best known for creating and starring in the NBC series Whitney, Whitney is also co-creator and co-writer of the Emmy-nominated CBS comedy series 2 Broke Girls. She has appeared in multiple television shows and films, and has performed in stand-up specials for both HBO and Comedy Central, one of which was nominated for an American Comedy Award. Up next for Whitney is her film directorial debut, a movie based on the book The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine.
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Additional Information

Publisher
Penguin
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Published on
Oct 3, 2017
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Pages
288
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ISBN
9780735212626
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Language
English
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Genres
Biography & Autobiography / Entertainment & Performing Arts
Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoirs
Humor / Form / Essays
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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The first memoir by beloved comedian, actor, and writer Brian Posehn, hilariously detailing what it's like to grow up as and remain a nerd, with a foreword by Patton Oswalt

Brian Posehn is a successful and instantly recognizable comedian, actor, and writer. He also happens to be a giant nerd. That's partly because he's been obsessed with such things as Dungeons & Dragons, comic books, and heavy metal since he was a child; the other part is because he fills out every bit of his 6'7'' frame. Brian's always felt awkward and like a perpetual outsider, but he found his way through the difficulties of growing up by escaping into the worlds of Star Wars, D&D, and comics, and by rocking his face off. He was a nerd long before it was cool (and that didn't help his situation much), but his passions proved time and again to be the safe haven he needed to persevere and thrive in a world in which he was far from comfortable.

Brian, now balls deep in middle age with a wife, child, and thriving career, still feels like an outsider and is as big a nerd as ever. But that's okay, because in his five decades of nerdom he's discovered that the key to happiness is not growing up. You can be a nerd forever and find success that way. because somehow along the way the nerds won.

Forever Nerdy is a celebration of growing up nerdy and different. This isn't Brian's life story, just some bizarre and hilarious stories from his life, along with a captivating look back at nearly fifty years of nerd culture. Being a nerd hasn't always been easy, but somehow this self-hating nerd who suffered from depression was able to land his dream job, get the girl, and learn to fit in. Kind of. See how he did it while managing to remain forever nerdy.
Comedian and star of The Office and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Ellie Kemper delivers a hilarious, refreshing, and inspiring collection of essays “teeming with energy and full of laugh-out-loud moments” (Associated Press).

“A pleasure. Ellie Kemper is the kind of stable, intelligent, funny, healthy woman that usually only exists in yogurt commercials. But she’s real and she’s all ours!” —Tina Fey

“Ellie is a hilarious and talented writer, although we’ll never know how much of this book the squirrel wrote.”—Mindy Kaling

Meet Ellie, the best-intentioned redhead next door. You’ll laugh right alongside her as she shares tales of her childhood in St. Louis, whether directing and also starring in her family holiday pageant, washing her dad’s car with a Brillo pad, failing to become friends with a plump squirrel in her backyard, eating her feelings while watching PG-13 movies, or becoming a “sports monster” who ends up warming the bench of her Division 1 field hockey team in college.

You’ll learn how she found her comedic calling in the world of improv, became a wife, mother and New Yorker, and landed the role of a bridesmaid (while simultaneously being a bridesmaid) in Bridesmaids. You’ll get to know and love the comic, upbeat, perpetually polite actress playing Erin Hannon on The Office, and the exuberant, pink-pants-wearing star of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

If you’ve ever been curious about what happens behind the scenes of your favorite shows, what it really takes to be a soul cycle “warrior,” how to recover if you accidentally fall on Doris Kearns Goodwin or tell Tina Fey on meeting her for the first time that she has “great hair—really strong and thick,” this is your chance to find out. But it’s also a laugh-out-loud primer on how to keep a positive outlook in a world gone mad and how not to give up on your dreams. Ellie “dives fully into each role—as actor, comedian, writer, and also wife and new mom—with an electric dedication, by which one learns to reframe the picture, and if not exactly become a glass-half-full sort of person, at least become able to appreciate them” (Vogue.com).
From the break-out star of BuzzFeed comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful and humiliating moments from his life so far, proving “the mantra of his life and career: being a human is hard work, so you may as well make your story funny when you can” (Bustle).

