I Only Roast the Ones I Love: Busting Balls Without Burning Bridges

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Jeffrey Ross is one of the world’s most foremost practitioners of insult comedy. Having escaped from his family’s kosher catering business, he spent years in the comedy circuit and mastered his craft of delivering hilarious and often offensive insults. Mixing silliness and sincerity, Ross explains the overall history of the roast and explains the art of delivering a stream of “festive abuse” while eliciting laughs. Taking readers on an entertaining journey through his own career, he shares roasts straight from the Friar’s Club and the ever popular Comedy Central television events and provides a narrative of his favorite roasts of friends and family, including:

Flava Flav: “You really are the ugliest man in America. I mean, how do you roast charcoal?” William Shatner: “Man, you have really let yourself boldly go. If Scotty tried to beam you up now you’ d break the f*n’ transporter.” Courtney Love: “Courtney Love, you’re like the girl next door…if you happen to live next to a Methadone clinic.”

Featuring tips on timing, what’s going too far, and dealing with hecklers, Ross shows readers how to channel their inner roastmaster—and emphasizes the all-important Friars’ Club motto: We only roast the ones we love.
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About the author

Jeffrey Ross is the current New York Friars’ Club Roastmaster General and was a roaster for Comedy Central’s Roast of Pamela Anderson in 2005. Ross has appeared on television shows, such as The Late Show with David Letterman, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and many others. He’s also a regular on The Opie and Anthony Show and has also appeared on HBO’s Six Feet Under and Showtime’s Weeds. In film, he has appeared in Stuck on You and The Aristocrats. His first hour-long Comedy Central special No Offense: Life from New Jersey aired August 2008. Jeffrey Ross, the meanest man in comedy and “one man verbal assault unit” (MTV), offers anecdotes and deconstructs the makings of a great roast—based on his own career as the Friars’ Club Roastmaster General. 21
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Additional Information

Publisher
Simon and Schuster
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Published on
Sep 15, 2009
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Pages
304
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ISBN
9781439164204
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Features
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Language
English
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Genres
Biography & Autobiography / Entertainment & Performing Arts
Humor / Form / Essays
Humor / General
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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Many people consider Canada, particularly in comparison to its southern cousin, as a "peaceable kingdom." However, as the historical record demonstrates, Canadians have never been a thoroughly non-violent people. Violence in Canada highlights from an interdisciplinary perspective the major areas and contexts where violence takes place.Consisting of thirteen contributions, the book forms an indispensable guide to the subject. All of the authors are experts in their field, many with international reputations, and are drawn from the fields of sociology, political science, history, and criminology. The foreword by Ted Robert Gurr, author of Violence in America, is followed by an historical analysis of violence on the Canadian western frontier. Other scholars describe contemporary violence: by and against indigenous peoples, women, children, and the elderly; in labor-related disputes; homicide; police and prison violence; terrorism; and discuss government responses and policy implications. Each chapter specifically addresses the sociological and political dimensions of violence. The authors make ample use of statistics and empirical research. Jeffrey Ian Ross's introduction outlines the sociopolitical dynamics of violence, and his summary chapter offers directions for future research. When the book was first published in 1995 it was widely praised by scholarly journals and has since become a standard text in the study of violence and modern Canadian cultural studies.The book is all the more valuable as its new introduction places its findings in the context of research that has been produced since the original publication. Violence in Canada will be of interest to sociologists, criminologists, and political scientists.Jeffrey Ian Ross is an associate professor in the Division of Criminology, Criminal Justice and Social Policy and fellow with the Center for Comparative and International Law, University of Baltimore. His work has appeared in many academic journals and chapters in academic texts, as well as articles in popular magazines in Canada and the United States. He is the author, co-author, editor, or co-editor of eight books.Ted Robert Gurr is Distinguished University Professor at the University of Maryland. Among his books are Why Men Rebel and Violence in America.
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The compelling, inspiring, and comically sublime story of one man’s coming-of-age, set during the twilight of apartheid and the tumultuous days of freedom that followed

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY
Michiko Kakutani, New York Times • Newsday • Esquire • NPR • Booklist

Trevor Noah’s unlikely path from apartheid South Africa to the desk of The Daily Show began with a criminal act: his birth. Trevor was born to a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents’ indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the earliest years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, steal him away. Finally liberated by the end of South Africa’s tyrannical white rule, Trevor and his mother set forth on a grand adventure, living openly and freely and embracing the opportunities won by a centuries-long struggle.

Born a Crime is the story of a mischievous young boy who grows into a restless young man as he struggles to find himself in a world where he was never supposed to exist. It is also the story of that young man’s relationship with his fearless, rebellious, and fervently religious mother—his teammate, a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence, and abuse that would ultimately threaten her own life.

The stories collected here are by turns hilarious, dramatic, and deeply affecting. Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Trevor illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a moving and searingly funny portrait of a boy making his way through a damaged world in a dangerous time, armed only with a keen sense of humor and a mother’s unconventional, unconditional love.

Praise for Born a Crime

 “[A] compelling new memoir . . . By turns alarming, sad and funny, [Trevor Noah’s] book provides a harrowing look, through the prism of Mr. Noah’s family, at life in South Africa under apartheid. . . . Born a Crime is not just an unnerving account of growing up in South Africa under apartheid, but a love letter to the author’s remarkable mother.”—Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times

“[An] unforgettable memoir.”—Parade

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“[Noah] thrives with the help of his astonishingly fearless mother. . . . Their fierce bond makes this story soar.”—People

“[Noah’s] electrifying memoir sparkles with funny stories . . . and his candid and compassionate essays deepen our perception of the complexities of race, gender, and class.”—Booklist (starred review)

“A gritty memoir . . . studded with insight and provocative social criticism . . . with flashes of brilliant storytelling and acute observations.”—Kirkus Reviews
Academic research on state crime has focused on the illegal actions of individuals and organizations (i.e., syndicates and corporations). Interchangeably labeled governmental crime, delinquency, illegality, or lawlessness, official deviance and misconduct, crimes of obedience, and human rights violations, state crime has largely been considered in relation to insurgent violence or threats to national security. Generally, it has been seen as a phenomenon endemic to authoritarian countries in transitional and lesser developed contexts. We need look no further than today's headlines to see the evidence of state crime. Rwanda, where government troops massacred countless Hutus and Tutsis, governmental atrocities in Kosovo, at the hands of the Yugoslavian Army, and East Timor where both individuals and property have been decimated, largely perpetrated by the Indonesian military.The study of how to control state crime has been difficult. There are definitional, conceptual, theoretical, and methodological problems, as well as difficulties in designing of practical methods to abolish, combat, control or resist this type of behavior. Jeffrey Ian Ross reviews these shortcomings, then develops a preliminary model of ways to control state crime. His intention is stimulating scholarly research and debate, but also encouraging progressive-minded policymakers and practitioners who work for governmental and nongovernmental organizations. The hope is that they will reflect upon the methods they advocate or use to minimize state transgressions. This new edition will be of compelling interest to students of political science and criminology, as well as general readers interested in human rights, state crime, and world affairs.
Many people consider Canada, particularly in comparison to its southern cousin, as a "peaceable kingdom." However, as the historical record demonstrates, Canadians have never been a thoroughly non-violent people. Violence in Canada highlights from an interdisciplinary perspective the major areas and contexts where violence takes place.Consisting of thirteen contributions, the book forms an indispensable guide to the subject. All of the authors are experts in their field, many with international reputations, and are drawn from the fields of sociology, political science, history, and criminology. The foreword by Ted Robert Gurr, author of Violence in America, is followed by an historical analysis of violence on the Canadian western frontier. Other scholars describe contemporary violence: by and against indigenous peoples, women, children, and the elderly; in labor-related disputes; homicide; police and prison violence; terrorism; and discuss government responses and policy implications. Each chapter specifically addresses the sociological and political dimensions of violence. The authors make ample use of statistics and empirical research. Jeffrey Ian Ross's introduction outlines the sociopolitical dynamics of violence, and his summary chapter offers directions for future research. When the book was first published in 1995 it was widely praised by scholarly journals and has since become a standard text in the study of violence and modern Canadian cultural studies.The book is all the more valuable as its new introduction places its findings in the context of research that has been produced since the original publication. Violence in Canada will be of interest to sociologists, criminologists, and political scientists.Jeffrey Ian Ross is an associate professor in the Division of Criminology, Criminal Justice and Social Policy and fellow with the Center for Comparative and International Law, University of Baltimore. His work has appeared in many academic journals and chapters in academic texts, as well as articles in popular magazines in Canada and the United States. He is the author, co-author, editor, or co-editor of eight books.Ted Robert Gurr is Distinguished University Professor at the University of Maryland. Among his books are Why Men Rebel and Violence in America.
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