Matt Bellassai has no idea what he’s doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially acceptable—nay—professional alcoholic. He’s got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.

This is Matt’s book. Just to clarify, though, it is absolutely not a memoir; Matt is far too young to have done anything worth remembering (though he did win an actual People’s Choice Award for his BuzzFeed web series, “Whine About It,” which is pretty good, if you ask his mother). This is also most certainly not a book of advice; he is too woefully ill-prepared for life to offer anything in the way of counsel. Call this a collection of awful moments that led to his grumbling, blundering adulthood—a chronicle of little indignities that, when taken together, amount to a life of hilarious anguish.

With keen wit and plenty of self-deprecation, Matt reveals how hard it is to shed his past as the Midwest’s biggest nerd, and how he came out to his friends and family (the closet was a bit messy). Matt also wrestles with the humiliations of adulthood, like giving up on love in New York City, and combating the inner voice that tells him to say aloud all the things the rest of us are smart enough to keep to ourselves.

You probably don’t need this book, but let’s be honest—you do. Since you’re already reading, you might as well pull up a chair, grab your glass(es) of wine, and enjoy.
A collection of poignant, relatable essays from the author of Never Have I Ever about coming out in her late twenties, entering into her first relationship, and figuring out what it means to be an adult.

When Katie Heaney published her first book of essays, chronicling her singledom up to age twenty-five, she was still waiting to meet the right guy. Three years later, a lot changed. For one thing, she met the right girl.
        
Here, for the first time, Katie opens up about realizing at the age of twenty-eight that she is gay. In these poignant, funny essays, she wrestles with her shifting sexuality and identity, and describes what it was like coming out to everyone she knows (and everyone she doesn’t). As she revisits her past, looking for any “clues” that might have predicted this outcome, Katie reveals that life doesn’t always move directly from point A to point B—no matter how much we would like it to.

In a warm and relatable voice, Katie tackles everything from the trials of dating in New York City to the growing pains of her first relationship, from obsessing over Harry Styles (because, actually, he does look a bit like a lesbian) to learning to accept herself all over again. Exploring love and sexuality with her neurotic wit and endearing intimacy, Katie Heaney shares the message that it’s never too late to find love–or yourself.

Praise for Would You Rather?

“[Katie] Heaney’s not afraid to examine her past for ‘clues’ to what she realizes is her truth in the present, and reflects on her changing identity with honesty and wit.”—NYLON
 
“An honest, endearing, and laugh-out-loud account of coming to terms with one’s sexual identity.”—W Magazine

“Would You Rather? is an extraordinarily generous and affecting book. Katie Heaney has written something with a remarkable amount of room in it—enough for anyone to spread out and connect with. It’s deeply felt, clear-eyed, joyful, and illuminating.”—Mallory Ortberg, author of Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters
 
“Whether you’re single or in a relationship, whether you’re queer, straight, or questioning, whether or not you’re partial to Harry Styles—you will discover something relatable and self-affirming in this honest, heartfelt, hilarious memoir.”—Camille Perri, author of The Assistants
A "fascinating" (MetroSource) collection of uncensored, confessional, and at times outrageously funny essays about coming of age, coming out, and the wildest experiences that define us.

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In these jaw-dropping stories, edited and introduced by RISK! host Kevin Allison, writers reveal how they pushed drugs for a Mexican cartel only to end up kidnapped and nearly killed, how they joined a terrifying male-empowerment cult and fought desperately for a way out, how they struggled with pregnancy complications and found a hero where they least expected it, and so much more. A lifelong construction worker shares the intimate details of transitioning to being a woman, a bestselling author discusses how he assumed the identity of his babysitter online in a social experiment gone awry, and a beloved comedian discusses how a blow job from a prostitute changed his life. By turns cautionary and inspiring, RISK! presents an extraordinary panorama of the breadth of human experience and a stunning tribute to the power of the truth to set us free.

Featuring essays by:
Aisha TylerA.J. JacobsMichael Ian BlackMarc MaronLili TaylorDan SavagePaul F. Tompkins
TS MadisonJonah RayAnd many more!

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